AN: This is a one-shot. A short one-shot. I got the idea from my friend Amanda talking about the 'Yuki method' and I wasn't sure which Yuki she was talking about at first. This is really a stupid little humor fic/ excuse for shonen-ai, but it's been rattling around in my brain ceaselessly for a week, and I want it to leave. The only way to kill a plot bunny is to write it!

Disclaimer: Hmm… nope.

Warnings: Shonen-ai (Yuki/Kyou, very slight Haru/Yuki), plotlessness, etc. Oh, and I used the English insults, and Japanese honorifics. It helped me with the flow.

The Yuki Method

"Yeah, ya damn rat, I didn't think so. What's your problem? You're pretty unresponsive; if you're that slow you should go to bed before I kick your ass. You need your rest before I beat you!"

Yuki tried to ignore the loud voice yelling at him. It was far too early to be drawn into a fight with that idiot. Plus Honda-san was here and he didn't want to upset her.

"What's wrong? You sick or somethin'? 'Cause that won't keep me from kicking your ass! You trying to start something? You sure are pissing me off you damn rat!"

Stupid cat… Then again, sometimes Kyou just didn't get it.

In a quiet voice directed primarily at Tohru, Yuki started, "Haru loaned me an… interesting… manga the other day. I didn't think it would appeal to me, but I read it anyway. One of the main character's names is Yuki. He had an interesting way of getting one of the other characters to shut up."

"Oh, um, really?" Tohru asked as she pulled out cooking utensils for breakfast.

"Well, well, Kyou-kun certainly is loud this morning. Is he angry at Yuki-kun today?" Shigure made his entrance and looked at the still yelling Kyou.

"Apparently so." Yuki said as he walked over to the angry cat.

"And you are so going to get it. I'm going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to the main house you damn-"

His tirade was cut off as Yuki stood in front of him and calmly stated, "Shut up, Kyou."

Kyou's eyes widened slightly, and he opened his mouth to start yelling again.

Yuki reached up and pulled the other boys head down to his level and kissed him. It was several seconds before he released the shocked cat, who's eyes were now so wide they looked to be in danger of falling out.

Yuki sauntered to the kitchen door and looked back at the disarray he had caused. Tohru was staring after him with a surprised look, Shigure was obviously surprised, but was most likely about to launch into a speech about how thrilled Aaya would be, and Kyou was too stunned to move. Yuki smirked and murmured, "Works every time," before exiting the room.

The end.

AN: That was odd. And even shorter than I thought. Oh well. The manga Haru gave him was of course Gravitation, where whenever Shuichi is being obnoxious Yuki kisses or gropes him. Well, if you read this little… thing, why don't you review! Tell me how stupid it was…