Title: End of Shift
Author: DarkDreamer56
Archive: If you want it, ask please!
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: N/S, but more friendship than romance.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, they'd still be working together…
Spoilers: Mild spoilers for "Who Shot Sherlock?" (5x11)
A/N: This story is a little ficlet following the celebration at the end of "Who Shot Sherlock?" I was happy to see the scene (I love seeing the friendship dynamic between the characters), and, as nice as it was to see Sara all happy and smiling, I got to wondering whether or not it was an act on her part. This is my attempt to explore the Sara we have seen in the past couple of episodes. Since I am a Snicker, I chose to do it through Nick's eyes. Enjoy, and let me know what you think about the story!
As Nick walked to the locker room, he found himself whistling for the first time in a long while. Maybe it was because Greg had passed his final proficiency that night, officially making him a CSI Level 1, or maybe he was happy because the team had gotten a chance to celebrate together. It had been weeks since the last time the entire crew had something to celebrate. Grissom had been so proud of Greg's passing that even Ecklie hadn't been able to ruin the toast Grissom made, and Nick had to admit it was good to finally see Sara smile and acting cheerful again.
Taking in the sight in front of the bay of lockers, however, Nick sadly realized that it had been just an act. He should have guessed; while he knew she was genuinely happy for Greg, the smile had been a little too wide, never quite reaching her eyes. Sara was sitting on the bench, head in her hands and looking altogether unhappy. Nick sighed and dropped down next to her on the bench, hoping that he had caught her before she went into shut down mode.
"Hey," he whispered, trying not to startle her, "What's goin' on here?"
Sara lifted her head in surprise at his voice. She was smiling, but Nick saw the quiver of her upper lip between the time she realized he was there and when their eyes met. Sara was the master at painting on smiles. "Nothing, everything's fine."
Nick gave her a look, clearly implying he didn't believe a word she had said. "Fine, I'm just tired…it's been a long week, and I haven't been sleeping very well. Nothing to worry about."
Nick looked her over carefully, noticing the way her eyes darted to the floor when she realized he was studying her. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes were dull, in direct contrast to the bubbly woman he had seen only an hour earlier. The bags under her eyes attested to the fact that she hadn't been sleeping very much lately. Her thin frame worried him; she had always been slim, but this was a new extreme.
"It must be pretty exhausting," he commented, placing a hand on her back, "pretending to be okay all the time."
Sara looked as if she would refute his statement, so Nick was startled to see a single tear escape down her cheek. He wrapped his arm around her as she allowed her head to lie on his shoulder.
"Sometimes I don't know what's going on in my own head," she whispered, the fear of losing control evident in her voice, "And with all the changes here lately....the lab was always stable, but now with you and Warrick gone…"
A realization suddenly hit Nick, and he mentally smacked himself for not realizing it sooner. When Ecklie pulled his power trip, he not only broke up the night shift, he also took away Sara's sense of security. Surely, there were problems before the break up; after almost five years, Sara was still a mystery to all of them, but splitting up the team had made matters worse. They all knew how much Sara worked; how the lab took up so much of her life. It was no wonder she had come to rely on her coworkers as her family; in some sense, they all did. And Ecklie had separated her from the three people most likely to notice something was wrong. Everyone knew that Grissom's people skills were slightly below par, Sophia hardly knew Sara and was too busy trying to adjust to her own shift change, and Greg had been too preoccupied with getting out into the field and passing his proficiency to realize something was wrong.
That left no one on graveyard to notice that Sara wasn't eating or sleeping, that cases were getting to her on a personal level. No one to persuade her to take a break and run to Krispy Kreme, or to give her an impromptu hug when she looked like she was having a particularly bad shift. And that went both ways; Nick missed the playful banter she would engage him in when he was having a bad day, the way that she would drive him crazy by leaning over him while they were checking out a report, using his shoulder to keep her balance, and a million other gestures that didn't seem to mean anything until they were gone.
"I'm a pretty good listener," Nick offered, pulling her closer into a hug. She responded by wrapping her arms around his waist. She clung to him in a manner that nearly broke his heart; he was reminded of an abandoned kitten his sister had adopted when he was six, that dug it's claws in whenever someone picked it up, terrified of being let go. He couldn't fix whatever was wrong, but he could give her someone to lean against when it got to be too much, and the physical contact that he knew she needed.
"I'm not ready yet…" She sniffled, and her voice wavered for just an instant before she regained control. Nick felt her sigh next to him, realizing what a big step this conversation had been for her. He was only glad she had decided to confide in him.
"Whenever you are, I'm here. You've got people that care about you Sara. We just want you to be happy again."
"I don't know if I even know how to do that anymore."
"Well, for starters, you can come out with us to breakfast; we'regonna finish up the celebration Ecklie interrupted." Nick pulled her up and pushed her gently to her locker before opening his to stow his stuff and grab his coat. "You know, just because he broke up the team, it doesn't mean he can break us up…"
"I think I'm starting to realize that," Sara replied, shutting her locker door. She looked up at him, giving him a smile. What it lacked in size, it certainly made up for in sincerity. Nick returned the smile, shutting his own locker, and propelled her towards the door.
"Come on now, Greg said somethin' about you buying…"
"For Greg, yeah," she smirked, "But I don't know if I can afford to pay for you. The way you eat, you're liable to clear my bank account."
"Eh, that's what credit cards are for," he retorted, flashing her a grin.
The giggle that escaped while she rolled her eyes and linked her arm with his was the sweetest sound he had heard in awhile. Warrick and Greg gave Nick and Sara an odd look as they fell in step behind the pair, arguing about where they were going to eat, but Nick didn't mind. Sara was on her way back, Greg was now a CSI, and Ecklie couldn't keep them apart. All in all, not a bad shift.
FIN.
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