Finally, I hear you cry! Haha, or not. You're no doubt all too absorbed in HBP to be reading fanfiction (I know I am!). Hope you're all enjoying it! I apologise for the delay, yet again (I swear, my life is one big delay these days). I would have posted this chapter sooner if I didn't have to restart it, due to my computer conveniently deciding it was going to mess with me, and prevent me from accessing my big file, containing the WHOLE of this story. Luckily I managed to rescue most of it, and my notes for the next chapters, so all's well. Anyway, there's my explanation, hope you accept it to be good enough. Heh. A few notes to reviewers before I get on with things:
ElizabethChrystal: Heck, I don't think I can even begin to dream that I am anywhereNEAR JK's standards, but nevertheless...I'm very, very happy you like it so much! I wanted to try something happy, with no angst or moody teenagers…I always imagined the Marauders having alot of fun while they were at school, so this is just one example of what they might have gotten up to. Thanks so much for all of your comments!
ThelovelyladyLily: it was so nice to see you quote a section you liked, that was incredibly sweet of you! Thanks a bunch, I hope you keep reading :P
the-mpreg-spirit: slash hints! Wow, and I didn't even try! Glad you liked it, though!
Dani: nooo, its definitely not the end, I can assure you. Thanks for reading and reviewing- it will get finished, if you can bear with me and my 'excuses' for not updating!
Nearly there, though...the final chapter is just around the corner. Anyhoo, I'll stop delaying you even more and let you carry on. Proceed, my precious readers...
Being responsible for five days of (mostly) successful organised chaos had made the Marauders feel rather proud of themselves. Day 5 had ended on a high after their success on the Quidditch pitch, and had got even better when they had spied the battered looking Slytherin team being lectured by an angry Professor Flitwick on care and responsibility of school equipment.
The sixth day of pranking had barely begun, and already things were looking promising for the boys: not only was it a Saturday, but it also happened to be a Hogsmeade weekend, which was always a good thing. Also, it was 8:30 and so far they hadn't seen Filch stalking the corridors, as they usually did in the mornings. The absence of their least favourite caretaker only lifted the mood even higher (Sirius even suggested, with glee, that perhaps he and Scraggles had both come down with flu, and then went slightly dreamy-eyed, clearly hoping it was true). Though, despite the general good feeling, there was a sense of tension amongst the Marauders. They all knew that April Fools was only one sleep away, and they all knew that the pressure was on. The practical joking was now beyond a joke- things were getting serious, and they knew they couldn't afford for anything to go wrong at this late stage of the plan.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter weren't the only ones feeling a little on edge, either- by this time, the students of Hogwarts were well aware that things were not quite right in the castle, and that someone was unmistakably 'up to something'. Everywhere, students were peeking around corners and constantly checking over their shoulders. Many had taken to moving only in large groups, and all were hesitant to eat or touch anything, in fear of a repeat of the Pepper Breath Pumpkin Juice incident, or perhaps triggering off another slime bucket.
Even several of the staff members seemed uneasy- poor Madam Pomfrey, for one, was rushed off her feet tending to students who had been clobbered by Peeves' possessed suit of armour on the second floor, or scared half to death by lurking fanged frisbees.
Still, the Marauders found this very encouraging. They were honoured to have had such an effect on the school, even if they were doing it anonymously.
It was over breakfast that morning that Sirius brought up the topic of 'The Big One' for April Fools Day. His grey eyes narrowed, as they often did when he had a plan brewing in his mind.
"I reckon I know what we can do," he said, gazing thoughtfully at his toast. "For tomorrow, I mean,"
"Ooh, what?" asked Peter instantly, looking up. "What is it, Sirius?"
Sirius assumed a haughty look and resumed eating.
"I'm not saying," he said. "Not until tonight, anyway. You'll have to wait til then to find out. It'll be tricky, a bit of a risk...but if we can pull it off, every student in the school will be celebrating,"
Remus was staring at Sirius worriedly over the rim of his goblet. "I already don't like the sound of this," he commented.
"Oh, you will, its brilliant," Sirius grinned.
"Don't be so sure," said Remus flatly.
Peter looked to be hovering between excitement and uncertainty.
"But-but just how risky is it, Sirius?" he asked. "If we get caught...what'll we do then?"
"Come on! We won't get caught," Sirius laughed. "We haven't failed yet, have we?"
"Actually-" Remus intervened, but Sirius gallantly overrode him.
"No! No more negative talk, I won't hear it!" He pounded his fist on the table, narrowly missing the butter dish. "We WILL succeed and we WILL get away with it. Now, whenever either of you two have any doubts, I want you to keep repeating that to yourselves. All right?"
Peter nodded dutifully.
"This experience is going to leave me mentally scarred for the rest of my life," Remus muttered, shaking his head.
"Well I for one am going to look back on it rather fondly," Sirius concluded. "Right, James?"
When James failed to answer, the 3 boys turned to look at him, anticipating a response. He had been shockingly quiet since they had entered the Great Hall that morning. He was sitting with his chin resting on his arms, which were folded in front of him the table. His glasses had slid to the end of his nose and he hadn't even noticed- he was far too busy staring further down the Gryffindor table. Something, or someone, had his attention.
"Prongs?" Sirius tried. He leaned over and waved a hand in front of his face. "Hey, Jamesy- you allright, mate?"
"Huh?" said James, realising he was being addressed, but not breaking his gaze. "Oh...yeah,"
"Are you sure? You haven't touched your breakfast," Remus observed, frowning slightly.
"You're not sick, are you James?" asked Peter.
"I think he's lovesick," said Sirius, his face cracking into a grin. He pointed down the table to the central point of James' focus. "It's Evans again,"
Sure enough, there was Lily Evans, seated further down the table, amongst friends. She was instantly recognizable by her shock of auburn hair, and green eyes that seemed to glitter when she smiled. Her eyes flickered towards where the Marauders were seated- startled, James instantly withdrew his gaze, his hand flying to his hair.
"James," said Remus, despairingly. "Why don't you just go and talk to her?"
"Talk to who?" asked James, trying to sound casual, but looking a little distracted as he started to absently spread jam onto his eggs on toast. "I wasn't, I mean- I don't know- who are you talking about?"
Sirius grinned knowingly.
"Ahh, no one," he said, winking at the other two. "Hey, what are the plans for today?"
"Plans…" repeated James, staring down at his breakfast in confusion. "I don't know…"
"Isn't everyone going to Hogsmeade?" questioned Peter.
"Yes," replied Remus, smiling. He turned to Sirius. "Therefore there'll be no one around the castle for you to torment,"
Sirius thought this over for a moment. "You're right, Moony. Looks like we'll have to take our mischief making into Hogsmeade and cause some trouble there instead!"
Remus almost choked on his Pumpkin Juice.
"What?" he croaked. "That's not what I was suggesting at all!"
James- who seemed to be perking up a bit- pushed his glasses back up his nose, and grinned.
"Good plan, Remus!" he said. "We can go to Zonko's for some ideas, stock up on the essentials, perhaps even stop at Honeydukes to get some cockroach clusters…"
"Aren't you pranked out?" asked Remus urgently.
"Never!" shouted Sirius, rather valiantly. "Today's an excellent chance to get down to business. No lessons, for a start,"
"And no teachers," James pointed out. "Even if we do run into one or two in Hogsmeade…we have an advantage. They're out of their natural habitat, they're vulnerable,"
Remus rolled his eyes.
"Um...should weget readyto go?" suggested Peter. "It's nearly 9 o'clock now,"
The boys wolfed down the rest of their breakfast and darted up to the Gryffindor tower to collect their cloaks, some money and other essentials, before heading back down to the entrance hall where other students were assembling, ready to leave the school and go into Hogsmeade. As the last students arrived and they set off across the grounds being lead by Professor Kettleburn, the Marauders failed to notice that they in particular were being closely followed by a certain, oily haired Slytherin…
At around half past nine, the students poured into Hogsmeade, chattering excitedly amongst themselves, planning on what they were going to buy at Honeydukes, and when they were going to meet up for Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. It was also bustling with inhabitants of the village, out doing their morning shopping, and several shopkeepers were magicking up little signs to hang in their windows, advertising their specials. The atmosphere was all very cheerful.
The Marauders stood before the quaint little town, like artists standing before blank canvases.
"This place is just screaming for some pranking," commented Sirius, as if it were obvious.
"I really don't think you should," Remus warned. "This is a town. People live here- perhaps consider them for a moment before you go off disturbing the peace,"
"Moony," said James, turning to him. "Let me get a few things straight before we set off. Number one: you are only a Prefect whilst in school. So no lectures on rule breaking today,"
Remus opened his mouth to say something but seemed to decide against it, and stayed quiet, frowning.
"Number two," James continued, now directing his attention to the other two Marauders as well. "There will be no holding back. It's a weekend, and we are a day away from completing the challenge- we've had our practice runs, its time to get serious. From now on, we show no mercy. Is that clear?"
"Crystal, James," remarked Sirius, while Peter nodded eagerly. Sirius turned a devious eye on an ugly old hag who happened to be passing, and discreetly drew his wand- he gave it a quick wave and a sign bearing the words "Hex me!" instantly appeared on her back.
"Sirius!" hissed Remus, as Peter snorted with laughter. "Take that off!"
"Oh, I don't think I want to," said Sirius airily, watching the old hag hobble off. "After all, that would be breaking rule number two, wouldn't it?"
Remus bristled and crossed his arms.
"Nice work, Padfoot," said James. "Thirdly…what's that?"
James turned sharply, staring into a nearby bush. It rustled, the leaves quivering for a moment before falling still.
The Marauders gazed at it, curiously.
"Someone there?" called Sirius.
No response.
"It's probably a Doxy. They breed this time of year!" said Peter, rather happy he could contribute this vital piece of information.
"I didn't want to know that, Pete," said Sirius, wincing in disgust. "Prongs, might I suggest that the third rule for today is for Peter to keep his trap shut unless he's got something more interesting to talk about than mating Doxys?"
James thought for a moment. "Yes," he concluded. "You got that Wormtail?"
Peter scratched his mousy brown haired head, then mumbled "Yeah," as if he were still trying to figure out whether he had just been insulted or not.
"Right," said James, clapping his hands together. "Zonko's?"
"Absolutely," beamed Sirius, as the two of them headed off, Peter at their heels. Remus gave a desperate sigh before traipsing after them.
Moments later, the little thicket they had been standing near gave another rustle, as someone peered out…
James and Sirius were definitely in their element once they stepped into Zonko's Joke Shop. It was jam-packed with assorted magical items for tricking people with, and all around them things were whirring and buzzing and letting off little explosions. Mr Zonko himself- a lavishly dressed middle aged man, with long curly chestnut hair and a beard- was delightedly serving students from behind the counter, and having a laugh as he caught them out with various new products- including a range of trick sweets (a group of 3rd year boys had obviously just been offered some Hiccup Lollipops, as they were - between hiccuping - attempting to give Mr Zonko some money to buy themselves some bags full of them).
"I could spend all day in here," said James, looking around in awe. "Hey, look at this!"
He picked up a tiny, rubbery black spider.
"Its a 'Bonkers Bug'…apparently, you set it on someone, and it sits just behind their ear- and every so often, it'll start singing, or laughing madly- the person can't figure out where they voice is coming from, and they start to think they've gone mad!"
"Who would buy that sort of thing…" muttered Remus, physically dragging Sirius away from a box of 'Super Strength Dungbombs' his black-haired friend had just clapped eyes on.
Behind them, Peter let out a shriek as a stack of Pocket Sneak-o-Scopes came crashing down next to him, all of which started up ear-splitting whines as they scattered over the floor. Peter's cheeks flushed red.
"I'm sorry!" he cried, as Mr Zonko looked up to see what had caused the racket. "I-I didn't think I even touched them!"
"Not to worry!" he called, drawing his wand and giving it a quick flick. The Sneak-o-Scopes restacked themselves and fell silent once again. Peter nervously stepped away from them.
"Can I help you lads with anyone?" asked Zonko, casually placing a tray of eerie screaming skulls onto a high shelf behind him. "Oh, zip it, you lot,"
The skulls lowered their screaming to a level of creepy moans- Sirius gazed up at them eagerly.
"I like those," he said, pointing at them.
"Oh, do you?" asked Zonko, casting a glance up at the skulls. "Scare the pants of someone, if used correctly. Best placed in a dark corner, I find. Was there anything in particular you were after today?"
"We're looking for some…inspiration," said James carefully, watching the group of hiccupping 3rd years exit the shop. "We want to try something new,"
"Ah," said Zonko, thinking for a moment. "Why don't you take one of these?"
He reached over the counter to a stack of glossy magazines- he took out a copy, and handed it to James. The other Marauders stood around him to look. The magazine, entitled "Pranks Monthly", featured a moving picture of a wizard on the front, triumphantly holding a bag of Stink Pellets, which was being encircled by several flies. There were subheadings around the wizard, reading things in glittery lettering like "Turn your friends orange in 3 easy steps!", "Diversions! Our must have list!" and "100 disgusting things to put in your teacher's desk!"
"Very handy," said Zonko. "Enough ideas in there to keep you going for a while, I'd say. All very easy, too,"
"I'll take it!" cried James, decisively, delving into his pocket and withdrawing a fistful of Knuts and Sickles.
Mr Zonko beamed. "10 Sickles, thankyou," he said, accepting the money from James. "And might I suggest Page 13?"
"Thanks," grinned James, tucking the magazine under his arm. "We'll be back,"
"Have a good day, boys!" Zonko called, as they left the shop.
"I'm sure we will," said Sirius. "This is brilliant, I bet there's loads of stuff in there we can do,"
James opened the magazine and flicked through, as they began slowly walking down the street, past the bakery and The Three Broomsticks.
"Page 13, did he say?" he asked. "Wonder what's so special about Page 13?"
They stopped, as James looked for the section Mr Zonko had recommended. He found it, and as the other three leaned over to look, his eyes began to shine.
"Ohh, brilliant," he whispered.
Pages 13 and 14 were a double spread. With moving coloured diagrams, and instructions, the article's most prominent feature was a large picture of a baffled looking wizard with a pair of pink underpants, of all things, on his head. The title of the page read "Want to humiliate someone like they've never been humiliated before? Expose their secrets in 2 waves and a flick! Learn the newest trick in the Wizarding World with our easy step by step guide!"
"What's this?" cried Sirius, taking a hold of the magazine too, and reading frantically. "'Wave your wand twice, once to the left, then to the right, followed by a sharp flick, whilst speaking the incantation…"Underpantus Revealus"- so this is a hex to make people's underwear…appear…on their heads!"
"Seems to be!" said James happily, just as Remus let out a strangled cry of disbelief, and turned away, a hand to his head.
Peter gasped, bobbing up and down.
"Can we try it on someone! Please James?" he begged. "Could-could I even have a go at it? Please?"
"Of course we can do it," James grinned, a look of determination on his face as he re-read the page. "We just need to locate a suitable victim,"
Sirius snapped his fingers. "Like Snivellus?"
"Preferably," said James, evilly. "If he's here,"
Remus turned around, looking like he was bursting to tell them off.
"Rule number one, Moony!" Sirius reminded him, in highly annoying sing-song voice. "Don't try to stop us. This one's golden!"
"Did I say anything?" said Remus.
"No…but you were going to," accused Sirius, pointing a finger at Remus. "You had that Prefect-ish looking in your eyes,"
Remus gave a tired sigh. "All I was going to say," he began, wearily, "Was that I think you possibly could have humiliated Snape enough for this week, and if you really have to do it, why not opt for a different target…like -"
"…Gywnham," James growled suddenly.
"Huh?"
The remaining three Marauders instantly turned to look at James. Their friend had acquired a familiarly livid look in his hazel eyes, behind his round spectacles, which were glinting in the morning sun. James Potter had most likely not heard a word of Remus and Sirius' conversation over the past minute or two, as he was intently watching the progress of two figures making their way across the cobbled road near Dervish and Banges.
One of the figures was Lily Evans, radiant auburn hair shimmering in the sunlight. The other figure, far less radiant, was Gregory Gwynham, the slightly daft Slytherin Seeker whom the Marauder's had only recently put a slug hex on, and whose broomstick, among many others, they had tampered with.
"That's Lily!" gasped Peter. "James, why is she with Gregory Gwynham?"
"If I knew, Peter, I'd tell you," said James, slowly shaking his head.
Sirius stared hard at the two as they stopped for a moment for Gwynham to tie his shoe.
"I'd say Lil's gone loopy, wouldn't you?" he observed. "What in Merlin's name would have possessed her to go out with him? I'm surprised he knows how to tie his shoelaces, let alone ask a girl on a date,"
"They can't be dating," James assured him, but not sounding completely certain himself. He crossed his arms, glaring scathingly down the High road. "She hates him…we saw them the other day, right? She didn't want anything to do with him! We saw them, didn't we? I'll bet those other worms from the Slytherin team pushed her into coming here with him today!"
"Calm down, James," said Remus soothingly. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation,"
"Yeah," Sirius chimed in, putting a friendly arm around James' shoulders, knowing that they had him talking about a sensitive subject. "I know you don't really care what Evans gets up to in her spare time, what boys she sees…"
"I-I don't," stammered James, craning his neck to get a better look at Lily and Gregory Gwynham, as they continued walking, heading towards a side street. "I don't care at all,"
Seconds after he had said this, the couple disappeared from view, and a look of utter anxiety crossed over his face.
"Where do you suppose they're going?"
Sirius shrugged and smirked. "I dunno, Jamesy- for an alleyway snog?"
Clearly, what Sirius had just said was most definitely the wrong thing- James was instantly off at high speed, tearing towards the side street.
"Hey I was JOKING, Potter! JOKING!" Sirius bellowed after him. "Oh, that was a mistake! James!"
Sirius, Remus and Peter followed James around the corner by Scrivenshaft's, and stopped, panting. James looked around wildly. Lily and Gwynham were nowhere in sight, but the tinkling of a doorbell drew his attention to a little teashop on his right.
The shop- which was very quaint and homely looking, even from the outside- had a pink heart painted on its white door, and its open windows were home to some very frilly curtains, which were flapping in the soft, pleasant breeze.
The sign above the door read, in cute, curly pink writing "Madam Puddifoot's Tea Rooms,"
"Oh no," said Sirius, looking with utmost dread at the sweet little building. "They haven't gone in there, have they?"
"One way to find out," James replied, rolling up his sleeves and creeping up to one of the open windows.
"James…" muttered Remus. "Someone will see you! And it's none of our business, anyway!"
"Seems Prongs has just made it his business," sighed Sirius, watching James peer cautiously around one of the frilly curtains to see inside. He let out a gasp and immediately beckoned the other Marauders over.
The steamy little tearoom was reasonably full, mostly of couples, but not many were seated near the window, and most were far too preoccupied with each other to be worried about 4 nosy 5th year Hogwarts boys peeking in through the frilly curtains at them.
"There," James whispered pointing through the curtains towards the far corner of the room. Seated at a table, Lily and Gregory Gwynham were being served tea by a dumpy black haired woman wearing an apron, which seemed to be of the same lacy material as the curtains and tablecloths. Presumably, she was Madam Puddifoot. James gripped the windowsill as Gwynham smiled lopsidedly and pushed the sugar bowl towards Lily, who managed a small smile in return.
"She probably just didn't want to be mean and turn him down," said Remus evenly.
"Well she's looking like she's regretting that now," Sirius pointed out.
Gwynham was attempting to scoot around the table in an effort to be closer to Lily- it wasn't working, however, as Lily was, at the same time, inching her own chair further away from him.
"That's disgusting," mumbled James, watching them in dismay.
"…I can see something even more disgusting," Sirius suddenly moaned. He pointed a trembling finger to the centre of the room.
James, Peter and Remus looked, and wished they hadn't. Seated at a particularly frilly table was none other than caretaker Argus Filch, and Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse. Filch was looking at Madam Pomfrey with a somewhat sappy expression on his pouchy, usually livid face, and Madam Pomfrey kept patting her hair and tittering.
"I told you, didn't I?" said Peter, giggling nervously, as James hid his face in the curtain and Sirius sank down to the pavement looking highly disturbed. "I only just told you the other day that they fancied each other! I knew I saw them that day at school, kiss-"
"Will you put a sock in it, Wormtail?" Sirius snapped, beating Peter in the shin with the rolled up copy of Pranks Monthly he had been carrying. "I'm trying to think happy, clean thoughts here! Honestly!"
James and Remus also instantly vacated the window as Filch took Madam Pomfrey's hand and began to lean across the table towards her.
"Ok! Seen too much!" said James, screwing up his eyes, as he and Remus sat down under the windowsill next to Sirius. "Peter, stop looking! You disgust me!"
Peter only tore his eyes away when Sirius grabbed a handful of his cloak and dragged him down to their level.
"It's all very romantic in there," said Remus awkwardly. "I hope Gwynham isn't trying his luck with Lily…"
James visibly paled, wanting to look, but not wanting to catch a glimpse of Filch and Pomfrey's smooch fest in the process.
"Better not be," he growled. "We've got to do something to get her out of there,"
Sirius turned sharply, beaming.
"Ah, so you DO care about her, eh?" he said, dealing James a particularly roguish wink.
James averted his eyes. "Not like that," he said. "Er – just – you know – as a fellow Gryffindor. No one deserves to be on a date with that Slytherin dope. If, say, Peter was in there, crammed between the two Bickleford sisters, I'd feel it was my responsibility as a housemate to rescue him too,"
Peter looked wistfully up at James. "Would you?" he murmured.
Sirius ran a hand through his sleek black hair in thought.
"So, for reasons Prongs is all too vague about, we're going to make Gwynham look like a total pratt in front of Lily,"
"More so than he already does," said James. He held out a hand. "Padfoot- got that Pranks Monthly magazine?"
Sirius gladly handed it over and James flicked straight to page 13, drawing his wand. Remus peered over his shoulder.
"You're not going to try that, are you, James?" he asked, gazing down at the magazine.
"Yes indeed," he whispered, skimming over the instructions for the Underpantus Revealus hex. "Nothing says 'idiot' like having your underpants magically appear on your head…"
"What say we get in a few practice shots first, before we unleash it on Gwynham?" suggested Sirius, drawing his wand.
"Target practice…I like your thinking, Padfoot," replied James. "Draw your wands, lads,"
Peter - who already had his out - looked eager to have a go, and though Remus gave a small reluctant sigh as he drew his own, there was a slightly mischievous glint in the Prefect's eyes as he did so.
Warily, the four of them once again peered over the windowsill into Madam Puddifoot's tea rooms, and observed the situation from through the frilly curtains. Luckily for them, nothing too repulsive was going on. Filch and Madam Pomfrey had since been served tea, and were now dreamily buttering scones, and no longer canoodling. It looked as if awkward conversation was taking place at Lily and Gregory Gwynham's table – Lily was nervously stirring her tea, while Gwynham tried to look casual as he slowly snaked his hand across the table towards hers.
"We need to work fast," muttered James.
He glanced down at the instructions in the magazine, then, with determination on his face, aimed his wand at an unsuspecting couple of senior students in one of the back corners. The girl, who was very pretty, with long wavy blonde hair, bent down to get something out of her bag which sat next to her on the floor, leaving her date to continue gazing at her, absolutely smitten.
Sirius poked James in the arm. "Do it now!" he hissed.
"Here goes nothing," said James, taking a deep breath. Focusing all his attention on the love struck senior student, he waved his wand once to the left, then to the right, and followed with a sharp flick as he whispered "Underpantus Revealus!"
Anyone would imagine that a curse involving underpants would no doubt be amusing, but even the four Marauders couldn't brace themselves enough for the outcome of this one. With a rather comical 'PING', a pair of blue stripey underpants appeared on the first victim's head.
He didn't appear to notice, and was still grinning stupidly as his beautiful blonde partner straightened up in her chair again. Completely unaware of the underwear, he managed a cheesy grin when he saw her looking at him with a look of wild bewilderment on her face.
Clearly his beautiful blonde partner didn't care for his childish brand of humour, and promptly slapped him before grabbing her handbag and storming off towards the door.
James, Sirius and Peter bent double with laughter, and even Remus tried to hide his smile, as the poor boy, clutching his cheek in pain and confusion while his stripey underpants slid down over one eye, seemed to be more concerned that his girlfriend had stormed out, rather than the fact that his underpants had magically appeared on his head.
"WAIT, Sally!" he called, staggering out from behind the table and chasing her out through the door, and down the street and past the Marauders. "I'm sorry! Really! I don't know how they got there! I didn't do it!"
"You're so immature, Wilfred!" came the distant, teary holler of his girlfriend from somewhere down the road.
It took James and Sirius a considerable amount of weeping and trying to straighten up from laughter before they could tackle someone else in the tea rooms, without making too much noise.
"I think I need to go and hug Zonko," said Sirius, wiping his eyes, "This is quite possibly the most classic and satisfying hex I've ever seen!"
"Your turn Padfoot!" grinned James. "It's easy! Picture it happening, then wave once, twice and flick!"
Sirius nodded, and then gained a rather devious grin when he clapped eyes on Filch and Pomfrey. He seemed to make up his mind about whom their next target would be.
Without hesitation, Sirius whispered the incantation and let it do its job.
Filch, who was just leaning in to give Madam Pomfrey a peck on one of her rosy cheeks, was suddenly presented with a droopy old pair of large, off white underpants which materialised on his head with a 'PING!'. He only noticed when he was in mid-kiss, as one of the draw strings fell into his eyes.
The Marauders sniggered and ducked out of view as Filch stood up in astonishment and looked around for the culprit, while Madam Pomfrey looked to be fighting back the giggles herself.
"Alright, where's the little trollop who's done this, then!" he bellowed. Calling out in such a manner was probably not the wisest thing for Argus Filch to do- when one has underpants on one's head, the last thing one would normally want to do would be to draw any more attention to oneself. Filch's angry query did just that, and captured the attention of every other couple in the shop. The Marauders heard a great wave of chuckles arising from inside the tea rooms. Sirius fell limply on the pavement in silent hysterics.
"Oh, this is good!" observed James, before doing the hex twice more to a couple of nervous looking third years somewhere in the middle. With two more 'PINGS!', the girl let out a shriek when she realised her own pink knickers were now stretched over her head, and the boy let out an bewildered cry when his boxer shorts (a slightly lighter shade of pink than his partner's) appeared on his own head, slipping down over his eyes. The fact that his underpants were indeed, pink, seemed to numb the feeling of shock to his date, and instead she started to laugh hysterically.
"Can I have a go, James?" pleaded Peter, bobbing up and down with excitement. "Please let me have a go!"
"Don't mess it up, Pete!" warned James, as Peter peered through the frilly curtain and vaguely aimed his wand.
"Underpantus Revealus!" he whispered, a little unsurely.
'PING!'
This time it was Madam Puddifoot herself who fell subject to the jinx. Tottering through the tightly packed in tables with a tray of raison scones, she suddenly realised that her own large puffy bloomers had appeared over her head. Frilly and white, like the tablecloths and curtains, the legs of them flopped over her ears, making her look like an odd sort of rabbit.
Filch stared at her in shock, while Madam Puddifoot herself found it quite amusing, and began to titter.
"Well this is odd!" she warbled. Filch threw her a contemptuous glance as he angrily whipped his own off his head and stuffed them into his coat, looking mortified, as Madam Pomfrey looked on, smiling and blushing as she sipped her tea.
"Wormtail, you never cease to amaze me!" gasped Sirius, goggling down at his short, mousy haired friend. He turned his attention on Remus, who was watching the chaos unfold in the tearooms with a slightly amused look on his face. "Come on Moony- if Pratt-of-the-year Pete can do it, I'm sure you can, eh?"
"Me?" asked Remus, taken aback. "I don't know…"
"Go on, Rem," said James with a wink. "We've practised enough- get Gwynham, quickly!"
Remus looked uneasy, staring at the ground and shaking his head. He hesitated.
"James-"
"Come on! Go for it!"
Remus sighed and then gave a nod. "Allright,"
"That's my boy!" cried Sirius.
Somewhat shakily, he pointed his wand through the net curtain in the direction of Gwynham, and, not being able to look, covered his eyes with his hand before muttering the hex.
'PING!'
Remus Lupin had hit his target dead on. As he slowly uncovered his eyes, and the other three peered in, they saw exactly what they wanted to see- and undoubtedly, it was the best yet. Gregory Gwynham, the sleazy Slytherin dope who had no doubt been forced into taking Lily out on a date…was now sitting rigidly at his table with a pair of small, blue y-front underpants on his head, bearing a little cartoon Puffskein on them. As he slowly reached up a hand to feel exactly what it was that was gripping his head so tightly, the colour rose in his cheeks and he began to look wildly around the room. Lily, it seemed, was suffering greatly as she tried to stop herself laughing, but it wasn't working, and after a moment or two of trying desperately to contain herself, she let out a loud snort and started giggling madly.
Gwynham, thick as he was, wasn't seeing the funny side. He didn't seem to like being laughed at, and tried to muster a look of maturity (though it didn't really work, with his underpants on his head). The next thing the Marauders saw, Lily was taking a few sickles out of her pocket to pay for the tea and placing them on the table, before standing up, and leaving a very perplexed, annoyed and highly humiliated Gregory Gwynham to ponder what he'd done wrong, and why in the name of Merlin his knickers had materialised on his head.
James beamed.
"That," said Sirius, also grinning, "is the most fun I've had since…"
"Yesterday?" suggested Remus, grinning as he tucked his wand back under his cloak.
The tinkle of the door signalled Lily was leaving the tearoom.
"Quickly!" hissed James. The four friends darted around the corner of the shop, out of site, just as Lily Evans – looking happier than ever to be rid of Gregory Gwynham – strolled past, fastening her cloak, her wavy auburn hair bouncing as she walked.
"Do you think…she was going to leave anyway?" asked Peter. "I mean, without our help?"
"We gave her an outlet," shrugged James, stepping out into the street, once Lily had gone. "Only way to get away from someone him is to leg it at a chance where he's not so dominating, and feeling uncomfortable…"
"Uncomfortable is the word, did you see how tight those underpants were?" chuckled Sirius, and the others laughed.
However,the Marauderswould not have been laughing if they had known that they were about to be rudely interrupted by someone they definitely did not want to see.
From a few metres away from Madam Puddifoot's behind them, a voice suddenly hooked their attention.
"It is you,"
James, Remus, Sirius and Peter's faces' froze, and as they spun around, they were filled with dread.
Standing before them in the backstreet was none other than Severus Snape, wearing a twisted look of shock and accomplishment on his pasty face.
"I knew all along," he said, in a trembling and triumphant voice. "I knew it was you behindall those immature pranks at school,"
His eyes fleetingly flew to Madam Puddifoot's, then he looked back on the Marauders, leering horribly at them through curtains of lank black hair.
"I saw it all,"
Uh oh...the boys have been caught out. Must thank the lovely Ceyxa for the original 'underwear exposure' idea. I just gave it a little tweaking! Hope you folks liked it. Gwynham's a bit of a boring character, I know, but please don't complain if he seems underdeveloped, lol. He is actually very real in my mind, as I unfortunately know someone EXACTLY like him, who I've had the same trouble with lately. Ugh. Pray you don't meet anyone like him, my dears… sleazy jerk!
More from me soon. Stay tuned!