Title: Heart of the Ping-Pong Paddle!
Summary: Yami may be the King of Games, but can he defeat the world champion of ping-pong (who happens to be a certain blue-eyed, dragon-loving CEO) at his own game? Maybe his title doesn't apply to all games after all… but how can he give up with something so important on the line?
Warnings: I think I have made the characters a bit OOC, but it's all in the name of fun, honest! You could probably see pairings if you squint really hard, but if it bothers you, don't squint. Also, I apparently didn't make it to the ping-pong in this chapter. Oops.
One more thing: I am not a humor writer. This is probably apparent.
Chapter 1: The door's stuck.
"Okay," said Honda. He was standing on the fire escape, peering through a window into Bakura's living room. "Here's the plan—Kaiba breaks into the apartment through this window, goes around to the storage room, gets his cards, and comes back out. Sound good?"
"I don't like the sound of that 'breaking in' part," said Anzu. "I mean, we don't want to damage Bakura's window or anything."
"Bakura said over the phone it should be okay," said Honda. "Since it is the window right by the fire escape, it's probably designed to be easy to open up or something."
"You really can't wait for Bakura to come back?" said Jounouchi. "Didn't he say he'd be home tomorrow or something?"
"I think it was Saturday," said Yuugi.
"Yeah, Saturday. In three days. You really can't wait that long?"
Kaiba glared. "I'm not leaving my cards in his apartment."
"Don't worry," said Yuugi. "Bakura-kun said they never lock this window anyway, so we won't have to actually break anything to open it."
"All the more reason to get my cards back, in case someone else gets in and decides to steal them," said Kaiba. He sounded a bit sulky.
"Fine," said Honda. "I'm opening it now, okay?"
There was general consent, though with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
"Got it!" said Honda triumphantly. "Go, Kaiba, go!"
Kaiba glared again. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He eased one long leg through the window, then the other, so he was sitting on the sill. Then he slid in.
"And he's in!" said Honda. "Watch him go!"
Kaiba made an exasperated noise, but continued on. The door to the storage room was slightly ajar, and he pushed it open further so he could get in.
As he walked through, the door closed ominously behind him, althoughfor the moment, he didn't give it further thought.
He found his deck almost immediately, perched atop the ping-pong table. There. Now he could get out of there. He turned around…
"What's taking Kaiba so long?" said Jounouchi loudly. "Did he get lost, or what?"
Angrily, Kaiba grabbed the doorknob, yanked—
—something snapped—
—and the knob refused to turn any further.
Kaiba gaped at it. He tried twisting the knob the other way, he tried pushing at the door, he tried pulling the door in…
Nothing.
Why did these things always happen to him?
Kaiba walked over to the one window in the room, which happened to be too small for him to even consider fitting through. After fiddling with the latch a few moments, he stuck his head out, only to find that the window was also conveniently located… only two windows down from the fire escape. He imagined if he managed somehow to get through the tiny window and make a wild leap, he would possibly get close enough to the fire escape stairs to brush his fingers against it… before plunging to an ignominious and unpleasant death.
Sighing, he decided to alert everyone else to his plight.
"The door's stuck," he said flatly.
"What?"
"The door. It is stuck. It doesn't open."
"Are you sure it's not locked?" said Yuugi helpfully.
"It's not locked," said Kaiba.
"The storage room door, we're talking about, right?" said Honda. "That locks from the inside."
"I know," said Kaiba, trying not to start screaming at their extreme stupidity. "I didn't lock it."
"Are you sure?" said Yuugi, helpfully again. "Even if the door's locked it can still close. I mean, what if somebody locked the door while it was open, and you didn't know because the door still closed okay when you went in…"
Kaiba sighed. "I tried locking and unlocking it," said Kaiba. "It didn't open."
"Are you sure?"
Kaiba pulled his head back in so he could massage his temples.
"Maybe we should send someone over there," said Jounouchi. "Tough guy Kaiba obviously doesn't know how to unlock a door."
"The window's kind of small," said Anzu doubtfully.
"I can probably fit," volunteered Yuugi. "And I know how to work the lock."
"There's no need," said Kaiba acidly. "The door is stuck."
Yuugi looked uncertain.
"Hey, are you sure?" said Jounouchi to Yuugi, completely ignoring Kaiba. "The window's kind of far away."
"I could give him a lift," volunteered Honda.
"There's no need," repeated Kaiba, but obviously no one was listening to him. Stupid, thick-skulled—
Kaiba's thoughts were interrupted by a scream. It was unmistakably Yuugi's.
Kaiba eagerly stuck his head out of the window to see whether or not Yuugi was dying, and whether not it was painful and gruesome. To Kaiba's partial disappointment, Yuugi was not dying, painfully or otherwise. The shorter teen gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry," he said. "I was just surprised." Honda had picked him up and lifted him a few feet into the air, which, thought Kaiba viciously, must've made a great difference for someone so short.
"Ready, Yuugi?" said Honda. "We're kind of high up…"
"Don't remind me," said Yuugi, paling.
Honda leaned over the railing to hand Yuugi over to the window. "Kaiba, a little help here?"
"I told you: the door is stuck," said Kaiba angrily. But, because he didn't want to be stuck in the room until Bakura got back from wherever he was, he reluctantly withdrew his head from the window so Yuugi could get through it. Honda just managed to get Yuugi in position to grab the windowsill, and Kaiba reluctantly helped Yuugi climb in.
"Thank you," said Yuugi cheerfully, and walked over to the door.
There was silence for a few very long, tense moments. Then he sighed and looked at Kaiba.
"You were right, Kaiba-kun," Yuugi said, cringing, sure he was in for it now. "The door's stuck."
To be continued…