The Sound of White Chapter 7: Aftermath, a ncis fanfic

Chapter 7-Aftermath

Gibbs sat on his couch drinking himself into oblivion. He thought about the past events of the day. How they had gone from being father and daughter trying to pick up the pieces.

To raging enemies throwing verbal heartbreakers at one another.

To losing her, to his own mouth and bastard ways.

To finding her and proving to her that her was not the complete narcissistic arsehole she had come to believe he was.

To losing her again, this time forever. This time it was definite. He would never see her ever again. He would never hear her laugh, never see her smile, never hear that accent again. Furthermore he would never get the chance to apologise to her face. Never get the chance to tell her the truth.

For the second time in his adult life he was not ashamed to shed a tear, more than a tear, several hundred. He had cried when Sophie was born, she was a miracle, it had taken 7 years of IVF to get her. He and her mother had cried freely with tears of joy the day she came into the world. She had been a miracle, she would help him appreciate life, help him understand other peoples feelings and needs. She would be his wisdom. Sophie. Sophie means wisdom. His shining star.

This time although the tears he cried were not tears of joy, they were tears of sorrow. He rose from the couch and into Sophie's makeshift room and recovered the backpack that he had been given at the scene of the accident. She had left it in the backseat of the car on the drivers side, that way it was unharmed. He rummaged through her back in search of one thing. Her favourite CD. He pulled out the Missy Higgins case. Carried the white case to the lounge room, removed the CD and slipped into the CD player.

He sat back down on the couch and with the remote he turned the stereo on. He decided that he would start from where he left off, he skipped through to track 11, the Sound of White…the music began to play calming him, making him think of Sophie…

Like a freeze dried rose, you will never be what you were, what you were to me, in memory, but if I listen to the dark, you'll embrace me like a star, envelope me, envelope me…

If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to before you went away-if only for a day. If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to the tune we played before you went away.

And if I listen to the sound of white,

Sometimes I hear your smile and breathe your light,

If I listen to the sound of white.

You're my mystery, one mystery, my mystery, one mystery

My silence solidifies until that hollow void erases you, erases you so I can't feel at all.

But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness will end the painful dream of you and me.

Gibbs hummed along to the tune, and when the words returned, through a strained voice he sung along…

"And if I listen to the sound of white,

Sometimes I hear your smile and breathe your light,

If I listen to the sound of white."

Finis