Note: Anything in capital letters means the audience is saying it. The only exception is when it is not in quotation marks.

"All right, put that away, sonny." The Inspector walked up to the camera and covers it with his hand. The cameraman, incensed, punches the inspector, but the inspector dodges the punch and pulls off the lens. Believe me, this happened. You just couldn't see it. The cameraman pulls out the film and runs away to Hollywood.

But what happened after? I was an eyewitness at the event. I was one of the soldiers who went to besiege the French castle. We watched sadly as the car drove away over the horizon. And thus, the Great Quest began: The Quest to Save the King and His Knights and then "GET ON WITH IT!!!" Let Him Complete the Quest for the Holy Grail. Yes, I know, it's a long name.

Anyway, where was I? So we mounted or coconuts (er…I mean horses) and rode away in the direction of the car. And we rode for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles. "GET ON WITH IT!!!!" Shut up you stupid bastards. Anyway, damn it, you made me forget where I was. Hmmm.

INTERMISSION

Oh, yes, I remember. So miles and miles and umm. Yes that's the end of the story. Oops, I forgot to tell you the part about the quest didn't I?

So, we arrived at a small castle in the countryside. And went to the gate. "Hello?" called the leader of our quest, "Have you seen a black automobile drive by?"

A guard appeared at the edge of the castle. This guard was obviously familiar to Patsy who joined the quest when we passed by the place of his abandonment. Patsy was utterly shocked and took his coconut halves and threw them at the guard. The guard dodged the first one and was hit in the head with the other one.

"Hey! Why the hell are you-" the guard paused. He realized what had been thrown on him. "Where'd you get the coconuts?"

"Oh, shit," said Patsy, "Not him again."

"England," began the guard, "Is a temperate zone. How'd you get the coconuts?"

"Shut up you two," I exclaimed, "Have you seen this automobile we speak of?"

"My lord found'em," replied Patsy.

"Where the hell do you find coconuts in England?"

"Would the two of you just shut you're bloody mouths?" I screamed.

"Maybe it migrated," suggested Patsy.

"Now you've started talking about this coconut migration rubbish!" said the guard, "Now you're going to tell me that a swallow carried it."

"How'd you guess. African or European?"

"Does it matter? They both weigh less then a coconut."

"Not really."

A second guard appeared on the edge of the castle. "It could have been tied on a line and carried by two swallows," said the guard.

Suddenly, the clouds above opened. "I am God!" came a voice.

"Yes, but who would tie it?" asked the first guard.

"I said, I am God!"

Everyone in our quest knelt in front of the Lord. "I thought I told you, Patsy, not to grovel. I can't stand all of this sick "I love the Lord" attitude, damn it! Yes, you did just hear God swear!"

"Well," said the second guard, "One of the swallows could have tied it on the other with his beak."

"I have heard this argument way too much," said God, "Since this film has such a low budget, there are no horses in it. And these two guards are obsessed with annoying the shit out of any passersby who happens to be riding on a coconut. I mean steed. It is time to put an end to this!"

Suddenly, from the sky came a faint, green glow. Inside the glow was a cute little bunny rabbit it jumped out of the sky and landed on top of one of the guards. The rabbit opened it's mouth to reveal many hideous, long teeth. It opened it's mouth wide and ate the guard alive. It then attacked the second one and ate every last bone.

"Run!" someone shouted, "It's back from the dead!"

Could there be a more convenient time for Brother Maynard now? I wondered.