Jesse and I went shopping the Sunday following the Winter Formal. He would, after all, need clothes and other things for his apartment. Like a litter box and cat food for Spike, whom Jesse loves almost as much as he loves me. Spike, who lived at the rectory with Father Dom, kept sniffing around for Jesse after the Winter Formal…Mr. Walden had seen him outside the classroom during history class.

We bought the things he needed (some very nice clothes…I made sure they accentuated his supreme hotness), and we were walking around the mall-yes, I was in a mall, and I wasn't having a nervous breakdown…love does strange things to people-and I spotted the perfect Christmas present for Jesse: a book about the history of medicine. Very romantic, yes, but what was I supposed to do-buy him a copy of the book on Kama Sutra? Or maybe Dating For Dummies? Or The Idiots' Guide to Dating?

Besides, he was to start his college education in January for the spring semester. The book might have been useful for him. Of course, any book would be useful for him, even a dumb romance novel like Bridges of Madison County. Of course, after I thought about the book some more - and told CeeCee about him reading it - I reconsidered why he thought it was so funny. CeeCee went online and found this review that went something like: If you've ever experienced the one true love of your life, a love that for some reason could never be, you will understand why readers all over the world were so moved by this small, unknown first novel that they made it a publishing phenomenon and #1 bestseller.

Oh my God. He loved me, even as he was reading that stupid book! Except, of course, our love could be, and it was.

Now back to the original topic…

May I take this time to point out that Christmas was only two weeks away? I didn't think I'd be able to come to the mall again by myself - I only went with Jesse to be his fashion guide…and to make sure no girls would hit on him - and be able to live through the experience of Christmastime shopping and live to tell about it without drinking about five cups of herbal tea. In fact, I was sure I wouldn't be able to survive the experience.

So I had to distract Jesse from the bookstore, a difficult task, seeing as how he loves books so much-well, you can't buy people's Christmas presents with them right there with you because that's one of the lamest things to do.

Only, of course, he wanted to go to the bookstore. Just my luck. But he went over to the history section, and when he got really engrossed in a book about the Vietnam War, I slunk over to the section where the medical history book was, and I bought it, then promptly stuck it in a bag of stuff I'd bought for my other family members-a bottle of Chance by Chanel for my mom (and a matching bottle for CeeCee, myself and Gina), a grill kit for Andy, and a Goofy bobble-head for Adam's car, and a miniature telescope for David. "Querida," Jesse said, "Where are you?"

"I'm right here," I called.

"Ready to go home? We won't make it to your house in time for dinner, and I'd hate t make a bad impression on your stepfather…"

He was right; we had to go.

"Ready when you are," I said, tip-toeing to kiss him.

I looked down-and in his arms, he was holding the book I'd just bought for him as his Christmas present.

I scowled. Now what was I supposed to buy him?

"Querida, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Then I started to laugh hysterically to the point where I started crying. Jesse touched my shoulder and asked me what was wrong. I told him it was nothing, and then I pulled the book out from the bag of Christmas gifts.

Then he started to laugh. "I bought it for you." I said.

"We can read it together, then."

"Um…um…" that was all I was capable of saying, but he knew what I'd meant-I didn't want to read the book because I thought it would be boring.

"I'm sure your brother David will enjoy it," Jesse said. "I know you think my books are boring. You only like those ones by Stephen King. And Bridges of Madison County." I burst out laughing again. People were staring at us now, but I didn't really care because I was just so happy.

"Come on, let's leave," I said.

Jesse kissed me, right there in the middle of the mall, and I didn't care if anyone around us saw it. I didn't care that we were late for dinner.

And I think Andy and my mom had expected it, but, surprisingly, they-nor the rest of my family - did anything to embarrass me at dinner that night.

I'd had this poor hysterical girl show up in my room-I still lived with Mom and Andy, sadly, but that meant that I wouldn't have to work so much during the school year, leaving free time form term papers and Jesse-at two in the morning on the day of my final exam. Great. I'm going to have put on concealer to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes, I thought groggily.

"Please, please help, they told me to see you," I heard a female voice say. I, in my still-sleepy daze thought it was kind of funny that all the ghosts say "they told me to see a mediator." I mean, who where they?

"What do you want?" I said, rolling over to turn on a lamp.

"My body. It's going to be dissected in the science lab! By this guy named Jesse!" she said.

Oh my God. My boyfriend is going to see another girl's naked body before mine, because she's dead, and he has to dissect her body for school. Jesse's only been in college for two years, but he takes four "cram semesters," meaning that he will graduate pre-med in two years instead of four, and he intends to do the same for medical school.

He is apparently in a big rush to become a doctor, and God only knows why. Secretly, I think he's afraid he'll die--again--and not be able to become a doctor--for the second time.

Life is so not fair. Why should he consent to see a girl's naked body for school when he won't even feel me up? WHY?

Not fair, not fair, not FAIR.

He will see another girl's naked body. She is a ghost. What if they fall in love, and he forgets about me? I thought. Hey, I know Jesse would never do such a thing to me, but it was 2 am.

She died suddenly, and her parents hadn't had the money to have her buried or cremated, so they donated her body to scientific research. Scientific research that my boyfriend will have to complete in order to pass his final exam for this semester. It might be one thing if he had to dissect a man's body. Or maybe a nice octogenarian lady who'd died while eating a Twinkie, and this said man or old lady hadn't become a ghost, demanding to know why, exactly, was his/her body going to be dissected like a frog in a tenth-grade science lab.

Oh no. This girl, Adeline McClellan, had become a ghost for exactly that reason: she didn't want her body to be sliced up like salami, and then tossed into an incinerator, and I, for one, didn't blame her a bit-even if I did have my own selfish reasons. She was a smarter, more down-to-earth version of Kelly Prescott. She would have gone on to have a nice, wonderful life with a boyfriend who wasn't afraid to go past second base, a mother who didn't drag out the family photo albums every time the said boyfriend came over for dinner-even the ones he'd already seen a thousand and one times-and she'd most likely find a college major she knew for sure she'd be successful at making a career with-all so unlike me.

But, of course, she had to die. It always seems to happen that way, which makes me thankful that there's always a check for every good thing in my life.

For example, I was extremely happy that my family liked Jesse very well, but Brad, at the Sunday dinner Andy had invited to the night of the Winter Carnival in my junior year of high school, decided to look me straight in the eye with and evil grin on his face, and said, "Hey, Suze, isn't he the guy you let sneak into your room?" Right in front of everyone in who was present at that gathering-Mom, Andy, Jesse, David, Jake, and myself.

I had shot him a look that spelled death. How dare he, what with his hot-n-frothy fun with Kelly Prescott at his private Oktoberfest not long before that?

I so wanted to kill Brad for that…and then myself to save myself the trouble of explaining that to my mother, who was VERY excited about the fact that a boy liked me, and I liked this said boy, and he was smart, and handsome, and how I was no longer a late-bloomer, blah-blah-blah.

Fortunately, Mom, still very happy for me, refused to believe that Jesse, such a wonderful young man do such a thing, and she came to my defense quickly-and grounded Brad for two weeks. Notice how she didn't say that I wouldn't do such a thing.

But then, Jesse turned all red and wouldn't say what he thought on the matter after I'd asked him.

A check for every balance.

"I know this is for the good of science, but I don't want my body desecrated in such a manner! I know my parents don't have a lot of money, but I could have been given a state burial for free. The only way I'd want this to happen is if I were an organ donor, which I forgot to have that printed on my driver's license…" she rambled on.

I was tired. I understood her dilemma--probably better than she thought I did--but I really wanted some sleep.

"I understand. I'll talk to this Jesse about it. Maybe he will ask his professor for an alternate assignment," I yawned.

"But it's required."

"I'll talk to him, I promise. Bye, Adeline," I said.

Boy would I talk to him! But the question is, how would I do it? I couldn't be all like "Sorry, Jesse, you've been working hard, but I'm afraid you'll have to fail your class."

I yawned, rolled over, and went back to sleep.