A/N: A merry Christmas to everyone. Or, a happy holidays to those who do not celebrate Christmas. (Short but sweet)

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor do I feel that it will ever be in my possession. WAAAAH!

thoughts

That's it. It's over…he did what I guess I thought he would do in the end…He picked her, my poor excuse of a reincarnation. Somehow, I really did know that this would be the outcome, but I can hope, can I not?

Fifty years. Has it really been that long since I first laid eyes on him? Whoever said that opposites attract must have had InuYasha and I in mind at the time. I was out gathering herbs and berries to treat a villager when I first saw him.

::Flashback::

Kikyou sighed as she walked deeper into the field. How does that man injure himself so much? It seems as if he does it on purpose so that he may have my undivided attention as I treat him.

As she bent down to grab the wild strawberries, the brush of the nearby forest rustled. "Who is there?" called out Kikyou as she loaded her bow. "Show yourself. Do not make me shot you." A minute later, a lone figure walked out of the shadows. The figure, which was obviously a male, had long hair as silvery white as shimmering snow and his eyes…like liquid pools of amber. That man…oh how that man took her breath away. Who is he? He is stunning. Wait?! why am I like this? Snap out of it, Kikyou! These thoughts are improper for a miko to have.

"Jeeze! You call me out and then ignore me. What kind of wench are you? Feh. Later, Miko."

::End Flashback::

I later found out from some of the villagers who he was- the so-called mighty inu-hanyo, InuYasha. At that time, I hated him with such a burning passion. That was a rare thing for a miko such as I. But, what I truly never expected was for me to fall for him. He just kept showing up wherever I was, so I could not help but get to know him, even during the time when I tried to ignore him. Surprisingly, we managed to strike a friendship.

Sigh…it was one year after I met him, to the day, that something spectacular happened.

::Flashback::

The night felt wonderful down by the lake with the breeze blowing the warm air lightly; it looked magical with the moon shining brightly off the rippling lake.

"Kikyou, I'm glad that you could come."

"InuYasha, why have you called me out here so la-" she started but could never finish for her lips were cut off by InuYasha in a fierce kiss.

"That…is why," breathed out InuYasha. "I-I love you."

"Oh! InuYasha…and I you." The two fell into a passionate embrace. It would become a night neither would ever forget.

::End Flashback::

I know I have never forgotten, but I gather he has. He forgot me after we became enemies because of Naraku. Curse his vile name! If it were not for him masquerading as the two of us, we would most likely still be together now.

Sigh. Well, when I died and he was pinned to the tree, it seemed like the end of everything. Then…she came along, fifty years after the damage was done. My reincarnation from the future, five hundred years to be exact…She freed my love and helped him achieve his goals where I could not. Maybe that is why he will not go to hell with me like he promised. He tells her now that he loves her more that he would have ever loved me. That her will never leave her side. Ha! He said the same thing to me once upon a time.

If that is true though, I do not have anything left to strive for. He was supposed to en up with me, loving me and only me. I was his first love, wasn't I? Do first loves no longer triumph in the end? I seem to have been mistaken all of these years. I guess…maybe I should finally move on. I have nothing tying me to this world besides my sister, who will be moving on soon. If I leave, will I really go to hell?

As a miko, I did many deeds that were for the good of my people, for the good of my race. But, how bad does Naraku affect me? He was the evilest thing known, to both man and demon alike, and I helped him! How foolish I was.

It is time to decide…do I stay or do I go? Should I stay here for eternity and become a wandering soul, a haunting figure with no true purpose? Or do I just move on and finally give my love the peace he deserves?

The pain! There is no turning back now. Naraku's evil deeds have outweighed my good. May you always be happy, my InuYasha. I am truly sorry I caused you so much pain. Argh! This burning feeling…this is what hell feels like?

So…this is it.

Oh, yes, I just want to take the chance to thank everyone who reviewed on my second anniversary her a few days ago. That made my day uber-special!

I just want to say one thing to one of my reviewers in response to a review I received for a previous story:
kikyouhater002: Are you a happy camper now??? She died!! I bet this what you were looking for in the last story I posted. P