Perceptions

Chapter 1

Goku's Point Of View

A/N: This is BOATS. No, it's not a boat, it's a fanfiction. This is based on a true story. And no, I am not making this up. This really is based on a true story that's happened to me over the last week, which excuses me from the many updates I haven't, but should have done. Yay.

-o-

It should gross me out, but it doesn't at all. I am in my bed, trying to sleep, but listening to the soft sounds of love making in the next room. The thin walls make it audible, but I don't mind. It's strange.

I can hear them kiss and touch and caress and whisper soft 'I Love You's into each other's ears and against each other's necks. It's like at all how Gojyo interprets it, having sex, it's actually, more like a symphonic way of expressing love. Gojyo makes it sound like a sin, but I don't think it's like that at all.

Him and Hakkai, obviously love each other very much, so share such intimate moments practically every night. I used to cringe and over my ears with a pillow at their wild gasping and whispers and yelps, but now, it's more like sweet music that compels me to listen.

They're love is so poetic, I could drown it in. I think, touching the thin wall next to my pillow. I hear Sanzo grunt next to me and over his head with a pillow. Maybe he'll understand soon enough.

I thought nothing could come between those two. Hakkai and Gojyo, were perfect together in so many ways. They're personalities meshed well together, one could be dominant and one could be submissive, and switch off depending on moods.

Maybe I've been watching them too much, listening to their words of expression and being exposed to it, that I long for something like that.

Sanzo and I used to have that.

But, something didn't fit, and it still hurts in ways I can't comprehend. I don't want him back, but in someways I do and, I want him to love me back. I want him to feel mutual. I want our friendship to go back to how it was.

And, it hurts knowing that won't happen anytime soon.

But, all good things must come to an end. That's what Hakkai used to tell me. He doesn't say it anymore, probably because he doesn't want to jynx his "good thing", Gojyo.

I liked that piece of advice up until now.

I looked up to Hakkai and Gojyo's relationship for hope, that maybe Sanzo and I could go back to the same ways.

But, sticking to the piece of advice, all good things must come to an end...all good things must come to an end.

I got up out of bed, and walked to the door after two hours of non-stop thinking. I needed a snack. Too much thinking left me hungry. Sanzo wasn't in his bed when I went downstairs to the kitchen. Perhaps he went to the bathroom.

And I thought nothing of it.

I went down to the kitchen, and pulled out a sandwich somebody had left behind. It was mine now. I thought with a grin. I started my walk back up to bed, until I heard some whispering out on the porch. I walked more towards the window to see what was going on.

I wished I was minding my own business.

Then, all my hope was shattered. As if the sandwich that has splattered all over the floor, was my last bit of hope of anything. I wanted to scream.

" You know I love you." Sanzo said, hugging Hakkai tighter.

" I know." Hakkai smiled softly.

" So, why do you insist staying with that kappa?"

Hakkai went silent. Sanzo grumbled. My eyes widened. I managed to stay quiet and went back upstairs to my room, heartbroken, empty and used.

Should I tell Gojyo? Can I tell Gojyo?

No, that wasn't the love I felt so strongly about between my two friends, Hakkai and Gojyo.

My hope in love, in relationships, had all gone down the drain. Maybe, Hakkai was right. Maybe those words he used to say all the time, were just some joke. I didn't believe in them. I believed things could last, but not anymore. I don't know what I can believe in anymore.

-o-

A/N: That IS the end. Unless something else happens. And just as a little note, I am supposed to be represented as Goku.