AN: Well, this is a long time in coming! I promised to have this fic out sometime this summer, and it's already almost Valentine 's Day! I'm the worst.
This fic is for the lovely and very talented Darache – it's her prizefic that she won from me when I had that contest in Thief! (which I also need to update…). Originally a one shot, I've decided it needed at least two parts to be told properly. Anyway, sorry it took so long, Darache! You deserve so much more, since I'm a horrible beta who fell out of touch with you. ::Hangs head, ashamed:: But I hope you don't think I've forgotten about you! Despite our lack of communication, I still love you!
Covet
Always want what you can't have.
SEQ CHAPTER h r 1
Chapter one: Covet
I've been watching her for a long time. Ever since she came here, actually. I don't believe she's realized it, and I know he hasn't. He's much too busy with other things – which is a shame really because he should have seen it by now and he should have tried to stop me. Tried, because even if he said something, I wouldn't stop. I wouldn't be able to.
She adores him, despite everything he does, even though she knows what he is. Not that I have any room to talk, mind you. I'm the same, after all. But it's so easy to see flaws in those we envy, isn't it? It feels good to find something that isn't perfect about them. Though, at the same time, they make you painfully aware of your own shortcomings. Your imperfections suddenly so obvious that they sting like an open wound.
He seems perfect, though, so I can't blame her for loving him. He's beautiful, really. Her aesthetic match. That flowing silver hair that she so loves to run her fingers through at moments when they think no one is watching. That long, pale body – so smooth, so lithe in consequence of our occupation. Those penetrating golden eyes. Really, Youko's always been a lady-killer and knows it. So, physically? Perfect. Mentally? Well, as I said, there are flaws. I'm not talking about his hobbies. There's nothing wrong with what we do, it's just when you pay more attention to your job than you do a prospective mate… Well, there's something wrong with that. Especially when your prospective mate is a girl like Botan: kind, innocent, beautiful…
She adores him.
It's so unfair.
Lately though, he's been showing signs of improvement. He's been staying at the lair longer between heists. He's been spending increasingly longer amounts of time with her. He's beginning to truly love and appreciate her the way he always should have.
At first, when he'd act like Botan was little more than a bed warmer, I'd been furious for her, but secretly happy for myself. With that sort of treatment, she'd soon want to move on to someone else and I'd be there with open arms. But now that he's showing signs of deeper affection… Well, I'm still furious at him, but now it makes me feel guilty… I should be happy, if only for her sake. But it's becoming obvious that I'll never have a chance now. I'll never get to tell her or show her how I feel.
He's leaving for his next heist in a few moments. Without me. In a shocking show of concern for someone besides himself, he's asked me to stay with her for the few days while he's gone. He doesn't want her to be lonely, he says, and he knows we're good friends.
"She likes you, Kuronue, I'll feel better if you would just stay here and keep her company while I'm away." Then he looks at me with those golden eyes sparkling with humor. "Besides, with that injury, I'm afraid you'll just slow us down."
And because he's talking to his best friend, I smile back jauntily. "I can see what you're doing, fox," I say, flicking my pendulum forward quickly only to catch it as it returns, "you're trying to get rid of me! You know this injury isn't that serious; you just don't want me stealing all the attention like I did during the last robbery! Glory hog."
He laughs and puts his hand on my shoulder briefly. "You caught me. But, while I have you unjustly held up here, will you keep an eye on Botan? Don't let her get lonely."
I sigh dramatically; lowering my head and letting my hat shade my face so he can't see the flicker of triumph in my eyes. "I suppose." I say, trying to sound reluctant. "After all, you could have come up with tasks far more punishing."
"I could." He replies, serious. Our eyes lock for a silent moment and I wonder if he does know. But he laughs again, one of his ears twitching in good humor. "But I figure that I am imposing on your good nature enough. Thank you." He turns away from me, making his way through the men to where Botan stands, her hands clasped, her eyes narrowed nervously. I watch as he whispers something to her before her eyes flick over to me and she smiles. I feel myself grinning back before they move into the shadows and share a quick, passionate kiss, which cause my insides to twist painfully. Still, the grin remains plastered to my face.
Youko turns and calls for the rest of the bandits to make their way out of the lair and into the sunlight. Or moonlight. Time loses meaning down here. As they leave, Botan walks toward me.
"Kurama says that you're going to be staying here with me."
I nod and wink at her. "Why, yes. Yes I am." I sidle up to her playfully. "It's just you and me… What should we do first?" I bat my eyes and she laughs. She's used to my lighthearted flirting; she doesn't sense my serious undertone. Botan looks toward the retreating back of her lover, her beautiful lavender eyes filling with worry.
"I hope he'll be careful, Kuronue. I don't think I could handle it if he comes back injured.…" She sighs, her head drooping. I reach out and gently grasp her chin, lifting it upward until her eyes meet mine.
"I know he will be, Botan. Look what he has to come home to." Again, she flashes that wonderful smile which causes me to feel an uncomfortable, but not entirely unpleasant warmth to flow through me.
"Thank you…" Her eyes crinkle happily. "I love him, you know." She watches Youko retreat from the cave until he is no longer visible.
"I know…"
…It's so unfair.
Botan sat on a mat before a blazing fire, staring intently into the flames – a light frown marring her features.
It had only been a day since Youko and his raiding party had left, but time seemed to drag when you were practically counting the seconds until his promised return. Already, she could feel the loneliness welling within her.
"Kuronue…" She turned toward the bat winged youkai, who was lounging in a chair a short distance from her, his booted feet resting upon the table in front of him and his buckled hat shading his down-turned face as he studied the documents in his hand.
"Yes?" He asked, not lifting his head.
"What are you doing?"
Kuronue looked up at her, his dark purple eyes searching hers out across the room. "Inventory." He said, raising his hand to show the sheets of paper – which where as stark white as Youko's robes, and another reminder of the absence of her lover. Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Botan cocked her head to the side and stuck her tongue out at the thief.
"I'm bored." She announced, patting the empty spot next to her. "Come and keep me company."
Kuronue grinned and, removing his feet from their elevated position back onto the ground while dropping the papers with no small amount of relief onto the table, stalked toward her.
"Well," he said, as he settled comfortably on his stomach beside her seated form, "What can I do to help?"
Botan pressed her lips together thoughtfully as Kuronue stretched his large, leathery wings out on either side, and then brought them back in, the left one encircling Botan gently. She giggled, and looked down at the youkai who had taken off his hat and was running his fingers though his long, dark hair.
"I don't know." Botan told him, picking up his discarded hat and placing it on her own head, she smiled down at him and Kuronue felt his heartbeat quicken. She picked up the book she had been reading distractedly for the last few hours and thumbed the pages while the winged youkai watched her silently, his ever-present smile fading softly.
"Tell me," He began suddenly, folding his wings and rolling onto his back, placing his arms behind his head as he stared up at the deity, "about yourself. I just realized that I'd never asked."
Botan stared into the fire for a moment, a look of concentration on her face. "What exactly do you want to know?" She asked curiously.
Kuronue shrugged one shoulder, his eyes focusing on her face. "Where you come from, what you did, how you ended up…" He swept one arm over his head enigmatically, "Here."
Botan looked down at him thoughtfully, leaning back on one arm with a small smile, with the other hand she reached up to play with the brim of Kuronue's hat, which still rested upon her blue hair – not that Kuronue (who normally did not like anyone touching his things) minded terribly.
"Well," She said, slightly bemused, "I come from Reikai, as you know. I was training to become a ferry girl for Enma Diaoh when…" Here she paused, her smile widening dreamily.
"When what?" Kuronue pressed, desiring suddenly to reach up and cup her face in his hands, run his lips across her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth…
"When… I met Youko." She smiled brightly down at him and Kuronue did his best to return the expression – though his stomach tensed bitterly.
"How… Did you meet each other?" He asked carefully. "Kurama never did tell me." Botan giggled and pulled his hat down over her face to hide the hot blush that had formed in her cheeks. Amused by her actions, Kuronue let out a snort of laughter and reached up to pull his hat back from shadowing her lovely features.
"What?" He asked, his sensual mouth pulled back into a grin.
"It's kind of… Embarrassing." Botan admitted, biting her lip, but unable to keep from smiling. "I'm not sure I want to say."
Kuronue sensed a good story and didn't ease up. Sitting up suddenly he tackled the surprised girl to the ground, pinning her beneath his supple form. "Now you must tell me, or I won't let you up!" He cooed from above her.
"Alright!" Botan squealed, pressing her hands against his hard chest while laughing. "Alright, I'll tell you! But let me up first!"
"No." Kuronue grinned as he straddled her (how many times had he dreamed of being in this position with Botan?). "The rules are first you tell me the story, then I let you up."
Botan squirmed. "What? Who made up those rules?!"
"I did." Kuronue stuck his tongue out at her and took his hat, placing it back upon his own dark head.
"Well, they don't seem very fair…" She grumbled halfheartedly.
"The sooner you stop complaining and tell the story, the sooner you get up." The youkai said, tapping her lightly on the nose. Botan blew a strand of hair out of her face.
"Okay." She conceded, relaxing under the tall male. "But if you laugh at me…" She glared, her weak threat causing Kuronue to bite back a smirk.
"I won't." He said, with mock solemnity. Botan nodded.
"Well, remember how I told you that I was a ferry girl in training?"
"Yes." He adjusted his hat and leaned over, bringing his face closer to the pinned deity.
"I was one of the best." From underneath him, Kuronue could feel Botan's chest puffing with pride. "And," she added, "confidentially," here she gave him a small wink, "I was a favorite to become Koenma's top new ferry girl. Alas," she sighed dramatically, "it was not to be…"
"Why?" Kuronue asked, his curiosity piqued. He took his ruby and silver pendulum pendant from his pocket and wrapped it around his finger, giving it a small, sharp swing. "What happened?"
"Because… Well, that's not the best way to begin the story…" She frowned thoughtfully for a second, her light, cotton candy colored eyes following the movements of Kuronue's pendant. She smiled. "Here, she said, "let's start like this:
One day, I was delivering a soul into Reikai, when alarms started going off. So, I dropped off my soul – hiding it somewhere safe, just in case – and went to see if I could find the source of the mayhem."
I flew on my oar up to Koenma-sama's office to ask what was going on, and when I got there I found the door had been kicked open. Normally, I suppose, this would be a great sign to leave. But, being the loyal, dutiful, brave deity that I am –"
"Don't forget modest." Kuronue snorted, earning a poke to the ribs from Botan.
"I went in anyway." She continued, grinning. "And would you believe what I saw?"
"Probably signs of a struggle, that Koenma tyke bound to his chair, and my very talented partner helping himself to certain files." Kuronue smiled.
Botan blinked up at him. "Yes, exactly… How did you know?"
"I remember helping Youko plan that heist." Kuronue admitted sheepishly. " Even though I didn't go with him. We decided it would be easier if only one of us went." Originally, it had been Kuronue who was to pull it off, but right before the day they'd decided on, he'd inured his wing the first time.
"Oh… Well anyway, his back was turned and I didn't think he knew I was there, so I sneaked up behind him, raising my oar over my head and – wham! Brought it down-"
"On his head?" Kuronue asked eagerly, his grin slightly malicious. He could almost see 'perfect' Youko's head being bashed in by the woman he loved… Which was a little unfair – Youko didn't deserve that kind of treatment from the bat youkai's mind. My, what jealousy does to a person's imagination!
"No." Said Botan, grinning with embarrassment. "I brought it down into his open hands. He grabbed it from me just as his vines wrapped around my legs and pulled me to the ground. Then – well. He laughed at me. I couldn't believe how fast he moved!"
"He hurt you?" Kuronue asked quietly, almost awed. The thought that anyone would deliberately hurt the blue haired deity… It was almost unbelievable – then again, it was Youko they were talking about.
Botan made her cat face, swiping her hand through the air like a paw. "Just my pride, really. I was too angry to feel any pain. I yelled at him for a good fifteen minutes, which I think both surprised and amused him. Then I asked him to let Koenma-sama go, please."
"Then what?" Kuronue asked eagerly.
"Well," she continued, "He told me he would, on two conditions." She paused, blushing.
"What were they?" He leaned down, his face close to hers, his dark hair entwining with her own blue mane.
"Well, the first one was that I 'escort' him off the premises on my oar – which I did. I took him back to the lair. The second was… That I had to kiss him." She took a handful of Kuronue's midnight hair and held it to her face, trying to hide her crimson stained cheeks. He grinned and gently pulled his locks from her. That was definitely Youko's style, he decided, sighing.
"After that?" He hardly needed to ask – he knew the answer.
"After that I was smitten!" She chirruped cheerfully. "And so was he, I think. It wasn't long before I quit as a ferry girl and came to live here." She glared playfully at him. "Okay, I told you the story! Now it's time you fulfilled your end of the bargain and got off me you big oaf!"
"But I'm comfortable!" Kuronue teased, laying his head on her shoulder, his hands pressed against her sides. He closed his eyes, long lashes casting delicate shadows on his cheeks. "I could sleep like this." He said softly, "Couldn't you?"
Botan was actually quite comfortable. There was something pleasant about Kuronue's weight pressing down upon her. She grinned at him.
"That sounds like an invitation," She said coyly, running her fingers through his hair as he rested his head against her shoulder.
"Maybe it is," he flirted back, smiling against her neck.
"Tempting!" Botan laughed, her fingers brushing over the youkai's cheek. "But I don't think Youko would like that!" She felt Kuronue flinch, and her smile faded.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"Fine." He murmured. They lay there in silence for a minute, Botan again gently running her hands through his dark locks.
"What if it had been me?" He whispered, his hands suddenly on her waist.
"Hmm?"
"I said: what if it had been me?" He pulled away from her neck, away from her teasing fingers and leaned over her. "It was supposed to me, that day."
Botan blinked up at him, confused.
"The day you met Youko," His warm breath brushed softly over her face, "That was supposed to be me. That was my heist, but I injured my wing." He extended is wings again, casting a large shadow over the both of them.
"So my question was: What would you have done if you'd met me instead of Youko?"
"I…" Botan was completely caught off guard. Where had this come from?!
"I don't know." She told him honestly, bringing one hand up to her chest and the other, fisted, to her mouth.
He smiled ironically down at her, one clawed hand now running softly through her hair. He'd wanted to this for so long! And it was softer than he'd even imagined…
"We always flirt, don't we Botan?"
She stared silently up at him, her face unreadable. He could tell she was uncomfortable, but she hadn't pushed him away or told him to stop. How far did he want to push his luck?
As far as he could.
He didn't care anymore if he messed things up between himself and Botan. Hell, he honestly didn't care if messed things up between himself and Youko at this point. He wanted answers. He wanted to be able to live with a clear conscience.
"Do we mean it, Botan? Are we really just playing around?" His fingers traced her face, running over her forehead, her nose, pressing softly against her lips. He leaned closer to her face, his hair falling around them like a dark, silken curtain. Her body trembled under his.
"Are you just playing around?"
"Kur -- !" Botan tried, but the youkai gently placed his hand over her mouth.
"If it had been me that day, I'd have let you hit me with your oar." He grinned. "I'd have let you break it over my head – I wouldn't even have felt it, I'd have been so smitten." He took his hand away from her lips, relieved to see her smiling weakly back at him.
"I would have completely forgotten about the files. I would have wrapped my arms around you and abducted you then and there." His brow furrowed as he reached for her now shaking hands, lacing his fingers with hers.
"Would you have gone with me?" He asked softly.
He was calm, but Botan could hear the urgency in his voice. He looked down at her, his violet eyes full of both hope and fear, waiting for her answer. Botan's lip trembled as she tried not to allow herself to be overwhelmed by Kuronue's sudden and unexpected behavior. She wanted to answer him truthfully, but she also wanted to digest what had just happened between them.
He was still waiting for her reply. So patient. She couldn't leave him empty handed. But could she tell him? She truly loved Youko.
"Kuronue…"
"If Youko didn't exist!" He interjected desperately.
Botan's cotton-candy colored eyes filled with tears as she gazed back at the bat-demon. For his sake, she tried to make her brain compute the possibility.
"If…" She bit her lip, "If Youko didn't exist, then yes. Yes, I would have gone with you, Kuronue."
His furrowed brow smoothed, a look of tranquil happiness taking the place of his previously worried countenance. Botan almost sobbed. He leaned down and gently, gently pressed his lips to hers, his grip on her hands tightening ever so slightly.
She couldn't hold back the tears then, as she unlaced their fingers so she could reach up to his neck and crush him to her, opening her mouth invitingly. His tongue passed slowly over her lips, as he gently and thoroughly explored her mouth. He pulled away, moving to her neck and giving her chin a playful nip on the way down.
Botan's arms moved to his back, one hand stroking his hair while the other ran lightly over one soft, leathery wing. She sighed as Kuronue did delightful things to her neck, his hands around her waist again. He pulled her closer.
"I love you," He murmured. "I've known it since forever."
A new swell of tears ran down Botan's cheeks as she hugged him tighter. The youkai stopped his gentle ministrations and looked down at her.
"I…" She choked back a sob. "I could have loved you Kuronue. If Youko didn't exist."
He smiled sadly at her, wiping away her tears with his thumb. She gripped his shirt, breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and she grabbed at his hands, pulling them away from her face. It wasn't fair that he should be comforting her.
He chuckled, though what he found humorous, Botan didn't know.
"Don't be." He told her softly. "I wanted to know. I wanted you to know."
She nodded absently and he kissed her again, chastely. Kuronue rolled off of her and got to his feet, placing his hat over his head. She pushed herself to her knees, eyes following him.
"Well," He began, like nothing had just happened. "It's nearly dinner time! Are you hungry, Botan? I'm not the greatest cook, but I could probably whip up something edible. I'm going down to the kitchen, why don't you join me in an hour?" He smiled jovially at her, turning on his heel and waltzing from the room.
He was excellent, Botan decided, as the door shut behind him. Excellent at hiding his emotions.
Then again, he'd a lot of time to practice, hadn't he? A lot of time to watch her and Youko together, a lot of time to learn how to maintain a grin and a carefree attitude even though his emotions where whirling about in tumultuous upheaval. A lot of time to keep a smile on his face and a glint in his eye when she talked to him about Kurama. A lot of time to rationalize things to himself when he was alone.
After all, he hadn't wanted to upset her because…
He was in love with her.
And it wasn't fair.
AN: Holy Moose! I wrote something besides Youko/Botan! Well, there's still some indirect Youko/Botan involved – but let's not get into that. Kuronue/Botan! Woo-hoo! I think it would be awesome to see more of those around, it's bad enough no one gives Kuronue any limelight. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter of Covet!
Please review! -