Disclaimer:
The Characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made off this site, and is for entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes:
This is an Alternate Universe Story in the Harry Potter Series in that it branches off from the series before the final Chapter of The Order of Phoenix. Also, the ages of Charlie and Bill Weasley were conceived prior to the announcement by JKR. For the purposes of this story they are Twenty-eight and Thirty, respectively.
This version has been modified from the original NC-17 version, housed at Specifically, explicatives have been modified and sexual situations made less explicit. Any large changes will be pointed out in author's notes. Thank you and enjoy.
Of Hearts and Heroes
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ron lay flat on his back on his bed, his arms crossed behind his head. The Great Empath Massacre lay open and unread across his chest as he contemplated exactly when Hermione had gone completely around the bend.
She had been perfectly normal yesterday during training, and then with the arrivals of the OWLs, she had been downright giddy. After that…with the Practicing, she had been bloody fantastic. Well, he thought so, and she certainly seemed to be enjoying herself.
She had seemed a little put off when she first noticed his erection, but she had certainly recovered quickly…and enthusiastically, Ron thought, grinning to himself. Hermione had been a little quiet at dinner, but she was always shy and a bit distracted after Practicing, so he hadn't been bothered by her silences. He found it rather endearing, actually.
Maybe the problem started when he had flinched from her touch. He knew that was a big mistake, because last night…last night she had gone completely nutters.
At first, he thought nothing of her passionate onslaught of snogging. Hell, what sixteen-year-old male could think at all in that situation? Even though she had been uncharacteristically aggressive, he'd been too enthralled to consider why... Hell, she could be aggressive any time she bloody well wanted to. Should he have been worried that he was pressuring her? But why would he have thought she didn't want it? She was begging him, for god's sake. It had been the best moment of his life…he had his hands on her…
Then she went crazy and Hermione hadn't been the same since.
All day, Ron couldn't do anything right. If he touched her, she shrank away. If he avoided touching her, she became hurt and annoyed. One minute she was irritable, the next she was quiet and distant. She wouldn't respond when he talked to her and heaven forbid he ignore her.
Ron just couldn't figure out what was going on with her. He did know that if she didn't come to sleep with him tonight he was going to drag her up there kicking and screaming. She was going to talk to him.
Maybe it was just that time of the month, Ginny always….
Crack.
Ron jerked up, leaning on his elbows. "Fred? What are you doing here? The party isn't until tomorrow."
"I've come early to make a little donation to the needy." He grinned wickedly. "You are a lucky, lucky bloke, baby brother. See," he set down his box, "the wonderfully tempting and always surprising Angelina was rifling around my flat the other day and found my collection. Seems it's either her or my magazines... and you see I'd be down right daft to give up a regular shag for a bunch of pictures. Even if they are the best damn pictures in England."
Ron held his breath, his eyes going wide. It couldn't be. "You don't mean….?"
"Yup, my sadly innocent brother, I am giving you the Mecca… the pinnacle of all witchy magazines…Wicked, Wicked Witches." Fred held up one of the magazines, showing two naked, big-breasted witches.
Ron felt as though he might faint. He'd certainly snuck into his brothers' room to sneak a look at these photos before, but to have them all…at his leisure. He shook his head.
"Mum will kill me." Shite, Hermione would kill him.
"Oh, worried what Mummy will think? That's why you hide them, muck for brains." He threw the magazine and Ron caught it against his chest. "You even have magic to help you. Right spoiled you are. It's made you a pansy. These should be just the thing to make a man out of you. George and me, we found those pictures very instructive." He laughed.
"Crikey, Angelina should be thanking them, not banishing them. I'm sure Hermione will enjoy your tutoring just as much, though knowing Hermione…well, they're good for a wank anyway."
"Hey!" Ron protested. "She is not…" What was she not? Was he going to tell his brother that she wasn't frigid? That she mewled and begged in his arms. "She's not my girlfriend."
Fred laughed again, "Very convincing. Bit of advice, mate: girls don't really like it when you deny that they are your girlfriend when they so obviously are."
Yeah, well, do they like it if one says that they are when they aren't? He opened the magazine, his heart racing as he took in the pictures. Shite, there were actual shagging pictures in this magazine. He had never seen this before.
Even as he turned the pages, he felt guilty. Ron knew he had no good reason to feel bad about it. He wasn't doing anything wrong, but all he could think was, 'Hermione is going to kill me!' and as irrational as it was, the voice was winning. He was just about to throw the magazines back at Fred and tell him to bin them when he found the picture…
The picture that would be his downfall. A lovely, big-breasted witch sprawled out on white satin sheets, wild curls everywhere, obscuring her features. A wizard lie next to her enjoying her … attributes.
Ron stared at the picture, unable to see anything but him and Hermione, frozen in the same pose and painfully aroused.
"Hey." Ron barely recognized Harry's voice through the fog of arousal produced by the image in his mind, combined with the photograph in front of him. He must have just come in the room.
From a distance Fred answered, "Hey, mate, just dropping by to leave a little gift for Ronniekins. See you blokes at the party. Enjoy!" Crack, he was gone. And he'd left the box behind.
"Uh huh," Ron muttered in response to his departure, not yet able to form a coherent word.
"Blimey, Ron! Is that…?"
Ron nodded, "Wicked, Wicked Witches."
He felt the bed next to him shift as Harry sat and looked over at the pictures. He felt oddly protective and almost pulled the magazine away, as if Harry were actually looking at Hermione. Instead, he quickly flipped the page. "They're all starkers?" Harry asked.
Starkers? Shite, he wouldn't be in nearly so much trouble if they were only starkers.
"Harry, they're not just starkers."
"Whoa!" Harry's mouth dropped.
"Yeah."
"What is that?"
Oh shite, oh damn! That was not Harry's voice. That was…his eyes shot up to find Hermione standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. He almost wished that it had been his mum…almost.
He was paralyzed as she walked into the room. He was impotent and incompetent and completely unable to do anything to stop her from taking the magazine from his hand.
What could he possibly do to deny it anyway?
Hermione slowly turned the pages and he had the irrational thought that she really shouldn't be looking at that. She was really much too innocent. It was yet another way in which he was corrupting her.
Ron waited for the anger to come, bracing himself for the yelling.
"Is this what you want?" she asked softly, not looking up.
"What? No, Hermione, no!" Ron shook his head rapidly, not completely grasping the situation, but hearing the hurt in her voice. His stomach turned and his throat filled with bile. When did he become the biggest wanker that ever lived? "Hermione, I just…" Just what? What the hell was his excuse? Was he supposed to say that he wanted her? Was he allowed to say that? In front of Harry?
When she looked up at him there were tears in her eyes, and Ron shook his head against it, frantically trying to think of what he should say…
She opened her mouth to say something and he felt mildly relieved. That's it, sweetheart, yell at him, give him the raking down of a lifetime, let him know what a bastard he is. But she closed her mouth and gave him a look of such accusation, he'd never felt lower in his life.
Hermione threw the magazine at his chest with surprising strength and flew out of the door.
"Hermione!" he called after her. Crap, he had to fix this now. He stumbled and tripped over the bloody box as he rushed for the door. God dammit, he was going to murder Fred for this.
Ron ran down the steps after her pounding footsteps, getting to her door just as she locked it behind her. He pounded on it. "Hermione let me in! You have to let me explain!" Explain what, you moron? "Hermione!"
"Go away!" he heard her yell from the room, then nothing.
The more he pounded, the angrier and more desperate he felt. "So help me Hermione, I'm going to knock this door down…" Then he felt himself being pushed off the door as Hermione cast an Imperturbable on it. He stumbled and almost fell. The rage throbbed in his ears. "Hermione!"
"Ron, mate, you'll wake Remus and your brothers." He only vaguely heard Harry next to him. He'd forgotten that he was there at all. He needed to get through that door. He didn't care who woke up, he didn't care who found those bloody magazines. He needed Hermione.
He groped helplessly at his pockets. There had to be some way through the Imperturbable. He had forgotten his wand. Didn't matter… He punched the door with all his might.
"Ron!" Harry yelled, grasping at his shoulders and trying to pull him away.
Ron barely recognized the burning sensation coming over his hand, but he saw the blue of the Imperturbable bend around his hand. He drew his arm back again and punched, pushing through…almost touching the door.
"Ron! Stop! Can't you see your hand?" Harry forcibly pulled his arm back, making him see that it was bright blue.
Damn it! This wasn't working. There had to be some way through. Ron turned and ran up the stairs, barging into Adrianna's room without knocking.
"Ron?" she called, surprised, from the bed.
He rushed over to the bookcase and scanned the titles. "There's got to be some way to break an Imperturbable, right?" Bloody hell, his hand burned.
"Sure," she said uneasily.
"Hermione blocked us out of her room," Harry supplied, short of breath.
"Well, there isn't a way without knocking the whole house down. Ron, are you in pain?"
Ron barely recognized what she was saying; he just kept trying to read the spines through the growing pain in his arm. He felt hands grasp his arm and cried out at the realization of how much it hurt.
"Holy shit, what happened?" Adrianna asked.
Ron just shook his head, gasping from the pain.
"He tried to punch through the Imperturbable barrier, bloody idiot." Again, the explanation came from Harry.
"God, Ron, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?" Adrianna shook her head as she pushed him into the nearest chair. "Harry, get my potions trunk."
"I have to talk to Hermione," Ron managed to grit out.
"You have to let me take care of that before you lose your arm, is what you have to do," she replied quickly, locating a book from the shelf and flipping through the worn pages.
"But Hermione…" he murmured, though his head was listing back; he was having trouble thinking for the pain.
"Hermione's fine. One more word and I'm having your brothers forcibly carry you to the hospital." Adrianna's voice got farther and farther away. Through half closed eyes, he watched Harry and his cousin gather ingredients for a potion before it all faded away.
Ginny jerked and sat up on her bed as the door slammed with impressive force. She looked up to see Hermione, red faced and frantic, sit on the edge of her bed and grip the mattress with iron fists. The younger girl scrambled to the side of her bed and looked at Hermione expectantly.
Almost immediately the knocking began followed by Ron's screaming, "Hermione! Let me in!"
Hermione stared straight ahead, uttering passionately, "Boys are hateful. They are wretched, horrid creatures."
The pounding got more frantic. "You have to let me explain! Hermione!"
There were tears in Hermione's eyes. She screamed back, "Go away!"
"Hermione, what did he do?" Ginny asked, becoming genuinely scared for her friend and hacked off at her brother. Ron was such an idiot. Hermione was ignoring her, covering her ears against the pounding.
"So help me Hermione, I'm going to knock this door down…"
Hermione whipped out her wand with such force that Ginny shrank back. She stood and pointed it at the door as if the door had just murdered her puppy. "Imperturbis."
And just like that Ginny was locked in with a crazy woman. Ron must have really messed up this time. She watched as her friend slowly resumed her stony position. The look in her eyes really did make Ginny fear for her sanity.
"Hermione!" she said forcefully, trying to wake her up, "What did Ron do?"
Hermione's lip trembled and tears spilled over. Oh, hell.
Ginny got up and sat next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "What did that bastard do now?" she asked more softly.
Hermione buried her head in her hands and muttered something incomprehensible.
"What?" More muttering. Ginny took a deep breath. "I can't hear you," she told her with frustration, but not as much frustration as Hermione must have been feeling when she jerked up her head and practically screamed, "I said…I found him with a….with a pornographic magazine." She pulled out of Ginny's embrace and began to pace the room.
Ginny watched her and tried to look sympathetic, or at least not show how frightened she was for Hermione's sanity. "Hermione," she said gently, "all boys look at porn. It's kind of normal."
Hermione threw her a frightening glare and shook her head. "You don't understand."
There was a pause and Ginny wondered if she was supposed to say something here.
Thankfully Hermione continued without prompting. "It's just proof of how I'll never be what Ron wants."
"Please!" Ginny laughed, before she could stop herself. Why were people so blind when it came to their own love lives?
"No!" Hermione insisted passionately. "You don't get it. The girls in the magazine…they're what he really wants. Not some…some little flat chested…"
"You're not flat….
"Curveless, naive child, with ugly hair and a plain face. He wants someone beautiful and womanly. I was just deluding myself that I could ever be more than a friend and a…a partner to study kissing. Oh God, I'm teaching him how to kiss other girls."
"Hermione!" Ginny yelled to get her attention. "You're hysterical! Calm down. You know Ron finds you attractive, you're not thinking clearly! Hell, you're practically delusional, have you even looked in a mirror?"
But the frantic girl continued pacing as if she hadn't heard her, except for shaking her head in denial of Ginny' s flattering comments.
"Could you at least sit? You're making me dizzy." Ginny was shocked when Hermione did as she was asked. Maybe she was listening after all.
Hermione sat on Ginny's bed and looked down at the floor. "It doesn't matter anyway," she said in a small voice. "I ruined everything last night anyway. We'll never have a chance now."
"I'm sure that's not true," Ginny said, as gently as she could.
A strange look came over Hermione's face as she looked out into the distance. Then she turned and met Ginny's eyes for the first time. "Ginny, how far have you gone with a boy?"
Ok, that was not what she had been expecting. Ginny reeled a little from the change of subject. "Um, gone?"
"Sexually?" Hermione asked seriously, as if they were discussing transfiguration.
"Um, well…" Ginny did not like where this was going. This conversation would be a lot more comfortable if the sexually didn't have to do with her brother. "I reckon some heavy snogging and a bit of touching." She didn't understand why she could feel her neck and cheeks heat up.
Hermione swallowed, and asked in a choked voice, "Above or below the waist?"
"Above," Ginny said, her voice coming out in a squeak. Why did it feel like she was discussing this with Ron and not Hermione?
Hermione closed her eyes and looked away, nodding. It seemed that wasn't the response she was hoping for.
"Hermione," Ginny asked carefully, unfortunately seeing where this was going. "Did Ron touch you somewhere that you felt..." Anger at her brother warred with mortification within her, "…uncomfortable?"
"No," Hermione whispered, "It wasn't Ron."
Ginny actually felt her eyes pop out of her head... she choked. "You touched him…below the belt." Oh, that was not a good image.
"I'm a slag," Hermione said matter-of-factly.
"No," Ginny protested automatically, trying to gain control of her own repulsion. "No one thinks…."
She was cut off by an onslaught of rapid fire questioning. "Ginny, have you ever felt completely out of control with a boy? Have you ever felt like your body was on fire and something inside you was changing and moving and about to explode and you needed something but you didn't know what it was, but you had to have it and if you didn't you might just die and then you didn't get it and you think you're going to completely lose your mind?"
Ginny shook her head, trying to catch up with what her friend was saying. The only part that she understood was the part about Hermione going crazy, which was becoming increasingly obvious.
Hermione's expression drooped, "I can see by your expression you haven't. You see I really am a slag, a whore, it must be in my blood, I can't control myself when I'm with him."
"No, Hermione," Ginny said with more confidence. "That's normal, really. You're just a normal teenage girl who really fancies a bloke. You're not a slag."
"Why would Ron ever want to be in a real relationship with a slag?" Hermione asked as if Ginny hadn't even spoken.
Well, that was just great. Why should Ginny be surprised…no one ever listened to her.
With far too much annoyance she asked, "If you're so hell bent on blaming yourself, why are you punishing Ron? Why are you so mad at him?"
Hermione's lip trembled again. "Because I hate him…I hate him because I need him and I…love him... and he doesn't want me." She turned and threw herself, face down, onto the bed, covering her head with a pillow. Ginny's pillow.
And apparently that was the end of the conversation, at least from Hermione's point of view, since nothing Ginny did or said got any kind of further response from her. Great, now she was trapped in here by an Imperturbable, with a mute crazy person in her bed.
Certainly not how Ginny had imagined spending the night she turned fifteen. Midnight was just about an hour away. She had hoped to be with Harry. She slipped over to her night stand and pulled out the watch, clutching it in her hand, loving the feel of the cold metal in her palm.
She needed to get out the door. She and Harry could still do this. She could still feel the pleasure…she could still spend the night kissing him in her dreams. Ginny just needed that damn spell down.
"Hermione," she called entreatingly. "I really need you to lift the Imperturbable so I can go to the loo." When there was no response, she added, "We can't stay trapped in here forever."
Finally, the older girl rolled over and picked up her wand, but before lifting the charm, she looked at Ginny with bloodshot eyes. "Ginny, if you let Ron in here….I just can't, please."
"I won't, I promise." For the first time, Ginny felt truly sorry for her friend. She deserved more sympathy than Ginny was giving her.
Hermione lifted the spell and Ginny quietly slipped out the door. She was a bit surprised not to find anyone on the other side of the door. She hadn't expected her brother to give up so easily. Maybe Hermione was right. Maybe Ron didn't care enough.
She found Harry and Ron's room empty as well but across the hall the door was cracked open. Ginny found Ron asleep on Adrianna's bed, while the Empath seemed to be wrapping his arm in some sort of bandage. Harry caught her eye and quickly approached her, guiding her out of the room and softly closing the door.
She looked at him in confusion. "What?"
Harry shook his head, his arms tightly crossed. Absurdly she noticed how tight the shirt seemed to pull over his arms and chest now. His expression was stony when he whispered, "Ron tried to punch through the Imperturbable."
Ginny's eyebrows shot up. Only her brother would do something so daft.
"Yeah, he was in quite a rage. He burned his arm right good. Adrianna said he could have lost it if he'd kept going. He passed out from the pain."
"God! Is he going to be all right?"
"Yeah, Adrianna said she got to him in time. Says he'll be fine in the morning." He gave a bitter sigh, staring beyond her. "And all because Hermione was too stubborn to talk to him. She completely over reacted, it was only a magazine."
Ginny felt herself grow angrier with every word he said. How dare he…boys were so…boys! "She wasn't over reacting! She's really hurt, Harry. You don't understand."
"I reckon I don't," he answered, not looking at her.
Great, this was just great. Ginny could feel tears burning her eyes. She still felt the cool metal of the watch against her skin and opened her palm to him. "Well, Hermione's not sleeping in your room tonight."
Harry nodded. "I suppose it's for the best anyway."
For the best? Of course, more over protective crap. Or maybe he just didn't want to feel that with her. "Yeah, for the best." She turned and walked away, not trusting herself to look at him any longer. "See you in the morning," she called as she descended the stairs.
Hermione was right. Boys were hateful, horrid, wretched creatures.
Back in her room, Hermione seemed to have gone to sleep, thankfully in her own bed. Ginny wondered if she should tell Hermione that Ron had indeed been so desperate to get to her that he was now comatose on Adrianna's bed nursing the wounds.
No, let her sleep. Ron deserves the pain, the stupid arse. All boys deserved what they got. Hermione would find out about it all in the morning.
In the morning….Ginny hated birthdays, almost as much as she hated boys.
Hermione had been awake since before dawn.
It made sense, really; she had been carefully training herself to get up so that she could escape from Ron's bed to hers before the household roused for the day. But today she awakened, already in her own bed and that mere realization almost had her in tears. As if not sleeping with Ron was the worst thing imaginable. As if she had actually thought that it could go on forever, that she wasn't fifteen years old, that she was actually in that kind of relationship with him….god she was so stupid.
Going over the events of the day before, waves and waves of sickening emotions washed over her. It was all over now. She'd never be with Ron like that again. Practice was over and with it the chance of anything more.
Even as Hermione thought it, she realized how untrue it was. Looking at yesterday's events logically it was clear that there was still hope. Nothing that had happened was irreparable. Ron hadn't actually said he didn't want to be with her…
As much as Hermione want to rely on her old friend logic, she knew it didn't really matter. The feelings of misery, rejection, and self-doubt were so profound that she knew that she she'd never be able to act logically. Why start now? She'd take one look at Ron and it would be all hormones and defensiveness.
So, instead Hermione did the most irrational thing of all. She hid, hid in the ballroom. The one place that everyone was bound to come sooner or later. She hadn't only lost her ability to act logically, she'd apparently become completely daft. But still she sat, curled in a tight ball on a sofa hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't have to talk to Ron or Ginny… god, Ginny…she surely thought Hermione was insane. She was most likely right.
An argument could be heard coming from the staircase. "No, Charlie, I said no…just get the hell out of my head." Adrianna was arguing in English. Probably didn't realize anyone was listening.
"If you'd just stop being so bloody stubborn…"
"I said no." Adrianna came to an abrupt stop when she saw Hermione, a look of confusion and concern coming over her face.
That was when Hermione realized her choice of hiding place wasn't illogical at all. No, instead it was merely pathetic and humiliating. She had a very good reason for coming here after all…and even now it hurt her to admit it.
Hermione had wanted Adrianna to be the one to find her. She wanted her to find her and read her mind and emotions and be the interfering know-it-all that the woman was known to be and fix things for her.
Hermione needed help…she was completely desperate. She'd tried Ginny, but it had been no use. Ginny didn't know how to deal with this. Hermione needed an experienced woman, one she had a frightening suspicion knew exactly what it was like to be in love with and out of control over a Weasley.
Hermione looked up and summoned all the courage she had to hold Adrianna's intense gaze. She tried to convey her need without words. She just couldn't bring herself to ask this woman, who she had despised up until a few days ago, to help her with something so intimate. So, Hermione pleaded with her in her mind all the while berating herself. She officially had no self-respect left.
The lines of concern on Adrianna's face deepened as she approached the younger girl, putting up a hand to Charlie that said 'keep quiet and keep back.' She searched Hermione's face and the girl recognized frustration in Adrianna's expression. The Empath seemed to be having trouble reading her. When finally Adrianna stood directly in front of her she raised a hand as if to touch Hermione, but paused inches away. Hermione remembered that Bill had said Adrianna had once needed touch to read someone. Were her powers so off that she needed touch again? Was she asking permission to read her?
Hermione nodded. Please. Please. She just needed help. She blinked back tears as the Empath placed her hand over hers and looked deeply into her eyes. After a mere moment, Adrianna dropped her hand and sighed. "Come on," she said softly, putting her hand on the younger girl's elbow and gently urging her to stand. "Let's go someplace with a door."
Charlie looked furious at the interruption. He bit out menacingly, "'Drana…"
"Charlie, go!" Adrianna snapped as she guided Hermione across to the dining room. "Just go and check on your brother, all right. The fool tried to punch through an Imperturbable last night. Go make sure the burns have healed…please."
Hermione's breath caught. "Ron? Is he all right?" she squeaked, afraid. He had been hurt…hurt trying to get to her.
"He should be fine," Adrianna reassured softly, closing the door in Charlie's face and pulling out two chairs, facing each other. "Had a rough night, though. Quite a temper, your young man."
Tears came to Hermione's eyes, "He's not my young man." Those words brought back all the hurt and anger she felt the minute she saw that magazine. She was glad his damned hand hurt!
Adrianna didn't respond to assertion, just sat. "So, what's wrong?"
Didn't she know? That was the whole point, wasn't it? What good was it to go to an Empath if Hermione actually had to talk? The girl carefully sat in the offered seat and drew up her knees, placing her heels on the edge of the seat.
"Hermione?" she was prompted.
She opened her mouth to speak and was frustrated when nothing came out. So instead she snapped, "Can't you tell?"
Adrianna frowned and rubbed her forehead in a tired manner. "Normally I can….it would be better if you would just tell me. Don't you hate it when your thoughts are read?"
Shoving aside her shame at her own hypocrisy, Hermione decided to ignore the last part.
"Normally?" she asked instead.
The Empath looked at her with a tense expression. "Yeah, well my powers haven't been under the best control lately."
"Why?" Hermione asked without thinking, as if getting information from Adrianna would somehow justify her asking help of the Empath.
"Lots and lots of reasons I suppose." There was a far away expression on her face.
Hermione couldn't keep herself from asking, "Any of them have to do with Charlie?"
Adrianna gave a small puff of a laugh and met her eyes again. "They all have to do with Charlie." The smile she smiled was self-deprecating and bitter.
Somehow, it made Hermione feel infinitely more comfortable. She smiled back. "I think I can understand," she confessed softly, not sure exactly how their situations related, but somehow knowing they did.
A deep sadness came over Adrianna's face, but it was gone as quickly as it came. She swallowed, "So, are you going to tell me what has you so…" she paused clearly having as much trouble as Hermione was naming all her emotions. "…miserable?"
Miserable? Good a word as any, Hermione supposed. She nodded in response and rubbed her eyes. Where to start? She went for concise. "Ron doesn't want me."
Adrianna laughed. "Try again. You're smarter than that."
Hermione crossed her arms over her chest like a shield and let the bitterness spill out.
"Fine, he wants me like any sixteen-year-old boy wants to be with any girl who he is holed up with for a month and who offers herself to him to do whatever he wants with. He doesn't really want me. Not in a way that counts and why should he? I'm plain, I'm boring…boring looking I mean, I have ugly hair and I have the body of a child…or a boy."
"And that's what Ron thinks?" The question was thankfully serious. And Hermione nodded in response. "He said this?"
Hermione scoffed, looking away. "Of course not, he's not that big a prat."
"Ah, of course. So you must have evidence?"
"Evidence?" Crikey, she was going to make her use logic. As Hermione watched
Adrianna, it was clear she wasn't going to say anything until Hermione came up with
some 'evidence.' "Well, I found him drooling all over those…those pornographic magazines."
The response was a pensive frown. "Hermione, all boys look at porn. It doesn't mean anything."
"It does in this case!" Hermione insisted. She didn't know how to explain it. She just knew that Ron found her wanting …she just knew it.
"Fine, then. Has he never told you he thinks that you are attractive?"
Hermione turned her head away, not about to admit anything.
"Hermione…" Adrianna prodded.
"Yes, but…"
"But… what has he said?"
"He said I was beautiful…" Hermione broke off in a mumble. She'd thought the Empath
would understand. Clearly she didn't.
"What was that?"
"He said I was beautiful, ok?" she snapped, feeling foolish and hating the woman for it.
"And what else has he said?"
God, she must be reading her…it wasn't fair. "He said I was gorgeous…once…I think."
"Hmmm so then…." Her expression was annoyingly knowing.
"You don't understand," Hermione broke in passionately. "That was before…before…"
she lamely gestured to her chest.
"Before he…" Adrianna looked like she was genuinely trying to understand. Maybe she wasn't reading her. "Before he saw you naked?"
"No! Well, yes…not entirely." Hermione buried her head in her hand.
"Before he saw you topless."
Hermione nodded. Finally she figured something out.
"So, he saw you topless and something he did makes you think that he wasn't impressed…no, not something he said…" she broke off in frustration. "You're going to have to help me out here Hermione, my head hurts. How many times have…"
"Just once!" Hermione defended herself, flushing deeply.
"Once, which obviously wasn't last night, so…the night before?" Hermione nodded.
Adrianna sat back and crossed her arms. "So, let me get this straight. Once he saw you half naked and his addled teenage brain didn't reassure you immediately that you were beautiful, so clearly he thinks you're not womanly enough for him."
"No!" Hermione defended, angrily. "That not it…not just it. You don't understand." Why did she come in here?
Adrianna sighed. "No, I think I understand perfectly. Ron's not the problem here…you are."
Hermione's stomach sank. As if she didn't know that.
"Hermione, look at me. You are smarter than this. The problem is not that Ron doesn't think you are attractive. The problem is that you don't." Hermione shook her head in denial, but she was ignored. "I could sit here and tell you that you are being ridiculous, that Ron finds you extremely attractive. I could tell you that you have a very nice shape and that you are far from plain, but it doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter what
Ron says, either. In a day, an hour, it will disappear like a whiff of smoke, because you don't think you're attractive."
"That's ridiculous," Hermione denied in a small voice.
"Really? So what's up with your hair?"
Hermione's hands flew to the wild mess. "It's horrible," she said bitterly. "I hate it."
Which only served to prove her point, so why was Adrianna bringing it up?
"Yes, it certainly is a mess. The question is, why is it a mess, when a hair cut and a simple beauty charm could change all that? A charm that a witch of your caliber could do in her sleep. So, why haven't you bothered to learn one?"
Hermione set her jaw and looked at her defiantly. "Because there are more important things than beauty charms and hair. I'm not shallow. I don't care about how I look."
Adrianna snorted. "You care so little that you are having a nervous break down about Ron not thinking you're pretty enough," she pointed out in a thoroughly annoying way.
"Hermione, everyone cares about their looks. Anyone who says they don't is lying; it's not shallow. What you've been doing is hiding. If you don't try, if you say it doesn't matter then…well, then you can't fail, right?"
Her words tore through Hermione painfully, making her feel exposed. "So, what can I do about it?" she asked bitterly.
"Very simple, you try."
Hermione expected to see a triumphant look on Adrianna's face when she finally found the courage to look at her, but instead there was simple sincerity, without a bit of judgment. It was the look of someone who was willing to help her and god help her she wanted that help. She didn't want to feel this way anymore. She…
There was a knocking at the door that made Adrianna cringe. "Go away Charlie!" she called.
"It's me," Ginny yelled back in an annoyed voice and Adrianna opened the door.
Ginny slammed it behind her and threw herself into a chair. "I can't believe you left me alone with those…boys!"
"Um, Happy Birthday," Adrianna said, cautiously.
"Yeah, Happy Birthday?" Hermione chimed in.
Ginny crossed her arms and sulked in her chair. "Happy Bloody Birthday to me. I hate boys. They're all horrible!"
"Can't argue with that," Adrianna commented, leaning back.
Hermione could only nod absently. She wondered what Harry had done now.
"Adrianna!" Charlie's roar echoed through the room, causing Adrianna to weave her hands into her hair and pull. "If you don't come out of there…"
"I'll come out when I damn well feel like it. Leave me alone!" she bellowed, pulling her hair harder. She turned to Ginny. "I swear if I don't get out of this house, your mother is really going to have a reason to hate me because she's going to have one less son when she returns."
"It's not as though we can go anywhere," the redhead responded bitterly. "We're trapped here."
"Says who?" Adrianna challenged.
Hermione took a deep breath, having made a decision. "Adrianna," she called dragging the woman's eyes back to hers. "I want to…try, that is."
Adrianna just smiled and Hermione was relieved that she didn't have to explain anymore.
"Well then," Adrianna said standing. "I say we get out of this wretched house. Ginny needs a birthday celebration besides this party, which is little more than an excuse for her brothers to get drunk…"
"Is that what they're all about?" Ginny exclaimed.
"Hermione needs a new outlook and I need to get as far away from Charlie as humanly possible. So grab your things, we are taking the afternoon off."
Hermione felt a surge of excitement…and relief. "Is it safe?" she asked, even as she stood.
"As long as we don't use magic. You think Voldemort is combing Muggle London for signs of us? I don't think so."
"Wait," Ginny asked. "We're really leaving Grimmauld Place?"
"Unless you don't want to?"
"Oh, I want to," she said eagerly, standing. Ginny looked at Hermione expectantly, as if she was waiting for her to protest. She looked as though she couldn't quite believe that Hermione would willing go anywhere with Adrianna.
Hermione couldn't quite believe it either. Maybe she really had lost all good sense. She smiled at the thought. "When do we leave?"
When Harry awoke, he found no one where they were supposed to be. Not only were his usual roommates elsewhere, 'Drana, who fell asleep in Ron's bed after he had passed out in hers, was also gone. Harry's gruff mood intensified when he went in search of his cousin and his friends in the ballroom and found it empty.
It had been a late and agonizing night. Watching Ron, out of his mind over Hermione, seeing his arm turn blue as he tried to punch through the Imperturbable and not being able to stop him…Harry hated feeling so helpless. It didn't make sense to him that Hermione had reacted like that. Harry had thought she really cared about Ron, but then why would she shut him out like that…without even an explanation? It was so clear the way Ron felt about her. If she broke Ron's heart, Harry worried that none of them would survive it.
And Ginny? Why was she so set on defending Hermione? She didn't even go see Ron as he was unconscious in Adrianna's room. Harry could still see his eyes roll into the back of his head as Ron had fainted. There was something deeply disturbing about the tall, healthy almost-man… fainting. But not as disturbing as the frantic speed at which Adrianna had gathered ingredients and called out orders to make the restorative paste.
The kitchen was empty as well…if Adrianna was off in Charlie's room Harry thought he just might scream until he couldn't scream anymore. He stomped up the stairs. She had just better be in her room checking on Ron.
He ran into Ginny on the first floor landing. She looked surprised to see him. "Oh, hey, Harry, have you seen Hermione?"
Harry frowned. "No," he snapped. "I haven't seen anyone."
Ginny gave him a look of pure rage and shook her head. She pushed around him and down the stairs.
What was with her?
Harry found Ron sitting up on Adrianna's bed, with Charlie unwrapping a now clean bandage. Ron held the forearm that he had burned the night before, flexing and unflexing his hand. The once bright blue had faded to a light, sickly hue.
"All right there, Ron?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, fine," Ron said distractedly, looking at his arm. "Just tingles a bit. Have you seen Hermione?" he asked anxiously.
Harry shook his head. Hermione. Blimey, Ron had it bad.
Charlie answered instead. "We saw her this morning, huddled on the sofa of the ballroom. Adrianna took her to the dining room to talk."
"Oh," Ron said, looking down. "Was she ok?"
Charlie, who Harry now thought of as the wanker, looked as agitated as Harry felt. "She looked upset. 'Drana certainly seemed concerned. Hermione didn't have a blue arm, however."
"I need to talk to her," Ron said, almost to himself.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place?"
"Fred's bloody magazines are what got me into this mess in the first place," he responded heatedly.
Charlie grabbed Ron's bad arm and looked it over roughly. "Adrianna needs to look at that." The wanker stormed out of the room.
Why Adrianna was any better than Charlie at judging Ron's mostly healed wounds was beyond Harry. It wasn't as though she was a Healer. Harry heard the wanker screaming at Adrianna from two floors down. He clenched his fists with the urge to punch something.
"I've really done it this time, mate," Ron said sadly.
Harry shook his head. "You didn't do anything, not really. Hermione should have talked to you, let you explain about Fred's stupid magazines."
Ron just shook his head with a dejected look.
More noises wafted up the stairs, the familiar sound of Adrianna and Charlie arguing and then the sound of multiple feet tramping up the stairs.
Adrianna came rushing into her room. She picked up Ron's arm, and turned it, looking at all sides. "Does it still hurt?" Ron shook his head. "He's fine," she proclaimed, dropping his arm and moving to her armoire.
Charlie stood with his arms crossed at the door. "Drana…" he growled.
She largely ignored him, grabbing her bag and addressing Ron and Harry. "I'm taking the girls shopping for Ginny's birthday. No magic while I'm gone." Adrianna gave them no time to react. She rushed past Charlie, into the hall and down the stairs.
"What do you mean, taking the girls shopping?" Ron asked somewhat hysterically. He was off the bed and after her in an instant. Harry followed.
They caught up with her in the foyer where the 'girls' were ready to go. Ginny was smiling and practically bouncing with excitement over her little birthday trip. Hermione was biting her lip nervously and glancing at Ron, but there were no signs that she didn't want to go on this little escapade.
Hermione was willingly going out of their safe house with Adrianna. She must really want to get away from Ron, either that or she finally had gone completely mental.
"You can't go out, it's not safe!" Ron bellowed.
"We'll be fine," Adrianna assured.
"No." Ron looked frantic. He looked at Hermione pleadingly. "You can't!" He grabbed her arm with his blue hand and pulled her aside, against the wall.
Hermione stared in fixation at his blue hand. "Is that…are you all right?" she asked in a voice so small that Harry barely heard her.
"Hermione," Ron whispered, pleadingly and paused. "It's fine…. just tingles a bit."
"You really shouldn't have tried to punch through the Imperturbable. It was very foolish," she told the floor.
Ron stared at her with such intensity, as if he could make her look at him by sheer force of will. "You shouldn't have blocked me out."
"Ron…I…I have to go." She took him by surprise, ducking under his arm and escaping. She scrambled out the door behind Ginny before Ron could stop her.
"Remember…no magic," Adrianna called as she quickly closed the door behind her.
Harry looked around the now quiet room. What the hell had just happened?
Ron looked as though he might cry and Charlie as though he might implode. "I can't believe her," the wanker said in a furious tone. "That she'd risk all their safety for a shopping trip…and a hair cut."
"Hair cut? Who's getting a hair cut?" Ron asked somewhat hysterically.
His brother shrugged absently. "Hermione, I think…."
"What…? What!"
Harry just couldn't believe he had been left behind.
Author's Note:
Yeah I know, makeover Hermione is one of the biggest clichés out there. My justification for using it goes like this… In every young woman's life there comes a time when she has to decide to stop being a little girl and embrace being a woman. Sometimes it happens when you are nine and sometimes when you're twenty-one. Almost always, it comes with some outward manifestation, whether it is getting rid of the pink ballerina's on the wall, or cutting off two feet of hair you'd clung to for a decade. For Hermione it's taming the frizz.