A/N: I'm back, finally! It's actually been a few years, I'm done with high school, and I want to work on my creative writing skills again. I was a sophomore when I started this story, and I hope that my writing skills have improved at least a little bit since I began this story. I decided to revise this whole thing, but I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this anymore. We'll just see where this takes me…

And I still need ideas for pranks!

Disclaimer: I have never and will never own Harry Potter and I am not profiting from writing this little ficlet.

Teenage Crushes

Chapter 1: Thoughts of Him

If love is pain, then why do we put ourselves through so much hurt?

I, Lily Marie Evans, am in love. I'm in love with a person who doesn't even know I exist. Most of my friends believe that I'm in love with Sirius Black, and since I have never contradicted them about that, they continue to think it. The truth is, I fell in love a long time ago, during my first year perhaps, and the boy, man now I suppose, didn't realize it.

Maybe I should've worn shorter skirts, or lower cut shirts, but I'm fine with who I am. I have never been a true "girly girl," and I used to be uncomfortable wearing anything that showed the slightest amount of skin. I never had much of a figure to deal with anyways, but happily, I developed over the summer, and my cousin treated me to a makeover for my 17th birthday.

I know I am at least pretty, some say beautiful, but I don't think I could ever live up to the woman he deserves. I've got a somewhat lithe and muscular body from years of Quidditch. My red hair and emerald eyes make me unique and allow me to stand out in a crowd, but my best friend Aubrey, the girl he is currently dating, is the perfect girl for him. She's absolutely gorgeous. Her long blonde hair, green eyes, and perfect body make me green with envy (although she says she's jealous of my looks!).

I idolize him to the point of obsession. I hide it well, though, and not even Aubrey knows. I don't stalk him or anything; mainly it's just that my thoughts are constantly on him. Ironically, I'm still the smartest witch at Hogwarts and destined to become Head Girl this year.

I even joined the Quidditch team to be closer to him. I was surprised at my talent for Chaser, since I had never played before tryouts. I became Gryffindor's Golden Girl last year, while he coincidentally became Gryffindor's Sex God.

I don't think anyone would believe that I'm not a virgin. The day Aubrey and him got together, I snuck out to a club in Hogsmeade and got drunk. Needless to say, I woke up beside an extremely hot naked man the next morning. I was shocked and embarrassed at first, but when he woke up, we started talking about the night before. He said I was surprisingly amazing in bed for it being my first time and being totally trashed.

My talents just seemed to keep popping out from nowhere. That was pretty much the only good thing about that day, losing my virginity to a stranger while being so drunk that I'll never remember the experience. Everyone says it's supposed to be amazing and special, but I guess life just happens sometimes.

I have a wild side. I'm not the naïve, innocent little Lily Evans that everyone thinks I am. I sneak out to go to clubs and pick up random, good-looking guys. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I won't be called a whore or a slut. I don't dress slutty, nor do I act it. I believe that's what truly makes a girl a slut, not sleeping around.

I have differing opinions from other people, and I speak my mind. I'm rather independent, if I do say so myself (which I do). People can say what they will of me, and sometimes it irritates me, but I get over it quickly. I only hex them into next week as I have a reputation to maintain as a fiery red head.

I'm not going to lie and say boys don't drool over me, because they do. I guess I have my own attractive appeal. But those boys will never compare to him. Many of you are probably wondering by now, how can a popular guy like him not notice me?

Easy, I seem to sink into the shadows whenever he's nearby. My usual dynamic, energetic aura seems to fade away as soon as he gets within 10 feet of me. Who would notice a shy girl when you yourself are an energetic outgoing person? Now you're probably wondering, how has he not heard of you, or even pranked you yet? I have no answer to this question, perhaps I never will.

Being Head Girl this year is an upside to a rather depressing world I live in right now. I have no idea who the Head Boy will be, but I heard a rumor that starting this year, I'll have to share a common room and bathroom with him. We each get our own bedroom, though. That's good news. As long as the Head Boy isn't a Slytherin, especially Snape (we had an unfortunate fall-out when I discovered exactly how much influence that dastardly Lucius Malfoy had over him), I'll be okay. But tomorrow I have to wake up early and leave for Hogwarts, so maybe I'll continue telling my story later.

A/N 2: Please tell me of any grammatical errors, or confusing sentences. I do tend to contradict myself, and constructive criticism is great! Hopefully I'll finally finish this story this year!