Title: Control
Rating: R
Pairing: Jeff Hardy/ Chris Jericho/ Raven
Content: slash, swearing, mentions of drug use and BDSM
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters mentioned herein, and imply nothing about them, and make no profit from this.
Distribution: my lj, WWFSML, violent pretties, ffn and Hardyzfanfic. Nowhere else without permission.
Summary: When Jeff signed with TNA, someone wanted to protect him, but from who, and why?
"Scotty, we need to talk."
Chris had called up the man known as Raven as soon as he'd heard that Jeff Hardy had signed with TNA. Truth was, he'd immediately feared the worst. He knew Jeff's history with the man.
"About Jeff, right? What are you, his mother?"
"That's not fair Scotty," Chris had a pretty fair idea that the loss of his mother at an early age had contributed to the situation that Jeff found himself in. "I know you too well."
Scotty had to smile at that. Jeff wasn't the only one to have a history with the birdman. "OK, wanna meet up?"
"Yeah," Chris sighed. He didn't really want to think about what he was getting himself into here. Scott had something about him that Chris found hard to resist. The man just had an aura, a sense that he knew the effect he had on Chris and would use it to his every advantage.
"So Jericho, your place or mine?" Chris could hear the laughter behind the other man's words, the gentle teasing that he knew, once they met up, would be anything but gentle.
"Yours. I've got a few days off, I'll come to yours as soon as I'm finished with everything here." He hoped that he might get to see Jeff while he was there too. He missed the young man, they'd parted on bad terms and he wanted to do something to change that.
"Look forward to it."
As soon as Chris got off the phone he almost shook with frustration. Even Scotty's voice sent shivers down his spine and created in him a sense of longing that he knew only the Raven could sate.
Jeff was more than slightly nervous the first time he rolled up to the TNA taping. He knew what everyone would be thinking, knew he had a reputation in more ways than one. He knew who was there.
He'd grown up a lot since he'd last seen Scotty. He'd been so naïve back then. It was Raven who had introduced him to the dark side in so many ways… and in many of those ways he'd liked it. The problem had been that the dark side had taken over, had enveloped and attempted to destroy the light. It had taken for him to almost reach rock bottom for Jeff to realise what was happening, and to address and change what was destroying him.
Scotty had been the catalyst though, and Jeff had a fear that it would be very easy to go back down that road. Part of him craved that, craved that feeling, far better than any drug, that Scotty could give him. But being with Scott meant that he gave up control. And control was something that he'd spent the last six months trying to regain.
"Hey Scotty."
The harsh look left Raven's face, and he almost smiled. "Chris. Good to see you." He pulled the blonde into a hug. "Come on in."
Chris was nervous. He looked around at Scotty's home, it seemed fairly, well, normal for him. Piles of books all over the place, sparcely furnished, basic but everything Scotty needed. The older man could sense Chris' unease, and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge, motioning for Chris to sit down.
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna bite."
Chris laughed softly, "I always figured biting was the least of my worries with you."
"Hmmmm," Scotty leaned closer and gently nibbled at Chris' ear, "true. So did you come here to play, or to talk about Jeff?"
"Both." Chris had long since resigned himself to the fact that he couldn't resist the birdman.
"So which should we do first? Jeff? Or… you?"
"Don't hurt him Scotty, don't send him back there." Chris was struggling to remember why he was there, he knew he had to get this over now before everything was overtaken in a wave of passion.
"What makes you think I would? What makes you think he'd want to?" With an evil grin on his face, Scotty continued to lick and nibble at Chris' ear.
"You know you're… irresistible," Chris groaned. "Scotty, please…"
"Please what?"
"Just… touch me… please."
"What about Jeff?"
"Fuck Jeff. I need you now."
Chris hated himself, but he couldn't resist. Temptation was always too great where this man was concerned.
Jeff felt kind of relieved that he hadn't bumped into Raven yet. He knew it would come eventually, but the extra few days gave him a chance to think a bit more about how he should act, what he should do. If the man offered him anything… sex, a relationship… Jeff knew that this time he would make sure that it was on his terms. No way in hell would he go back to how he was before. No way would Scotty be able to control him like that, and no way would Jeff allow himself to sink back into the world of chemicals and stimulants that had so nearly destroyed him before.
He'd heard that Raven was clean now; whether that was true or not, he wasn't sure. He hoped so, as that might make things easier. Jeff was assuming an awful lot within this though: he still had deep feelings for Scotty, but did the older man feel the same? Jeff hadn't spoken to him since they'd split - more accurately since Jeff had run away. Some had said that Scotty was angry with him, some said that he understood. Either way, Jeff felt guilty for running away. He couldn't be entirely sure how the birdman would respond when he saw him again.
"So what about Jeff?" Scotty sat up in bed a little, resting his head on his shoulder. He was thoroughly sated after an afternoon of sex, but his ever active mind continued working.
Chris groaned, "Scotty, not now."
"Yes now. That's why you're here." Scotty wore an amused grin on his face. "However much you enjoyed what just occurred, Jeff is the reason you're here."
"Yeah, well just don't hurt him again." Chris rubbed his eyes, attempting to gain some sort of focus on the situation in hand. It was true what Scotty said, Jeff had been his main concern when he'd made the call, and then he'd let his own feelings for Scotty take over. "You took him to a dark place last time… and all I could do for him wasn't enough to bring him back to how he used to be."
"You don't think I regret introducing him to that?" Scotty's face darkened, "Chris… I never intended for him to get hooked. It was just a release after a night together, it soothed the pain. I just never realised that he'd start using to mask him wrestling injuries too. If he was only using with me, I thought I would be able to control it, I thought that I'd notice if it got too much…"
"But he ran away before you got the chance," Chris finished. "I don't blame you Scott."
"I didn't understand him back then. I do now. Trust me Chris, whatever happens between me and Jeff from now on, I will not go back to that. I've been clean for well over two years now."
The blonde shook his head, "it's not just that though. He's not… he enjoys pain, but only to a certain limit. Before, you pushed him too far. He was too scared, or too drugged, to say no."
Scotty sat up and put his head in his hands, "that's what I feared. Because he never said no… I took things further than I should have. I lost control."
"But you told Jeff what it would be like before you got together. He went into that eyes wide open. He should have told you."
"He was naïve, and I took advantage. Chris… I don't regret being with him, because… because I learnt an awful lot from him… but I do regret what I did to him. The last thing I would do is hurt him again."
"Good. Because he means an awful lot to me too," Chris blushed and looked away. Scotty smiled slightly and motioned for him to continue. "After he left you… he was lost. Because I knew you, I thought I could help. And I fell for him big time. Probably for all the same reasons you did. He did confide in me, I think I helped him a little, but he was too far gone, he refused to quit, he pushed himself further and further until I couldn't bear to see it anymore. I gave him an ultimatum… and he ran away again."
"So, did you come here to protect him, or to win him back?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen him in six months. I called, but he wouldn't pick up. I don't think that we could go back to the way we were… I don't know if he's clean or not…" his voice trailed off.
"Where does that leave me… and us?" Scotty forced a smile.
"I think it all will depend on what Jeff wants."
"Hey Jeff."
The young man looked up, face masking fear and hope. He'd been planning for this moment since he'd signed the contract with TNA. "Scotty." His voice was devoid of emotion, except for that almost imperceptible tremor that betrayed Jeff's fear to those who knew him well enough to look for it.
"Good to see you back." Scotty's voice was gentle, betraying the soft heart behind the tough exterior.
"Like a drug isn't it?" Jeff smiled sadly, "all too addictive."
Scotty grimaced at the obvious reference. He had to let Jeff know something though. "All addictions can be beaten though kid. I did it, been clean for two years now… hear you managed it too."
Jeff was surprised and not a little relieved at that news, "yeah… it's tough… day at a time and all that though."
The locker room was silent for a moment, as the two men studied every detail of the place except for each other.
Then Raven spoke, "I'm sorry Jeff. I never meant for you to get in as deep as you did, for things to go as far as they did… I never had the chance to say so before, but… you gave me the wake up call I needed as well… so sorry for what I did, but thank you as well."
"I never gave you a chance to explain, did I?"
"You got out while you still could. I can't blame you for that."
"But I should have told you," Jeff smiled sadly. "I wish I could have told you before it got too far."
"I'm not entirely sure I would have listened."
"Maybe… we were pretty fucked up."
Raven took a deep breath, he was about to break a confidence, not entirely sure it was the right thing to do, "you could have relied on Chris more. He knows what I'm like. He knows me as well as you do. And he still has feelings for you."
The younger man looked up in shock. Of all the people involved in this, Chris was the last one Jeff wanted to hurt.
Scotty saw the effect of his words and continued, "I was with him way back then. He knows my ways, he knows how I work. He's always had more self control than me though. He would never use, not even when I hurt him beyond words. He was always in control, really." Scotty took a deep breath as the realisation dawned on him, "I may have dominated and dictated, but he had control."
"Control is what I never had with you. Control is what I ran away to achieve," Jeff suddenly realised, "control is what Chris gave me, but I was too fucked up to know what to do."
"But things are different now."
"Yeah," Jeff was lost in thought about Chris. "I treated him really badly."
"How do you feel about him now?" Scotty laughed, "god, I sound like a counsellor or something."
"I feel a lot for him. I wish things had been different between us. He… gave me a lot of things, he gave me what I needed, but not what I wanted, and at the time I resented him for that. When I left him and got clean I realised how badly I'd treated him… and I felt so ashamed. He'd call me and I wouldn't even answer the phone. I must have hurt him, running away like that. I do still have feelings for him though."
"What about me?"
The young man took a deep breath. He knew this moment had to come eventually. "I still have feelings for you too. You understand me and give me what I need. I just could never go back to they way things were, I'd have to have equal control… I'm assuming that you still feel something for me though… maybe I'm wrong."
"Jeff, I have a confession." Scotty couldn't keep it in any longer. "Chris called me up when he heard you signed up with TNA. He was worried about you. He still has feelings for you. He wishes things could have been different too."
Jeff smiled in relief, but it was brief. He realised that something else was coming.
"But Chris still has feelings for me too. And I have feelings for him… and I feel deeply for you too." Scotty put his hand on Jeff's shoulder. "This is fucking complicated. Chris and I, we can maintain a long distance thing, we've done it before. Whether you and Chris could, I don't know. Whether he'd get jealous of you and me spending a lot of time together… I don't know. I think you and Chris have a lot to talk about… and all three of us have decisions to make."
The young man snaked his arm around Scotty's neck to pull him close for a kiss. "I want to work something out. I don't want to fuck up with either of you again."
"Me neither. Chris has watched me fuck up enough times, I can't put him through it again." Scotty knew that he still had a lot of secrets that would have to come out into the open before his relationship with the two men could be on an even keel. Jeff would have to learn more of the chequered history between Chris and Scotty, and Jeff would have to be honest about how things were between him and Chris.
"So what happens now?" Jeff rested his head on Scotty's shoulder. It had been a familiar position for him all those years ago, comforting in those turbulent times.
"Now, I think we need to go talk to Chris. You two have a lot to talk about."
"And you and I have a lot of catching up to do. You've not getting away that easily Scotty."
"I have no intention of getting away from either you or Chris again."