Part 5
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em
"It has come to my attention that certain people have been flaming my story and my lists." I said to the crowd. Insane people are very good listeners.
"Now I want to go over what the summary says, then we can make a list of 100 ways to kick their butts."
"But Shippou, sir, isn't that not allowed on the fanfics?" talkative Tom asked.
"Darn, your right. They won't post it. Then we'll make a list of 100 things to do to make Inuyasha and Kouga not so dumb." I replied.
"But that will be too hard!" sobbing Sally whined.
"Yeah! That's impossible!" stop watch Sam exclaimed.
"Then we'll make a list of 100 things to do to make this story so perfect they'll have to like it!" I screamed. The insane might listen well, but man do they whine a lot!
What the summary says:
Shippou got a hold of Kagome's typewriter and starts out by writing 100 things to do with: a dead Kouga! What will he write next? R&R! No flames. It's just a dumb story. Why get worked up enough over it to write hate mail?
Emphasis on:
No flames. It's just a dumb story. Why get worked up enough over it to write hate mail?
"Now I want to lecture you on why your all idiots if you come to an Inuyasha story, read it, and then review saying it is stupid and your not even a fan." I said.
After an awkward silence, I continued.
"Well, I guess that just kind of speaks for itself huh?" I asked. After a few minutes of nodding heads and mumbling words of agreement, we continued with our plan.
100 things to do to make this story perfect!
Find everyone who thinks it's stupid.
Separate the ones who are Inuyasha fans from the ones who aren't
Let the ones who aren't, go (unless they read it intentionally just to be mean and say not nice things.
Everyone who think Shippou is cute can leave too
Everyone who hates it because it is making Shippou crazy can leave (unless they wrote hate mail)
Beat the remaining people senseless until they beg for mercy
Realize that that is all we can do to them
Decide we will have to make the story better
Wonder why some guy said that this story is so not Shippou's voice when he is the one writing it.
Shrug
Decide we don't care
Decide that everything being spelled perfect would help
Maybe adding one more thing on the end so it would be 101
Wonder if that is a little too much
Shrug
Decide we don't care
Reread our story on the net
Realize that the wonderful numbers don't show up on it
Assure the reviewers that there is indeed 100 up here
Hope they can forgive for getting rid of the beautiful numbers
Plot to get the numbers back on
Find out that is really hard
Decide to give up
Wonder if letters will work better
Remember that there is only 26 letters and 100 things
Subtract 100 by 26
Find out it is either 84 or 74
Realize that we suck at mental math
Shrug
Decide we don't' care
Thank the reviewers who were nice
Apologize for having to punish them along with the bad ones
Urge them to punish the bad ones along with us
Tell them to point and laugh
Announce that I just had a CT scan done one my head
Say that I will find out what is wrong with it on Monday
Say that this is really true
Say that it is only because the doctor's wanna make sure I don't have a sinus infection
Realize that I'm rambling
Shrug
decide I don't care
Thank the Inu-pup for helping me out with this story
Tell her that I hope her CT scan went okay
Give her a cookie
Give the good reviewers a cookie
Promise that another chapter that is a good one is one the way
Tell them I just have to escape from this place soon
Tell them that the security gives everyone who leaves a lollipop and if they hyperventilate, decide they are insane people trying to get out
The innocent sane people who have fallen prey to this went crazy a while ago
Be sad that the good always are the first to go
Shrug
Decide I don't care
Wonder what Inuyasha and Kouga are doing
Decide they are probably still staring at that light bulb
Shake my head
Sigh
Climb into the ventilation system
Hum the James Bond theme
Wear black
Escape
Run out into the open
See a lollipop
The world slightly spins
Start to hyperventilate
Realize it is a trap
Get a hold of my self
Become calm
Escape for real
Come back
Free my insane friends
Shake my head when they fall for the lollipop trick
Realize that my sanity has come back
Jump for joy!
Go back and rescue my insane friends
Hide the lollipop so they won't be tricked
March to the Inu-pups house
Eat all the left over ramen before it goes bad
Smile causeI got chicken flavored
Smile even more cause Inuyasha gets none
Gasp when she showsme her mini Inu!
Poke the 3 inch tall mini Inu
Laugh
Go back to Kagome's house
Go through the well
Find Kouga
Take his shards while he is staring at the light bulb
Run away
Bring my crazy friends with me
Sell them to a mine so they can be crazy in there
Take the complimentary bag of money and horse
Ride the horse
Realize that I can't ride horses
Sell that too
Search for Kagome
Can't find Kagome
Go back to the well
Cry
Kagome comes to give me a hug
She gives me a lollipop
Lick the lollipop
Plot to write another 100 after a nice long nap
"That is a cool list Shippou. There is only one problem." Silly sally said
"What?" I asked. I saw no flaw.
"We are in straight jackets." She replied.
"Oh. That could be a problem."
Will Shippou ever get back to Kagome? Will he ever become un-crazy like the list says? Will the Inu-pup get a cookie? Will the reviewers be mad that they had to be punished? Can they understand that I'm sorry? Will I ever stop asking questions? How far will this fic go? How many people have this on their fav's list? Can I ever get over 100 reviews? Will I get to 50? Is anyone even reading this? Find out next time on
100 things to do with!
See ya soon!