A/N-This story operates on the condition that it is accepted that at the end of the Ankoku Bujutsukai, Suzuki does not give away Shishiwakamaru's sword, the Tameshi no Ken (Sword of Trials, known as the Makokumeizan or Wailing Vorpal sword while in Shishiwakamaru's possession.), to Kuwabara. Yeah…
Charries are not mine.
On to the story!
Shishiwakamaru stared somewhat mournfully and somewhat angrily at the hilt of the inactivated Tameshi no Ken which lay on his futon. He was recalling the form it took in his hands – the hideous, murderous weapon they had dubbed the Makokumeizan Ken. It was no sword for a proper, honorable samurai. And that implied that Shishiwakamaru was not, in fact, a proper, honorable samurai.
This was disconcerting for many reasons. Shishiwakamaru had spent much of his life training to be a samurai, taking his lessons in gulps. He had been an eager student, frequently to eager in the eyes of his master. Because of this, it seemed that, though he knew in his head the moral requirements of his position, he had not kept faithful to them in his heart.
The next reason was that it was simply ugly, disgusting, wretched, foul. If the Tameshi no Ken was to be believed (and it was, this was a well-known fact), then the very same adjectives could be applied to Shishiwakamaru himself.
The final reason (or the final one that mattered – there were others, but they were primarily irrelevant) was that Shishiwakamaru had mysteriously found himself attracted to the quiet, charming ice-master, Touya. This was actually not so surprising, considering Touya was likely to be the only sane person in the group.
There were two reasons why this attraction had anything to do with the Tameshi no Ken's form in Shishiwakamaru's hands. The first was the belief that Shishiwakamaru held that, should Touya grasp the sword, it would turn into something pure and beautiful. Most of the others would agree with him on this. The other reason was that Touya had seen the Makokumeizan ken, and he knew what it meant, as they all did. Surely Touya would never be interested in someone's who's soul apparently looked like that!
Shishiwakamaru sighed and sat down on the futon, scooping up the Tameshi no ken and activating it, vaguely hoping it would have improved since the last time he'd held it – ever since the Ankoku Bujutsukai, he'd worked to improve himself and make the sword form something less… wretched. He'd had a slight bit of success, but for once in his life, Shishiwakamaru had found something that he would have to work hard at to reach his goals.
When an only slightly modified version of the Makokumeizan ken greeted him, he glared at it and tossed it aside again angrily. After a moment, it returned to the passive state of the bladeless Tameshi no Ken.
He rested his elbows on his knees and let his hands support his face, hunched over, as he recalled the first time he'd used the Tameshi no Ken.
"Here, Shishi-san. I've a new weapon for you to practice with, to use for the Ankoku Bujutsukai. Oh, she's a lovely piece of work, I tell you!" Suzuki said, grinning proudly as he offered Shishiwakamaru the Tameshi no Ken.
Shishiwakamaru had stared in surprise and doubt at the plain-looking hilt that Suzuki offered him. "How am I to use a hilt in combat, may I ask you?"
Suzuki scowled. "This is no simple hilt! It is the Tameshi no Ken! A sword which creates it's blade to best match it's user's personality!"
Shishiwakamaru's eyes widened slightly. "Truly?"
"Truly!" Suzuki had said with a grin.
Shishiwakamaru snatched the Tameshi no Ken from Suzuki's hand, intrigued and wildly curious what it would look like.
"Now give it a little of your youki to activate it…" Suzuki had prompted, crossing his arms and waiting with interest.
Shishiwakamaru smiled and did so… and dropped the sword as it began to form what they would later dub the "Makokumeizan ken."
Shishiwakamaru glared at Suzuki, who had paled, but then burst out laughing at Shishiwakamaru's glare. "You lie! Take back your tricks!" Shishiwakamaru kicked the Tameshi no Ken back at Suzuki, who scooped it up indignantly.
"I did no such thing! That sword is the reflection of your soul, and don't you treat it with such disrespect!" Suzuki's face broke into a wide grin. "I guess Shishiwakamaru isn't as pretty on the inside as he is on the outside!" he joked, at which point Shishiwakamaru adopted his much less attractive, part-demon form, gaining horns, claws, fangs and the like, but retained his size.
This transformation having taken place, Shishiwakamaru proceeded to jump on Suzuki and maul him in rather imaginative ways, until the others of team Uraotogi ((SP?)) had pulled them apart.
Shishiwakamaru laughed rather embarrassedly at the memory. Eventually he had realized Suzuki was telling the truth, and his training with the Makokumeizan ken had been indignant, though he always did train, knowing how foolish it would be not to utilize the powers, and to walk into battle with no awareness how to use such a weapon.
Quite suddenly, he wondered if he was right about what Touya's sword would look like, if he were to activate the Tameshi no Ken. He stood and picked up the discarded weapon, heading downstairs to the living room, where the others reclined as per their fashion – Jin, Chuu and Rinku were playing some sort of game and Chuu was, as usual, drinking. Suzuki was sitting off to the side, browsing through books and doing something else, though lord only knew what, and Touya was more or less literally curled up in his favorite armchair (go figure) reading a small, paperback book.
"Afternoon, Shishi-san!" Jin greeted as cheerily as ever.
Rinku glanced up and waved too. "Watcha' doin' with the Tameshi no ken, Shishi? You haven't taken that out in a LONG time!" he asked.
Shishiwakamaru inwardly sighed with relief – he'd been saved of finding someway to bring it to attention. "I was actually wondering what it would look like for the rest of you. You already know basically what it looks like for me, though it's changed some since the Ankoku Bujutsukai, but…"
Jin and Rinku jumped up excitedly. "Yeah, I wanna' know!" they both said, offering their hands.
Shishiwakamaru handed it to Jin first, grinning. "Just activate it with a touch of youki, and let me get out of the way!" Shishiwakamaru said, stepping aside.
Jin's face was covered with a grin, as he activated the Tameshi no Ken, and formed a Katana that shone slightly and was circled by a breeze, which they suspected would move faster in times of battle. Gaelic runes were inscribed along the sides for protection, cheer, and wealth. "Ooh, lookit the pretty signs!" Jin said, running a finger over them. The hilt itself had changed to the colors of the Irish flag, which Jin recognized happily. "That's me alright, Irish through and through!" he laughed.
Touya laughed softly, having looked up from his book to see Jin's version of the Tameshi no Ken.
"C'mere, Touya! You should try it!" Jin said.
Touya shook his head. "It's Rinku's turn, after all. How could I live with myself if I denied him his chance?" he pointed out. Shishiwakamaru hoped he would accept it after Rinku.
Jin laughed, looking embarrassed, and handed it to Rinku, who was in fact pouting slightly at being overlooked. "Sorry, lad!"
Rinku took it with similar eagerness. After a moment, the sword reformed, and looked like a child's plaything, with colorful flourishes and a whimsical, curved blade. Rinku giggled. "Cool!" he said, slashing at the air for fun.
"Lemme try, Rinku," Chuu said, struggling to his feet and taking the sword. He reactivated it, and sword took on an oddly erotic shape, and suddenly everyone in the room felt warm and rather intoxicated.
After a moment, Suzuki, blissfully drunk, said, "Well this is an interesting effect…"
Rinku and Jin laughed and agreed.
Chuu looked at the others in turn, confused. "What'? It's in the shape of a penis… 'Nuthin' too interestin' 'bout that…"
The others, even Shishiwakamaru and Touya, burst into laughter/giggles, at Chuu's blatant statement of the shape of his 'weapon,' and his utter lack of understanding the other effects of his sword.
Once they'd all calmed down, Shishiwakamaru retrieved the Tameshi no Ken, carefully deactivating it. "Touya, why don't you take it?" He asked, carefully keeping his voice neutral.
"If it's all the same, I'd rather not," Touya murmured, glancing at the hilt then returning to his book.
Jin pouted and zoomed over by Touya. "C'mon, Toy! It'll be fun!" he said, poking Touya's shoulder.
Touya sighed. "Please, Jin, you remember what I used to be like."
Jin flinched, but recovered quickly. "Yeah, but yeh're not like tha' ana'more. Yeh're better now, yeh got yer honor and what-all back!" Jin said.
To this point, the others were all confused and watched quietly. They had only the basest idea of Touya before they knew him, consisting mostly of the fact that he was not always the charming, collected person they knew, and that some time before, he'd been quite violent. It was something they all knew, yet never paid heed to, except on the occasion that Touya ran off in one of his… rages.
"But it comes back, Jin…. I don't want the sword to show anything like that," Touya said, looking down trodden.
"It won', and even if it does, it won't matter none! We're all friends. Hell, even knowing what Shishiwakamaru's Makokumeizan Ken looks like, we're all still friends with him. Yeh can hardly look much worse than that!" Jin joked with an easy grin.
Shishiwakamaru scowled, his free hand fisting, as he looked down rather shamefully. He didn't have many tender spots, but that was one. "Thanks ever so, Jin," he said dryly.
Touya grinned slowly. "I suppose you're right. I can't do much worse than the Makokumeizan Ken, can I?"
Shishiwakamaru glared at Touya halfheartedly and tossed him the Tameshi no Ken.
Touya stood and caught it with a soft laugh, then sighed and activated it. For him, the sword formed slightly more slowly that the others, for whom it appeared almost instantaneously. A tiny, intense-looking fire raced to the tip, leaving a black, shadow-like blade in its wake. An ember formed just above the hilt, and a shattering sound was heard as ice raced over the black sword. Touya's eyes widened – he could feel the thing humming, pulsating, in his hand. He dropped it.
"I knew it would be no good. Damn it, that thing's explosive!" he growled, looking angry with himself. He shook his head. "I have to go…" he murmured and walked out of the room in something of a hurry.
The others stared in confusion as he left, then looked at the Tameshi no Ken, which returned to it's ordinary form as slowly as it had transformed for Touya. Jin picked it up and handed it to Shishiwakamaru. "I should'en'a convinced 'him ta' do it… I knew what 'he was like. I should go talk to 'him…" Jin did not appear thrilled with the idea, and began following irresolutely.
"No, Jin, Let me talk to him. You don't know what it's like to discover the reflection of yourself is.. not pleasing. I do. And I was the one who wanted everyone to take it," Shishiwakamaru said, following Touya more rapidly than Jin, who nodded with rather obvious relief.
Shishiwakamaru caught up with Touya in the courtyard, just before Touya was about to go into the forest. He grabbed his arm, "Wait."
Touya turned, looking resigned. "What?" he said simply.
Shishiwakamaru was slightly taken aback – Touya was usually more polite! Still… "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to get everyone to take the Tameshi no Ken. It was just prying on my part."
Touya sighed. "I should have refused."
"But it wasn't even bad! Look at mine!" Shishiwakamaru hastily activated the Tameshi no Ken, revealing the Makokumeizan Ken. "See? I'm the one who's.. who's.. ugly. Your sword is elegant, mine is.. disgusting." Shishiwakamaru glared at the sword again, and tossed it to the ground.
"My sword is shadow, covered in ice, and explosive. Just like me. Don't you see? Even if it is not ugly, it's… empty, cold, dangerous."
"You're not empty. You're not cold. You're not dangerous," Shishiwakamaru said.
Touya laughed hollowly. "You haven't the faintest idea who you are talking to, do you?"
Shishiwakamaru sighed. "Maybe not. But… I'd like to know."
Touya stopped laughing and appeared shocked. "Are you sure? Even Jin doesn't know much about me before I joined the Shinobi. If you're smart you'll walk away and never ask again."
"Maybe I'm not smart. But judging by the state of things, I think you need someone to talk to. And if it's not Jin… Then, I'd like it to be… me," Shishiwakamaru said, uncharacteristically shy.
Touya stared at him another few moments, then nodded with a small smile. "I see. I think the Tameshi no Ken is wrong for you. I think you've changed more than what it registers, since the Ankoku Bujutsukai." Touya walked away with these words, and Shishiwakamaru felt his heart swell in his chest. Just then, when he picked up the Tameshi no Ken, it became a normal katana, with symbols for peace and protection on it.
It was a very good day for Shishiwakamaru.