Harry Potter and the Purple Bullseye

by Goddess of Spite

Standard Disclaimers Apply. All familiar intellectual property is copyrighted by J.K. Rowlign and Warner Brother's Entertainment. All except for the five muggles. They're real people... no, really. I actually know people like them. Unfortunately.

Author's Note: I would like to thank my lovely lovely Beta who put SOOOOO much of her own brains and contributions into making this and every chapter perfect. READ her fic, too!It's called 'Harry Potter and The New Neighbour', and I'm in it...Can you guess who I am?

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Chapter 1. And the Lord Said, "Aw…fuck it."

There comes a point, in a person's life, when he or she thinks to themselves that the situation they are in is so bizarre that God, no matter how mysterious the preachers claim His ways are, had to have made some kind of huge mistake.

This little anecdote is about one of those times.

And, yes, it is an aneccdote, not a full-blown story, simply because it starts at no special time in general. Not at the beginning, at the characters' births. Not at the end, with some crucial character dying but, rather, it starts with a wrong turn. Somewhere in that huge cosmic machine that tells everything what 'to do'.... something 'didn't'.

Like most mistakes, it starts without a warning, a 'Hello', or 'Excuse me', or 'If you please'. The five main characters were not born with cursed legacies, are not members of any royal family, don't have interesting shaped scars ANYWHERE on their members and have no deadly allergies to red apples or spindle needles.

Rather, their heroic qualities stem from something a lot deeper and a lot less mysterious: a whole lot of nerve and the belief that they're immortal.

Which should clue you into the fact that they're teenagers, of course.

Our anecdote is about five young ladies with a friendship so strong it shaped and saved them. So first we must describe these young ladies, and the fact that they were walking arm in arm on that fateful night, makes our job all the easier…well, all except for Donia. She was getting a piggyback ride on Sarah.

But, we'll start with Stephanie.

Furthest on the left and the eldest of their number, eighteen-year-old Stephanie Lalonde was popular, charming, intelligent and gorgeous. With scarlet hair, coiling to her shoulders in tight, erotic curls, flawless alabaster skin, bloody lips and eyes so vivid blue they reminded her various ex-boyfriends of Bunsen flames, she could have been the star of a seductive vampire movie, without additional make-up. Underneath the heavy, dark blue school coat she wore was a white shirt that was never buttoned high enough to hide her lacey, black bra and a schoolgirl's kilt that was so short it could've passed for a belt. If one looked straight into her face, one would get the distinct impression that she knew exactly what made the men of this world fall to their knees and wasn't afraid to use it. Yet, if anyone were to mistake this siren for a sex-driven bimbo, the prefect badge that hung on her breast pocket would have corrected that notion straight away. Stephanie was no slutty bimbo; she was a vixen, a cunning animal in human form.

The subject of animals would turn our little inspection to the girl walking on Stephanie's right, Katherine Gale Dubois. She was armed against the frigid, early-winter night with the same heavy dark blue coat which had always been a staple in the wardrobe of English schools, but beneath it was a longer kilt, to just above knee length and a shirt with rolled up leaves, done up to the neck with a properly tied tie. Yet, this image would not be complete without mentioning the various badges pined to her tie. One badge courageously stated, "Animal Rights Activist." Another said, "Greenpeace Rulz" while a third, that Donia had picked out for her, read, "Save the planet. Kill yourself." Hanging from her neck was a homemade hemp necklace with a silver dolphin hanging from it and a little pin, shaped like a 'Peace' sign clung lovingly to her collar.

If there were one word to describe Katherine's physical appearance, though, it would be 'cute'. She was petite, nowhere as tall as super-model Stephanie, but with the figure of a ballerina. Shoulder length gold hair as straight as her character, but with a fun curl at the ends and huge, strangely open-hearted eyes that still managed to retain a smudge of enigma, mysterious without trying to be; they were honey-gold in the sunlight and a dark-pool green-gray on cloudier days.

Heart-shaped, dusty-rose mouth in a heart-shaped, sweet face, Katherine was enthusiastic and striving and optimistic, a regular firecracker, someone who had the strength of spirit to change the world and heal it… if she didn't lose her temper with the entire damned situation and blow it up, first!

Next in line was Jessica. Ah, Jessica Frey; a scholar to the bone. A relisher of Greek and Roman mythology and its dramatics, seventeen year old Jessica Marie Frey was a romantic through and through, with amazing brains for literature and history and a vast sympathy for the twisting labyrinth of human emotion. Jess was a poet, a writer, her skull filled with beautiful images and words and feelings and ideals and…and…and… not much reality. Jessica was a believer in heroes, right and wrong, bravery and good and justice. She was the most moral of her friends, yet also the most sympathetic to their regular lack of morality. She believed that inwardly, everyone was innocent and that people just fell from grace due to inborn weakness…some more than others, she was currently thinking, looking to her right.

Her angsty vulnerability came through in her appearance and gave her a graceful attraction that is usually attributed to weeping willows. She had expressive, innocent, MASSIVE, pearlescent blue eyes, so different from Stephanie's burning sapphires but still so beautiful, the way they seemed constantly on the verge of tears. Her hair was possessed a naughty-angel flip at the chin, like Josie and the Pussycats, especially since it was the same shade of orange. Freckles dotted her pretty, round face and a small smiling doll's mouth finished off the effect brilliantly. What with her tiny, compact package of five foot two and her general quiet delicacy, Jessica seemed ready to play a perfect Juliet to someone's Romeo.

To her right, came the burdened Sarah Ogle. The tallest of all five and the second eldest, Sarah was eighteen and currently enjoying her second childhood. As a tall, blond amazon with silver-blue eyes and creamy skin, Sarah might have done well trying to be average.

Yet, much to the chagrin of her prim and proper parents, Sarah had not grown into the type that 'average' and 'normal' appealed to. She was eccentric, to say the least, prone to sarcasm, pranks and tricks, horror movies that were so bad they mocked their audiences and bouts of chaotic craziness where she just needed to be shit-disturber for no apparent reason. She reveled in being annoying and was an expert at lightening dark moods. She was popular and unpopular, at the same time, at school, being great for a laugh if you weren't the center of her merciless attentions.

At first, Sarah gave off the impression that absolutely nothing but a childish desire for fun and lack of responsibility ran through her mind, but her friends knew better. She was capable of a quiet sensitivity and nurturing that astounded them when it surgbfaced. So, they kept her around, knowing the truth about her. She was an elemental lover of fun, not an idiot.

In fact, the person she was currently carrying had the notion that maybe Sarah was the one who had it right, out of all of them.

The youngest of them all and yet the most 'experienced', in many ways was Donia Sawwan. Donia wasn't originally English, in case you couldn't tell by the name. Her parents were…Eastern, she refused to say from where. She had a dark olive complexion, in contrast to her friends', and thick black hair that fell in malicious waves to her waste. She had large, almond shaped eyes which were such a surprising shade of clear, light green, they somehow looked inhuman. They never darkened, and no matter what the lighting was like they always seemed to pick up a glow so that her pupils always seemed too small, like a cat's.

She came from a rich family, and telling from the golden pendant hanging from her neck, she had been born with some kind of title. Her attitude was fitting for such a theory; she was demanding and vain all the time, but so passionate and powerful that most people were too busy getting over the dramatic entrance to stop her getting whatever she wanted. She had an immense hatred for stupid people, but couldn't stand smart-asses, quickly lost patience with timid people even though arrogant bastards made her blood boil too. She loathed goody-two-shoes, but detested no-good-for-nothing low scumbags who lived by no code. She swore like a sailor, swaggered like a prince and could deal out punches likes mules could kick. With a flare for vigilante justice, Donia was a bully who you couldn't help but like anyway, simply because she was so indefensibly obnoxious.

Besides, she led the school rock band. Just because she wasn't famous yet, didn't mean that she couldn't behave like she was.

"Why can't you frickin' walk the rest of the way? We were all at rehearsal; we're all tired too!" puffed Sarah.

"Why can't you carry me the rest of the way?" Doniademandedfrom over Sarah's shoulder. "It's only another block to our street."

"Really, you spoilt brat." Despite her harsh critisim, Katiewas laughing. "You're perfectly capable of walking. I don't believe for an instant that you twisted your ankle back at the school gate."

"How can you prove that? You can't feel my pain!" Donia retortedindignantly.

Sarah muttered under her breath: "We can't feel your lack of pain, either."

"Quiet, you!" Donia smacked her. "I will not have my ride talk back to me."

"Your…ride…" sputtered Sarah. "Your… I'm just going to put you down right here!"

Strong Sarah bent her great knees and gently lowered Donia to the ground despite the noisy protestations.

"How dare you!" howled Donia.

"Hush!" hissed Stephanie. Katie and Jess werein the midst of fits of hysterical giggles.

"Don't hush me! I've been unhorsed!"

"Who are you calling a horse!" snapped Sarah. Katie's laughter exploded.

Steph shook her head. "Really this is so typical."

"Come one, let's go. Let's see how the princess fends for herself, eh?" snarled Sarah.

"Don't you dare leave me! I'll scream my lungs out, I will!" Donia shrieked, her voice rising to a screeching pitch. Lights in the houses around them began to come on.

"Oh do shut up, Donia!" Jess hissed with urgency as the others collectively hushed and hissed in panic. "The lights!" Try as she might, Katie was still snorting with laughter.

"You're walking away with my ride! I'll cry 'Thief'! Heck, I might as well cry 'Rape' and get you all arrested!" answered Donia loudly.

"Who's there?" came a sleepy man's voice from an open doorway across the street.

"Oh for the love of God!" sobbed Sarah bending down and giving Donia a piggy-back again.

"Let's get out of here!" whispered Katie, her laughter dying. "Hurry! I know another way, through this garden."

"Help! Call the police!" screamed Donia. "My name is Seemore! Second name Rectums! These people are kidnapping me!"

Her friends howled with laughter as they ran through somebody's vegetable patch, forded a half-frozen stream and came out on the other end of town.

"Oh good lord!" panted Jess. "Why is it that we alwaysalmost get arrested because of your mouth."

"Seemore Rectums….?" Stephanie repeated in wonder and Katie burst out laughing again. "Seemore…Rectums…"

"Why…am…I…y-y-your…friend?" panted Sarah, letting go of one of Donia's legs and clutching the stitch in her side.

"Coz life would be much more monotone without me."

There was a silence as they all thought about this.

"You're still an arrogant bitch," murmured Sarah, but her tone was loving.

"Yours is not to question why, yours is simply to do or die! Now mush!" cried Donia pointing ahead and bouncing up and down against Sarah's back.

"That way?" asked Jess worriedly.

"I don't know." The princess on her steed shrugged withthe lazy abandon of a rocker punk. "I have no sense of direction."

"Then shut up and let those of us who know what their doing sort this mess out." Katie smiled in the dark. "Steph, this stream and these oak trees would tell me that we're on the west end of town. So we haven't strayed very far, but I have no idea what the clearer path back to the streets would be…"

Stephanie considered the advice seriously for a moment. "Well, let's follow the stream for a while, to skirt the police cars that have probably accumulated around Knutt's Street, and head towards Privet Drive."

Jess squinted up at the street signthat sat on the lamp post onthe farcorner at the endof the street. She couldn't read the name for the phosphoresent glow of the light. "That's a good idea. Privet Drive is always quiet around this type of night. The police are never down there." She paused for a moment then groaned loudly.

"What is it, Jess?" asked Katie worriedly, asthe othersturned to look at her.

Jess howled. "It's happened!"

"What's happened?" asked Sarah concerned.

"I'm running from the police! And it's all Donia's fault!"

More of their laughter filled the empty night air.

"You sound as if you've lived in constant fear of this for a while now!" said Katie.

"I've lived in constant fear of this ever since we met Princess Donia," said Sarah, joggling her burden. "Eh Princess? You hear? We think you're a bit of a tyrant and we're planning a coup!"

No reply. Donia's head lolled limply around on Sarah's shoulder.

"Oh I say!" murmured Katie getting a closer look at Donia's face. "She really must have been tired. She's fallen asleep."

"Oh fuck!" snapped Sarah. "I was going to drop her the nearest chance I got."

"You can still drop her," suggested Jess maliciously.

"Naaaw…" shrugged Sarah gently. "I do love the monster. Despite the hell she puts me through."

They began to trudge on towards the distant lights of street lamps on Privet Drive. Katie eventually broke the silence andsaid, "You know, she mightn't even be really asleep. She can be quite an actress, at times. I still don't believe she twisted her ankle at all."

"We'll have to see tomorrow, when she's in school."Stephanie pushed back a branch to let them all pass. "Speaking of school, how did your presentation on Canadian Baby Seals go, Kate?"

The night seemed to suddenly darken around them. Sarah looked up at the sky sharply, as if expecting the sudden flash of lightning usually associated with the clash of titans in the heavens.

"Not so good, huh?" stuttered Jess hesitantly. Katie took a deep, frustrated breath.

"What happened?" asked Steph.

"I don't understand how people can look into a baby seal's eyes and not want to stop it from being killed!" raged Katie, armsflailing dangerously. Sarah and Jess leapt out of the way and Steph steped back slightly, giving her a wide arena for damage. "I mean! I picked a cute animal for my presentation! A cute animal like you told me to, Jess…"

"Yes, yes…" murmured Jess soothingly as Steph nodded encouragingly in the background.

"…I mean," Katie continued the tirade. "It's not like I picked the Naked Mal-rat or the Slimy-Sea Wallaby…"

"Are those native to Earth?" whispered Sarah, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"Of course they are!" snapped Steph sharply. "If Katie had moved on to trying to save Mars, she would have told us!"

"…I just don't know what to do." Katie wound down with a depressed sigh. "Why are people so indifferent to bad things happening to our planet?" she asked, sounding a little heartbroken.

"Oh, Kate," breathed Jess sadly clutching her arm with thick, bright pink mittens. "They're not indifferent…they're just…in denial. People want to do the right thing, they just…procrastinate, first."

"I hope you're right, Jess. I hope so, because I can fight denial, but I can't fight indifference."

"Well, you seemed to be the only class that carried on past the ringing of the school bell." said Steph coming forward.

"Yeah," Sarah joined the conversation. "We tuned the guitars and plugged them into the amps and everything then waited a whole hour before you showed up. You must have been doing something right, if they stayed after school so long."

"Yes, exactly." Said Steph. "What did you say?"

There was a moment's silence and Katie's face went fire-engine red with wrath. The tone of voice she spoke with next reminded Sarah of Clint Eastwood, ready to draw his gun in a face off, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' style.

"I told them," Kate snarled. "That if they didn't sit their useless hides down in those seats and hear me out I was going to demonstrate the clubbing and skinning of baby seals on all of their mangy, cheap skins personally and with expert workmanship, the no-good, snot-nosed, Playstation- wielding buggers!"

Silence.

"Well, Katie, I hope I'm never on the wrong side of you in a fight," Snorted Sarah as Steph and Jess stood there dumbfounded.

Then suddenlySarah's face contorted.

"My shoulder's wet! Why is my shoulder wet?" she stammered turning the shoulder in question to Katie. It was the one Donia had her head on.

"She's drooled all over you, Sarah." Katie sounded a great deal more chipper than she had a moment ago.

"Aaaaaw! That's disgusting!" wailed Sarah. "The things I do for my friends!"

Their laughter echoed across the deserted pavement of Privet Drive, along with the lonely 'clop-clop' of their heels. The lampposts reflected green off the pavement, the light holding surrounded forts amidst oceans of darkness. Walking down the silent lane, they talked about the houses around them, how sterile and tidy they looked (except for turned up flowerbed and the hot low-slung violet race car in the driveway of number three), and how this neighborhood was prestigious and snooty in comparison with their own, which was odd, since their families were a middle class and Privet Drive housed high working class families. Sarah commented on how the sterility and frigidity, the immaculate lawns and anally arranged flowerbeds, the tightly drawn curtains, might be a sign of those uncomfortable with who they were…especially the number four Privet Drive people. The mother…what was her name again?

Petunia, Katie interjected.

Ah, yes, Petunia. Odd woman. Always jittery. Well, anyway…

They got to the end of the street and Katie skipped all the way around the last lamppost once, as she always did when they came down Privet Drive, then finally turned the corner to go down Centre Street, to cut across the neighborhood. It wasn't really a street, but a rather wide alleyway for waste disposal at the back of the town's largestfactories, which branched off into other miniature, dark alleyways, generally ending in dead ends.

The girls had no fear walking down it, though, since nothing of worth ever really happened inLittle Whinging, and no danger beyond some elaborately planned school prank was bound to meet them. Even that was far-fetched, as at the momentno one pranked Sarah Ogle and her friends unless they wanted to start an all out pranks war...out of which Sarah would definitely emerge the victor.

"-so I told the stupid bugger to go to hell, really." Steph was talking about her latest messy break-up with her latest handsome and popular beaux. Donia had a theory that boys to Steph were like cars to insanely rich, young men. You kept it until a new and improved, shinier model came along. "I don't know what's wrong with men these days. They're all selfish and childish and immature."

"I agree." Sarah absent-mindedly fingered a fake-blood capsule in her coat pocket that Prefect-Steph (as opposed to friend-Steph who would just shake her head) would probably be obliged to give her a detention for later.

"Well, maybe what you need is an older man, Steph. Someone in their twenties maybe?" suggested Jess tentatively. She really didn't know about relationships. She'd never really had one.

"Timothy was in his twenties,"Steph snipped. "He was as selfish and childish as the rest. Can you believe how he tried to guilt-trip me while we were breaking up? Well, where the hell was he when I needed him? Where the hell was he when…"

"Alright, maybe you need someone even older than that,"Katieinteruppted the familliar tirade,pulling her coat closer around her against the cold October wind. "You're eighteen…it's legal…I think."

"Oh, Katie, I don't know if that'll solve anything. I think it's an entire generation of men that's rank with childishness, really." Steph sighed. "I'm so tired of wearing the pants in relationships. I want someone with brains! A sharp wit…that can cut with a knife!"

"I thought Jess was the epic poet," hissed Sarah, rolling her eyes with irritation. Katie elbowed her subtly.

"I want a man!" continued Steph, heedless. "A real man, not a boy! Why are they so hard to find? Our mothers married them!"

"I really think this whole love thing a stupid waste of time," said Sarah, non-chalantly. "You'll never catch me wasting my time moping over the males of our species, I assure you that, ladies."

"I want someone dark! And brooding! And …and…controlling! Someone with a personality and interests more intellectual than MarioSmash Brothers Super Smash!"

"I like Super Mario Smash Brothers…" pouted Katie,getting an addict's sudden craving to clutch a control system.

"Well, I don't!" snapped Steph and a huge argument would have insued had Jess not suddenly interjected, stepping between the both of them.

"Shhhhhh!" she hissed suddenly. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Katie paused to listen.

They all listened.

The voices were coming from the dark mouth of the alleyway they were standing next to.

"That alley's a dud. There's a wall at the end of it. Why would anyone be down there at this time of night?" muttered Sarah.

"Let's go!" begged Jess suddenly. "I'm getting the chills…I feel weird…let's just leave, please."

"No! This might be interesting!" Sarah's eyes shone, suddenly. "It might be Ken Shelley and Emily Collins making out! Or it might be Chris and Jason planning some sort of joke for school! If they are, I want in on it!"

"Sarah! Wait... what about Donia? Sarah?!" hissed Jess furiously as the other girl stealthily set off down the alleyway. Katie, Steph and Jess gave each other a worried look, then followed her.

As they came around a bend in the alleyway, the quiet murmur of voices suddenly unfolded with the image.

Two men were talking in the alleyway. One wason his knees with his back to the dead end wall.The other, a cloaked andtowering giant of what must have beenalmost seven feet, standing before the man on his knees, with his back to the approaching girls.

"What the hell's going on, here?" whispered Katie, a frown creasing her brow, as she stepped forward to get a closer look at the situation.

Jess grabbed her arm and murmured. "Let's just leave!"

"Yeah, I think that one on his knees is givin' the tall bugger head or something, and I'd rather not see that, thanks…" muttered Sarah turning to go.

"Shut up,"demanded a quiet voice they hadn't heard for a while.

They turned to Sarah to find that Donia was awake, her eyes shining slightly in the dark, looming like a crouching gargoyle on Sarah's back, staring towards the two men with extended neck and narrowed eyes as she eavesdropped.

"YOU!" sputtered Sarah. "You're…awake!"

"Yes, that I am." answered Donia distractedly, still listening to the two men talking. Thier conversation was infinately more interesting than the babbling of her friends.

"You drooled on me!" snarled Sarah furiously.

"It was for effect. You wouldn't have carried me this far if you hadn't believed I was asleep. Now, shush and listen. Haven't you heard what he's said? We may be in big trouble if we're seen."

The others instantly quieted down. If Donia, who had a rather unbalanced idea of what trouble was, admitted that they had a problem, then it usually meant they had a huge problem. They spent the next minute or so, frozen, listening to the snatches of conversation floating towards them.

"…I might have spared you, Arthur, had you relented the boy's location to me." The cloaked figure sneered. His voice was oddly guttural and breathy, bubbly as if he had a blight in his lungs. Katie couldn't help gagging as she heard him speak.

The man on his knees pushed back the glasses on his nose with a shaking hand. He was dirty, bruised and exhausted, as if he'd just been roughed up pretty badly. His bright orange hair wasplastered to his forehead with sweat.

Yet, he looked up at the cloaked figure bravely and said, "You know where he is. It's October. He's at Hogwarts like he alwaysis at this time of year, every year. And you can't reach him…"

"Why, then, do you and your pathetic 'Order' stalk the streets of his summer home?" laughed the cloaked figure pointing a funny looking wooden stick, about the length of a long, thick , chop-stick, at the red-headed man Arthur. "Veritas!" He wheezed.

For a moment nothing happened and Jess began to speak, saying, "Is that Latin…?" which was followed by four other "shhhhhh!"s. Then, suddenly a horrible blue-white light shot out of the end of the funny-looking chopstick and struck Arthur in the chest. He cried out and gritted his teeth, his back arching painfully then he straightened and faced the cloaked figure as if invisible hands were forcing him to look his assailant in the eye.

The girls gasped collectively and Jess screamed. They would have been discovered had Steph not put her hand quickly over her friend's mouth. Sarah felt Donia's arm tighten around her shoulders with fear and squeezed her friend's ankle steadfastly.

"He's… he's torturing him!" Katie whispered in angry disbelief, taking another step forward.

But the man, Arthur, seemed to be oddly in control of the situation. His jaw was clenched, the veins in his temples throbbing but his eyes were wide, and defiant and angry as he faced the man with the stick.

"Is the Potter boy here?" asked the cloaked figure.

"No, he's not," laughed Arthur without mirth.

"Where is the boy?"

"At Hogwarts, like I told you before."

The cloaked figure snarled wordlessly with defeat and the defiant gleam in Arthur's eyes spread into a weak smile even though the whitish blue light shooting out of the other man's chopstick was still hitting him squarely in the chest.

"Why are the Order of the Phoenix here, then?" hissed the cloaked man furiously.

Arthur laughed again. "Because…because you were sighted! We got reports that you were in the vicinity and we came to see what you were up to!" he laughed again. "You've created your own wild goose chase, Voldemort! You've been chasing your own tail! Harry Potter isn't here! Nothing of importance is here! We came to see what you were up to and you thought…you thought…"

"SILENCE!" roared the one named Voldemort, enraged. "Do you expect me to believe this?"

"I'm under the Veritas curse; I can't exactly lie." Arthur's words werebecoming weak, his eyes becoming unfocused. "Now…if you're…going…going to kill me…do it now…or leave…don't waste anymore of my time…please..."

"It is you who have wasted my time, muggle-lover!" screeched Voldemort, pulling the funny chopstick away from Arthur. The horrible painful looking bluey white light vanished with a crackle. "I should have ended your pathetic life long before tonight, you miserable man! You and your entire, disgraceful brood…"

"You leave my family alone!" yelled Arthur sitting up from the heap he'd collapsed into when the light had dropped him.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Steph was murmuring in sympathetic horror. The others were frozen, over-whelmed with what they'd stumbled into.

"I cannot think of a time when you did not infringe upon my plans, Arthur. You and your pathetic Order," said Voldemort with disgust. "It shall be a heavy blow wielded against Dumbledore tonight, and a great pleasure for me to finally eradicate you." The girls saw him raise the dangerous chopstick again and they collectively began shaking their heads in panicked denial. "Then I shall slowly pick off your offspring one by one, starting with the eldest. Perhaps I'll leave your wife for the very end, so she can watch all her children dropping like the flies that they are…"

"BASTARD!" screamed Arthur scrambling forward weakly on his hands and knees.

"Or maybe I'll save your youngest son till the very last…to savour and kill slowly, since he and his friend… Potter, have caused me so much trouble…" the cloaked man chuckled evilly, his grip tightening on his stick as he got ready to shoot Arthur with it again.

"No!" breathed Katie. "No! This can't be happening! I won't let this happen! I can't let this happen! I can't let this happen! I can't let this happen!"

Jess turned around, ready to run out of the alleyway in a panic. To her horror, she discovered that they'd been blocked into the alley by two other cloaked figures, both of which held funny looking chopsticks.

"Good bye, Arthur. Say hello to the Potters for me," hissed Voldemort.

Everything that happened nextwas in a blur of motion that,to this day, cannot be totally unraveled by the poor girls.

The one thing that they do remember, though was the fact that it was little 'Itty-Bitty-Kitty' Dubois who struck the first blow against evil.

With a blood-curdling scream of outrage Katie had launched herself, very much like an angry, pouncing feline, at the tall cloaked figure of Voldemort. She managed toknock him over completely as a bright green neon light shot out of his chopstick at Arthur. The result was that the shot wentwide and struck the wall behind the kneeling man, shattering it into thousands of flying pieces of rubble. The acrid stench of sulfer filled the alley.

At the exact same instant, the other two cloaked figures had thrown back their hoods and raised their chopsticks, aiming them at the other four girls. One was tall woman, with a once beautiful but now withered face, long, black hair and a maddened, savage gleam in her eyes.

The other was an equally tall man, with beautifully kept, long white-blond hair and a pointy, sneeringpale face.

The woman jumped forward and grabbed Jess, who was the nearest to them, by the arm, twisting horribly behind her back until the girl shrieked with pain. "I'll 'Kedavra' this one, Lucius!" cackled the woman, spittle flying from her mouth.

"Fine, Bellatrix," he smiled eagerly. "I'll get the fat one." He turned to Sarah.

"Filthy muggle!" screamed Voldemort behind them. Donia twisted her neck around and saw that he'd gotten Katie by the throat and was beginning to squeeze softly as he lifted her off the ground. She was flailing and kicking like a bat from hell, but her face was starting to go a deep purple already. "If you had any amount of brains you would flee!"

Arthur rose to his feet trying to help her, but all it took was one well-aimed swipe from the cloaked monster's free arm to down him once again like a tonne of bricks. His head cracked grotesquely off the pavement and he lay still. Donia saw a small pool of blood was blossomingwhere he lay.

This is it, thought Donia. If we don't move now we're all fucking dead…

Steph might have gotten the same idea in her head, because in the very next instant, with a howl of anger, she had run at the woman Bellatrix and leapt onto her back, wrapping her legs around the woman's waist and wrapping her hands around Bellatrix's neck.

Jess took this opportunity to bite the hand that held her so hard she took a chunk off it, spat it out, then kicked as hard as she could at Bellatrix's legs. The woman yowled miserably like a mangy mog and flailed madly as Steph grabbed handfuls of her hair and began ripping savagely at it, pulling it out in bloody clumps, screaming, "You ugly! Wrinkled! Arrogant! Bitch! You delusional! Menopausal CUNT! No one but ME'll be doing any KILLING tonight! How dare you! How dare you threaten us! And scare us! And try to kill US! How dare you twist Jess's arm like that! I'll fucking KILL YOU ALL!"

Meanwhile, the blond man, Lucius, had been just about to bring his chopstick down on Sarah when, with a quiet 'whoosh' of air, Donia sprang off her friend's back and dove to the ground, rolling to her feet. Her movement distracted him for a moment only, but it was enough to give Sarah a chance to knock his hand away from herself.

With an annoyed growl, he grabbed the girl's hair with his other hand, pulling her backwards so far she had to go down on her knees to prevent herself from falling over. He raised his chopstick again, aiming at her throat, this time, and cried, "Avada Keda--" then gave a choked off cry as something whistled through the air and nailed him smack in the throat.

He dropped Sarah and staggered back, clutching his neck and making sounds very like a cat hacking up a hairball. Heregained his balance and turned his hate-saturated gaze towards the smirking and collected source of flying missiles.

"Liked that, didn't you?"Donia threw a piece of rock up into the air and caught it again. Then, without so much as another warning, she'd planted her feet squarely on to the ground and the rock went shooting towards Lucius, smacking him right between the eyes.

She kept going, too, bending down to pick up handfuls of the shattered wall and raining them around the alley on to Bellatrix and Katie's assailant, what was his name again? Mouldywart? Ah, Voldemort… Her aim was phenomenal and the strength and speed with which those rocks were flying, impressive to say the least. She could throw with the full force of her entire body behind her arm and her malicious mind and vengefulness directed her hand toward the smaller, sharper rocks, rather than the heavier, blunt ones that wouldn't fly fast or far.

Of all the five girls, it was Donia who'd had the most experience with school-yard brawls, and she didn't see this as much different. You kept your head, you played dirty, and you didn't stop until the opposition was either unconscious or running home with his tail tucked firmly between his legs.

Bellatrix shrieked and went down, Jess and Steph on top of her, ripping, pulling and scratching at her face, crazed by their fear. Lucius too, was knocked off his feet again by the flying rocks. But there was no respite for him on the alley's floor.

Sarah was waiting for him. She eagerly kicked, and kicked again hissing, "This is for calling me fat, you classless shite-eater…"

But a cry of despair distracted her from her fun. She turned to see a horrified Donia desperately throwing rocks at Voldemort to no avail. Katie wouldn't last much longer in his hands. Just as Sarah was thinking this, she saw Donia abandon her missiles and race towards him, grabbing the end of his cloak and pulling with all her might.

She managed to make him stagger back a few steps and drop the suffocating Katie before the entire thing tore, releasing him and revealing what lay underneath the cloak.

A mummified, gaunt face, hairless, noseless and lipless turned towards Donia, eyes large and red as if they were bleeding, with utter and complete loathing coming off him in waves.

"Waaa!" cried Donia in shock more than fear. Then her face contorted into an expression somewhere between disgust and embarrassment on his behalf and she said, "Er…Mr. Phantom, sir? The Opera's in France…"

"Why, you!" he screeched coming towards her, his hands out-stretched like an image from a black and white horror movie.

Donia's mirth vanished and was replaced by pure panic as she backed away from him hurriedly, still clutching his torn cloak, until her back hit the alley wall. He was obviously relishing her terror, walking towards her slowly and deliberately. Katie was still clutching her throat and making weak noises of protest as she tried to scramble towards him, but she wasn't fast or recovered enough to do anything yet.

Donia saw that she'd have to get out of this alone and began to frantically look around her for a way to defend herself. She spotted a length of loose cable piping coming out of the wall next to her head and, in a flash, with all her might, she had grabbed it, braced her feet against the wall and ripped it out by the roots. She stared at it in wonder at her strength; adrenaline was lovely stuff, really. Just narrow enough to get her hands around it snuggly, like a cricket bat, the pipe was about half a meter in length and made of steel.

She wasted no time at all, turning around and bringing her new weapon down across Ugly's arm as he brought up his chopstick to shoot her. Then just as fast, brought it up again and down against his back. There was a horrible 'crunch' and 'squelch' and Voldemort howled with pain and rage as he hit the alley floor.

Donia was over him in an instant, bending down to drag the coughing Katie up by the arm. "Let's get he fuck out of here!" she yelled running out between the two moaning bundles on the ground towards the alley's exit. The others got up to follow, but Donia and Katie were actually out of the alley before Katie had caught her breath enough to wheeze, "N-n-no!"

"WHAT!" shrieked Donia hysterically as Katie wrenched her arm out of her friend's firm grip. Donia's eyes widened in utter disbelief as Sarah, Steph and Jess stampeded past them out of the alleyway and into Center Street.

"I'm going back." Said Katie hoarsely.

"Oh, you're fucking kidding me, Katie…" howled Donia, "You're fucking kidding me.."

"No!" said Katie enraged. "That man, Arthur! He's still back there!"

"I don't give a flying French faggot who the fuck is still back there!" Donia was flailing with the extent of her frustration.

"I'm going back and you can do whatever the hell you want to do!" spat Katie. With that, she turned on her heel and ran back into the alley, disappearing into the darkness.

"Yooooou IDIOT!" screamed Donia tearing tufts of her own hair out.

Then she felt a breeze and heard the stomping worthy of a stampeding heard of wildebeest as her other friends shot past her into the alley again, crying, "Katie! No! Katie! Come back, honey! Come back! Katie! Katie!" in worried voices that reminded the crazed Donia of magpies.

"Oh for the love of GOD!" said Donia, her voice breaking. Then, "Well, fine! I'm going home, thanks very much!"

She turned her back on the alley and was about to leave when a scream suddenly erupted, behind her.

It was Jess's scream.

Donia could only imagine what was happening in there. She was definitely the scrapper amongst her friends. They weren't fighters, though all of them had had playground skiffs at one point or another; she was the only one out of all them who had made it a regular practice. They wouldn't do too well without her. Even if she went to call the coppers, they'd probably be dead or at least seriously hurt before she came back.

But it wasn't like she was the Mafia either! When it all came down to it, she was just a high school kid too. Albeit she could punch like a jackhammer, but those three adults in there was obviously experts.

And those chopstick things…she'd never heard of guns like those before. What the hell were they? Army-issue, or something? And that man…Voldemort…his decomposing face would give her nightmares till the end of her days…

A cat sitting on an over-flowing dustbin a little way down Center Street watched the girl with curiosity. The animal blinked its strange eyes, which were surrounded by strange square markings in the cat's fur, sensing the instinctive will to survive battle the desire to help her friends fight inside the human.

It only took Donia a moment to make up her mind, but it felt like an eternity of time she was wasting while her friends were fighting for their lives in the alley behind her. Finally, her eyes narrowed with determination and her old, courageous fire burnt in them again, as her grip tightened on her trusty metal pipe once more.

"The things I do for my friends…" she whispered, a smile playing hesitantly on her lips.

She ran back into the alley, and not a second too soon.

Steph and Jess had tangled once more with Bellatrix and Sarah was getting her arm twisted off by Lucius as he once more raised his chopstick to shoot her with it. Donia took a deep breath and flexed her powerful shoulder muscles, feeling her strength ripple down her back and arms. With the confidence of years of practice, she heaved the metal pipe over her left shoulder, gripping it with both hands and twisted her waste around till she was facing backwards the way she'd come.

She let loose like a coiled spring and the pipe went flying out her hands, with frightening speed, spinning in the air, until with a musical 'clang' it bounced off Lucius' head. Or rather, Lucius' head bounced off it, and his chopstick went sliding across the alley's floor as he landed face down in a puddle, that was unfortunately too shallow to drown him.

This freed both Donia and Sarah to help Katie who had, once more, gone after Voldemort. Again, he had their friend by the throat and was laughing wickedly as he choked and shook her relentlessly.

Donia leapt on to his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling back, trying to strangle him too. Sarah had cleverly grabbed his chopstick hand and was frantically trying to keep it pointed away from herself or her friends.

From her seven-foot tall perch, Donia saw Jess let go of Bellatrix and run towards them to help.

At the same time, though, Lucius managed to raised his head from his puddle and unsteadily get to his feet scrambling after his chopstick. He got it just as Jess was halfway between Bellatrix and Voldemort. Turning, he aimed it at the running girl, shouting, "Petrificus Totalus!"

Donia screamed as a pink ray of light shot out of the wand, striking Jess in the back. Poor Jess froze in mid-step and slammed to the ground like a plank of wood. Donia screamed again and Katie gave a pained cry of despair, either for Jess or because she was fast running out of oxygen twice in one night.

But they soon had trouble of their own.

In her shock, Donia's grip had slackened on Voldemort's neck. Sarah cried out a warning, but it was too late. Voldemort had dropped Katie against the alley wall and had reached behind him. With immense strength, he managed to fling Donia over his head and into the wall. She didn't make a sound as she slid down, head first and landed next to the sobbing Katie who wrapped protective arms around her.

Lucius pried Steph off Bellatrix by her hair and held her back long enough for Bellatrix to get the her feet and point her chopstick at the girl. "Cruciatus!" hissed the woman and a horrible purple light shot out of the chopstick, striking Steph in the chest.

The girl yelled for an instant, then, convulsing, curled up into the foetal position, shuddering uncontrollably, in too much pain to breath, let alone scream. The veins in her forehead stood out under the strain of her agony, blood oozed out of her nose. It was evident that she would soon have a stroke if no one came to her aid.

Sarah saw this and let go of Voldemort's arm, rushing to Steph's aid. Then she stopped and froze like a deer in headlights, as Lucius turned and trained his chopstick on her, his gaze full of malicious triumph.

Sarah was too scared to see her life flashing before her eyes. She was vaguely aware of a high, hysterical screaming coming from behind her, which she recognized as Katie's. It's alright, Katie, she thought gently. It's okay…please don't scream like that, dear…it's alright…it's going to be alright…

Then, like a bullet being shot through water, a voice broke through her calm haze with one word.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" cried Arthur getting to his feet unsteadily. Lucius's stick went flying out of his hand and Sarah felt breath rush back into lungs.

"Finite Incantum!" he shouted pointing his chopstick at Steph, who instantly stopped shuddering and uncurled with a sigh, her eyes closing.

"Mobiliaris!" he yelled, aiming at Jess, a white light coming out of his stick and striking her just as it had struck Steph before her.

But then, Voldemort suddenly turned on Arthur and said, "Expeliarmus!" Arthur's wand flew out of his hand. Voldemort said something else softly and Arthur fell backwards violently as if invisible hands had pulled his feet from under him. "Enough of this foolery!" hissed Voldemort. "There will be nothing left of you for you families to bury. I think it is time I took a page out of Wormtail's book…"

He raised his arms as if in prayer and a ball of electric green light surrounded his chopstick. Lucius and Bellatrix took several steps back to the farthest corners of the alley, mouths and eyes wide with eagerness. Donia opened her eyes just in time to take all this in and both she and Katie wrapped their arms around one another, gritting their teeth and hiding their face in one another's shoulders.

Sarah stood frozen once more, exhausted out of her mind, unable to think past her trauma.

Steph lay on the ground, lifeless.

And Jess ran towards Voldemort with no clear idea of what the hell she was going to do.

All that happened next happened so fast that years after it actually occurred those who had seen it happen couldn't believe the simplicity of the entire situation.

Out of nowhere, more people in stupid cloaks began popping out of thin air, appearing in the alley without so much as a puff of smoke. These new people rushed to surround Lucius and Bellatrix, who appeared panicked and afraid.

There was a young woman, not much older than Steph, with a shock of purple hair. There was a tall, black man, with a stern, handsome face and a golden ministry badge pinned to his chest and finally, a tall, ancient looking man with flowing white hair and an equally white beard, tucked into his blue belt.

Many more people began to pop into the alley until there were at least ten new-comers. "Stop!" someone yelled. "Stop in the Name of the Order of The Phoenix and the Ministry of Magic!"

"My Lord!" cried Lucius. "We must leave!"

The cat that had been watching Donia outside the alley leapt in front of him and morphed into a skinny woman with square specs on her nose and a tightly wound bun which seemed to stretch her angry eyebrows a bit.

"Wow!" breathed Donia. "I must've hit my head harder than I thought…"

"McGonagal!" hissed Bellatrix.

"Leave those children be." replied the cat-woman.

"You're just in time, Dumbledore!" laughed Voldemort, bring his arm down to point at Katie and Donia.

But when he looked back towards his two targets he found himself face to face with tiny, little Jess.

"Huh?" he breathed in surprise, seeing her look of obstinate determination. His moment of confusion cost him dearly.

Not a split second too soon, she put her hand on his glowing chopstick, gripped half of it firmly in her hand…

…and snapped it in two.

The glow died instantly with a faint, insulting 'pop!'.

Nobody moved. Nobody breathed.

Everyone stood there, staring aghast at Jess, who stood there with one half of Voldemort's stick still in her hand.

"What…just happened?" asked Katie fearfully, thinking she'd missed something.

Jess just stood there, nervously looking around at the frozen adults, expecting some sort of retaliation from somewhere soon.

Voldemort stared at her in complete shock. "The…m-m-muggle…" he stopped. Then started again. "Y-you…just BROKE …my wand…"

Silence as he and Jess looked each other in the eye, both with a look of total confusion on their face. Sarah, who was standing a way back observing this, could feel the lack of understanding flowing off both of them in waves. She let out a soft, hysterical giggle and sank to the ground, unconscious.

"Wow…" said one of the new-comers, a man with a scarred, but kind and tired face, in worn out robes and graying hair. "She…just…broke VOLDEMORT's wand…"

"I take it this is a big thing…" said Donia loudly from where she and Katie were curled up on the ground. This seemed to bring some life back into the adults, but no one moved yet. Katie whimpered discouragingly and Donia looked up to see Voldemort's rage returning to him.

"YOU BROKE MY WAND!" he screamed at Jess, who finally cracked under the pressure and cried out:

"I'm sorry it seemed like a good idea, at the time!" cowering and covering her head with her arms.

Voldemort roared with absolute rage and for a brief moment neon green flames flared up out of nowhere, dancing up and down his uplifted arms, making Jess shreik and turn to run away.

The other adults present were frozen in shocked horror. Apparently, the flame thing was new.

Voldemort hauled back and swatted Jessica across the face with such force that her lip split and she was sent hurtling back against the brick wall.Both Katie and Doniawailed as Jess' skull met the bricks with a sickening crack. The slight girl tumbled forward and before she could flop to the ground, Voldemort had her by the front of her blood-spattered school uniform and raised herface to his eye-level.

"Your impunity shall not go unrewarded, Muggle!" he snarled, baring sharp teeth.

"TOM!" the eldery man hollared and Voldemort paused, turning his head slowly to stare with widebleeding eyes at the speaker.

With an unexpected snarl,Voldemort simply let go. Jess, no longer supported by his viscious grip, dropped face-first to the pavement and stayed there. She lifted her head dazedly.

"Don't let him get away!" cried the old man with the white beard and hair, but it was too late.

"Enjoy breathing for now. When we get to you, you're dead, muggle," hissed Lucius as he ran past Jess towards the Dark Lord.

The new-comers leapt into action but the culpritswere far too fast. Bellatrix and Lucius had alreadygrabbedVoldemortand in a flash of light, they were gone as if they'd never been.

The last thing that Jess remembered before she too blacked out was the big, black man with the golden 'Auror' badge saying, "Well, this is just great. What the Hell are we supposed to do with these muggles, Dumbledore?"