I look up at the sky, searching for something to hold on to. There has to be something out there worth living for? Surely? There is one thing, yet that one thing can never come to me, never can it be mine. You.

I think of you, and as I do a warmth caresses my soul. I begin to realise why I am addicted to you, why everything about me yearns for your touch. It is love. All I can think about is you, whenever I feel alone or hopeless, you are the one thing that really is worth the effort of breathing.

A footstep is heard behind me. I don't look. I don't want to look, because if I do I will be greeted with hate. His shadow casts over me. An iron grip holds my shoulder. I want to scream, run, escape what I know is coming, yet instead I stay there, unable to move, shaking. In my terror I have forgotten to be strong. I have become weak. The room spins. I know I have just been hit, yet I block it out, I think of you. It is the only thing that can save me. Boris may be able to touch my physical being, yet he can never touch my mind. And right now, my mind is as far away from him as possible. Right now my mind is with you.

I wished you had never abandoned me. I still don't understand exactly why you did. All I know is that you did leave me, yet despite that I can forgive you, I am willing to. All I need is for you to be with me.

But you're not. I know you aren't and I know you don't want me. I was cast out of your life, disregarded when you left here, you never gave me a second thought. More pain courses through my body, but I again block it out.

In bed at night I feel my fingertips running down your smooth cheeks, the way your arms feel wrapped around me. It isn't real, I know it isn't, but I can't help but imagine. It is all I have left. It isn't a way to relieve the pain, but it helps me create a different world, safe from him.

No, dreaming of you is extremely painful, often resulting in me sobbing myself to sleep. I hate myself for it, crying like that. I know that emotions are a weakness, and I admire how well you keep yours locked away. I wish I could.

Boris has left now, leaving me in a bloody heap on the floor. I stare at it, the pile that is me. Wait…

If that is me, and I am here, it can mean only one thing. I am dead, finally. I should be shocked. I am surprised, yet not shocked. For some reason I can accept it. I am dead, it is neither bad nor good. I am free from pain now, I don't have to worry about that any longer, but I am also free from you. You can never put your arms around me like I always wanted you to. I can never taste a kiss from you, or enjoy a future with you. I know it was all in my head, but now I realise that I truly am far away from you. Or am I closer to you?

I think about you, hard. Kai, Kai, Kai…. Perhaps if I think hard enough I will find you. My head starts to swim. What is happening? Where am I going, am I going to hell?

Then it all becomes still, and quiet. I am standing next to a window, white curtains blowing out onto the balcony. The moonlight shines in, casting it's silvery light on your perfect features. I walk over and sit next to you, simply looking. You look wonderful, so peaceful, so gentle. When you sleep you let the true you shine through. There is kindness and love reflected in your face, and a tear drops from my eye as I realise just how much I want you, how I can never have you. The tear vanishes before it reaches you and it hits me how untouchable you have become. We are no longer sharing the same world. All I want is one sweet kiss, then I can rest in peace. I lean towards you, my lips so close to yours, inches away. But I can go no further. I am no longer with you.

I sit with you for the whole night, content watching your perfect countenance turn from pure silver, to pale pink and lastly to a deep gold as the morning sun kisses your skin.

I wipe away my cold, ghostly tears, even the sun can touch you. Yet not me. Life isn't fair people say, what about death? Death leaves you alone and cold, with wishes left ungranted.

I watch your face as you read the letter, about me. You seem at first to be stoic, as you usually are, but then I see a tear form in your eye. You do care! You really do care about my fate. More ghostly tears fall. I reach out for you, but my hand goes through you, and you remain unmoved.

Your suitcases are packed. You are going back to Japan. I don't want to follow anymore. You are bound to settle down with somebody else. That would be too much for me to bear. I shall stay here, and keep my memory of my last night with you intact. I want to remember you as you were, moonlight shining on your face, my lips close to yours.

Annie looked around, convinced she had heard something. The rustling of leaves on the balcony perhaps? There were stories of an unhappy spirit who dwelt here, but that was all just myth. She continued to brush her doll's hair. Then she saw a movement on the balcony, a fleeting glimpse of something. Looking out, she concluded there was nothing there, just the wind.

Tala understood. He was nothing, he hadn't been anything for ten years now. He was a noise, and occasional glimpse, a shadow. That is all he had been his entire life, and death, a shadowed thing, that no one paid attention to.

There we go! Another one up. The ending is a bit lame, I couldn't come up with anything else! R&R please!!!