Polarity

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Summary: Clark doesn't sneeze the same way as humans do. Clex.
Author: Sodoto.
E-mail: buggreallthisforalarke at yahoo dot co dot uk
Author's Notes: Clex, Clex, Clex, Clexy, Clexy, Clex. Oh, gosh, the "Clark-turning-randomly-into-a-woman" thang is WAY too fun not to do. glares Also, so is very!naive!Lana. That's fun too. Also dead!Lana is fun too—hey, I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

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Chapter One – The Big Sneeze

It's not often Lana Lang gets a Saturday off. Not that this is a problem at the Talon, in fact she draws up the scheduling herself, and she didn't even think of making her free day a Saturday instead of Friday until Chloe suggested it while she was drawing up the week's roster. Amy had agreed to step in, and had Lex's number in case of a real emergency, and Chloe's cell number if something less awful happened, and it being the summer vacation and all, it was quite nice to be out.

But a free Saturday she has, and she and Chloe are nosing around a clothing outlet store, Lucy-Ann, which sells stuff that the up-market Metropolis store does but cheaper. Chloe suggested a girl's day out, and Lana agreed readily, enjoying the female company now she couldn't see Nell so often.

And it's there, around a rack of suede skirts which are so soft and pretty, while Chloe is checking out some of the more non-mainstream paisley items, that she sees something really strange.

It weirds her out a little, and she stares for a moment at the scene until Chloe jostles her elbow.

"Seen another eighty-year old trying on a crop top, huh?" Chloe jokes, before she sees what Lana is looking at.

Martha Kent, shopping for clothes, but not on her own. A tall girl, shyly hiding behind Martha, with a blush on her cheeks, black hair feathered around her face which looks almost familiar but not, and dubious green eyes surveying the clothes.

"She looks a little like Clark," Lana says, surreptitiously hiding in amongst the skirt and peeking her head around the corner.

Chloe stares, and then nods. "Yeah, she does. But don't you think Clark would have said something about-"

"-unless he only found out yesterday," Lana says quickly, defending Clark even while being just as suspicious about it all herself.

Chloe sends a knowing smile in her direction. "Come on. The only way we'll get to know anything is by going and talking to them. And that might not be much. You know the Kents."

Lana wrinkles her nose. "Talk about anything that means anything, and they clam up."

Chloe raises her eyebrows slightly, and leads the way, leaving Lana to trail behind. Lana can see Martha showing the girl, who as they got closer couldn't be more than nineteen, some skirts. The girl was flushing furiously, perhaps from something Martha said. From the almost wicked grin on Martha's face, this was very possibly the case.

And then something doesn't feel right when it's the girl that notices them first, and her red face goes abruptly pale, and she blurts out, "Chloe!" and then shuffles as if knowing she's done something wrong. The blush comes out again, and there's a long pause, before "Chloe Sullivan, right?"

Lana watches Chloe almost come to a complete word standstill. The girl flings her hand out, and shakes Chloe's, even though the blonde journalist is dumbstruck.

"Clark's said so much about you, and shown me so many photos," the girl explains. "And you must be Lana?"

Lana nods.

"Ah, it's nice to finally meet the other two women in my nephew's life," the girl says, grinning, and Lana notices Martha's face react slightly. Maybe she thought we wouldn't like Clark's - aunt?? - or something.

"Uh, not to be rude, but- Clark's never mentioned an aunt," Chloe says, her usual forthright self, and Lana has to force herself not to roll her eyes, Chloe can't help but be rude, butting in is what she's good at. And she's remarkably good at making the people who she's butting into not mind so much.

"And this surprises you, how?" The girl and Martha share an almost knowing look. "Clark doesn't strike me as much of a talker. Not that I've known him long."

"None of us knew Lara existed until last week," Martha explains. "My father let it slip then, in one of his too-rare phone calls."

"To not know you have a sister, that's awful," Lana says, sympathising. She never knew she had a dad, a real dad, a biological dad, until not so very long ago, so she knows the feelings.

"Half-sister," the girl - Lara - corrects.

Lana feels a little awkward then, realising their names are only a letter apart.

"We're having a girly day out," Chloe says then. "Do you want to join us?"

"Oh-" Martha's face tenses a little, and Lana gets that feeling, like when Clark's about to lie to them.

"-we have so much to get," Lara says, and she looks real sorry, "Dad kind of left me stranded apart from the clothes I had on. And they got a bit mud covered. How long are you going to be in the outlet village for?"

Chloe looks at her watch, and scrunches up her nose, like she does when she's manipulating numbers in her head. Lana knows that look from Math class, when they're practising their "mental acuity" (Mrs. McKenzie sure needed to get more often) and often from her own reflection in the Talon mirrors when she's trying to figure out a misplaced figure in the accounts. "Uh, 'til about five? Then we thought we'd get dinner some place."

It's the first Lana's heard of it, and Chloe's sheepish smile tells her that Chloe had intended it to be a surprise. Touched, Lana smiles back at her best friend.

"We could all go, if you're here 'til then," Lana suggests.

Lara looks a little reluctant, and Lana wonders how much Clark has told her about them, but Martha flashes Lara a dark look that Lana can't quite translate, something close to you're going to have to face them sooner or later, but that can't be quite right, unless Lara is scared that she won't make a good impression on Clark's closest friends, and- Oh, that makes more sense.

"Yeah," Chloe says, obviously wildly curious about Lara, "there's a great Italian place here my dad takes me to all the time. Da Vinci's. It does an earlybird special if you order before half past six. All you can eat for like $5."

"We'll be there," Martha promises, pushing the skirt she's holding into the basket balanced on her arm. "Now, underwear?"

A flash of something crosses on Lara's face, almost like panic.

"Don't worry, if you need measuring the women here don't grope you like they do in the Metropolis stores," Chloe says, interpreting Lara's expression to be terror.

Lana is a little confused. "You mean that's not how they're supposed to measure you?" And her confusion isn't assuaged by the three female stares in her direction. Perplexed, she stares right back. "What?"

Chloe grabs her arm, and smiles winningly at the sisters. "Let's make it half past five," Chloe says, "I'm getting Miss. Naivety USA to Starbucks and teaching her a few facts about life as a woman."

Lana shrugs at them, and lets herself be dragged off.

-----

"Mom, that was so embarrassing!" Clark buries his face in his hands, and then remembers he can't really call them his any more, and feels more depressed.

"I know, sweetie. But we couldn't exactly say you'd managed to sneeze yourself into womanhood yesterday afternoon, could we?" Martha tries to be sympathetic with her son-er-daughter, but is finding it hard, and Clark is even more devastated by the way he notices her shoulders shaking.

"It's not funny," Clark whimpers, and looks down at him-no-herself. Things are there that should not be there, and things are gone which should not be gone, and don't even mention the whole toilet debacle. And he's wearing some of his mother's old clothes, which don't quite fit right, which is why he's glad in a way to be there, and it was just sod's law that Chloe and Lana were there just at that same time. "I thought it was just a fluky thing that happened last vacation," he says, still whimpering really, but it sounds worse in the girl voice he's acquired along with the whole gender switch.

It's still painful to remember that three week holiday, unable to see any of his friends, and it was actually painful to switch in the first place. He'd thought it under control until last night, and his dad (her dad, his brain is interjecting, so maybe his-her brain has gone feminine too) dropped a box of soap powder accidentally, and it got right up his nose, and he sneezed. And was female again, resplendent in a pair of overalls his mother had made him wear last time it had happened, and no matter how many different things they threw at him to make him sneeze back into being male and normality - as normal as things got for a teenage alien with superhero powers - it didn't work.

Clark was kind of stuck as a girl this time. For all they knew it could be - shudder - permanent.

And when he'd been in the bathroom, dubiously sat on the toilet seat and steadfastly not wanting to touch anything, and Martha was shouting helpful suggestions through the wall (squeeze? what the kind of hell crazy thing was that?) he managed to go which was better than last time as he'd been unable to go for four days and then had wet himself.

Which hadn't ever ever happened before, at least not since he was a baby in- well, he would like to say nappies, but who knew what babies wore on Krypton. Who even knew that gender switching wasn't normal, or that he was actually a she all along without knowing it.

"Well, we're just going to take things how they come," Martha says. "I think we can risk being in public this long. You had two days of being one gender before a switch happened last time. We just hope it either happens the same, or-"

"-hope we can semi-explain it as a meteor mutation," Clark grouches. "I get it."

Martha flicks through some sweaters, and picks out a red v-necked one in Lara's size, dropping it into the basket, indulging her love of primary colours on her son-daughter-child, whatever. "If we get one of those pretty black skirts you wouldn't let me get earlier, you could dress up for the meal with Lana and Chloe if you like," Martha says.

Clark facevaults at her. "Mom," he hisses, "I'm having trouble with this whole thing as it is."

"Lara, you may have to face being stuck this way. We've known for the last few months that it could be a possibility. We just don't know how your- unique physiology works," Martha says, using unique just in case, you never know who's listening in and it's been incriminating enough so far.

Clark pulls a face. "I might be stuck as Lara my whole life?" He asks, and shudders. "Well, it could be worse, I suppose," he says. And then, in a small voice, "but what about my- a birth certificate, or-"

And Martha sighs so heavily, that Clark - no, Lara, he might have to get use to thinking of himself as Lara, and her, and she, and female - puts his (her) hand on Martha's elbow, worried that she's hurt. "That might not be a problem," Martha says, in such a low voice that Clark is glad of his superhearing - Lara is glad of her superhearing, he (she) means, and oh is this ever confusing. "About five, six years, before we found you, my mother-" And Martha wheezes slightly, like it hurts. "-she died giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Clara after mom's favorite character in the Nutcracker. My father- threw out her birth certificate in horror when he lost both my mom and Clara."

And Clark mouths, oh, it all falls into place. "So I would have had an aunt," he says. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay," Martha says, and her face looks a little older than it did before but maybe it's the lighting, Clark doesn't know for sure. "You weren't to know. I rescued the papers, I don't know why, but now-" She smiles. "Now it's a good thing I did."

Clark smiles back, he doesn't know why but it seems easier on his female face. Then he pulls a face at his mom. "I see why I prefer Lara," he says. Martha looks almost as puzzled as Lana did a few minutes back. "Clara Clark?" he says, when Martha still looks confused. "It's a bit- Like a name you'd expect to be out of a comic book."

Martha agrees with a nod, as they make their way back to the skirts, and Martha throws two in the basket. Clark pulls a face.

"You're enjoying this too much," he accuses.

"I know," Martha says, pushing him- her- in the small of the back in the direction of the lingerie section. "Bras and panty hose next."

Clark just grimaces while his mom starts to laugh hysterically.

-----

Chloe is surprised as it hits half five and Martha Kent and Lara are stood there by the front of Da Vinci's. They're carrying more bags, and Lara is flushing tremendously. She's changed clothes, which Chloe is a little surprised at until her memory pokes at her a little, and she remembered Lara's clothes before, they didn't fit right, as if they belonged to someone else. They probably had, Chloe remembers something about being left only with one mud-splattered outfit, and realises she would have changed too.

Martha obviously chose the outfit too, which is surprising, because although Chloe's never had a sister, if she had one, she wouldn't take fashion tips from them. Except she might take tips from Lana, if the ex-cheerleader wasn't quite so spectacularly dense about the real world, because Lana's almost her sister now anyways and she can pull off any outfit spectacularly. But, Chloe realises, she doesn't quite have Lana's bone structure, which is enviable. So is Lara's, Chloe thinks too, while she's still analyzing Clark's 'new' relative. Not as tall as Clark, but still tall with curves in the right place, and the same cheekbones and the same eyes.

It's a little strange how uncannily the girl looks like Clark, even though technically they're not actually related at all, Clark being adopted and all. But then, Clark was always damn sure that that woman that time couldn't have been his biological mother, and that adoption was damn suspicious to be truly honest, the Clarks were a rich family in Metropolis and would definitely be able to fund a surreptitious adoption, maybe he and Lara were brother and sister-

Chloe shakes off all the ideas leaping into her head, reminding herself that conjecture is bad, facts are really good. Although, one has to exercise jumping-to-conclusions in Smallville, sometimes. But if she was going to become a serious journalist one day - and oh she was, she really was - then she was going to have to do some research and unravel this mystery properly.

Lana is still quite speechless, and outraged that several people had been feeling her up for years now, and was bolstered by Chloe's suggestions of reading some of the feminist psychologists and joining the cause, surfing the crimson wave and all that. So it's up to Chloe to make the small talk as they approached the - supposed sisters, Chloe's brain thinks, and she shakes it off. The Kents are good people, she doesn't know about the Clarks but unlike most of the small-minded Smallville people she doesn't judge by the surname of someone.

She can hold some spectacular grudges, as both Pete and Clark can no doubt attest to.

"Hi," Lara says, and her voice is still shy and muffled. Lara asks "How was your day?" and she's polite, to the Kent level of polite, which causes Chloe a small feeling of shame, that she thought Lara and Martha weren't related.

"Great," Lana speaks up, although she looks dazed still. "I hope they have some good food on the buffet, I'm starving."

"It smells real good," Lara agrees, and Chloe frowns, the word pattern sounds familiar but she can't put her finger on it, almost like Clark's but she hasn't been around Clark long enough to pick it up, and if Lara is a Metropolis girl, her voice doesn't have that Metropolis twang to it, the one Chloe worked hard to get rid of.

"Really, not real, Lara, darling," Martha says, with that still amused look on her face. "Honestly, you're almost as bad as Clark."

A murderous glint flashes in Lara's eyes but the girl dimples anyway. "Oh, you say that like it's an insult."

"Believe me," Chloe says, "it's an insult."

And Lara looks hurt for a second, but brushes it away. Lana's stomach grumbling distracts them, and she looks at them apologetically.

"Sorry," Lana says, "I haven't had much to eat today."

"We'd better remedy that then," Martha says, putting a motherly arm around Lana and walking with her into the restaurant, leaving Chloe to walk by Lara.

"I assure you," Chloe says as they walk into the building and a smiling waiter with a touch of Enrique Iglesias but younger about him leads them to a table for four and gives them plates for the all you can eat buffet. "Nothing Clark has told you about me is true. None of it."

Lara's lips quirk in suppressed amusement. "So you didn't put purple dye in Pete Ross' shower head? Or sing the Macarena during roll call last week? Or drink fourteen frappucinos in one day and end up with a hangover from them?"

And Chloe laughs. "Clark has told you a lot about me," she says, and it's almost a relief that Lara knows these things, if Clark has spoken so fondly about her.

"Of course," Lara says quickly, almost as if affronted, but Chloe doesn't see how someone can be insulted by what she said. "You're one of his best friends."

Chloe beams brightly, a grin of joy, irrationally happy from the words. It's true, they are best friends, even though Clark lies, but Chloe trusts Clark has a reason for it, and that's what best friends are, people who can be your friend and won't push for your deep dark secret. Well, Chloe did push at first, and it shames her to remember, but then Clark went moody and evil so it kind of makes up for it.

"Yeah," Chloe says, "yeah, I am. And he's one of mine, too."

Lara takes a seat next to Chloe while Martha and Lana go to the buffet, leaving them to guard their shopping bags. Chloe knows from experience that it's hard to get food at this place and carry bags, so it's a good arrangement and one her dad never thinks about.

"I hope we can be friends too," Lara says and the words are kind of rushed together but Chloe can hear them fine, and Lara looks at her tentatively with those Clark-green eyes, the eyes that make Chloe say yes to any question.

In fact, it's so eerily Clark-ish, that Chloe is shaken up, but she smiles a bright, winning smile anyway. "Any aunt of Clark is a friend of mine," Chloe says. The relief on Lara's face is immediate, and Chloe is struck at how young the girl actually is, not the nineteen she originally thought but closer to her own age. "Even if you're more like a sister, age-wise."

Lara pulls a wry face. "Yeah, it makes me feel old being an aunt!"

"I bet," Chloe says, laughing, and Martha and Lana are back, so Chloe and Lara go over to the buffet. Chloe loads her plate with the usual, hot chicken wings, ham, mayonnaise, lettuce leaves, red onion, and those garlic croutons her dad hates but she can't get enough of, and she doesn't even notice Lara's plate until they get back to the table, and damn if Lara doesn't have the same tastes as Clark too, beef, cheese, bread, chips, and lots of it.

They start to eat, and Chloe's neck tingles, like when she's had an idea for a story and she's sure it's true she just doesn't have proof yet. Lara is way too close to being like Clark in looks and mannerisms for having only met him a week ago. And Clark wouldn't hide something like having a new aunt, right? Unless there was something fishy about her and then of course Clark would clam right up.

"Urgh, I really don't know how you do it," Lana says, looking enviously at Lara's plate of carbohydrates and protein to her own, salad and chicken and low-fat vinaigrette and potato wedges.

"What do you mean?" Lara asks, her fork down nervously, and she looks briefly to Martha for support, who just shrugs.

"You're one of those annoying girls that can eat all they like and not put on weight," Lana says, smiling a little. Lara relaxes and picks up her fork again. "You're so slim!"

"Guess it stays in the family," Lara says, looking over at Martha again but this time softly. "Clark's like that too."

"Yeah, he is," Chloe agrees. "I'd say he should eat more, but he packs away enough as it is. I honestly don't know how he eats so much."

"All those farm chores, I expect," Martha says, laughing. "Why do you think I have to bake so much, but to feed my hungry boys."

And both Chloe and Lana exchange a glance at Lara's reaction. The girl looks down at her plate, almost sad, and Martha is looking as if she said something wrong.

"I didn't mean-" Martha says, one hand on Lara's, but it's all apparently too much for her and Lara runs out of the restaurant, hair flying behind her, and Martha just looks. Uncomfortable, Martha plays with her food. "She'll be back," Martha explains, after a moment of shocked silence. "She, well, she worked last summer as an au pair for one of dad's co-workers, baked every day for the man's two little boys, angels they were. And-" Martha's face tightens. "It was the end of summer, and Lara had just finished working there- The guy sent his boys back to Edge City-"

"-where the big explosion was," Lana says, realising. "Oh, how awful."

Chloe feels almost chastised, and she feels bad for thinking such a horrid thing, and when Lara comes back, her eyes a little red, no one says much about it at all, just indulge in idle chit-chatter about movies, and likes, and dislikes, and when Lara expresses a dislike for peas, Chloe doesn't even chalk it up to Clark-like behaviour.

-----

"Urgh, it was awful," Lara says, after an hours pep talk from her mom on the way back that she May Actually Have To Start Dealing With Being Female. Thinking it is hard, but she's getting there. "I could totally tell Chloe had sussed something as being wrong."

"You heard the lie I told them about-" Martha starts, and Jonathan frowns a little at the word lie, but he knows it's all necessary, he'll do whatever he has to to protect his family, even when strange alien things keep happening to it.

"Yes." Lara twiddles her thumbs on her tan-panty-hosed legs, and grimaces a little. "I'm sorry I reacted like that, it's just- Last time I was so scared it would happen again, and now- Now I'm just scared about where Clark has gone. It's- easier to think of myself as suddenly someone else, and- Oh, god, I have a split personality disorder."

Lara flings herself into her hands.

"They're all going to hate me," she adds, eventually looking up morosely at her parents. Her, her, her. It's going to kill her one of these moments.

"Clark-" Jonathan starts, then stops himself. "Lara. Whatever happens, you're still our child. The baby we raised to be individual and caring and protecting and wonderful. That will never change."

"The lying won't ever change, ever?" Lara asks, and it sounds like despair, and oh it sounds like pain. Tears come again, but she doesn't care, it feels a little better, it feels a tiny bit human and that's just what she needs right now. It's almost as if she's only just realised she'll be lying forever. And forever seems so long, and- Lara chokes, Cassandra's vision flashing in her mind, all the people she cares about in graves, surrounding her, while he- she was alive.

"Oh, honey," Martha says, and flings her arm around her, in the best hug Lara's had for a long time, and she buries her head in her mom's shoulder, and she can hear Martha's heartbeat which is so reassuring that it just makes the tears come harder.

There's a knock at the door, and they all turn to see Lex Luthor there. A vessel in Jonathan's face jumps, and Lara manages a strangled "dad" so Jonathan tries to look less mad. Lara wipes her eyes with the tissue Martha passes her while Jonathan opens the door.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time," Lex says as he steps in. "I was looking for Clark."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lex. Clark's gone away for the week. He tried to call, but your phone was engaged," Martha says, and that part's true, they called earlier with Lara putting a tea cloth over the receiver to deepen her voice, but they couldn't get through anyway.

Lex has an expression on his face which is a queer combination of regret, shock and compassion. Lara realises that last is for her, and feels ashamed that yet again there was one more lie to keep from her friend. Clark's friend, I mean, she adds, silently, because Lex doesn't know Lara at all, and from the way Jonathan is going into severe apoplexy he won't get to know her.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lex says smoothly. "Perhaps I can call again next week."

"Um, I'll get him to call you when he gets back. He's in Eerie with his grandfather, out in the sticks somewhere. He rang last night, but it was a really bad connection," Martha explains.

"Of course," Lex says. He looks at Lara, and then away again as if not wanting to be caught looking.

"Oh, sorry!" Martha exclaims, getting up and pulling Lara to her feet with her. "This is Lara Clark, my sister."

A quirk of a smile comes on Lex's pale face, and Lara almost falls over in shock when Lex takes her hand and kisses it. "Charmed," Lex says, and it's all Lara can do to stand up and not laugh at the puking actions her dad's making.

"Clark's said so much about you," Lara says, and dimples a smile at Lex.

Lex smiles right back, only it's not the usual smile Clark receives from Lex, it's a mite tighter. "Not all of it is true," Lex says, and he's still smiling that smile, like Lex uses when he- And Lara's heart thumps into her feet. It's the smile he used like when he took Clark to a bar and he was showing Clark how to pick up women and Clark already knew Lex couldn't teach him much because girls were fawning over Lex because of who he was, like they'd fawned over Kal who had lots of money and fast cars and a hot new girl on his arm every night. Lex is hitting on Lara. And it's so weird and wrong and yet lightening at the same time that Lara just wants to laugh.

So she does, a little, and Lex cat-grins back. "Well, I have to dash, I'm afraid," Lex says, nodding his head at Jonathan and Martha. "I hope to see you around, Lara."

Lara can only nod, as Lex sweeps out of the house to his car. Then she buries her head in Martha's neck, and the two women laugh hysterically, and Jonathan is looking perplexed at them.

"Darn women, can never understand you," Jonathan grinds out, shaking his head in amusement.

"Lex was hitting on me," Lara explains, holding her side and laughing. And Jonathan looks shocked for a moment, frozen in time, before a genuine smile cracks on his face.

"Damn," he says, looking amused. "Gee, it'd be almost worth telling him just to see the look on his face."

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TBC – Coming soon : Clark's sneezing power goes haywire!