A/N: This story has not been abandoned. I've been going through a re-write of parts that I've not been satisfied with. There won't be any major plotpoint changes. However, there will be dialogue and character interaction changes.
To show you that I really didn't abandon it...here's a teaser towards the next bit of action. As always, I'd love to hear what you think.
The information slowly coalesced in front of me as I continued my daily regimen, trapped within the Temple. The records of the negotiations were scant and didn't help. On the other hand, the information regarding the original betrayal soothed my nerves but not my conscience. The former Jedi and later Sith Apprentice, Sulun Destrierq was a handsome man. He was even more handsome before turning to the Darkside. His hair glowed a bright red in the holos I had Dustil find. His home world was one of the middle planets my forces overran during my time as the Dark Lord of the Sith.
I found myself looking at everyone as the possible betrayer and that started to color my existence. It was a struggle not to act on the dark thoughts swirling in my head. HK's murderous suggestions every time I returned to my rooms weren't helping.
It all came to a head when I found myself becoming overly aggressive with Dustil during a training session. When he knocked me off my feet, I raised my hand and a stream of Force Lightening spurted out of my palm. His screams ricocheted around the room as I frantically cut it off.
"Dustil?" I hated how I sounded. In all honesty, I was frightened at what I'd done. My voice, however, sounded angry and I wasn't. Disengaging my lightsaber, I tossed it to the side as I hurried over to my padawan. His silence scared me even more than his lack of motion. "Dustil?"
The slide of the door sounded off to my right as I crouched over Dustil. After reaching out with the Force, I could feel Juhani as she hurried in with a few of her padawans. She gently pushed me out of the way as she began to tend to Dustil. Everything seemed to be foggy and clouded. Slowly but surely, I was shouldered to the back of the group. I could no longer see my padawan. Instead, there was a nameless and faceless sea of brown robes in front of me.
When an arm encircled my shoulders and another pressed against me, steering me away, I startled.
"Come with me, Revan." Jolee sounded far more serious than I'd ever heard him.
I followed behind by rote. I would've liked to say that my mind raced with thoughts as to why I'd had such a dark thing shoot from my hands but I would be lying. Funny that I refuse to lie but I could shoot Force Lightening.
Eventually, we came to Jolee's small office. It was cozy with its armchairs and lack of pretentious Jedi memorabilia. The holo of the Hawk's crew sat on a table. I'd been such a different person when that had been taken. The loss of my newly regained brother had eviscerated me but Carth and I had been talking. I amended my thought. The crew and I had been talking. Where in the Force had I gone wrong?
"You've gotten yourself into another pickle, Revan." Jolee's somber tone brought me back to the harsh reality of my current existence. That worried me more than I could ever express. Jolee was never somber. Cantankerous, grumpy, sarcastic and whining all fit his demeanor but never somber.
"Why don't you tell me what happened back there?" I finally looked away from the holo.
"How did you know to come so quickly?" Was that small broken voice really me? I felt a slither of evil laughter ricochet through my head before I clamped down.
"We felt the ripple in the Force, Revan." I looked down towards my hands.
"I don't know, Jolee. I really don't know. Dustil knocked me on my ass and when I stood, the Lightening shot out. I didn't will it to happen. I'd planned on standing and calling my saber back to me before continuing the sparring. I really didn't…" My voice faded out as I began to repeat myself.
The door slid open. I didn't look up from my contemplation of my hands. I noticed my nails were a bit rough and cracked, as well as my hangnails, when I sensed Juhani's presence.
"Dustil is in the medbay." I nodded, keeping my gaze down. "Revan, I don't understand. How could you…"
"We were just discussing that, Juhani. Sit." Jolee interrupted the Cathar.
"I didn't mean for it to happen." My thumb would require a bit of attention as the skin on the knuckle was cracked.
"What brought this on?" Juhani sounded puzzled and, to my shame, betrayed. I'd betrayed her faith in me.
"He knocked me on my ass. I reached to call my saber back to me when the Lightening came." When Juhani's hand rested on my shoulder, I finally looked up. The understanding, tempered by the pain, broke through the cloudy barrier.
"I've felt so alone. I've been jumping at shadows, not trusting anyone. Malak tells me…" Horrified at what I'd let slip, I clamped a hand over my mouth. The voice in the back of my head berated me.
"Malak tells you? How is it that you still speak to him?" This time, I didn't hear the door slide as Master Vandar walked in. I was in deep poodoo as Mission would say.