A/N: Just had to write this chapter, not only to appease my LOVING fans, but also to rub in the face of my NOT SO LOVING readers that my story is liked--if not by you, then by others. Special thanks to Ewan McGregor, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and (the man) Walt Disney. Without them, this chapter might never have been written.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or anything related to the creative rights of the idea

Self-less

Chapter 4

Kagome

All of my life I had been fed stories about nervous brides and anxious grooms; stories about perfect weddings and living happily ever after. Ideas of true love has always danced in my head, of finding my one true mate and living out my life with him.

Everyone knows that a Fey only falls in love once, for all the length of their lives. There are few who actually find their true mate, the one they dream of as a child when the soul is young and the memory of its partner is still fresh. Still, there are those who do find them, and I had hoped to be one of them. Now, I have no hope of that.

Not even a hope of falling in love at all.

I am going to be married, and will rule peacefully for as long as I can. I will be a dutiful and loyal wife. I will be a dutiful and loyal Queen.

Hopefully that will content my aching soul.

"Kagome," Sango spoke from beside me. "It's almost time."

I nodded. "Yes, so it is."

"You look lovely," she offered, smiling softly. I looked down at the spider-silk gown that my mother had tailored for me. Delicate and soft, and unique made just for me. I pulled the long white gloves over my bare arms, up to my elbows, covering my shaking hands.

"It's a very pretty gown," I told my cousin. I looked over at her and smiled. "You look wonderful as well."

And she did, dressed in a long fawn tunic decorated with golden embroidery and the crest of the Fey court. Her jeweled sword was belted to her slim waist and a circlet of gold rested on her brow. Her long brown hair was plaited intricately to the nape of her neck where it then hung freely.

There had been a time when she was forced to wear a pair of false wings when attending a ceremony of state, but I abolished that as soon as I was old enough. She was a solider, and of royal blood. I would never subject her to such mockery.

"I thank you for the honor," she replied with a bow.

Since I was robbed of both my brother and my father, I had asked Sango to play the part of my escort. She would be the one to give me to my husband at the altar. I could tell she was feeling a bit awkward about the request, but she would not refuse me, and apart from my mother, she was my only family.

"Is my mother coming in before we leave?" I asked, half hoping and half dreading it. I wanted the comfort of my mother's presence, but if she came, I knew she would only try once again to persuade me against my decision.

"No," Sango confirmed with a shake of her head. "She has left with the rest of the court to the ceremony already. Only a handful of guards stayed behind with us."

I nodded my head and hugged myself. Butterflies turned my stomach upside down. I had thought I would be over the shock by now, but it was still fresh within my blood. Sango drew closer, sensing my need for her nearness. I needed someone nearby who loved me.

"Come, Kagome," she whispered. "It's time."

As she said the words, she placed a crown of white roses and lilies atop my head. The gossamer veil fell over my face. When I felt the slight weight of it, I felt like crying. And not a soft weep or a sniffle, but a heart-wrenching, strangled cry.

All of my life I had been raised to do what was bested best for my people, because I was their princess. But I am only one girl, only a Fey maiden. I had my own dreams, my own wishes for my life.

And now, these beautiful flowers and this beautiful gown were shattering all my hopes. And where the Mercy Queen would walk boldly forward to meet her fate, Kagome would rather hide away and mourn.

"Is this what I'll have to become?" I whispered.

"What?" Sango asked, already making her way toward the opening of the tent.

"Will I have to choose between being a monarch and being a woman?"

Sango was quiet a moment, her hand poised on the opening and her face shadowed. "I think, princess," she said slowly. "That there is no difference. Monarch or woman, you are still one person. You are still Kagome of the Fey." She looked up at me then, a phantom stare in her eyes that told me she understood only too well.

"I am not a princess," Sango continued. "I don't have the decisions or responsibilities of those who rule. I am a warrior, with a warrior's mind. But I am also a woman, with a woman's heart. You just have to find the balance between the queen and the woman, Kagome."

"It will be hard," I told her.

"As all things worth learning are," she responded. Then she held out her hand. "Come away now."

I went to her then, placing my hand in her own and taking that fateful step out of my tent and into the dying light. A palanquin was waiting to carry me the rest of the way to the ceremony, as was a custom. I didn't particularly care for this tradition, but I abided by it. Sango handed me inside as four guardsmen hefted it on to their shoulders.

An altar had been set up on the banks of Black Lake. There was a small wooden arch where a priestess stood beneath it, robed in red and white, the colors of war and peace. The Fey flanked one side of the lake, my mother among them. The Daemon were on the other side.

I noticed one in particular, standing beside the alter altar. He was fair, his features quite striking against the blackness that surrounded him. Maybe it was from the description Sango had given me, or perhaps it was just some innate sense, but I knew that was my husband-to-be. And I felt the bottom fall out of my stomach.

The palanquin was placed on the ground a few yards from the altar. Sango was beside me in an instant, helping me to my feet and escorting me forward. All I could do was move with her, letting her guide me as I held on to her hand.

Before I had my wits about me, we were at the altar. Sango turned me to face her. She pulled the veil from my face, then kissed both my cheeks before giving my hand to the man I was marrying. It happened so fast, too fast, but even so, I saw the tears sparkling in her dark eyes as she stepped back from me and took her place among the Fey.

My wings quivered when I felt the Daemon's hand close over mine. The warmth of it surprised me, but the claws were enough to drive that small comfort away. Still, I couldn't look him in the face. I only looked at our joined hands, but then looked at the priestess as she began to speak.

She used the oldest of tongues – that of the earth before Daemon and Fey split, when there had been one language of magical creatures. She spoke of unity and loyalty, of duty and honor.

To be honest, I can say that I didn't pay much attention to her at all. I listened only enough to repeat back the lines I was asked to repeat and reply to the questions asked of me. Then, at the very end, I was required to finally look at the man beside me. The man who had now become my husband.

He looked back at me with dark yellow eyes.

Tall, I suppose, is the first thing that coherently came into my mind. Taller than Sango even. It was a little strange to me, since Fey never grew very tall. He was young, like Sango had told me, and would have been attractive if there was any expression on his face. As he looked down at me, I saw nothing in his eyes, on his face. Only a blankness that startled me.

As the ceremony dictated, he leaned forward and kissed me softly on the mouth. Normally, such an action would be met with cheers from the onlookers, but the lakeside was silent when our lips met. It was over before I truly knew it had begun, the merest brush of his lips on mine, and then he was away from me.

When we parted, there was tentative applause. The people seemed as if they were roused from a drugged sleep as they clapped and cheered hollowly.

I felt myself shaking again, the realization and finality hitting me all at once. Half of me wanted to cry again, just break down right there and – propriety be damned. Another part of me wanted to rebel. Just break away from everything and everyone around me.

It was selfish of me, to even be thinking of such weaknesses as this. I had to be strong in the face of adversity. I had to be sure and brave.

I had to kill the dreamer in me.

A/N: Mini-chapters, folks. That means more updates for you! Be happy!