A Parallel Dimensional Fairytale

Chapter 14: Drunk and in Denial

Disclaimer: Not mine.

OO

O

OO

Assuming a length of about, um, twelve meters and a height of one and two thirds, why ever they made a room the storage room no normal grown man could stand in, man, that's right, someone as tiny as Kagome's counterpart probably could, and wasn't she responsible for the storage anyway? She'd mentioned something like that, hadn't she – Inuyasha shook his head. A length of twelve, a height of one and two thirds, then a width of about five for the aft and, uh, eight for the fore , something like that, made for a volume of, of, gods this was pointless. The girl was gone, but did she leave him alone? No! He couldn't concentrate on even the simplest calculations, not that it was really imperative to know the volume of the storage room, but it was a welcome diversion... had it worked, which it refused to.

Inuyasha leaned back so abruptly his head hit the mast with a considerable crack, but he was well beyond feeling pain, physical pain, that is. Fuck, why couldn't she have just shut the fuck up about all of it. There he was, pathetically trying to cheer her up, showing her the starry sky, fetching a blanket, being overall nice and even considerate, and how did she repay it? By playing her freaking mind games again, that's how. As if his mind hadn't been played with enough already, by women who wormed their way into his head until they knew which buttons to push... but best not go there now, lest he accidentally take the ship apart to vent his anger. Actually... they even looked a bit similar, now that he was foolish enough to think about it. But, no, no, best not go there, no. Back to the other woma – girl, that's what she was, nothing but a stupid little girl who thought she knew it all.

"I like you, Inuyasha." he mimicked her voice. Keh, the very thought!

It was just ridiculous. Probably she was just a lot drunker than she let on, because how else could she not have freaked out when he told her about... that. Uh, yeah, that was pretty ridiculous, too, how he felt so strangely compelled to tell her all that crap about himself... really, what was the point? It was none of her business anyway!

Although, and this was as ridiculous as it got, for all his insides screamed whenever his awareness only brushed that gagged, bound and locked up memory, finally saying it out loud, making it true, in a way, had felt... relieving. Which was madness, because he'd always expected that the very moment he'd come to accept what happened, that it was him who'd caused all those screams and shrieks and splatter and the sickening smell of blood and guts and gunpowder that crashed down on him every time he slipped into the stage between sleep and vigil, well, he'd expected he'd want to put and end to his shameful existence, really. But, apart from the fact that he was already dead and killing himself here would only have brought him out of the dimension, not out of existence, he did not really feel like dying now, even if only as a sort of self-punishment.

For one it wouldn't do leaving Kagome alone on a ship with a bunch of guys that were not only, well, male, and of a certain age, but also a bit on the wild (and stupid) side. And also, who knew if those motherfuckers up there wouldn't disqualify him if he interfered with their plans like that, then there'd be no reward... His reward, right, now there was a not brain wrecking and heart smashing thing to think about... What to ask for, what to ask for...

Kagome certainly never had had any doubts about what she wanted, which was why he felt he was working for her rather than for those freaks. Gods, this girl was driving him mad! She was impossible, nosy and whiny, and yet... the thought of leaving her alone in all of this was just wrong. He couldn't do it, he knew. Although who knew if she'd want him around anymore when she'd wake up the next morning, sober again, and remember what he accidentally told her. Because she surely couldn't have been serious about the way she reacted.

It was the same as in the last dimension, the fucking nightmare which had triggered all those fond memories in the first place; she didn't seem particularly scared or disgusted or anything. No, she'd gone all calm and serene and had said the most peculiar things. It wasn't like he didn't want to believe her, back then or just now, no, wouldn't it be just wonderful if they were true? If he could really deny his responsibility, act like being oh so sorry was enough to make it all go away? He laughed bitterly.

Yeah right.

Even if he'd been something like unconscious through the whole of it, weren't it his own claws that'd been so thoroughly soaked in blood that no matter how often he washed them a slight rusty sheen remained until he'd just bitten them off? And wasn't it his own skin that stank so much of blood and guts that he couldn't keep any food to himself for weeks after that night? Wasn't it? "I bet there was more to it," he mimicked her. More to it his freaking ass! Following that bullshit line of thought you could just as well go and declare any mass murderer of the world innocent just by diagnosing mental instability. But it didn't work like that. First of all, there were thousands of people who were unstable and still never went and murdered all over the place. And even if he was mad, a freak, a monster, uncontrollable and deadly, he still had enough of a mind the rest of the time, he should have recognized himself for what he was and just killed himself before that fated incident.

Oh but no, all his life before the ban, before... her, he'd fought against it, fueled by false pride and the remaining warmth of his poor deluded mother's love, childishly defying anyone who'd already understood that he was no more than an animal with thumbs and tried to slay him. A fucking century and a half he'd clung to his life, to the idea that he was worth something, that his existence was justified. Clung to it with all he had, all he was. And what for? Only to have it all come slamming back in his face, twice; every time he'd left the relative idyll of his solitary life as an outcast hermit and pathetically tried to make friends (... or more) with the people that had, understandably, shunned him all his previous life. The first time was a joke, he'd thought he'd found someone who was like him and come across a fucking traitorous bitch instead, who'd just gained his trust to finish him off, showing him quite clearly of what incredible importance his existence was to her. And the second time, he'd only managed a few feeble steps towards something like friendship when within the blink of an eye his true nature had surfaced and shown him that he was in no way as human as he'd deluded himself to be. Not only was he insignificant but more so, dangerous. A freak of nature, an accident. Not a smooth fusion of humanity and super-naturalism but a heterogeneous, explosive stew of both, never meant to happen.

But then, when this was all so very crystal clear to him, had he been man enough, oh sorry, of course not man enough, but did he have the guts to take the necessary steps and just put an end to it? He didn't. It had taken a freaking accident, a stupid mismeasurement, to finish him off. In the end, he didn't even redeem his honor by being the one to rid the world of the menace he represented.

The shame of it wracked him so much he almost fell from the crow's nest. When he grasped for leverage his hand came across the bottle he'd brought up with him. He pulled it close to look at it. It was only half empty. Every fiber inside burned for him to uncork it and drink until he'd feel no more, until that magical liquid would freeze his blood, and switch off his mind, just like that, until there was nothing but quiet, warmth and the peculiar feeling that the world had stopped spinning, that nothing mattered anymore.

Gods, how he loved that moment, it was beautiful. Seconds before his claws may have dug into the flesh of his palms from anger, his skin might be raw from where his disgust with himself made his hands try to rub away the blood that was gone for decades, but as the liquid burned down his chest he knew with absolute certainty that this last swallow would break the dams, spill his mind and leave it empty.

The mouth of the bottle rested against his own when he stopped at an unbidden thought. Kagome. Gods, she wouldn't leave him alone, would she? Not that this body wouldn't survive a little over-drinking, hanyou were, if nothing else, tough as shit. But, he knew if he emptied the bottle now he'd fall asleep and, tempting as that was, he was still on the lookout here. The birds hadn't looked as if they'd let the wolves get away, certainly there were more of them somewhere, and if what he'd heard Kagome tell that asshole of a first mate was true, they also had a powerful magician to back them up. And, most of the crew was out cold; they certainly weren't prepared for any kind of attack. He'd just have to stay awake through the night; there was no getting around it.

...then again, a little couldn't hurt, could it? With how sidetracked he was, he was hardly a capable lookout. Maybe it was best if he soothed himself a little, so he'd be able to focus better. That sounded about right. He poised the bottle against his lips.

O

He woke with a start, nothing out of the ordinary there, but it was because something had hit his head. He reacted instinctively, shooting up and crouching down, back to the wall. His whole body seared with pain and he squealed, almost falling flat on his face. Then, before he'd even blinked, the wall suddenly began moving, sliding sidewards, and just as he opened his eyes he saw a... sack of some kind barely miss him. But, the loud thud kicked his senses into gear and he became aware of several things at once. Rows of sacks in front of him, which looked rather familiar. The thick smell of dry rice in the air, and another, that smelled like... Ohfuckno.

His eyes hurried to the bundle of fur on the ground by the wall, then he spotted the mess of black hair poking out from it. Surely this wasn't... but there was no mistaking that smell. Ice cold panic gripped him. What the fuck happened?

...right, so he remembered hearing her cry. And sitting in the lifeboat, talking about... Mother fucking hell, had he really gone and told her that? Gods, this was why he preferred drinking alone, he got so ridiculously talkative when he was really tanked. But, he forced himself to concentrate on the problem at hand. Well... he'd been on the lookout, something like that, she'd come to bother him again, that was right, and then... ah, yeah, he'd emptied the bottle, unintentionally. Um, it got a bit hazy after that but... oh hell, he'd somehow managed to fall off the crow's nest. Which might explain why his head, arms, ribs and right leg felt like they were in the process of recovering from contusions or fractures. They were. Ouchy. ... OK, after that, he remembered lots of yelling and running about and then... only bits. Like excruciating pain stabbing even through the slime in his drunk to fucks head. Or, yelling at someone for torturing him. But, also having to stop himself from laughing several times because of his ribs. Blurry images of someone crying and him hating himself for it.

He glanced down at himself. He looked like a mummy, all kinds of cloth wrapped around him. Carefully, he lifted an arm. It hurt but he didn't think it was broken. The mast was tall and this body was a bit weaker than his own but still tough enough.

"Inuyasha?" a groggy voice came from his right. He started and flinched. About his ribs, he was not as sure, breathing was hard. Kagome sat up on her furs and peered at him through her bangs with half closed eyes. He panicked again. Gods, why couldn't he remember properly what happened!

"Are you better now?" she asked, stretching and revealing, to Inuyasha's massive relief, a body clad in several layers of clothing, the same as the day before. She got impatient when he didn't answer.

"Hello? I'm talking to you, what are you staring at?" He tore his gaze away from her but it was too late, she'd seen it, and misunderstood, of course. She blushed and covered herself in the blankets, muttering "Hentai," but he hardly noticed.

"What happened last night?" he asked instead, because no matter how he whacked his brain he couldn't piece it together.

She frowned, half sad, half mad. "You were so drunk you fell off the mast top. Gave everyone a terrible fright, well, those who were awake anyway. Kouga was this short of throwing you overboard but somehow everyone managed to convince him that you were worth keeping. It seems you've quite the fan club among the younger pirates." What the hell ever, but why did she have to look so disapproving about it? She'd been the one to tell him to go mingle.

"Then I was told to patch you up, I brought you here, you acted like I was trying to skin you, then you..." she blushed and Inuyasha panicked yet again.

"What?" he almost whined.

She gestured vaguely. "You got all... nice. Telling me... nice things. Like that I was nosy as hell but... cute."

"Wh-what the fuck?" he dropped down onto his butt.

Kagome sighed, "Look, I know you were drunk, I didn't think much of it, it was just nice." But, she was still rather reddish.

This was exactly why he preferred to drink alone. You never knew just what crap you'd go and spill if you hung around people... Although, he had to admit, if he were honest, from a neutral point of view, she was cute. Probably. Not that he was any expert on the matter. No doubts about the nosy part, though.

"Are you better now?" Kagome asked again, and this time he answered.

"'Course, hardly smarts anymore." Big fat lie, but oh, well. He couldn't come off as a total wimp if he wanted her to take him seriously again. After last night, he wouldn't put it past her, past anyone for that matter, if she didn't.

Last night, that was right, why wasn't she freaking out about it already? Where was the fear? The blind panic? Why wasn't she running away? He'd been fairly certain she would, as soon as what he said sank in. But, she was just crawled over, asked if he minded and, when he shook his head perplexedly, peeled the bandages off to look at his wrist.

This was madness. Not only didn't she seem to mind having him around, no, she came even closer and really didn't seem affected by his proximity at all. She took his wrist gently and turned it a bit.

"It really looks a lot less swollen than it did last night," she turned his palm upwards, "and the scratches are almost gone. Wow." She looked at him. "Your counterpart sure heals fast."

This would be his cue to explain how this counterpart was nothing against the real him, but he was too flustered. While she really didn't seem to mind at all, for him, having her so close after last night, after what she said he'd said, was more unnerving than usual. And, even though he was careful not to let it show, he already got a bit uneasy with her nearby under normal circumstances.

He let her pull his leg straight and unwrap that too; he was too busy not looking at her to protest. She didn't even need to put new bandages on it.

When she reached for the bandages around his torso, he finally got a grip and swatted her hands away. "No, I said I was fine, just leave it," and he got up. Best get the hell away from her, no matter how relaxed she seemed to be about everything, it might after all just be fake. And he didn't think she'd be able to keep it up much longer if he hung around. And, no matter what she really thought of him now, he wasn't up for it, no way.

So, he left the room mumbling some excuse about work to do, returning only to retrieve his shirt and jacket, which looked worse for wear, but since when did he care, and fled into the mess. That, of course, was hardly any better, because everyone poked fun at him, some even gave him shit about it, but, on the other hand, at least those were reactions he could understand. It only got really unpleasant when Kouga dropped by to berate him excessively for his lack of responsibility in front of the crew. Fuck, how he hated that pompous motherfucker with all his funny little nicknames for him. Kagome had been right, a few of the guys were indeed on his side, and they voiced tentative objections when Kouga got insulting. Tentative because it was obvious that pretty much everyone seemed to be rather afraid of the wolf, why the fuck ever Inuyasha didn't know, since he was a complete and utter wimp.

"I can still beat it, you know. As I recall, you were the one who wanted me to join you," he burst out in the end, when Kouga had just explained how it was really not very surprising that he'd knocked himself out since you couldn't expect a dog to have any sense or self restraint.

Kouga laughed haughtily. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see that. The coast is about a week's sail away, by ship. But go on, doggy, leave, why don't you?"

"I'll swim if I have to," Inuyasha snarled back, "But I'd love to see how you'll fare without me when those birds return with backup to take their revenge."

Hadn't thought of that, huh? Kouga's grin dimmed a little. Inuyasha's grew smug.

"But I'll do you the favor of staying, don't you worry your little head, Wolfie."

The crew was taken aback at his obvious disrespect, gasping and scrambling backwards when Kouga's expression grew thunderous.

"What was that!" he forced out between clenched teeth.

"You heard me alright. You bunch of losers wouldn't last a second against those freaks without me."

Kouga convulsed. What was he so worked up about, it was nothing but the truth.

"Take it back and your death will be painless," the wimpy wolf threatened.

Inuyasha kehed. "Go fuck yourself, w-" was far as Inuyasha got before Kouga toreinto him. His ribs protested but he ignored it, this was just what he needed, a little venting his frustration. Nothing like a good fight to take your mind right off... things.

He shoved the wolf off and aimed a punch at his gut but he evaded backwards, twisting and leaping up through the deck hatch. Inuyasha followed suit, latching onto his legs and hauling him onto the planks. He came up undeterred. Now this one might even pose a bit of challenge, unlike that puppy from yesterday, Inuyasha thought absently while he kicked Kouga into the railing. But, he was up faster than Inuyasha anticipated, and landed an unexpected punch right onto his jaw. Within the seconds it took for his mind to clear he received a kick in the gut that sent him crashing against the wall of the deck house. He forced himself to stay focused this time and managed to evade Kouga's full body, elbow in stomach slam, barely. He rolled to the side, sprang to his feet and raked a mean swipe with his claws across Kouga's chest to buy himself some time. The breast plate shredded with an excruciating noise. But, Kouga payed it no heed. Inuyasha had barely taken a leap back when he was onto him again, knocking him to the ground where they wrestled for the upper hand. You had to hand it to the wolf, he was fast, but his counterpart was stronger. He managed to get Kouga underneath him, keeping him down with his knees on the other's shoulders, and smashed his fists into his face repeatedly until he was thrown off. When he hit the wall again he felt his ribs give. They hadn't been healed up completely, the strain had been too much. But there was no time to whine, Kouga was charging fast. Then suddenly someone yelled "Stop it!" and a figure moved between them.

Kagome. And Kouga was too fast to stop now. Ignoring the searing pain in his chest Inuyasha grabbed her and leaped up, his feet just grazing the top of Kouga's head.

He landed and set the girl down.

"Are you completely out of your mind, woman?" he yelled when he was sure that Kouga would not attack again. He was picking himself off the wall he'd crashed into and turned to watch them, baffled.

"I could ask you that!" Kagome answered angrily, and Inuyasha took a step back at her thunderous expression. "What do you think you're doing here? You fell from the top of the mast yesterday, for gods' sake. You shouldn't even be moving!"

"Um." was his elaborate reply.

"What's this even about – no wait, don't tell me I just know I won't believe it."

Gee, she's awfully mad, isn't she?

"Get off of my back, woman, who are you, my mother? I know what I'm doing!" he snapped back, just to give some kind of retort.

"Yeah, I can see that. Must be why you're drinking on a small disk thirty feet above ground. Or why you're drinking at all!"

Fuck, she couldn't shut up about that, could she? Why did she have to keep pestering him with her little girl's ideas of alcohol consumption?

Of course, a crowd had gathered, watching him, for the second time that day, be berated, made out an utter fool in public. Now if he weren't feeling the lowest possible already he might get the idea that Karma was throwing some hints for him here to get the point across, since it couldn't go and write 'Fuck you, Inuyasha' across the sky.

"Just get off my case," he snarled, to maintain a bit of his self respect – ha ha – and stomped off. For all the fight with Kouga had proved the perfect diversion, to be continued any convenient time, if he had any say in it - fat lot of good it'd done him as soon as she'd stepped in. That girl was bad news. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose, but she regularly pushed him further over the edge than he'd been in years. He should have known, really. From the moment he'd first met her, his emotions had been rollercoastering, with a lot more sudden downward jerks than creeping up. The fact that he had any emotions to speak of was unnerving enough, since apathy was his preferred state of mind. Although, he admitted as he slammed doors behind him, he'd always sucked at the whole no-feelings-at-all concept that seemed to come so easy to some people.

Then there were no more doors to barge through and slam shut and Inuyasha noted with puzzlement that he was now standing in the rice storage room, also known as Kagome's counterpart's cabin, for lack of a better term. He just barely restrained himself from taking his frustration out on the rice sacks. What the fuck was he doing here of all places?

He turned to barge out again but the door opened and the person he was actually planning to avoid stepped in. She was crying, or rather, not far enough from doing so for Inuyasha's tastes. Her face was the essence of confusion when she saw him standing there. He wanted to storm past her and never see her again, but he wasn't halfway across the room when her lower lip started trembling. He jerked to a halt, panicking.

"I'm sorry!" he burst out before he knew what he was doing, because it was, strangely, the first thing that came to his mind.

She looked at him, frowning, with a single tear lurking on the dark feathery rim of her left eye's lashes, waiting to drop and make him feel like a bastard.

"What for?" she asked testily, bordering on angry.

"For... being not... so nice, I..." he faltered, gods, what was he doing here anyway? He didn't know what he was sorry for, but when she cried he felt like he was.

She drew up an eyebrow and the movement spilled the dreaded tear. Inuyasha looked away.

"Not so nice? That's a bit of an understatement, don't you think? I was up half of the night, patching you up and you have nothing better to do than get into a stupid fight in that condition and ruin my work. And when I point this out to you you act like I am just trying to insult you."

He felt good old anger coming on again at her righteous tone, but he restrained it for the sake of something undefined that told him to lift her mood before he went about Avoiding her, the plan B alternative to the, obviously, failed plan of Not Letting Her Get To Him.

"I, I know I overreacted, it's just, I don't like being told how stupid I am in public." In front of that asshole Kouga, no less.

She sighed, but not tearfully, so Inuyasha risked a glance. She was smiling, kind of.

"No one likes that, Inuyasha. I'm sorry too, it was unfair of me, and I overreacted too. I'm just worried, you know? And not about this mission before you think that again, but about you. You get hurt enough, don't you? You don't have to go and make it worse by... being like that."

He nodded, unsure what to respond. But she didn't seem to be sad or angry any more, so he grumbled some excuse and left the room, hurriedly. He returned after a minute, ears burning,to ask for a new patch-up job, but then, when she was done, he really set out to avoid her.

O

Try as he might, there was no avoiding her. And, he did try.

As he was officially supposed to be resting and healing, no one was keen to give him something to do, especially something high up in the rigging, where she was unlikely to turn up. But, when he went down into the mess he was greeted by that bunch of idiots who for some reason thought he was the man, or something. And, they wouldn't let him go, even when Kagome crossed the room to go who knew where, before he had sworn that he didn't really think they were a bunch of losers and that he'd only said it because he was so pissed about Kouga, not them. Which was true, they were OK guys; if a bit... slow, in some respects. But when Kagome walked past for the second time - really, was she doing this on purpose? There were tons of other ways down to the storage rooms! - he had to leave. He practically shoved the guy currently on the lookout off the crows nest, but the blissful solitude lasted only until Kouga turned up, seething, to demand what the fuck he thought he was doing, and it was just the memory of Kagome's, there she was again, worried face that kept him from starting another fight with him about it.

Next he went for the lifeboat, and that was actually all right until he heard cursing from somewhere on the deck, and then, to his horror, the smell of human blood. It turned out Kagome had had to stitch up a net they used for fishing when necessary, and had managed to scratch her palm with the thick bone needle. Of course, no-one else gave a damn, so he dragged her to the galley to get her patched up and then stitched the net up for her, which was hella fumbly but at least he managed without the self-mutilation.

Of course she had to go act like he'd done something really incredible, and be all nice about it, and before he knew what was happening they were sitting there talking about crap. Well, she was talking, telling him funny little stories from her needlework lessons at school; the teacher must have been a right nutcase. It was all right, though, until that asshole Kouga intruded. First the wolf gave him shit about doing what he distastefully called 'human work'. Then, consistency obviously wasn't for him, he shamelessly hit on the member of said species that was sitting right in front of him.

"And you," he turned on Kagome and she flinched, which Inuyasha silently disapproved of. What was there to be afraid of? He was a wimp! The wolf boy's eyes narrowed speculatively and a leer twisted his face. "Not only are you not half bad looking, you've got spunk too, woman! How ever did you manage to hide all this from me so far, huh?" he joked, and Inuyasha bristled. What was he saying! What the fuck was this about? And why wasn't Kagome saying anything, just, why oh why, blushing and looking humbly down?

"Fuck off, Wolfie!" he burst out.

Kouga immediately turned on him, tensed to fight.

"What was that?"

"Gods, what are you, a freaking answering machine? Why do you only ever have one thing to say when I'm addressing you? 'What was that?' That was me telling you to go fuck off and leave her alone!"

Kouga eyed him suspiciously. "I've been wondering before, have the two of you met before? You seem awfully close, for people who met just a day ago."

"That's your business... how?" Inuyasha snapped levelly, which probably was not such of a good idea in hindsight.

"You could, for all I know, be conspiring to start a mutiny!" Kouga hazarded suspiciously.

"Right," Kagome suddenly cut in. "of course we haven't met before, you yourself gave me the order to attend to him, and I'm sure you're aware that's kind of a full time job," she explained matter-of-factly, and Inuyasha bristled, did she have to make it sound like he was an out of control four year old?

"That's right," Kouga said a bit perplexedly. Confused, tense, and angry silence descended upon them, until a call rose from somewhere at the stern. Kouga grinned over his shoulder as he walked off, "Our puppy's a handful, I'll give you that, but I'm sure you'll manage just fine, woman." He winked and leaped to join the wolves that had called for him.

"What the fuck is this about!" Inuyasha ground out as soon as the fucker was out of ear shot.

"What do you mean?" Kagome looked at him confusedly. "I'm sorry I just made you look stupid again but I really didn't know how else to get him to stop suspecting us."

"Yeah, you had no choice but to suck up to him, I'm sure," Inuyasha bit out, getting up, the half finished net falling off his lap. "Well, I'm off."

"Where to? And what ab- oh, come on, what do you suggest I should have said instead? With someone as full of himself as Kouga you just know 'sucking up' is his lever."

"Yeah, and while you're at it, why not throw in a bit of a joke at my expense?"

"I said I was sorry Inuyasha, and I certainly didn't mean what I said then."

Yeah sure. Trouble is, he could see her point, he had been getting into a bit of a lot of trouble since they'd entered this dimension. There was no way of denying that it had been entirely his own fault that he'd fallen off the crow's nest, thus keeping Kagome from a well deserved night of undisturbed sleep, among other things... but best not go there, hadn't he actually been feeling a bit less wretched not so long ago? Like, before that asshole had popped up?

"Still, I don't get how you can be so nice to that pompous, up his-own-ass jerk! He's treating you humans like shit on the one hand and shamelessly hitting on you on the other and, well, need I say more?"

"...why is this bothering you so much anyway?"

"Keh. Nothing's bothering me, I just don't get it is all!"

"I mean I appreciate your concern," she went on, ignoring his protest, "But it's really no big deal. Miroku told us what to expect."

Inuyasha opened his mouth, then closed it. Wasn't she the one who was usually all for the righting of the wrong and crap? And this was wrong, right? Kouga had been shamelessly hitting on her. Didn't that bother her, make her feel, uneasy? And if it didn't, why would she always freak out like that when he made some harmless, innocent, not to be taken serious allusion?

Inuyasha suppressed a groan. This was exactly why he should have stuck to his plan of avoiding her. He just had no control of his train of thought with her around, it did as it pleased, bothering him with useless shit like this.

But, and this was probably what it all went down to, if she had no trouble being so nice to a dickhead like Kouga, then what good did it do him if she kept insisting she liked him? Who, after all, wanted to be liked by someone with such a totally distorted perception of reality? This meant, Inuyasha realized with a note of terror, that he had until now rather liked the idea of her liking him, insane as it was.

He watched her warily out of the corner of his eye. She was still waiting for him to respond to what she'd said, looking at him with a slight frown and fiddling with the net. Yup, alright, seeing her sit there, her attention focused on him, with this half bemused half concerned expression did make him feel kinda... good. It shouldn't have, of course, because the Kouga incident just proved that she either had awful taste in men, rather, people, or was just too plain nice to expect anyone else not to be, but the idea that there was someone who... gave a bit of a damn about him was comforting. Indeed, as he'd accused her last night, she made him feel like he mattered, and that was, even thought he knew, intellectually, it wasn't true, a damn pleasant feeling.

He could almost feel the hair on the back of his neck rise when the note of terror exploded into an overture. This was bad. It was one thing to accept the fact someone was, by general standards, a good, if annoying person, but as soon as that person started to make you feel good in her company things got complicated. Way more complicated than Inuyasha could cope with. And besides, he'd had that before, right? A girl displaying interest in him and him running head first into that trap.

He got abruptly up. So he absolutely needed to avoid her, now more than ever.

"Where are you going?" she asked, of course, when he was bracing himself for a jump to somewhere high up in the rigging.

"Away," he said levelly.

"But..." she furrowed her brow a bit helplessly, "what about the net? Could you perhaps show me how this is done before you go?" and, when he was about to shake his head and tell her off, "Please?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes resignedly. He just knew she'd try to do it by herself if he didn't and she'd end up hurt again. You only had to take one look at how large the needle looked in her tiny hands. He crouched down and took it, then gathered the net in his arms and rose again.

"I'll finish it," He motioned to the rear of the ship behind him with his head. "Just go ask for something else to do if you absolutely have to."

He was gone before she could object.

O

The next few days reminded Inuyasha acutely of those paranoia driven days back in the late sixties before he'd come to accept that pot maybe wasn't for him. He really went out of his way to avoid Kagome, but she was fucking everywhere! He wasn't granted a minute's rest, constantly on edge and ready to run for it if she turned up, which she did all of the freaking time. Granted, there where only so many places to go on a ship, even a large one like this. Still, if he didn't know better he'd have said she was following him... but did he even know better? Of course, there were the times when she was indeed looking for him, to take a look at his wounds or ask about one thing or another. He mentally whacked himself across the head for having offered her his help in the first place. But, there where other times, like the time when he'd gone into hiding in the gun deck, which was usually deserted if it wasn't in use. He'd just been beating his spotty memory for what he knew about ballistics, just in case this would come in handy later on, when suddenly Kagome came stumbling out of a door. She'd said she was lost, but really, they had been on this ship for three days by then, and it wasn't that large. Or like the time he'd joined Taro in the storage room for a nap on the furs and she came in with the brilliant excuse that she didn't have anything else to do. Or like the time he'd concluded the last place where she was likely to be, what with the way she was always running around looking for him, was her own cabin. He'd barely closed the door behind him when she came in, looking exhausted and smelling of fish, and this time she didn't even need an excuse.

Surely that couldn't be just paranoia? Well, alright, she did look more confused and sad with every fast exit he pulled, and she was probably wondering why they hadn't exchanged more than a few words during the last few days, so maybe even if she was following him, she was entitled to it. Still, it was driving him nuts!

And that fucking asshole Kouga didn't help, with his refusal to give him watch duty, because the crow's nest was the one place on the ship were Kagome was really unlikely to turn up. Not that he gave a particular damn about what Wolfie Boy said he could and couldn't do, and there was enough room for two up there, but try as he might he couldn't convince himself that keeping away from Kagome was worth having some of them pirate idiots chew his ears off about their favorite subject: the booty they'd already laid paws on and the adventurous hardships that had allowed them to. It was interesting right until you realized that they all told the same fucking story, something about stealing a crown right off some king's head, each of them, of course, claiming to have been the glorious perpetrator.

So, when she cornered him again on their sixth day aboard, it wasn't because he hadn't tried to prevent it, but he'd run out of places to hide. And, maybe trying her chamber again hadn't been the brightest of ideas, but, he'd reasoned, if he was going to have to sit around doing nothing and waiting for her to pop up and ruin his cool he might as well do it somewhere nice. Not that she had a particularly nice room there, but, yeah, it still was, somehow, nice, like, to sit around in.

"Oh thank gods I found you!" she cried when she stepped into the room and her obvious delight froze him mid desperate-leap-for-freedom-and-solitude.

"I've been looking for you all over the place, please, I really need you to help me, I'm at my wit's end," she blurted out, closing the door and leaning against it. Inuyasha stood frozen, carefully avoiding the dreadful realization that he'd missed his chance for escape because he'd been, for one second, deluded she was glad to see him and, this was where it got way beyond dreadful, had been glad to see her, too. Gods, he was in so much trouble here.

Of course she wasn't glad to see him, or rather, of course she was glad to see him, she wanted something from him.

"What?" he asked. Her smile waned at his harsh tone.

"Uhm. This is actually kind of... er, I mean, I've got it figured by now that people don't, you know, wash, on this ship. I asked the cook's wife and she looked at me like I'd spoken Vulcan. But I've been wearing the same clothes all week and I'm beginning to, gods, doesn't anyone else smell it?"

Inuyasha sniffed, straining to make it not too obvious. She smelled fine, he thought. Intrusive, impossible to ignore, doing something alarming to someplace deep inside his guts, and not exactly like roses, but fine. Of course, he wasn't going to let her know that, heaven forbid.

"There's only so much water you can take along on a boat, it gets foul too soon and what's there is for drinking and cooking," he explained instead, shrugging. "How am I supposed to help you with that?"

She blushed. "I really, really want to wash. Really. But the water's rationed, and only the cook has the keys, and washing with saltwater is a bit... besides the point, not that I didn't try. Um. The lock on the water storage room is not that big actually, and I was wondering..." her voice died in a whisper. Inuyasha understood. He burst out laughing.

"You want me to steal water for you? Oh, that's rich! After giving me hell over a bit of harmless shoplifting you're asking me to go and steal these people's water?" Yes, yes, cheered a part of him, go there, angry is so much better than dangerously confused, it is! "You're such a hypocrite, woman, you know that?" He ignored the other part of him, the one that went nooooooo at her sad and angry frown.

"I wasn't going to ask you to do that!" she snapped, "I was just hoping you could... Gods I know this isn't exactly the most legitimate thing to do, but I feel like a pig, and saltwater just makes you all raw and sticky! I was hoping you could perhaps take a look at the lock and tell me how to get inside." She looked to the side. "OK. That's not really much better, I. I'm sorry I asked I'm just a bit... tetchy at the moment," she mumbled and turned to open the door again.

"No wait," Inuyasha said, flinching at how pathetic he sounded. But 'tetchy' and a bit of something in her smell that he'd failed to identify until now had clicked into place, and oh gods."It's OK, show me that lock. I'll see what can be done."

Her grateful and embarrassed smile did something to his insides that could not be healthy and he followed her through the ship with a sense of doom. Trouble didn't even begin to describe the mess he was getting himself into here.

The lock was an easy pick and she really fetched hardly more than a large mug full. Inuyasha only half payed attention anyway, largely diverted by the ice cold hand of despair gripping his heart. He nodded absent-mindedly when she thanked him and hurried off. There was but one thing to be done in this situation, Inuyasha knew. And the lock on the liquor storage room was hardly larger than this one, he happened to know.

O

He awoke, for the second time inside this dimension, on Kagome's pile of furs and with a death wish inspiring hangover. Kagome didn't seem to be around, and he was glad for it, thankful, exhilarated. Maybe he'd be able to sneak out before she returned and just jump off the ship. What did he think he was doing?

Fragments of last night came floating back to him and he barely refrained from hitting himself, the memory of a twisted wrist returning just in time. Ohmygods he'd fallen off the rigging. No one'd heard this time, because he'd half caught himself and been up and away fast enough. Yeah, and then crawling into Kagome's room had seemed a brilliant idea, why sure, she smelled so nice it was a lot easier sleeping with her around. Never mind that he'd gotten one hell of a lecture about drinking again, sheesh, who was she, his mother? Never mind he'd gone and told her about that embarrassing episode from during the War when he'd taken in an orphaned lion kitten and how he'd left Africa in tears when it'd been shot.

Inuyasha leaped to his feet, ignoring nausea and pains. Clearly, up until now, he hadn't treated the task of avoiding the girl with the required determination. But that was going to change! He could never in his whole life face her again and not want to kill himself, so he wouldn't. No matter what anyone might say, until they were meeting up with that dickhead Kouga's father, he was going to take up residence in the rigging and not come down again. Even then he'd only hop down, knock the Captain out, take the shard, hurl it at Kagome, from very much afar, hardly eye shot, and wait for her to get them out of the dimension. Infallible!

"Oh, you're awake."

Not allowing himself a single glance Inuyasha pushed past the girl in question, who

appeared with a bowl of rice and a frown while he was distracted with his mental rant.

"Wait, Inuyasha what are you – don't you want to eat something? You were sick last night, you must be hungry!"

That's right, he'd puked his guts out, too, barely reaching the deck in time. The memory only spurred him on in his flight. With a "No thanks," he stumbled out into the corridor, and headed for the rigging immediately. Up there he sat for hours staring numbly and entertaining pleasant fantasies in which he was full youkai, that night on the docks by Tokyo had never happened, he'd never drunk himself to death, and, most of all, never met that infuriating little girl!

Normally, in such a no-way-out situation, he'd drink, but with the way it backfired last night he was, for the first time in years, more afraid to drink that to sit and face the truth of his thoughts and emotions.

It only proved what that girl was doing to him was dangerous.

He actually did manage to avoid her for the following week or so, and after less than a day she stopped whisper-calling up to him, he noted, not without contempt. Life up in the rigging was great, really, liberating, and it was almost odd how willingly the crew and even the wolfy-boy took to his never explained decision. Some of those fools who got all excited around him even brought up stuff to eat, so he really only had to hop down for the head. He knew a thing or two about sailing and large ships, having worked on the docks by Tokyo all through the late forties and early fifties, so he had no trouble keeping busy up there.

If it hadn't been for the obnoxious way the wolf boy trailed after Kagome, pestering her with the most ridiculous excuses - as if there was that much to discuss about her stupid spidey-sense, really - if it wasn't for that he might have thought things were looking up a week later. But the wolf boy seemed to be hovering near Kagome whenever she came onto the deck and fuck, who knew what was going on underneath?

The fuckhead became distracted when his father wasn't at the agreed meeting point and pestered Kagome a bit less after that, as they sailed towards where the new ship was supposed to be coming from, but Inuyasha was not fooled. So painfully obvious were his lame come ons that even Kagome recognized them for what they were, despite the mist of naiveté she peered at the world through. But did she tell him off, call him 'Hentai' in that squeaky-embarrassed voice she used on him? No! She blushed, she looked aside, disappeared with lame excuses and all other kinds of pudding-for-backbone crap!

By the end of their second week on the ship, his little fan club was decimated, he'd snapped and groused and yelled at each of them one time to many, it seemed. Surely no-one could expect him to be their little sunshine when he was forced to witness that skin-crawlery crap going on right below him every other hour or so?

But, a bit of sour fodder for his pride, that wasn't what made him come down from the rigging at last. It was the ship they came across two days after they were supposed to meet up with the Captain. The guy on the lookout had spotted it twenty minutes beforehand, sight was bad that day, and a few minutes later, they all saw it, drifting, ripped sails blowing in the wind, in a bed of wreckage. Of course, never a bunch to give away an opportunity for a bit of pillaging, the pirates decided they'd stray off course to check it out. As they got closer, it became clear that what everyone had assumed were pieces of wood and such, were in fact corpses, an easy dozen of them. Then a kind of silent scream went through the crew when they recognized the ship as the one they'd been looking for. Inuyasha pieced together as much from the similarity between the corpses and the wolf youkai around him, and explained this to Kagome when he found her, breath heaving with distress at the sight of the carnage ahead.

It was a slaughter, and there was little doubt about who might have been the slaughterers. Even if Inuyasha hadn't recognized the messy style of the birds, hacking and dismembering, the turquoise-gray feathers strewn across the blood-drenched ship were a dead give-away. A wail rose after what must have been ages of dumbfounded staring, a wail, then a howl that was echoed by the other ships that'd drawn up alongside them. As if it'd taken that sound to shake them out of their shell-shocked paralysis, the crew got into motion, jumping over to the ship and into the water, recovering the corpses and looking for hints as to how the fight might have proceeded, apart from the very obvious end. They lay the dead in a long line on the deck of the main ship, coming together and, under much pausing to howl, salvaged what was still usable off them. Kagome seemed horrified but didn't comment this time, maybe she remembered that such behavior was to be expected.

Faced with all this acute mourning and almost tangible, helpless ire Inuyasha felt useless, all in all. He wasn't one of them; it was unclear how he was supposed to react. And, contrary to what everyone else must think, he was not really well versed with pirate or youkai customs of this dimension, so really, he hardly knew what to feel. Kagome was a lot more decided, it seemed, but still they both ended up hovering awkwardly as the wolves released their fallen mates to the sea a second time. He was just hovering uselessly and Kagome was hovering trembling with fear or disgust or sympathy or anger or a mixture of these emotions.

"It's not right," Inuyasha was surprised to hear himself say, after a good hour of silence. What was that supposed to mean anyway, except, it was what it felt like. Even if the wolf pirates had attacked a ship that was being escorted by the birds, even if they had been willing to kill to get at their booty, none of that warranted this kind of gruesome massacre. If what Kagome was saying was true, and the birds were not doing this of their own accord but were pressed into servitude by some magician, then that only made it worse.

"It's not. No," Kagome agreed after a while, and they looked at each other. Suddenly Inuyasha remembered that he was avoiding her, and that this was the longest conversation they had in quite some time. But at her confused and angry frown he found he couldn't remember why.

They watched as the last corpse slipped into the sea and took the sense of grief with it. Suddenly the wolves looked tense, and gripping their weapons tighter they gathered together, looking expectantly up to Kouga, who had surveyed the ceremony of burial from atop the rear cabin.

"Father would never have attacked a fleet large and important enough to be escorted by the Gokuraku-chou alone. He is brave, but not foolish. They must have been waylaid. Attacked without provocation and, I'm sure, without a warning. Most of the weapons were still in their fastenings, and the cannons are new, none of them has been fired, even once," he explained, voice sombre and hard. "My father's body," he stepped forward and gripped the railing; "my father's body was not among the fallen. Neither is there a trace of our sister Kaname to be found. What we did find, was this," and he held up a flower, white petals stained red brown, with wolf youkai blood, no doubt. "Does anyone recognize this? You should, Han-hu," he said, in Inuyasha's direction, and at first Inuyasha didn't understand, so unexpected was it to be addressed with his counterpart's real name from the wolfy-jackass. At Inuyasha's confused silence, Kouga frowned and continued. "It's a flower from the Sheian Islands in the South, I'm sure. This is bait. They have taken father. They have taken Kaname. We will not rest until we have freed our pack mates and avenged our brothers. Set course for Port Oogami. We'll stock up before going South."

Silently, with tight grimaces on their faces, the wolf youkai set to work.

The mood on the ship, the next few days, gave Inuyasha a massive headache. It wasn't like he'd enjoyed being pestered by inanely cheerful wolf-puppies all of the time, but now that everyone seemed to be under a spell of grim efficiency he realized he hadn't terribly minded being pestered in that way, either. He wasn't spending all that much time up in the rigging anymore because, loath as he was to admit it, even silently, it was too depressing, even for him, to sway up there in the icy wind and see those helplessly determined frowns wherever he looked, on faces he'd known only to laugh and boast.

In order to not go completely bonkers, he started hanging around Kagome more, again. They weren't really talking much, except about the shard, which, since Kagome didn't feel anything, they guessed still had to be on the Captain who was hopefully still alive somewhere. But often they would work alongside each other and it was keeping the wolf away whose personal way of coping with his losses was to quadruple his persistent come on attempts, not that Inuyasha cared, beyond the fact a bit of insult throwing and almost-fighting with the wolf boy was balm for his nerves. Now, if only the woman didn't insist on behaving like it was perfectly normal to be harassed that way, and never once thanked him for getting the wimp to fuck off, then his nerves might even stay soothed, but it was no use. He was sticking close, although it did him almost physical harm to look at her and remember all the ridiculous crap he'd told her, ohgodswhy, but did she thank him? No, she was silent and almost broody and hardly smiling and ...well. He had purposefully ignored her for a full week and she had gotten whiny over less time alone, back in that fucked up dimension where she was blind.

Inuyasha gripped the net they were busy pulling out of the water tighter. Damn, he was feeling like apologizing again, and it was beginning to piss him off.

"That flower, I was meaning to tell you, Inuyasha," she said and Inuyasha almost dropped the net, startled.

"What, now?"

They heaved the net over the port railing and fish toppled onto the deck. Kagome looked up at him.

"The flower Kouga thinks the birds left as bait, I saw something like it before."

"Where?" he asked, "In this dimension?"

"H-hm." she nodded. "My counterpart, she's got a little box with, you know, personal stuff." She blushed faintly and Inuyasha wondered, personal stuff? "And there's a necklace, a chain with a silver pendant, and it looks like that flower, almost exactly."

They both looked over to the main mast, where said flower was wilting with a nail through its center.

"It even has a red stone in the middle. The real flower is red there, too." She handed him a first fish to gut. "Do you think my counterpart comes from those islands, perhaps?"

Fish guts spilled onto the planks and Inuyasha was glad to look away, at Kagome. There had been, all in all, to much blood and guts, even for his liking, in this dimension. "Dunno," he answered offhandedly. "Maybe it's just something that was given to her, or something she stole. I mean, who knows what she did before the wolf youkai took her."

"That's right." Kagome put the gutted fish into the salt keg. "We, at least, have no idea."

O

"You have got to be kidding me." Inuyasha shifted feet and glared at Kouga, who was glaring back with exasperation.

"Look, dog turd, I wouldn't dream of ordering you, of all people, to do this if I had a choice. But this is our sea. People will recognize our ships, people will recognize our faces, the military will pop up, we'll get delayed. I don't want that, but we need the information, any information we can get. All I'm asking is you row over to Port Hakume and ask around about the Sheian Islands and those rotten birds. S'not too hard, even for you, is it?"

"That fucking harbor isn't even in sight! I'll be rowing for hours. And what's making you so sure I'm not going to just leg it, once I'm ashore?"

Kouga grinned, the asshole. "Where'd you go to? You lost your ship, you lost your crew, and besides, don't go telling me you don't want to have a go at those bird freaks."

That, and this was his only reliable way to the shard. Also, it wouldn't do to leave Kagome alone on the ship, not with this pervert skulking around. Oh, wait, that's right, Kagome.

"Fine. I'll do it. But I'm taking her with me." He pointed over to where the girl was wrestling with a net and pretending not to eavesdrop.

"What? No!" Kouga drew up his eyebrows. "I know what you're thinking, doggy boy, but gifted women are walking gold, and she knows that. Even if she's human, there's no way scum like you'd ever have half a chance with her."

Inuyasha tensed and shifted position subtly, but Kouga noticed, mirroring his stance. "Oh, but I suppose she just can't wait to get it on with a mangy little wolf like you? Get real, scumbag. In your fucking dreams!"

Kouga laughed harshly. "So it's true! You are panting after her!"

"How's that any of your business, Wolfy? Afraid of a little competition?"

"In your dreams, dog-turd, in your dreams."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So forget it."

"Keh."

Kouga flicked his claws. "Do I have to make my point clearer? You're getting on that boat right now, and she'll stay here with me and if you're not down there in one second I'll fucking help you down!"

"I'd like to see you try, wolf boy, really."

Kouga drew back his fist but halted halfway. "Stop it!"

Kagome had given up eavesdropping and stormed over, her face thunderous. Inuyasha flinched. One could almost feel sorry for the bastard; he was so going to get it.

"This is outrageous!" she screamed. "You're such pigs, both of you." She glared at Inuyasha.

"What?"

"Yeah, both of you. You're arguing over me like I'm a piece of meat, while I'm standing right next to you, no less. Does it get anymore chauvinistic? You're making me sick."

"Cho-what?" Kouga squeaked. "What are you- eh?"

"Hah!" Inuyasha laughed. "Not so cute now, when that spunk's directed at you, eh?"

"Shut up!" Inuyasha fought a persistent urge to whimper. Gods, what was her problem? He'd just been trying to defend her, for fuck's sake. Kagome took several deep breaths. Inuyasha and Kouga watched anxiously. "Alright listen. About this sh- nonsense you've been arguing about," she turned to Kouga and smiled. "I would like to go off board for a while. As you may recall, there's something wrong with the water in two of our barrels. Since we don't know how long it's going to be until we next have the chance, it might be a good idea to refill here. I could do that while he is investigating," she proposed, docilely, and Inuyasha hardly had time to feel smug before Kouga leered and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"You've a point, woman, certainly. But I don't trust the dog turd, I'm sorry. He can do that by himself, with the water. You stay right here where I can see you."

Inuyasha's knuckles itched to embed themselves in that asshole's stomach. He barely restrained himself, but only because Kagome carefully but determinedly peeled off that arm. Then he almost lost it again when she cocked her head with a freaking pout and said, "Oh but I'd really like to have some solid ground under my feet again, even if only for a short while." And then she blinked and went "Please?" and Inuyasha felt the skin on his palms give when his fists clenched. So it was an outrage for him to defend her but alright for her to, to whore herself out like that! That wolf was going to get it. If not now, then later.

Kouga blushed and sighed. "Oh alright. Whatever. Go with him," and, turning to Inuyasha whose claws were slowly reddening, "But I hear one word about you misbehaving and I don't care how much of an asset to my crew you might be, you're dead." He stomped off.

Some guys lowered a lifeboat into the water with them and two large barrels inside and Inuyasha rowed off at the speed of light.

"What the hell is your problem?" Kagome asked, after an hour or so had passed to the sound of Inuyasha pulling the oars through the water with the brute force of anger. Gods but he was mad! Just, it wasn't only her he was mad at, but also himself. What did he think he was doing getting all riled up about that stinking wolf lusting after her? Whatever happened to apathy? He wanted a drink, no, ten. It didn't help in any way that his ears were squashed under a hat he was forced to wear so people wouldn't get suspicious.

"Nothing's my problem. What's your problem? The way you're sucking up to that asshole you're only encouraging him. Don't you see that?"

She blushed furiously. "There was no other way! I wanted off that stupid boat, I want a proper bath, I want to eat some fruit again. I wanted to get away."

Inuyasha growled, growing inexplicably madder at her whiny words.

"I... I didn't want you to leave me alone," Kagome mumbled, and Inuyasha's anger, not exactly evaporated, but the oars were no longer in imminent danger of snapping in two, at least.

"I didn't want to leave you alone there, either," he said, and bit his tongue. Damn that girl and his compulsion to say dumb stuff to cheer her up. She smiled. Inuyasha's guts twisted. This was going to be one long merry little boat ride.

They argued again, after landing someplace close enough to the seaside city that was their destination. Kagome insisted that he should go on alone while she filled the barrels, but Inuyasha was having none of that nonsense. Even when it became clear that she really just wanted to wash herself in the river in peace.

"Look, woman. You wanted to take a real bath, right?" and he pulled some doubloons from his pocket. "They're not expecting us back before tomorrow, so we'll check into an inn, you'll get your stupid bath, I get my- I'll do the investigation, alright?"

"Where'd you get those?" she asked, typically unable to just accept something convenient without nagging. Inuyasha sighed.

"Wolf boy gave them to me," and at her drawn up eyebrows, "No, of course not. I took them some time ago, from the storage room. Oh, come on. Don't give me that look. It's booty. It's stolen anyway. What's wrong with stealing from the thief? No, don't answer. Just get going."

She smiled. Whatever.

The city turned out to be fucking huge and exactly the cultural potpourri Inuyasha expected from the crossover style of the pirates' ships. There was definitely a flair that reminded him of what he recalled of 1920s Tokyo, but also an air of something Portuguese, somehow, and a bit, of course, out of every pirate film he'd ever seen. While Port Oogami, which had turned out to be something of a home base to the youkai pirates, had been blanketed in snow, Port Hakume was just wetly cold, but not freezing, a thing which Inuyasha was not completely unthankful for. His counterpart's feet were apparently not as numb to the cold as the wolves', and there wasn't a single pair of shoes to be found on the whole ship, apart from tiny silk slippers, of which there was a startling abundance in a box somewhere.

They checked into an inn at the dockside, and, as Kagome almost danced to the baths, Inuyasha almost sprinted to the bar, which was promisingly packed with men of the maritime persuasion. Of course, in order to mingle and investigate, it was imperative that he order a few drinks, for whoever he talked to, and for himself. Leave it to Kagome to totally not get that. She came down what must have been several hours later, swaying a bit from bathing so long, smelling fresh but scowling fiercely. And he was hardly even drunk at all, plus, he'd found out loads.

"S'not on the main island, where the birds are," he explained, eager to divert Kagome, pulling out a chair for her to sit on, "but on the one with the volcano. Talk about a cliché evil overlord volcanic lair."

Something like a smile flickered over her face too fast to be sure, then the scowl was back and she sat down. "'nything else?"

" Most of those guys are scared shitless of the birds. They all say how the birds are doing them a great service, and how it's so much safer to travel, but you can see it in their faces, they're afraid. Not that I blame them, those things are wicked."

"Whoever stands behind 'em is, that's for sure. I wish you coulda felt what I felt that day. 's madness."

Inuyasha grumbled noncommittally. Now that she was all bathed and rosy cheeked, Kagome attracted quite a few interested glances. Inuyasha felt his patience slip, especially with that fellow standing at the bar, who looked just about ready to walk over. There was but one logical thing to do. Inuyasha grabbed the carafe of wine and the trouble magnet girl and stomped up to the room they'd rented.

"What wasat about? What's your problem now, dammit?" Kagome groused, but Inuyasha didn't feel like answering. He didn't actually much feel like asking himself that question. So he slunk down onto his futon and turned his back to her, praying for a sudden loss of consciousness.

"'m talkin' t'you, damnit!" She crawled up and pulled at his shoulder.

"Tough, I'm not talking to you,." he snapped back, feeling wretched when her hand flopped off and she sighed. "T'was no place for a woman to hang around, down there," he explained.

She snickered. What the hell? "You. You're really a bit ofa chauv'nist, you know? 'r maybe just old-fashioned." He turned around to glare incredulously, but yeah, she was grinning.

"M'not," he protested, half-heartedly. Not like he gave much of a damn about whether he was.

"Yes y'are, with all that talk 'bout protection, and bein' all possessessive and stuff," she giggled.

He sat half up and looked at her properly, taking in the still rosy cheeks, the mussed hair and the glassy eyes. "Are you drunk?" he blurted out. What the hell?

She frowned. "Dunno. They were handin' out these funny lil' drinks in the baths, but I thought it was jus' fruit juice."

"Oh shit."

"Nah," she wobbled her hand soothingly. "S'alright. I can kinda understand why you're doing it aller the time. S'like everything's packed in cold jelly, and veeeery far away. I can think of my mama, just like that, and she's so jellily and far away that-" her face scrunched up, "that it doesn't mahahatter...ah," she hiccuped, and Inuyasha lunged for the wine. She was crying and he was not drunk enough to cope. This was going to be a long night.

O

Inuyasha woke, assessed the situation quickly, almost threw up from panic, and then set out to carefully, carefully extract his face from between two small but warm and thankfully clothed breasts. He had almost completely untangled their legs when Kagome stirred. Inuyasha froze. She opened her red and bleary eyes, and groaned throatily.

"Who are you?" she whispered, but then she snorted. "Gods, what the hell was in those drinks? I mean I only had three and-oh, gods." She rose abruptly and threw her arms about, eyes still closed. "Give me a bucket or something Ohgods, ohgods."

Not in the best of shape himself, he was several seconds too late, but convinced Kagome that they could just leave it like that and get the hell back to the ship. He paced up and down in front of the baths she insisted on visiting a second time, browsing through his memories of last night but finding, thank the gods, nothing out of the ordinary. Much crying on Kagome's part, much helpless back-patting on his. Rather a lot of very scatterbrained conversations, jumping from mothers being very great beings indeed to why fish-guts were like, ew, to whether or not cats were better than dogs. OK, that part was borderline suicide prompting but she probably didn't remember, and then to… Oh fuck. Please don't let her remember that part.

"Your eyes," she'd slurred, leaning in wobbly, "Did I tell you they're a diffrent color each?"

For some reason, maybe all that talk about dogs which was a tetchy subject to him, this made him really angry. "That's jusso typical!" he'd cried, "I mean, have ya noticed? If y'ask me, what they've been sayin' 'bout how the coun'erparts can turn out all kindsa diff'rent ways is total bullshit, s'wat it is. It's all prete, predestined. Like, my soul's just condemned t'be a complete monstrous freak, justas yours always turns out fucking beautiful, and someone dare go 'n tell me that's not fucking unfair!"

There'd been horrible, endless seconds of silence, during which they competed about who could turn the nicest cherry red the quickest, then Kagome smiled tentatively and said, "I's going to say it looks really cool." She passed out a little later, and it wasn't until then that Inuyasha could breathe again.

Now he wanted to whack his head against the wall but there was something unholy thrumming in his brain and he thought better of it, no matter how much in need of a bit of self mutilation he obviously was. Kagome stepped out of the bath and as they went down to have breakfast and payed for the room and walked back to the boat and filled the keg with spring water and shoved the boat into the sea and got on and rowed towards the ships, Inuyasha observed Kagome closely for any sign that she might recall last night's events, but apart from a few groans and huffing she was very quiet, which might or might not have been a good thing.

It was a good thing Kouga could be trusted to make a scene when they arrived back, because all that anxiety wound up every single nerve in Inuyasha's borrowed body ready to burst. He hardly listened to what the idiot said, something about staying too long, understandably, something about how she smelled, certainly, something about how he smelled, probably, something about killing him, that's what he was waiting for. Heedless of Kagome's cries of protest he threw himself onto the wolf and they rolled over the deck, clawing and punching, making the crew scatter aside like headless chickens. By the time Kagome jumped in between and they were pried apart by a braver bunch of pirate youkai, Inuyasha felt refreshed and relaxed, if a bit sore. Idiot wimp and all, that wolf threw a mean left hook.

"Nothing happened, dammit!" Kagome yelled at Kouga, "Calm down!" Inuyasha snickered when Kouga's tail disappeared between his legs. "And you!" Kagome turned on him, eyes aflame, and Inuyasha was glad he didn't have a tail, "You know nothing happened! Why didn't you just explain that? Why do you always have to punch before you talk?" She threw up her arms in exasperation. "I'm so sick of your stupid testosterone fueled brawls. It's ridiculous. Grow up. Leave me alone, I've a headache." She stomped off.

At least, Inuyasha thought, picking himself off the deck playing the 'Your fault' – 'No, your fault' game with Kouga, there was no mention of the dreadful things he'd babbled about last night. But, somehow, seeing the wolf youkai flinch every time the crack of a door being slammed sounded from the belly of the ship, that was not much of a consolation. Seeing Kouga skulk away, tail trembling, was, though. It did something remarkable to parts of him to see how Kagome seemed to have lost that stupid, hackle raising timidity when it came to the wolf. Although that might just as well have been the hangover speaking. Now, where'd she run off to, anyway?

He was lucky, damn lucky, she was in such an unbearable mood that he gave up hanging around her long before sundown and went brooding between the water barrels, because that night he was quite painfully reminded that this body, like his own, was only half youkai. The monthly evil; for his counterpart here, it came a few days after half-moon, best keep it in mind. Who knew how long they'd have to run around in this dimension, after all. He spent the night between the gently sloshing water barrels, hating his life, hating demon parents who were so stupid as to have children with humans, and most of all hating that sulky girl somewhere up there, for making him think that maybe he would have been able to sleep if she'd been around.

O

Halfway through the following week, and two thirds, if the pirates could be trusted, of their way to the Sheian Islands, the weather changed from windy to worse. Inuyasha woke to the sound of hurried scurrying, and found, when he got up to see, the ship in anxious excitement, taking down sails and lashing everything to the deck that could not be brought inside. The lee sky was the color of lead, blotched with mean purple. "It's one of the fast ones," he was curtly enlightened, when he asked why they hadn't foreseen this tempest. "You should know, these are your former waters after all." At which he babbled about know-it-all brats and went looking for Kagome.

She was in the galley, helping with breakfast and smiling when he came in. He told her about the storm but she knew already, and did not seem too worried, which began to get on Inuyasha's nerves after a while, so he beat it. He trailed about the ship but apparently there wasn't much to be done, except hoisting the storm sails and hoping for the best. When the edge of the storm hit them it looked like they hadn't hoped insistently enough. The worried expressions on the faces of experienced sailors told him as much. That, and he lost his balance about a million times on his way to Kagome's rice-cabin. She was inside, huddled in the blankets and not so cheerful now. In fact, when he sat down on the deck with a grunt of greeting, he saw that she was more than a little pale around the nose.

"Seasick?" he asked, almost managing to make it sound unconcerned, mocking.

She nodded, weakly. "The normal swaying I got used to after a while, but this..."

He shrugged. "Don't close your eyes and maybe if you look out the port? It always helps me to look at something far away, the horizon, at best."

She groaned faintly. "Nah, it's OK as long as I absolutely don't move." Then she frowned quizzically. "Have you been traveling by boat before? Because what you just said-"

"Yeah," he nodded, easing down onto his back to look at the ceiling. "I worked on a ship after I was in America, 'cause I was completely skint and, well, I didn't really know where to go next. It was a freaking enormous freighter that shipped cars from Asia to America and back. S'where I met that guy, did I tell you, who I knew in Germany? He was doing some weird ass work and travel stuff, but had gotten into a bit of, you know, trouble with drugs, and really wanted to go home but couldn't fly, of course. I don't think any of the workers on that ship were licensed, so it was a good way to get out of the country, if you were outlawed anyway. And since he was so eager to get there, I got curious about Germany and tagged along. We traveled across the whole of Asia, and Europe, hitchhiking, going by foot, that kind of stuff."

"Wow." He looked at Kagome and she laughed silently. "That's what I always wanted to do after school, sometime. Travel around the world. Pops always said he'd take me."

"Well, why not. Once we've got this shard business cleared, he can still do that, right?" he said, because she sounded so wistful.

"He died when I was seven."

"Shit."

She laughed again. "Well. I've got my mum. Not that I don't miss him, but... And Souta. Sometimes... You know, he was born after Pops died, and sometimes I wonder, is it better that way, because that way he won't miss him, or worse, because he never knew him?"

"Worse."

She turned around to face him. "You sound awfully sure of that."

"It's like that for me. My father died when I was born. And when I was younger I used to hate never having known him. I also hated my brother, because he had."

"You have a brother?"

"Half. He's full youkai."

"Oh. What's he like?"

"I don't know, really. I only saw him a few times when I was little. I haven't seen him since I awoke again. Dunno if he's still alive, but he's tough, maybe he is." She tensed when he mentioned the ban, but Inuyasha really didn't want to talk about that, so he barged on, "But your brother's not alone, right? He's got you, and your mum, and, who was that, your grandfather? He'll be fine. It's not like you really need a father to grow up. I didn't."

Kagome smiled. "Thank you."

"Whatever."

The ship lurched harder, and Kagome squealed, then they lay in silence for a while.

"What about your mother, then?" she asked suddenly, and Inuyasha cursed himself for not having ended the conversation before they strayed into personal subjects. "I mean, from what I remember of that crazy night at the inn, you seemed awfully fond of her."

Inuyasha's stomach churned, and not from the swell. Oh fuck. If she remembered that, did she also remember that other part? "She died when I was four. Natural causes, it was said. Dunno 'bout that. I think she never really got over the old man dying on her," he answered, suddenly willing to tell he the most intimate stories from his childhood if only she wouldn't remember, oh fuck.

"And what was she like?"

He looked briefly over to her, then to the ceiling again. "Dunno. A mum, you know?" You remind me of her. I'll have to kill myself the day you find out.

"I can imagine." He could hear her smile.

They talked like that, as the storm waged, lazy conversation drifting here and there, but nowhere Inuyasha felt really uncomfortable with (apart from the fact that when she laughed at something he said he felt very dumb.) The light went out after a while but neither felt like relighting it.

Inuyasha woke to a loud bang. He glanced around in the almost darkness dizzily for a while, starting when another bang came. It was the door to the room, it was open and swinging with the movements of the ship, which had, while Inuyasha was asleep, gotten a lot more forceful.

"You alright there?" He asked the fur-heap, remembering Kagome's seasickness. She didn't answer, probably still asleep, too. He lay down, breathing out. Suddenly he sprang into the air, cursing. The open door and the too silent room; she'd gone outside, the stupid girl!

He hit the wall opposite the room, so fast did he sprint out. At the slightest inclination of the handle, the door to the deck burst open, and he was immediately completely drenched. He pressed outside, against the wind, peering into the darkness and holding on tight to the door frame. The storm had definitely gotten worse. Hardly any sails were up anymore, whether on purpose or ripped off he could only guess. And there was no one an deck, although Inuyasha entertained the buccaneerish idea that the helmsman was still active, dramatically bound to the wheel. But, where was Kagome?

"Inuyasha?" came her voice, but from behind him. He turned abruptly, too abruptly. When the ship gave another mighty lurch, his hands slipped off the door frame and he only barely saw Kagome, standing in the corridor looking petrified, before he slid away over the wet deck.

"Inuyasha!"

He threw out his arms for anything to hold on to, but found nothing, at first. His neck cricked when he was thrown over his own back, and it was sheer luck the claws of his right hand caught in an unevenness in the deck. He jammed his hands through the planks, ignoring the splinters and catching his breath.

"Inuyasha!" Through the sheets of water obscuring his view he thought he saw Kagome's head in the door.

"NO!" he screamed, hoping his voice would carry against the wind, "Stay inside!"

It hadn't. She came further out and was flung away when another mighty lurch threw the ship the other way 'round. Inuyasha ripped his claws out of the deck and slid after her, hitting the opposite railing milliseconds after she was thrown over it. Her scream faded in the dark gray. Inuyasha didn't think. He jumped.

There was no up, no down, just water, water everywhere, crashing down on him with the weight of elephants and catapulting him up in too quick succession. He was thrown against the ship and held on with his claws, taking a breath, abruptly interrupted by another wave, and stared and stared and stared, coughing. Another scream, then a flash of something lighter, not so far to his left. He lunged, putting the whole of his hanyou strength into it. His knee collided with her head, and she was out cold, which, Inuyasha thought as he grabbed her, was probably a good thing. He could barely make out the shape of the ship disappearing into the dark. It was too bad that swimming was not one of his strengths. It had to be, now. A wave, higher than a house, threw them upwards and then pulled them under. Inuyasha swam on, legs kicking at lightning-speed and free arm heaving mightily. His back felt near snapping when they were thrown against the rudder, but Inuyasha payed it no heed. He held on. Kagome stirred in his arms, then coughed. Inch by inch he pulled them upwards, through several close calls when the rudder flapped around, until they were under a lifeboat. He threw her up into it and followed, grabbing her again and swinging them both up onto the roof of the deck house. His claws dug into the railing as she coughed up dark water. There was indeed someone at the wheel, but he hadn't noticed them and since it was the fucking wolf Inuyasha was glad of it. The ship swayed but he'd be damned if he let her out of his grasp before they were safe inside. He dragged them along the railing, crouching low and holding tight every time another wave threw the ship around, and got them past the yelling wolf-wimp and into the cabin in a feat of the strength he thought would leave him, every second of the way. It didn't.

He laid her down gently on the furs, but didn't let go, couldn't let go, who knew what she'd get up to if he did?

"Inuyasha?" she asked weakly, and he drew away a bit to look at her. There was blood on her face from a gash at the brow, and she reeked faintly of sick. So, that was why she'd gone. But, that was no excuse for why she'd gone after him outside, in the middle of a freaking storm! Gods, this girl, she was driving him mad! How could anyone be that stupidly reckless? What did he matter, compared to her safety? Fuck, she was so stupid! Such a foolish little girl, such a, such a dumb fuck!

It made, therefore, absolutely no sense that instead of telling her all that and more, he bent forward and kissed her, full on her puke soured lips.

OO

O

OO

A.N.: Ages, and then some, I know, and feel the according shame and guilt. But, you know, RL, HP, and stuff. Also, moo-ha-ha-ha, about that mean cliffhanger. I'll try and be a good little geek and pull that next chapter out of my head soon, promise.