Disclaimer: No, I don't own Detective Conan. Nor do I own the song "Hear You Me"

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Never Had The Chance

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He'd left to America when it all became too much.

Edogawa Conan, now age 18, had always thought that it would take no more than a year or so to get back to his normal self. To Kudo Shinichi.

That he would grow back to the age, and beyond, he'd left off at had never occurred to him.

That Haibara Ai would one day dash all his hopes of ever returning to whom he used to be, had never been a possibility.

That the black organization would seemingly disappear off the face of the earth hadn't even crossed his mind.

That'd he'd have to start his career all over again, build up his credibility again, wasn't something he seriously considered. After all, Kudo Shinichi was a famous detective trusted by one and all.

That Ran would leave to America herself, long before he did, he had never even thought of.

But that's exactly what had happened.

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There's no one in town I know
You gave me some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.

------

He remembered how Ran had taken him in as Conan; never stopping to think about the ramifications of bringing a strange boy home. Just that he needed some place to go and she certainly wasn't going to refuse him.

She'd cared for him, doted after him, made sure he had clean clothes, made his bed, cooked delicious meals for him and loved him so damn much, that Conan…Shinichi had been forever in gratitude to her. He thought that as soon as he got back to his own body not only would he tell her how much he loved her, he'd thank her for everything.

He'd never had the chance.

Ai, by nature, was a very cool and collected woman. Except in those instances when the black organization's agents had been close by, he'd never seen her lose her composure or even lend him the slightest bit of sympathy for his situation.

Which was why when she'd told him that it'd be impossible to return to their real selves and he'd seen tears in her eyes, even in the shadows, he'd nearly died from the shock.

According to Haibara, the poison had so integrated itself in their bodies, that if they were to take another pill to accelerate their growth…temporary or permanent they would die from a heart attack. And that was that.

Shortly after, Haibara had left herself. Leaving behind only a note.

Dear Kudo-kun…Shinichi,

I can never fully express my regret at what has happened. The things you have lost can all be traced back to me and I'll never be able to live that down. I'm not one to get very emotional about anything, which is why I leave behind this note instead.

I'd also like to thank you. It's only through your acceptance and protection that I am still alive. You sacrificed so much to help me; unfortunately, I can never repay you in a manner that would be helpful to you. I won't be coming back; I'll try to rebuild elsewhere, starting over and perhaps I'll be able to come into the light.

I don't know how you feel and I'm sure that you must be devastated…but you once told me—

"Don't run away, Ai.

Don't look away from your destiny."

I now turn them over to you, Shinichi. Don't run away, Kudo-kun. Don't look away from your destiny.

Yours most truly,

Miyano Shiho

He'd never quite understood just what she meant in those last few words. He'd lost everything. Ran had been his destiny and now…

After that, everything that had been culminating with the black organization washed away. They disappeared. If they were active in Japan, they were doing an excellent job of keeping it quiet.

That year, Ran had been graduating. Her own academic excellence and extracurricular experience, along with a good word from her mother, had earned her a spot in one of America's top universities. She was planning to study law; the university she was attending had an accredited law school.

He'd never been able to forget the look in her eyes at the airport as she kept looking at her cell phone and at the doorways, hoping to see him. And he'd been there all along, watching her. Her eyes had filled with a tremendous sadness and as she bent to hug him last, she'd given him a very different smile from what she gave the rest. Her parents, the detective boys, Sonoko, Professor Agasa, Heiji and Kazuha had received her trademark bright smile, which Shinichi knew to be fake.

But she had turned to him, hugged him tightly. She'd leaned into him pressing her forehead against his and smiled sadly, her eyes glimmering with tears.

"Sayonara, Conan-kun."

Ran had stood up and once again, beaming her fake smile, walked away waving. Just as she gave her boarding pass, she'd turned back to him and given him that sorrowful smile once again before turning and walking out of his life.

He'd never seen her since.

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What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.

------

But to say that his new life as Edogawa Conan was completely miserable was a lie. His parents had taken him in once again and he'd grown up very similar to the first time, just in LA. He made friends easily; he joined the soccer team and was one of the most popular students in the school. And even though he'd had to work at being taken seriously as a detective after some time he'd gained credibility. He'd begun actively taking credit for his mystery solving at age 11 and by 13, several detectives in Los Angeles had begun asking for his assistance.

His parents did ring up his situation every once in awhile and he had no problem discussing any activity that the black organization had undertaken, particularly in Europe. Nor did he mind discussing the scientific ramifications of his body's current health.

But under no circumstances would he discuss Ran. None.

Conan wasn't the arrogant jerk that Kudo Shinichi had been. He had Ran to thank for that. Watching her pain while he'd lived with her had taught him humility. Now whenever he received glory for his detective work, he shunned it or shrugged modestly. Fame no longer was so important. Not after what he'd been through.

But he hadn't had the chance to tell Ran just what she'd taught him. He'd never called her. Never said goodbye. He didn't think he could take it, let alone her reaction.

Yukiko had tried to talk about her once. She'd been in contact with Kisaki-san and had found that Ran was doing quite well at the university, in her third year. However, Eri had confided that Ran was never quite her old self.

Conan had snapped. "Don't! Just don't! I don't want to talk about her. I can't! Don't you understand that?"

Yukiko had flinched and he'd later apologized for his behavior. But she had just smiled sadly, reflecting Ran's expression at the airport.

His father had never spoken about her directly but had alluded to her whenever he discussed crime cases or different heroines in his novel. Conan had never responded but Yusaku had looked at him intently, never saying a word.

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May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

------

But Conan was now 18 years old and he too was planning on going to university. Because of his popularity, which he never really noticed and certainly never acknowledged, plenty of girls had asked him out. He'd turned down each and every one; therefore, becoming a mystery to all the young women around him.

To the American girls, Conan was such a sweet, sort of shy, very handsome guy. Despite his reserved manner, he exuded a quiet confidence that had girls flocking to him.

But Conan had given his heart away a long time ago.

It wasn't that he never thought of Ran, just the opposite. He thought of her at least once a day. But in order to get on with his life, he had to push those thoughts aside as quickly as they came.

But he hoped she was happy, that her career as an attorney was flourishing, but he knew that. Ran was working in a prestigious law firm in New York City. He'd often seen her name, and once her picture, in the newspaper. At 28, Mouri Ran was a defense attorney of growing popularity, and as of yet had never lost a case.

Like mother, like daughter.

He didn't know anything about her personal life. Refused to know. But if she had fallen in love with someone else and he could make her happy there was nothing he could do or object to. Except for the fact that it wasn't him.

But today, he was returning to Japan. Even though, he'd sworn he'd never go back. But Heiji and Kazuha were finally getting married and Heiji had conned him into coming. Sighing in defeat, he'd packed a bag and was now on his way to Osaka.

And now, as he left the airport, Edogawa Conan began walking on the crowded streets of Osaka before hailing a cab. Once inside, he gave the address to the Hattori mansion, where the wedding would take place.

A wedding. He'd known all along that it was only a matter of time before Hattori and Kazuha-chan tied the knot. The famous detective and the martial artist. Why was he here, again?

To see two of your good friends get married, just get through the day, that's all.

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So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

------

If you were the sort of person who really loved weddings, like say Suzuki Sonoko, you were likely to gush about it all day. It was beautiful. Not only was it spring but the cherry blossoms were in bloom and Hattori had previously confided in the fact that he'd first fallen for Kazuha when he'd seen her amidst the cherry blossoms. Nice reflection.

The reception was held there as well and Conan drifted around the crowd, wondering just how early he could leave without being rude. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for them. The smile he'd given Kazuha had been a sincere one and she'd looked absolutely beautiful. Just how…

Anyway, Hattori was a lucky guy.

Just then a warm hand rested on his shoulder.

"Hey, Conan-kun!" He turned and came face to face with the blushing bride, the now Hattori Kazuha.

"The bride shouldn't have to beg anyone to dance with her." She teased him, her eyes dancing.

He grinned and bowed, western-style. "May I?" Conan held his hand out.

"You may." She laughed, giving her his hand. He led her out and they began to dance to a ballad.

"Where's Hattori?" He asked, looking around.

Blushing slightly, she smiled. "Entertaining the guests. I've only danced with him once!" She frowned.

"I'm sure he wants to dance with you just as much." He winked at her and her face flushed.

In comfortable silence, Kazuha then looked up at him. "Conan-kun?"

"Hmm?" He turned to look at her, blue eyes questioning.

Kazuha started. It wasn't hard to see the resemblance between the long lost Kudo Shinichi and his distant relative, Edogawa Conan. Even through the glasses, the same penetrating gaze she'd only seen once, and it had been directed at Ran-chan, rested on Conan-kun's face.

"Conan-kun…uh…why—why did you go back to America? I mean I know that's where you're from but Ran-chan had told me that your parents had come for you once and you hadn't wanted to leave? So, why?" Kazuha asked quickly, not sure what his reaction would be.

But Conan merely smiled. "Well, before Ran…Ran-neechan was there and she looked after me. And it was nice to be in Tokyo. But when she left, it was tougher to live with Mouri-san and well I figured it was time to go back. I didn't have anyone."

"But you had Heiji and me, Conan-kun. We missed you, you know."

"I know, but…" Conan trailed off.

"You had a crush on Ran-chan, huh?" She smiled, knowingly.

"Huh? I…what?" Now it was his turn to be shocked.

"Don't try to deny it. Sure you were just a kid but I could tell. You just loved being around her. When she left, there was no point in staying, right?" Kazuha looked at him, her gaze soft.

She had no idea how right she was. "Well…" He couldn't bring himself to outright admit it, though.

"Excuse me, Conan-kun, but I believe we should switch partners." The detective of the west's Kansai accent interrupted. Hattori and his partner danced right up to them and Kazuha left Conan's arms to walk to her groom. Heiji winked at him and danced her away and Conan turned to look at his new partner, ready to tell her he didn't feel so good.

And then there she was.

Ran.

"Ran…" Conan's eyes widened at the small smile on the blushing face of Mouri Ran.

Of course! How could she not be here?!

28 year old, Mouri Ran stood watching him. Her chocolate mane, long as always, glittered as the sunlight streamed across it, lighting up her beautiful azure eyes. The same trim figure she'd always sported clad in a teal dress that grazed her knees. Its thin straps, with small embroidered flowers wrapped around them, rested on her smooth shoulders.

The mere sight of her took his breath away.

Beautiful was all he could think. Beautiful

Ran stepped up to him and took his hand, placing it on her waist, resting her hand on his shoulder. Raising her other hand, she clasped it with his and her eyebrows rose, waiting for him to take the lead.

Still not getting much past beautiful, he somehow managed to sway across the room with her in his arms, unable to say a word.

"Conan-kun?" Her demure smile and laughing eyes were still there, her hand squeezing his shoulder gently.

"Ran…Ran-neechan. I didn't know you'd be here." He managed to get out.

"Of course I'd be here! Kazuha asked me to be a bridesmaid but I couldn't, what with my work in New York. Which…you probably don't know about since you stopped writing and calling long ago!" She narrowed her eyes, glaring.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I thought you'd be too busy to care." A lie. Another lie.

"Are you crazy? Why would you think I wouldn't care? Just because I went to college and you moved back to America didn't mean you had to stop corresponding!"

"I know, Ran-neechan. I'm sorry, really!" He found himself pleading for her forgiveness. She couldn't be mad at him. Not at Conan.

"We even live in the same country! Come on, Conan-kun! You're just like—" Ran's eyes widened as she stopped abruptly, as if she'd said something wrong.

Conan looked away. "I really am sorry, Ran-neechan. I've been such a jerk."

"It's Ran. Just call me Ran. And it's ok, Conan-kun." Ran looked at him, the smile coming back to her face.

Relieved, he smiled back. "Conan. Just Conan, Ran."

Her smile grew wider. "All right, Conan."

Blushing, he looked away and the song ended, but they didn't move away.

A moment later, Ran stepped back but held his hand. "Come on, Conan. Let's go for a walk in the gardens."

As they walked along the path, Ran chattered on about her cases and what the big apple was like.

"It's kind of like Tokyo. So crowded…and because of that I don't feel so alone." Ran's face fell for a moment before turning to him, smiling brightly.

"So what about you, Conan? You haven't said a word about yourself!"

Conan started. His attention having been so focused on watching her talk, picking up on what she said here and there. She was so mesmerizing he could only focus on so much.

"Well, I'll be graduating soon; I'll be attending university in the fall. But I'm really…a detective." He said quickly.

Ran eyes grew large. "A detective?"

"Yeah, been one really since I was about 11." All the while, he watched her face closely.

"It figures." Ran smirked, but then turned away, gazing at the flowers…that sad smile from the past reflecting on her features.

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And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a love so big,
God wouldn't let it live.

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After the reception was over, as the bride and groom were preparing so that they'd be ready to leave mid-morning, Heiji pulled Conan aside.

"Stay the night, Kudo. She'll be here, too." Heiji shot a glance at the young attorney's direction.

"Its Edogawa, Hattori, Edogawa. And I can't, you know that." Conan began to walk away.

But Ran walked up and took his arm. "You're staying right, Conan? Kazuha and Heiji invited me to spend the night, you should too!" Her eyes questioning and persuasive.

"I'd like to but I can't. I've actually booked a hotel close to the airport." He said, trying not to look at her. She made everything so damn hard.

"Conan, the time you spend leaving from here to the hotel will be equivalent to the time it'll take you in the morning to get to the airport." She began persuasively. "Besides, it'll be tough to flag down a cab at this hour, whereas in the morning you'll be sure to find one, thus cutting down on the time you have to wait." Ran concluded, hand at her waist, shaking her finger at him, in full courtroom mode.

"Besides, don't you want to spend some more time with me?" She asked, gone were the clear, logical tones replaced by the sweet voice he knew so well.

"Well, I…" But even if he could have brought himself to refuse, she tugged on his hand and led him down the hallway.

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It was about 4 am, when Conan woke up, in one of the spare rooms. He groaned, it was still very dark outside. He shivered, not from the open window, but he was sure he'd been having a great dream…one he couldn't remember. But he could guess who the star was.

Creak.

Conan cranked his head out, trying to determine where the sound had come from. He sighed. Normally, he probably would have rolled over, but Hattori wasn't likely close enough to check things out and call it paranoia but Ran was and he wasn't about to let anything happen to her.

Shrugging a shirt on, Conan shuffled into his slippers and opened his door, careful not to make a sound. He walked out, cautiously looking over every corner, but came across nothing unusual. And that was pretty secure, considering he specialized in detecting the unusual.

But he was wide awake now, and slightly annoyed, he walked out onto the patio and looked around, hoping he'd tire soon and get the rest of his night back.

His eyes strayed to a lone figure, staring out into the garden. But they weren't so strange, considering the long dark hair could only belong to one person.

Ran turned to look at him, startled, and Conan could hear his sharp intake of breath. She was wearing a white camisole and blue plaid pajama pants, her feet in slippers. Her face seemingly glowed, basking in the moonlight and subconsciously Conan stepped closer, now less than a meter away.

"C-Conan." She whispered and she leaned back against the railing. "I'm sorry, I didn't think I was making much noise. You should go back to bed."

Conan leaned against the railing as well, their elbows brushing, sending a shiver up his spine. "Its okay, I was already awake."

"I couldn't sleep. It's always kind of hard for me to sleep in a strange bed, despite its luxury." She smiled looking around.

Conan grinned. "How tough can it be, you're pretty well off, what with being a famous attorney."

"I could say the same for you, tantei-san." Her words, teasing.

They stayed silent for a few moments just enjoying each other's company. And the words, Conan had wanted to tell her for so long rose but lodged in his throat.

"So, solving those cases must be no sweat for you, considering how long you've been doing it, huh, Shinichi?"

"Sure, a few are difficult but you can always use reason with the human…uh, what?" Conan stammered.

No. No…how?

"Hello, Shinichi." She said it simply, no questions in her tone. She knew.

"Ran…Ran-neechan, what are you—" Conan, no Shinichi, faltered.

She stepped forward, her hand brushed against his cheek. The sad smile drifting across her lips.

"Ran…" He croaked. "Why?"

She stepped closer, her eyes so sad. "Where are your glasses, Conan-kun?"

His hand instinctively came up to where his frames should be, cursing himself for having forgotten them. He never forgot them but he just had to go and do it now!

"I've known for many years now, Shinichi, even before I left. I was just waiting…for you."

"Ran, I couldn't…I don't know what to tell—" Shinichi faltered, again. He didn't know what he could say.

"Then just start at the beginning, Shinichi. Tell me everything." Ran's face was so patient. No anger shone in her eyes, she was simply waiting. Like she had for so many years.

And he did. Everything, from that last day at Tropical Land to Haibara's discovery. The facts, the reasons behind them. Everything.

Ran's hand shook and her eyes were so wide and her other palm came to rest across her mouth, as if holding something in. Tears, a scream…he didn't know.

"You should have told me, Shinichi. I could have…"

"Could have what, Ran? There's nothing to get me back to who I used to be. I'm Conan now, a high school senior ready to graduate. Even if I should be Kudo Shinichi, age 28."

"I could have helped you! Helped you deal with it all. Maybe I don't have the scientific background to help you there but I could have carried some of the burden!" Her eyes flickered, an angry fire behind them.

His hands came to rest on her shoulders. "I wouldn't have let you, Ran. You've suffered enough. I couldn't do that to you again."

She stepped towards the railing again, her back towards him. "Do what, again, Shinichi? Do you have any idea how I've been living? I live all alone, in a huge, strange city and yes, I have friends, but this entire time I've been waiting for the man I love to come home to me!" She burst out, fists banging against the rail.

Shinichi's jaw dropped.

She whirled around. "Yes, Shinichi. I love you! Didn't you know? Or did you think that I'd moved on and was engaged to some hot-shot American lawyer?" She held up her left hand.

"See? No ring, nothing! You're not in a child's body, anymore, Shinichi! Its not little Conan-kun and his Ran-neechan! Its Shinichi and Ran, again. Like it always had been." Her voice took a softer, gentler tone and her eyes glimmered.

Shinichi stepped forward, his hands coming up to her shoulders. Should he? Yes. No.

Don't run away, Kudo-kun.

Don't look away from your destiny.

Her eyes widened in anticipation, her lips slightly parted.

"I love you too, Ran." He murmured, softly. Their faces were so close.

Ran's eyes lit up and that beautiful smile that he wanted to see on her face forever and ever, appeared. Her arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"But."

Her eyes changed again, confused. "But?"

He cupped her face with his hands, her skin so soft. Caressing her cheek, he leaned in and whispered:

"But we can't be together."

Ran's chin quivered as she tried to back away but he held her close. "But…why?" Her voice, hoarse and shaky.

Brushing her bangs off her forehead, he sighed. "Ran, no matter how much time passes we will always attract attention. Don't you think that Mouri Ran dating the young boy she used to baby-sit, who looks remarkably like her high schoollove isn't going to get people talking?"

Ran's eyes pleaded. "But Shinichi, that's it. People will talk, who cares. Besides, we could live in America!" Her hands reinforced their grip on his waist.

Drawing nearer, his voice trembled. "I will always have enemies, Ran, and even if the black organization hasn't shown up in awhile, they will again. And if…when they do they'll kill everyone who knows or might know. Not just our old friends here but the people we know in America. And you…I could never let them near you, Ran."

"Shinichi…" Tears gathered in her eyes, threatening to spill over

"I know, Ran. I know." Combing his fingers through her hair, he pressed his forehead to hers.

"I just…God! Is it always going to be like this?" The last of her resolve broke and her words were sobbed out.

"Ran…I swear if I could…" Frantically, he touched and stroked her face trying to calm her…and himself.

He could feel a sob lodge in his throat and he tried to swallow it when Ran's arms came up to his neck and drew him to her, in an unmistakable kiss. Shinichi arms came around her and he pulled her into a tight embrace, clutching her camisole.

The kiss, gentle at first, its passion quickly swelled by their fear, longing, desperation and love. Ran's hand combed through the back of his soft, dark hair. She held onto him desperately, her lips pressed firmly against his…trying to keep him there, to never leave her again.

He pressed her closer, his hand sliding to her lower back and for a moment, time froze and nothing could keep them apart.

But it couldn't last forever, and they softly broke away and Shinichi's face could still feel Ran's tear streaked cheek against his. Ran leaned back to look at him and tears rose again, she leaned in and rested her head in the crook of his neck, he cradled her gently in his arms, trying desperately not to cry himself.

They held onto each other for the rest of the night.

------

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

------

Around 9 o'clock in the morning, Heiji and Kazuha were saying their goodbyes and Heiji pulled Shinichi aside as Kazuha and a tired, heartbroken Ran chatted.

"Kudo, did you…" The green-eyed detective looked at him, inquiringly.

"Yes." Shinichi replied, quietly.

"Great! Then…oh." Heiji looked down, not sure what to say.

"Hattori…you understand." Shinichi looked towards Ran, who was actively trying to look happy for her friend.

"Yeah." Heiji couldn't bring himself to look at his friend, afraid of what he might see.

Shinichi looked at Kazuha and suddenly his suspicions arose.

"She knows, doesn't she?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, sorry, Kudo but…she swore she wouldn't say anything." He looked apologetic.

"Its all right, she didn't. Just now, though, she looks so concerned over Ran and it just kind of dawned on me." Shinichi shrugged, crossing his arms.

A few minutes later and the happy couple left and Hattori's parents smiled at their visitors and excused themselves.

Shinichi, now dressed in a green sweater and jeans, watched Ran head over to the small fountain and sit, just as quickly he joined her. Ran tugged at her black turtleneck sweater and wrapped her pink jacket tighter around her.

"Ran?" He asked, tentatively, scooting closer to her. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Why, Shinichi?" Her words trembled slightly and she let out a sigh. Why him? Why her? Why them? The questions remained unspoken but stood out painfully.

His arm came around her waist. "I don't know. We'll never know."

Ran looked up at him, her hand cupping his cheek. She smiled sadly, her eyes shining. Shinichi swallowed roughly and he leaned forward, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, Ran." His voice rough with emotion, his fingers threaded through her hair.

Ran opened her mouth to respond when a cab arrived, honking its horn. Her eyes widened, startled and with a distinct fear. She swallowed, brushed her hands over her dark blue jeans and got up to get her bags, Shinichi trailing behind her.

She walked up to the cab and placed her bags in the trunk. She turned to look at him and her lips parted as she tried to say something, anything.

Shinichi stared back, hands in his pockets, because he didn't think he could let her go otherwise.

Suddenly, Ran shot forward wrapping her arms around him, clinging onto him…never wanting to let him go. His arms quickly held her tight, gripping her jacket.

She tilted back slightly, brushed her lips against his and took his face in her hands and whispered to him,

"I willalways love you, Shinichi." Tears spilled over, her voice wavering.

He nodded, unable to speak and Ran broke away, sliding into the cab. She quickly rolled down her window.

Shinichi gripped the windowsill, hands shaking violently but he somehow managed a smile.

"Goodbye, Ran."

Ran's sad smile rose again and her tears still streamed down her face, hugging herself she looked at him.

"Goodbye, Shinichi."

And then the cabbie drove off, leaving behind a breeze of dust. Shinichi watched until it was mere dot in the distance…until it…and she… was gone for good.

Turning away, he left to get his own bags and waited for his cab.

And then Shinichi realized that it'd been his destiny to see Ran again and tell her how much he loved her because she deserved to know.

He just couldn't be with her the way he wanted. The day he'd gone after the men in black had signaled a change is his fate, something he could ever give back.

He'd never get his chance.

------

May angels lead you in…

------

The End.

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Sapphire Stars' Notes: No, I don't know what possessed me to write this. Normally, I wouldn't dream of writing angst and if any of you have read "Walking in the Rain," what with all that fluff, I figured I was incapable of it. Go figure. The song was heavy inspiration and a few pronouns were changed just to fit better.

I just got to thinking that there's always another route for Shinichi and Ran/Ran-neechan and Conan-kun to take. But I will say that I was this close ::holds two fingers very close together:: to making this a happy ending for the both of them but I thought that it'd compromise the integrity of the story so instead you get this, hehe.

As always your reviews are much appreciated! See the review button? Click there!