A/N: Before anyone bitches keep inmind that this was written at 1:00 in the morning under the influence of ice-cream and hot-dogs (Something I don't recomend!). Also, I hate Lana.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Smallville! I would, but I don't!
Second A/N: I just want to make it clear: I like the show! But I couldn't resist doing the song! And, again, I hate Lana!
Dude where are my shirts?
Somebody save me
I'm watching Smallville
Somebody save me
This is a waste of time
Just kill
Kill
Me
I don't care how you do it...
------Clark Kent woke up abruptly that morning. Cold sweat drops dripping down his muscular chest, that glistened with warn moister. He was panting heavily exalting his perfect abs...Um, anyway, he woke up with a sinking feeling, deep inside. Something was missing.
"Clark, what's wrong?" Martha Kent asked as she rushes in the room. Her maternal instinct telling her something was wrong.
"I feel like something's missing." Clark jumped out of bed and quickly opened his closet. Like he have feared. All of his shirts were gone. Every flannel atrocity. There was absolutely nothing to wear above his chest. Not even jackets! Something was up. And if was up to him to find out. Even if that meant he would have to walk around shirtless for the rest of the day. YAY!
------Lana Lang was taking out the trash behind the Talon when she was caught, yet again my I add, in another life threatening situation. "Oh my! These meteor-rock-controlled cats are going to kill me! Help! Oh help! I'm stupid enough to fall in these traps all the time!"
So, as per usual, Clark super-speeds in and saves her.
"Lana..."
"Clark..."
"Lana..."
"Clark..."
"Lana..."
"Clark..."
About an hour of this the cats ran away and/or killed themselves, as one is normally incline to do when they have to suffer trough this ordeal. Eventually the two go inside the Talon. Clark explains his situation to Lana, as she changes her mind, yet again my I add, about her relationship with Clark.
"So, that's why I'm shirtless."
"Clark, I don't think we should date each other anymore." Lana said firmly.
"We're not dating." Clark said confuse.
"So we should get back together? Great!"
"What?"
"Just friends! We're just friends Clark!"
"I'm not talking about us! People are sick of it! Let it go!" Clark yelled at the moron.
"But, that's all my character does! Pine for you!" Lana pleaded as she slap Clark, then kissed him, then cried for him, then hug him, then pushed him away.
"For God sakes! Make up you're mind about me!" Clark demanded as he paces around angry. His muscular body being exalted even more by his anger.
"Fine. I'll just do my tattoo story-line." Lana said turning around.
"You got a tattoo!" Clark said as Jor-El's symbol appeared in his chest.
"So do you dude!" Lana said, but before this scene headed for that stupid joke, Chloe walk in, looking great and smart as usual.
"What's going on here?" Chloe asked afraid she was going to be suck in a Clark/Lana angst fest.
"I lost all my shirts!" Clark explained, relieved that he could talk to someone with a brain.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to live with seeing you half naked all the time." Chloe said dreamily. "Not much different from normal anyway."
"Chloe..." Lana began. "Me and Clark... were... talking"
"Um... yes... I saw you." Chloe said unsure why Lana looked so upset.
"I didn't mean to hide it from you!" Lana began to cry.
"O...k." Chloe said as she and Clark back away from the little psycho.
"Chloe," Clark began when they were at a safe distant from Lana. "I need to solve this. Where can my shirts be?"
"Hmm, good question, Smallville." Lois Lane said as she walked in.
"Lois!" Chloe said startled by her cousin's entrance. "What are you doing here?"
"Taking you're place mostly." Lois said as she walked to Clark.
"And last not forget to make stupid Superman jokes." Clark reminded her.
"I'm not into farm boys. Give me a nerdy guy with glasses any day." Lois said. Get it? Because Clark's going to be the guy with nerdy glasses. Ha. Ha. "I'm never going to be a reporter!" She then added. Say it with me: Ha. Ha. We get it. Please stop. "So, Smallville. I like you're look." She admired as she ran her hand down to Clark's-
"Whoa!" Clark responded to Lois touch.
Lana walked over to them and looked at Lois menacingly. "So, it's over, huh? You found another girl to follow you! Huh, Clark!" she said as tears ran down her face.
"What is wrong with her?" Lois asked.
"So many things." Clark lamented.
"Guys!" Chloe interjected. "Remember? Clark's shirts?"
They all started thinking on where could Clark's shirts be. Then it dawns on Chloe. "Lex! He always seems to know more than he leads on."
------It was a warn sunny morning and that made Lex feel a little bit loose. He had given the servants the day off, so he was alone to do what he always wanted to do. Walk around naked! Woo! He never felt so free.
"Hey Lex!" Clark's voice greeted.
"Clark!" His voice ten times higher than normal shrieked as he hid behind his desk. "What are you doing here?" he asked in his more normal and in control voice. "And shirtless!" he added losing his voice again.
"That's what I need to know." Clark stated as he walked in the middle of the room so the light would give the viewers a better look of his abs. This gave Lex a happy feeling he didn't expect. And, after all, he was naked!
"I don't know what you're talking about." Lex said as he made sure Clark didn't see his raising... music.
"Are you sure? You look shifty." Clark asked suspicious.
"It's nothing!" Lex blurted hoping he would leave so he could take matters into his own hand.
Clark walked closer to Lex. "Why aren't you talking close to me, like you normally do?" Clark asked walking even closer. "You know that we have extreme chemistry." Clark was now inches from Lex's face.
"Clark..." Lex's voice was but a whisper. Their lips grow closer until, finally might I add, kiss. Passionately. And then Clark remove his pants and... I can't describe more because this is a PG-13 rating, but trust me, if was good. You don't know what you just miss. All our fanfic dreams came true! Too bad that I didn't race the rating, huh?
------Clark woke up in his lover's arms, forgetting what made him come to his house in the first place. But who cares? Who can care about anything after having sex with Lex Luthor?
So what happen to his shirts? Think. Who really wants to see Clark naked all the time? Us fans! I took them! Muahahahahahahaha! And I'm not giving them back.
End.
A/N: Sooooooooooooooooo sorry!