Author's Note: Yo, long time no see! Sorry for that, by the way. I'm sure I could make plenty of excuses, but in the end, it's just me being crappy and working on other things. Like TSG. And watching Bleach. And Ouran High School Host Club. Which I demand that you all go see. Right now. It's better than this shitty chapter. -hates-
edit (06/15/06, 14:19): Minor phrasing edits and typo corrections, 'cause I typed up this whole thing in a real hurry (about an hour, in total) and didn't really bother checking it for errors.
Reviewer Responses: THANK YOU to everyone who has read and reviewed! All the positive feedback I've gotten has been wonderful. -hugs everybody-
And thanks to the new reply feature, I can reply to questions and whatnot individually outside chapters! So I also want to thank the ff admin for being so helpful and convenience-oriented.
Disclaimer and everything else: See the first two chapters, 'cause I'm too lazy to state all that stuff again. :P
Unit Nine: And Are You Still
Morning came after a restless night. Naruto wasn't really sure he'd slept at all.
He stirred the moment sunlight began to shine through his bedside window. His head ached, and his whole body felt cold. Figuring he might feel better if he moved around as opposed to lounging around lethargically under his covers for an hour or so as he usually did on cold mornings, the blonde boy rolled himself out of bed and made a beeline toward the bathroom. Crossing in front of the mirror, however, he stopped to look at himself and was immediately displeased. The bags under his eyes could've held groceries.
After splashing some cold water on his face to wake him up a little, he made his way to the kitchen and grabbed an apple from a basket on the counter.
He had to meet Sasuke that morning. He almost wished he'd forgotten.
His thoughts suddenly thickened with remembrance of the previous night's fiasco, and he let his gaze flick to the green and red apple he held. "Fuji", the little sticker proclaimed.
He didn't really want to go. But at the same time...
"Yes, earlier tonight. You called me by my surname while we were fighting near the door, just before Shikamaru came. I felt something like... being overtaken with emotion, though I can really say that I felt anything. Like there was some other part of me feeling those emotions that was separate from the me that was standing there fighting with you."
...It was something that needed to get done. Regardless of what he wanted to tell himself, the plain truth of the matter was that he wanted to help. Sasuke could be pretty freaking stubborn, and if left to his own devices, Naruto was fairly sure he could assume, the arrogant boy wouldn't bother doing a damn thing about it until it was way beyond his control.
What if it had something to do with Orochimaru?
Sasuke had submitted a fair report about his experience in Sound country months ago, but even if that report hadn't been classified for the eyes of only Tsunade and the council members to see, there could still be a plethora of things that the dark-eyed ninja was withholding from his peers and superiors.
What if it was Itachi?
Naruto didn't know much about how Sasuke ended up where he'd been found, but even back when he was a puny little genin brat, the only person around who had both the will and the ability to beat the young Uchiha up that bad had been his elder brother. And if it had been Itachi who'd reduced Sasuke to that condition, there was bound to be psychological aftermath.
In addition to that, there were probably a good many other things that Sasuke had gone through during the expanse of his life that Naruto had no way of knowing about and probably never would. Who was he to say that whatever was going on didn't claim its roots further back than when he even became acquainted with the boy?
Hell, who was he to say there was something really going on at all? Maybe the whole thing was just a fluke, or himself overreacting.
Well, if there was something truly the matter with Sasuke, he was going to find out what it was even if it killed him.
Which is why, despite the naggings in the back of his mind regarding any lip-locking incidents he'd had with his ex-best friend, the blonde boy left his apartment and headed out toward their designated meeting place an hour and a half later.
Sasuke stood casually, leaning against the front wall of the ninja academy. Now that Naruto thought about it, it was kind of funny. This was where they'd first met nearly four years ago, and now, walking up to the standoff-ish teenager, it was almost like they were meeting each other all over again. It gave him the urge to greet him, 'Hi, my name is Uzumaki Naruto! What's yours?'
Instead, he just called out an energetic "Yo!" Although spoken with cheer, it didn't reflect Naruto's feelings at all. What he really wanted to do was sigh and whine, and keep a lot of physical distance between them.
But of course, Sasuke wouldn't have that even if he had known. The dark-haired boy sidled up before him and grumbled a lackluster "good morning," not making any effort to seem pleased.
Naruto jutted his lower lip outward. Sure, it was pretty early in the day, but Sasuke looked like -- for lack of a more descriptive term -- hell. If Naruto had gotten little sleep, Sasuke must've gotten none at all. (Damnit, is he still trying to beat me at everything?) The skin of his face was taut, stretched tightly over his cheekbones, except below his eyes. The purplish bags there contrasted deeply to his pale skin, making him look older than he really was.
Naruto wondered if they'd just sprung up over night, or if they'd always been there and he just hadn't noticed.
In any case, it was obvious that he wasn't happy. The blond assumed that it was either because Sasuke wasn't a morning person or because he wasn't looking forward to their destination.
Suddenly reminded, Naruto stopped his mental once-over of the other boy and began walking in the direction of the Hokage Tower, the Uchiha trailing next to him, just out of sight.
"You look like you haven't closed your eyes since yesterday," Naruto began, chatting lightly. "Spend all night training?"
Sasuke's shoulders relaxed a bit, and he let out a little puff of breath. "Hm. Wouldn't you like to know?"
Naruto heard a smirk in the lilt of the other boy's voice and frowned, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his orange pants. "Stop getting all cocky. I could kick your ass any day of the week no matter how much you train!"
"Is that so?"
"Duh, of course!"
"You want to test that prediction?" Sasuke came up to walk at his side and put a hand on the blond's shoulder. It made a tiny jolt of electricity jump up Naruto's neck as he remembered how those hands had touched his shoulders the night before. And somewhere within the recesses of his mind, he wondered vaguely where else they could touch him.
He slapped the hand off with a little more force than he'd intended, throwing those thoughts somewhere far away. "Not right now! We're on our way to Tsunade-baba's!"
"She can wait a little. You're not afraid, are you?"
And suddenly, it felt like they were both genin again. He could hear it in Sasuke's voice and see it in his expression, in the familiar smirk that made his lips look thinner than they really were. For a few moments, Naruto felt like he could really fall into that. It would be so easy, to pretend they were rivals again, best friends, tangling on the edge of irresponsibility and raging against each other however they pleased. Back then, it only made them -- and the bond between them -- progressively stronger.
However, looking into the challenging fire of Sasuke's eyes, he saw amongst the well-known arrogance and sparks of annoyance a strange intensity that, for the sake of his own ease if nothing else, he wanted to call excitement instead of desperation.
"No," he replied irritatedly. "You're just trying to start a fight."
"Then why'd you ask?"
Blue eyes narrowed, and a warning growl escaped his throat. "I was just curious, bastard."
Sasuke seemed to consider this, but only for a second or two before deciding that he didn't buy it at all. "Tch, whatever. I don't need you to worry about me, Uzumaki."
"Shut up, asshole," Naruto picked up the pace of his walk again, just noticing that it had slowed down since Sasuke had touched him. It was stupid, he knew, trying to get away from the other boy and how he was right about Naruto being concerned, as he'd just catch up effortlessly, anyway. It didn't make him not want to try. "I can worry about whomever I damn well please."
Sure enough, a pale hand almost immediately planted itself on his shoulder again, gripping this time and pulling him to a dead stop.
"Then why don't you worry about yourself?" Sasuke asked tightly. "You obviously haven't slept either. Care to tell me what the problem was?"
"It's none of your business!" Naruto replied, his voice raising a bit in volume.
"Oh, but somehow I'm your business?" The Uchiha's voice was like a kunai, sharp and intent, with just a hint of restraint. It sounded as though he'd really been agitated about this.
Naruto stood silently for a minute, caught between thinking of a way to get the hand off his shoulder without instigating a physical fight and finding the answer to Sasuke's question that he didn't have. Sasuke was impatient and opted to continue before Naruto could resolve either issue.
"Aren't you being a little hypocritical, Naruto? I'm not just some charity case you can take on because you're bored!"
"Boredom was never the reason! And I've never thought of you as a 'charity case'!"
"Then why? What's in it for you?"
For a moment, Naruto was speechlessly appalled at the other boy's accusation. Was he suggesting that Naruto had some kind of... ulterior motive? He could only gape at Sasuke in disbelief, and duck his head in an effort to restrain his anger.
"You really think... you think that I'd... Gods, Sasuke, how long have we known each other? How could you?" And then he erupted. "How dare you!"
Sasuke had to fight to keep his head from impacting the nearest wall as he found himself immediately slammed up against it. The blond's fists were embedded into the lapel of his shirt, and his expression was one of fury and hurt. It could be seen clearly from Sasuke's spot only inches away.
The dark-haired boy's expression, however, contained only that excited desperation.
Unease began to grow within Naruto's anger, and he could think of nothing to say that would be accurate enough to convey his feelings. They stayed awkwardly like that until Sasuke spoke for him.
"Why are you so afraid of admitting it, Naruto?"
And suddenly, there was a hand on the back of his neck.
"Say it."
Naruto found it incredible that Sasuke could still be demanding while he was pressed against a wall. He replied harshly, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Say that you want to be rivals again."
Naruto tried to jerk away, but the hand on his nape held him fast. If anything, he was pulled minutely closer.
"I want you to be a part of my life again," Sasuke continued, "and I know you want me to be a part of yours." Naruto tried again, but with no success. Sasuke lessened their distance even more, craning his neck down slightly. "That's what you couldn't say last night, isn't it? That's why you're taking me to see that old hag, and you're angry because I'm right. Now say it!"
Naruto couldn't take it anymore, and so he kissed him fiercely, stopping the other boy's mouth from uncovering any more truths he wasn't ready to come to terms with.
Pressed against him, he felt Sasuke finally relax.
"You're late, brat!"
Naruto yelped and scampered to dodge the kunai that abruptly implanted itself into the wall. Sasuke watched without surprise. "Only by a couple of minutes! That's no reason to try to cut my head off!"
"Shut up and sit down," Tsunade commanded frustratedly. It was easy to see that she'd been having another bad morning. "And get Uchi-"
Naruto cut her off with a chain of loud, theatrical coughs. When they 'subsided', he cleared his throat and said, "Sorry, Tsunade-baba. Must be the season."
Tsunade looked at him as if to say "what the hell?", but almost immediately disregarded it, remembering Naruto's story from the week before. He had said that Sasuke's surname was what triggered the displaced behavior, right? "Whatever. Just get his scrawny as over here. Anything new you want to tell me?"
"Hm... Yeah, actually. At the Christmas party, it happened again. Well, almost," Naruto started. He watched Sasuke move across the room until he stood at the side of Tsunade's desk. "We were arguing about last week, and I called him by his family name again."
Naruto turned to look at Sasuke, who caught his cue to explain.
"I felt like another part of me got angry, and tried to force itself out," the pale-skinned boy told.
Tsunade began poking and prodding in various places on Sasuke's body, checking chakra points for abnormalities. "And did it, then?"
"No. Shikamaru came, and I snapped out of it on my own."
"Hm. Including this incident, I only have one other account of this happening, and that's what Naruto told me about his visit to your residence. Aside from both of them, do you recall this ever happening before?"
Sasuke thought for a moment, before answering a definitive "No."
The blonde woman looked up at the dark-eyed boy and asked levelly, "Is there any possibility that it's an effect of Orochimaru's curse seal?"
Sasuke's teeth ground together briefly. "I doubt it. And if it were, I imagine it would've affected me long before now."
Naruto, taking in the conversation, breathed a sigh of relief. Even if it wasn't for certain, his companion's reply took a silent burden off his shoulders. He'd assumed that Tsunade had read Sasuke's report on Sound, if not been the very first to read it, and if that was the only question she asked related to Orochimaru, then he took it to mean that the snake nin probably hadn't done anything particularly traumatic to his once-best friend during his two and a half year absence.
Sinking down into one of the chairs in front of the desk, he watched as the Hokage placed her hands on either side of Sasuke's head, two fingers lightly touching each of his temples. Green medical chakra began to stir about the appendages, and the dark-haired boy's eyelids fell closed as he relaxed to her touch.
"Your family name is what triggered it in both cases, right?" Tsunade asked, not ceasing her chakra investigation. When Sasuke answered in the affirmative, she continued. "You were very proud of your clan at one time."
"I was," Sasuke replied.
"And are you still?"
Sasuke's head tilted ever so slightly downward. "...No."
"Why not?"
Dark eyebrows furrowed, and at the same time, Tsunade removed her chakra-laced fingers. Sasuke opened his eyes. "I've... been having a dream."
At this, Naruto's ears perked up. The night before, a dream was what made the boy in question nearly strangle him. He'd had a hunch that Sasuke was lying about not remembering it, but hadn't pressed it. He himself had dreams he'd never share with anyone.
But now, in the face of opportunity, he couldn't deny that he was interested.
So when Sasuke's gaze fell hard on him in a manner that could only spell discomfort, he was naturally a little disappointed.
"You... want me to leave," he observed, rising to his feet. After all, he had promised that if there was something that the other boy didn't want to say in front of him, he would go without question.
Charcoal eyes swept back to Tsunade, and before Naruto even got the chance to fully turn around, Sasuke interjected, "You can stay." And then, after several moments of awkward silence as Naruto stared at him in surprise, he continued as if to justify himself, "It's not that it's your business, but after last night you do deserve to hear it."
The blonde boy didn't know what to do. One part of him wanted to disregard his companion's words, since it was obvious he was uncomfortable despite them, but the other part of him wanted to return excitedly to his seat and await Sasuke's words like a child before a storyteller. In the end, he didn't move at all, even as Sasuke began.
"This dream I've been having... It might be a memory, but I can't tell. Since I wasn't sure, I didn't include it in the official report." At this, one of Tsunade's small, blonde eyebrows raised. "It takes place in Hidden Sound, probably only a month or two before I returned to Konoha. I sit under a tree with white flowers, and watch the smoke rising from the pipes. There's more than usual, I think."
Naruto had no idea what "pipes" Sasuke was talking about, but thought better than to interrupt.
"And then suddenly, Itachi shows up. I guess I'd been feeling his presence lurking around for a while, so I wasn't surprised. We fought, and I was still weaker, but at the last minute, I somehow gained the upper hand. He asked if I would renounce my own blood, and I replied that I would renounce his. And then I was about to finally..."
As he trailed off, Tsunade finished for him. "But you didn't. Is that it?"
Sasuke nodded stiffly, his gaze locked firmly to the floor. "I wake up there every time."
After a few more questions and a basic scan of Sasuke's hippocampus, the Hokage came to a conclusion.
"I haven't been able to find any trace of foreign chakra within the memory area, so I can tell you that your memories haven't been tampered with by any jutsu. If there's something there that you can't remember, you're blocking it all by yourself."
For a few seconds, Sasuke looked indignant, but Tsunade held up her hand before he could speak.
"There are several reasons and methods that your body could have for doing such a thing, and most of the time, it's completely subconscious. You have no control over it."
"In other words," Sasuke assessed, "it's a defense mechanism."
"Essentially, yes." The blonde woman grabbed a pen and a sheet of clean paper from the stack next to her and began writing. "Your body may be sending this memory to you subconsciously as a way of 'breaking it to you easy,' so to speak, as the event had a profound effect on you when it factually took place."
"How are you so sure it's a memory and not just a dream?" Sasuke asked, his voice opaque and unreadable.
"Well, I can't tell you much," Tsunade offered, "but we did have unconfirmed reports that Itachi was either around or inside Hidden Sound at the time you spoke of, and that he was gone soon after. Given that that information is true, it would be my considered opinion that your dream has more basis than mere fiction."
Signing off the paper, she rolled and sealed it officially before tossing it toward Naruto.
The til-then-ignored teen faltered a little in catching it, mostly due to the unexpectedness of the action. "Me? What're you giving this to me for?"
"You, brat, are to give that to Shizune. She's downstairs running around for me, so you'll pass her on your way out."
Naruto snorted. "So what, I'm your errand boy, now, old lady?" A shuriken whizzed by his head.
"That's the delay order for the reconfiguration of Cell 7. Given the situation, it's too risky right now."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.
Tsunade sighed. She seemed to be getting tired of explaining things, and Naruto could feel her frustration from all the way on the other side of the desk. "Think about it. Sasuke's overlapping of behavioral patterns is triggered by calling him the surname he denounced in an incident his mind won't let him remember. It can't be fixed, predicted, or even studied without first being provoked, which could posssibly be more damaging than letting it run it's natural course anyway. If we were to put him back on the job without knowing the full extent of the behavioral side effects, he could screw up and get himself into big trouble. Trouble enough to have his shinobi title permanently revoked, be labeled a missing nin, or even get himself or you and Sakura killed. And as the leader of this village, I can't allow that."
And that was, quite definitively, that. Even Sasuke, as much as he disliked being called a potential screw up, was forced to remain silent among Godaime's prognosis.
"Sasuke, I want to have an eye on you as much as possible, so that if anything further happens, or the condition gets worse, someone can get you here promptly." The dark-haired ninja nodded, and, as Tsunade looked toward Naruto, the blond came to attention. "Naruto, since you're the only one that knows about this, I want you to be that person. You two should probably consider moving in together for the time being."
At this, Sasuke and Naruto shared a look of apprehension. Naruto was about to protest when Tsunade cut him off abruptly.
"And also, it's very important that word of this doesn't spread. If the higher council were to find out, Sasuke could be put on probation or even under ANBU surveillance. They don't trust my judgment, especially when it comes to a former defective of Konoha and the 'last'... of that clan."
tbc!
See? I told you all it sucked. I can't believe I made you wait 7 months for this. -shame-