Authors Note: Please note this is a sister story. This story is a continuation of Family Bond. I would suggest reading Family Bond prior to Coming of Age to learn more about the new character, Scout Marie Curtis, a.k.a Sissy:
In my brother's gang they often called me by my nickname, Sissy. My oldest brother Darrel actually gave me the name when I was about seven. All of the boys in the neighborhood wrestled and played rough... Darry always told me to get into the game. One day I told him I didn't want to get hurt and he has called me Sissy ever since. For the longest time my parents thought he called me Sissy because I was the little sister. They were not to happy to hear the truth later that Darry was actually teasing me - Story excerpt from Family Bond
Scout is the 'seven minutes younger' twin sister to Ponyboy, her intelligence and common sense levels are higher than her twin's yet she is more analytical like Darry and less creative then Pony. She is very quiet and shy and not a "greaser girl". She is tough when she needs to be, but prefers to stay clear of violence whenever possible. She gets along very well with all of her brothers, even Darry.
Starting again at school on Tuesday, after the guardianship hearing, was the moment I was reminded so vividly that my parents were dead. As I wandered through the day countless teachers and students who I did and did not know would tell me how sorry they were. I know they were only trying to convey their sympathy, but for me each word just made me feel more numb than the moment before. It was true. My parents were gone forever.
The rest of the day was a haze and when I got home I dutifully did my homework and then crawled into bed till the next morning. On Wednesday and Thursday I stayed in bed all day and told Darry I didn't feel well. When he felt my forehead it was warm because I was snuggled into the covers. He gave me some aspirins and went about his day. No one in the family seemed to care or notice until Thursday night. That is when Darry tried to pull me out of bed for dinner.
"Scout if you are sick you need to go to the doctor. Otherwise you need to come and eat."
"I'm just not hungry for dinner." I pulled the covers over my head and wished he would go away. They say there are stages of grieving and no two people grieve alike. I definitely had found myself trapped in the shock and depression phases.
"Girl you need to come and eat something, it will probably make you feel better." Darry called again. "Come on let's go!"
Just to keep Darry from bothering me anymore I crawled out of bed for dinner and ate a little of each thing he had made, then I crawled back in bed. On Friday I finally pulled myself together enough to go to school. Mainly because I didn't want Darry to have to take a day off of work to take me to the doctor. Friday night I did my homework and then went back to bed for the weekend.
I wasn't totally useless to the family. Over the weekend I did everything I was suppose to. I joined the boys for meals, did my chores, cooked or cleaned when it was my turn and then I went back to my room to be alone. I didn't see the problem with my behavior, but Darry sure did.
I came home from school on Monday and plopped my heavy bag of homework down onto the dining room table. We were home later than usual because Two-Bit stayed in the school parking lot and flirted with a group of greaser girls for over an hour. Ponyboy and I finished our algebra together and then he cooked dinner.
I sat at the table slowly completing the last of my assignments when Darry and Sodapop came through the door. The arrival of Soda marked the beginning of chaos in the living room. The guys all began to taunt each other and wrestle around. At first Darry didn't pay much attention to me as he went to his room to put his work stuff away, but the next stop was right by my side.
He looked down at me like an angry dean at a boarding school. "Scout, got your homework done?"
"Yes." I mumbled and threw him my assignment notebook so he could check everything. I wasn't happy with Darry. I felt he was being too pushy. All I wanted was to go to bed and stay there. I didn't see the problem with it. I wasn't costing the family money because I wasn't eating much and I wasn't in the way so everyone else had more space. I was also upset with Darry because over the weekend he made a rule that foiled my plan of solitude. He required me to stay up till at least eight o'clock. So now all I did was sit at the table and wait for the time to pass. I think that annoyed Darry even more then my going to bed early.
"Scout!" Darry barked for my attention. "It says here you have a test over the first three chapters of the book The Grapes Of Wrath."
"Yeah so." I shrugged and picked at the tip of my pencil.
"Yeah So! … You haven't even cracked that book open!" Darry's voice began to rise. "You can't just mope around this house all your life." Darry slammed the notebook down on the table. "Now get your book out and start those chapters."
"I don't need to. I read that book a year ago." I stared at the table not wanting to meet Darry's gaze.
"A year ago!" My oldest brother continued to rant as the boys in the living room quieted down to either hear the argument or to keep from being the next to get in trouble. "Scout! The test isn't going to just have basic questions on it about material you remember from a year ago. They are going to test you on specific things that you will only know from reading the chapter recently!"
I heard what he was saying but all I told myself was that he didn't think I could take care of myself. He didn't think I could get the jobs done that I needed to do. Hadn't he been paying attention over the last weeks since mom and dad died? Hadn't he been paying attention a year ago?
I thought about the Christmas present dad had bought me. I remember opening the paper and noticing the anticipation grin on my dad's face. I read the title of the book. The Grapes of Wrath. It was a thick book with over 600 pages. I could still hear my dad's voice as he sat with his arm around me. "Scout, that there is a favorite book of mine. I was hoping maybe you and I could read it together, out loud. I'll read a chapter to you and then you can read one to me." It took us a few months to find the free time to share that book. Sometimes we read in the living room or in my room. My favorite place we read was in the sunshine on the front porch. I couldn't believe Darry hadn't remembered that was one of dad's favorite books. I couldn't believe Darry would make me read that book knowing it was the last book I had read with our dad.
Darry snapped for my attention. "Scout get those chapters read!"
With Darry pushing me to read the book my emotions filled with anger. Reading that book was just too hard right now. Heck for me being awake was too hard right now. I snapped and screamed at him. "What the hell do you want from me Darry? Huh? I'll take the damn test and I will pass it with an A just like you want me to. So would you just shut up and get off my back?"
The house fell silent. Everyone had heard me yell at Darry and they were waiting on pins and needles to see what would happen next. I still didn't look at Darry. I kind of felt that if I didn't see him he wasn't really there. Besides, looking at him lately only reminded me of my dad, and I wasn't very happy with that man right now. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ponyboy and Johnny appear in the kitchen doorway to see what was going on.
Darry seemed frozen in his thoughts. I don't think either he or I had ever thought I would yell at him like that. Darry looked down his nose at me and calmly said. "Sissy, go to your room."
"Gladly!" I snapped back and stood up from my chair. I turned to my left and noticed the boys in the living room staring at me. The look on Soda's face caught my attention the most. He looked like someone had just kicked his favorite puppy and there wasn't anything he could do about it. I thought about whether he was on my side or Darry's side. I couldn't tell. As I turned all the way around I noticed Darry towering near me with his arms folded across his chest and eyes staring down at me. I was wrong he didn't look like dad. Dad would have never glared at me like that. I walked into my room and had the satisfaction of slamming both my doors. I crawled into bed. I was exactly where I wanted to be.
Just as I had done the days before, the next day was no different. I woke, showered, dressed and went to school. I passed the test on the book just like I told Darry I would. At school for lunch I went to the cafeteria and sat alone at a table in the corner. Even the geeks in school had more friends than me. That was all right, I told myself. I didn't want any friends. The less people around me meant fewer people to please and fewer friends to worry about losing. After school Two-Bit, Johnny, Ponyboy and I came straight home. I liked that. I had plans to finish my schoolwork and go to bed before Darry got home.
I pulled myself up to the table and opened my science book. Ponyboy had finished his school work during study hall so he had the evening free. The guys were busy talking about getting out of the house and going somewhere, but I couldn't hear everything they were saying. I was caught up in my book when a voice made me jump.
"Scout," Two Bit had come to the side of the dining room table. "Hey we are going down to Artie's café… why don't you come along with us. I'll buy you a Coke or some fries or something if ya want."
Politely I refused. "No thanks Two-Bit. I just want to stay home."
Two-bit grabbed a chair and spun it around to sit on it backwards. "See Scout, that's the problem. I think you need to get out and do something. Staying here at home, in bed has just got you all tensed up."
"No it hasn't. I'm fine Two-Bit."
"No you're not. We all heard ya yelling at Darry yesterday."
I rolled my eyes. "You know what Two-Bit…. Darry just didn't know what he was talking about, I don't need to read that book…. I already read it. But do you think Darry remembers that? NO!"
"Now how is Darry suppose to remember if you read that book? You and Pony are always reading a book of some kind."
Thinking back again to reading the book started to bother me. I felt myself becoming upset and snapped at Two-Bit too. "Just get lost Two-Bit!"
"Whoa! What is your problem?" Two-bit snapped back.
I looked over at him as my eyes turned red from tears and I screamed. "I'll tell you what my problem is! My parents are dead! They are dead and gone and I will never get them back. I'll never have my mom to teach me to cook or to sew my wedding gown or to play the piano for……." I steered away from that awful thought and calmed a little bit. "You don't understand Two-Bit, when I am awake I think about the accident. I see the hill, the tracks, the train. I can see inside the windshield and my mind tries to visualize what my parents went through. I see their bodies rocked by the impact and I wonder….." I sniffled as my voice cracked. "I wonder if they had time to think of us. I wonder if they actually did die right away or did one of them have to look over and see the other dead. I just can't get those images out of my mind and they hurt so bad." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "But when I'm asleep…. none of it hurts…. you can't feel pain when you are asleep."
I looked over at Two-Bit's face which had a sick, white blank look to it. I don't think he had ever thought that I would be suffering in that way. I glanced over his shoulder at Johnny and Ponyboy on the couch. Pony's face was tense as if he was holding back tears himself. I knew that he understood what I was going through, Pony and I always understood each other.
Through my tears I went back to answer a question from earlier. "I don't want to read the Grapes of Wrath. I already read it. Last year, don't you remember?" Two-bit shook his head no so I reminded them. "Dad and I sat out on the front porch and read it together. I already read that book with my dad and I don't think I will ever read it again…. you know what I mean?" I tearfully looked at the older greaser in front of me. Most people would consider him a hood, and he was, but he had good qualities too. Two-Bit was caring and a good listener and he always seemed to know what people needed to cheer them up. This time was different though. He was speechless.
Two-Bit stood up, put his jacket on and eyed me for a moment. I caught the stare from his round green eyes and directed mine to my book in front of me to pretend like I had returned to reading it. Two-Bit cleared his throat. "Well I guess if you won't go with us on your own I'm gonna have to force you." With a smile on his face he reached down and hoisted me off the chair and over his shoulder. "Grab the door boys!" He called to Johnny and Ponyboy as he slapped my on the butt. "We're going out and she's coming with us."
Johnny and Ponyboy were caught off guard at Two-Bit's tactics, but they were followers and they would do whatever Two-Bit wanted to do. Johnny jumped from the couch and swung the front door open and held the screen door.
"Two-Bit!" I stared to kick and wiggle. "Put me down! I'm not going anywhere!"
I could hear Two-Bit giggling. "Nope you're not going anywhere, you're going with us to Artie's!"
"Ponyboy! Tell him to put me down. I still have homework to do."
Ponyboy wiped his eyes and followed me out the front door. He was still upset from my comments and he didn't say anything. By the time we reached Two-Bit's car I gave up the fight. I could pout just as well at the café as I could at home. I climbed into the back seat with Johnny as Ponyboy jumped into the front.
"Hey Two-Bit," Pony lit up a cigarette to calm his nerves. "Stop by the DX I need to get some money from Sodapop."