Disclaimer: TMNT are not mine. English is not my natural language, and this is my first fic in english, so be nice.

Summary: What was in Leo's mind during "Tales of Leo".

Lyrics are in italics. The song is "How does it feel" by Avril Levigne.

It was dark and he was alone.

Was he already dead? Maybe.

He couldn't remember anything... except for the pain and fear, and those black shadows, just coming and coming from everywhere...

Everything else were just a bunch of blurry memories.

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to remember, it didn't matter anyway...

I'm not afraid of anything
I just need to know that i can breathe
I don't need much of anything
But suddenly, suddenly

The only thing that mattered in that moment, was the light in front of him, in the middle of the darkness.

It was so bright, so warm, so peaceful...

It was an invitation. He wanted to go there, inside the light, and forget anything else.

For several minutes, he just stared at the light... he could feel it: there was no pain, no fear, no loneliness, no painful memories... just a calmed nothingness.

- It's tempting, isn't it ? the light, I mean... – said a voice from somewhere.

Yes, it was. Where the voice came from?... well, he wasn't worried about where he was either, so who cares?

- It leads to a... well... to a better place, a beautiful place in did, full of love and peace and all that stuff... But you can't go there, if that was you were thinking... not yet at least.

"No? Why not?"

- Because, you have to come back...

"¿Come back?, ¿where?...", he didn't want to. The only place he wanted to go, was that light...

- I know you're afraid... I can understand that. Oh, yes, I really can, I know exactly what you feel...

He opened his eyes. The voice was right, he was afraid.

I am small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded by so many things
But suddenly, suddenly

He thought they were going to kill him.. He was exhausted, but they never stopped, they kept coming and coming... just making time, until the red shadows came up... those red and black figures, just beating him, hurting him...

But, even that was nothing to be afraid of. His real fear was...

He closed his eyes again, firmly. No, he didn't want to come back and he didn't want to fight anymore.

Nevermore.

He just couldn't fail them again.

I'm young, and I am free
But I get tired, and I get weak
I get lost, and I can't sleep
But suddenly, suddenly

- So, are you going to leave them alone, instead?

"What?"

- Are you even listening? The voices...

"Voices?". Yes, he could hear something, but...

- You can't go to the light, because of that voices... do you understand now?

No, he didn't listen anything, he didn't want to either...

- Ironic. Isn't? The same voices makes you stronger and vulnerable at the same time... you said you were afraid... but you never gave up. You said you were exhausted but you fought until the last breath and even further... but do you know why? What was in your mind while you were fighting?.

How does it feel, to be different from me?
Are we the same?
How does it feel, to be different from me?
Are we the same?
How does it feel?

"I was scared... just like now".

- Scared?, scared of what? Were you scared of die?.

"I was scared of they could find them!! I tried to keep them away from the apartment, but they always knew where the others were... they found them anyway... it was my fault, I know...

And when they attacked... I couldn't do anything... I could do nothing!!!"

That was his biggest fear, he realized now... the only one he could feel, now and then: they needed him, but he couldn't protect them... he had failed.

He felt a hand in his shoulder.

- Don't blame yourself... you're going to go through this... you have to. You know that.

"I see. I don't have right to feel compassion for myself... I got a work to do... isn't?. I have to come back... I know now. After all, my life doesn't belong to me".

- That's the way you have chosen... the hardest one. But you have to follow it, to the end. No matter what.

"I don't want to disappointed them. I can't fail again. I couldn't bear it".

I'm young, and I am free
But I get tired, and I get weak
I get lost, and I can't sleep
But suddenly, suddenly

- Nobody said it would be easy... and it won't be. But, for now, you know what you have to do...

Would you comfort me
Would you cry with me

He smiled.

"Yes, I know. But... still there's one thing I need to know..."

- What?

"Who the hell are you"

The voice laughed.

- Please... you know me...

"Yeah, sure". He said sceptical. But then, he understood everything. He just knew. "Master Yoshi?".

- We are going to have plenty of time to talk someday. But not yet... not yet. Just follow the voices now, wake up... and remember...

"I Know, I know...."

I am small and the world is big
But I'm not afraid of anything;

"No fear".