DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto. Perhaps this is a good thing. Or the warpage would be ins4ne. Ins4ne like a bungee jumper.

A story about the Sound Trio! Oh boy! They're so underappreciated, they deserved a fic. And a shrine. I AM the only DZK shrine on the net. Whoooo.

Read and review; feedback is like, my drug.

Warning: Severe out-of-characterness on Zaku and Kin's part.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

A low snore was heard from the person sleeping underneath the covers of the unmade bed.

"Wake him up," Kin said, her freak-helium-accident of a voice echoing a bit through the room, even in the whisper she was attempting. I say attempting because it wasn't much of a whisper; it was more like the last desperate squeal of a naked molerat being crushed underneath an obese man's foot.

Dosu uncovered the sleeping Zaku and poked his nose. "Wake up, you."

BUT ZAKU DIDN'T WAKE UP!!!

"Maybe he's dead. Let's stab him and see what happens." squealed Kin with an evil murderous look in her eye. It was like something Ed Gein would do. We all know Kin is SO similar to Ed Gein, the well-known mass murderer famous for eating soup from human skulls and wearing a belt crafted from the nipples of his victims. That's just so Kinish, y'know?

". . .let's not." Dosu said monotonously, cuz Dosu's the normal one and normal people speak monotonously. "I'll kick him though. I love to kick people." He kicked Zaku like an evil kicking fiend. So much for normal. Geez.

BUT ZAKU DIDN'T WAKE UP!!!

Instead, he made a little grunting noise and switched positions, mumbling something along the lines of "Me eat diaper".

Dosu then became a genius like Dmitri Mendeleyev. Except instead of creating the Periodic Table, HE REMEMBERED HE HAD A SOUND AMPLIFIER ON HIS ARM!!! Oh the ingenuity.

So he used it, right next to Zaku's ear, knowing that this HAD to awaken the sleeping beauty.

BUT ZAKU DIDN'T WAKE UP!!!

Dosu's sound amplifier had never failed to wake anybody up. So this puzzled him quite a bit. He did a o.o face. But it really wasn't a o.o face. It was more of a o face. Cuz Dosu's like a one-eyed one-horned flyin' purple people-eater.

"It amazes me that was unsuccessful. What do we do now?" he asked, looking to Kin for ideas.

Kin pondered deeply. She pondered so deeply he had to rub her chin and look thoughtfully at the ceiling and go "HUMMMMMM" because that's what pondering people do. It made her feel strangely Irish for some reason.

She clashed two cymbals together like Mallow, she played a trombone, she threw a piano against the wall, then she felt as if she was using too much musicalness so she farted.

BUT ZAKU DIDN'T WAKE UP!!! This is beginning to hurt my spleen.

"Enough." Dosu sighed. What could they do? They had a mission, but they couldn't do it if part of their posse was SLEEPING! Oh, the predicament!

Just then, Zaku suddenly THREW himself out of bed and landed on the floor. Then he stood up all fast and fencepost-ish like an army dude. "SIR YES SIR!" He saluted.

Dosu blinked. "Finally. . .what woke you up?" he asked.

"My bitch senses were tingling." Zaku stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and that Dosu was just pure idiocy to not realize Zaku's bitch senses could tingle.

"Right. . .now come on. Tayuya called over the Super Intercom Located Only In Sound Headquarters (also known as SILOISH), and she wants us to head down to the Purple Room so she can assign us a mission." The image of their evil sergeant-person Tayuya cussing out leprechauns popped through Dosu's mind. Aww man.

"She's giving us a MISSION?" Kin squealed. All she really can do is squeal. Yay. I notice in all of my successful fics I have someone who squeals every second of the day. Not to say this fic is successful or anything.

"Duh. That's why you came with me to awaken Zaku, remember? You knew we were going on a mission." said Dosu.

"I didn't come for that. I just came cuz I want your bod, Dosu." squealed Kin.

Dosu decided to end this conversation right here before Kin started to straight-out molest him. "Come on. To the Purple Room. "

They started to walk down the hallway of the Sound HQ towards the Purple Room, when Zaku suddenly stopped. ". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"Hm? What is it?" asked Dosu, looking back at his comrade. Yes, comrade. MY Sound Trio have a nice friendly little family bond unlike the freak sacrifice-each-other team in the show.

"We're going to a PURPLE ROOM. I don't like purple rooms."

"It isn't a purple room. It's a Purple Room."

"I DON'T CARE!!! Purple rooms give me hideous nightmares about those evil Fruit Gusher-headed people from the late nineties! THOSE PEOPLE HURT ME!!!" And with that, Zaku got all rebellious and sat down on his patooty right there, right then. With his arms crossed like a stubborn toddler.

Dosu sighed. "Don't start this now. . .if we don't get to Tayuya faster, she's going to send out a horde of girl scouts after us."

And right he was. Poor Dosu. He always knows what's going to happen next, even if it's a horde of girl scouts. This frightened him.

The girl scouts lined up in rows of seven, marching in place like army dudes. "You are tardy!" They said as they pulled out their little machine guns. "Tardy is Satan! TARDY IS SATAN!!!" And with that, they fired their guns, blowing Dosu, Zaku, and Kin to little pieces.

. . . . .HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. That would be mean if our heroes blew up right then and there! We'll just pretend it's possible for tens of thousands of machine guns aimed perfectly at the trio can miss miserably.

However, one bullet did graze Kin. It barely missed her, but it did break one of her prettiful curled eyelashes.

Kin did a Horrified Ed Face. By that I mean the face Edward Elric does in like every other episode of Fullmetal Alchemist when something reminds him of his mother. Silly Ed. EVERYTHING reminds him of his mother! It's like "Hey look, Onii-san, a semi truck." "OH MY GOD NO MOTHER! -horrified ed face- "

But ANYWAY, Kin did a Horrified Ed Face. She had lost. . . .an eyelash. There was no way she could go on living anymore.

She fell in slow-motion backwards to the ground, her fatal wound splashing eyelash-blood everywhere around in her a puddle. Zaku grabbed her before she fell.

With a little trickle of blood coming out of the side of her mouth, Kin's death-stricken eyes looked painfully up at Zaku, who was being all cliche dramatic dude holding her going "NOOO DON'T DIE ON MEEEE".

"Za. . . .zaku," she squealed hoarsely. "I'm afraid. . . .I'm going to die now. I hope you know I always loved you. "

Dosu in the meantime thought this whole ordeal was really stupid and that Kin needed to DEAL WITH losing her eyelash, and not DIE because of it.

"I. . . .I can't return your feelings! I'm sorry!" Zaku said, feeling real awful now. ". . . .because I'm in love with Dosu!"

Dosu's face kinda went wtf. You can't really tell if he's wtfing though. Because all you can see is one eye. Meaning half his face could be wtfing while the other half is like . But I doubt it. Let's just say his whole face is going wtf, not half of it.

"I know," Kin squealed in pain. "I was just kidding about loving you. I love Dosu too. Everyone loves Dosu. He's so sexy."

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Okay, now Dosu didn't know WHAT to think. He'd just pretend he never heard any of that. So he wiped his wtf face with some Clorox bleach, and preceded to look casual. Casual meaning fighting off girl scouts who were at this point attacking taijutsu-style.

Zaku dropped Kin on the ground bluntly. "I'm bored. Let's play slapjack."

Kin suddenly forgot she had lost her source of life, her eyelash, and she stood up. "I should become useful for the first time in my life!" she squealed. So she helped Dosu fight Tayuya's girl scout army.

Zaku just kinda stood there stupidly and watched.

Finally, the girl scouts had been defeated, thanks to Dosu's sound amplifier, Kin's needles, and Zaku's stupidlyness.

"Let's go now. . . .before she finds more reinforcements," suggested Dosu as he continued towards the Purple Room. Kin followed. Zaku did too, after picking up some leftover girl scout cookies that had been strewn across the hall. Girl scout cookies made him so gleeful!

The adventure. . .BEGINS HERE!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Kin: So, everybody, what did you think of the first chapter? .

Dosu: Please leave reviews.

Zaku: -choking on girl scout cookies in background-

Kin: This story has no planning or anything beforehand, it's all spur-of-the-moment, so we can't give you a preview for the next chapter! Just know it'll be exciting and random and bears, oh my!

Dosu: . . .yeah. And don't forget to visit the author's website dedicated to us. It's cool.

Zaku: -CHOKE CHOKE COUGH HACK-

Dosu: Well, see you next time.

Kin: Ja matta ne!

Zaku: -coughs up his pancreas- Yay.