Growing Up Sand-Nin Style
Hi! Lol. Welcome to chapter 3. Lol. I'm in an uberly good mood because the email alert system is up again so I can see just how many reviews I have! (I am so conceited... smack me, please...)
Anyway (I'm putting this in all my fics) my new ficcy, Crimson Love, is posted, and it only has 3 chapters, but already has 24-ish reviews! Gasp! That's.... (does math) 8 reviews a chapter! And they're still comin'! However, the site is kind of catching up on it's self, so I'm getting reviews I read on the site three days ago in my mail now. But oh well. Soon, I'll get brand new reviews, and then I shall be a happy little writer again! Yay!
Please review!
Oh yeah... Someone reviewed two minutes ago and said "Why didn't it show that Rynn was pregnant in Bozenjishitsu?" Um... You know what, she didn't notice. There's a lot of things that Rynn is not at all aware of... Pregnancy is one of them. I love Rynn... but she's just a little... blonde in another life. Lol.
Blame KNK, not me.
Chapter Three: Mommy, Where Do Babies Come From?
Kyu smiled slightly, peeking in the twins' room. Within this room were two beds with frames built to look like rocksides. Standing on each of the beds were the bed's respective twin, pillow in hand.
"I WAS BORN FIRST!" Kurou shouted, smacking his sister with his pillow.
"SOMEONE AS STUPID AS YOU COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BORN FIRST!" Kura shouted, hitting him back.
Kurou ducked, glancing at the door and, upon seeing his mother, cried, "Mommy, who was born first?"
"Do I have to answer that?" she asked, coming in and taking their pillows.
"Yes!" they said together.
"Junior was born first, by about three minutes," Kyu answered.
"TOLD YOU!" Kurou stuck his tongue out at his twin while Kyu wrestled him under his covers.
"How come?" Kura asked, looking disappointed, crawling under her covers under her own free will. (A/N: Oh, you little suck up...)
"Daddy didn't explain that?" Kyu raised an eyebrow.
"He just gave us the pictures," Kura answered.
Kyu sighed. "Ok, you know what sex is, don't you? He explained that?"
"Mommy plus Daddy," Kurou said at once.
Poor Kankurou was doomed to be chastised when Kyu went to bed.
"Yes, sort of." Kyu sighed and sat down between the two beds. "Ok, my mom gave me this talk when I was ten because she didn't think I was old enough, but if you guys are old enough to ask questions, I guess you're old enough. Ok, Daddy's explaination was... slightly far from the truth. Does Daddy still give you guys baths together?
Kura nodded. "Yep."
If Kankurou was lucky, he wouldn't have to sleep on the couch.
"Ok, then you've noticed you have slightly different bodies?"
"Kurou has a thingy!" Kura cried at once. Kurou grinned happily.
"...Yeah, Kurou has a thingy. Daddy has a thingy too. So does Uncle Shikamaru and Uncle Gaara."
"I thought I was special," Kurou said in a disappointed voice.
"You are, since Kura, Aunt Temari, Aunt Rynn and I don't," Kyu reassured him. "Anyway, there's a reason why only guys have thingies."
"Why?" chorused the twins.
"They use it for sex," Kyu answered unblushingly.
"Ewwww!" Kura said at once, ducking under the covers.
"DADDY, DO YOU USE YOUR THINGY FOR SEX?" Kurou called into the next room.
"WHAT?!"
"Nevermind!" Kyu called, clamping a hand over Kurou's mouth. "Don't tell him I'm giving you this talk, or he'd get offended and not talk to us for an hour."
"How does Daddy use his thingy for sex?" Kura asked, emerging again.
"Kura, you remember when you were a baby and you used to reach in your diaper to make sure you did something?" Kyu asked, grinning.
"Ew, Kura!" Kurou cried.
(Fast forward about twenty minutes because S.N.G. forgot what her mother said when her little sister got the talk... five minutes ago...)
"And so, my dear little kiddies," Kyu said to the awe-struck faces starring at her, "it has come to my attention that sex is NOT gross. It is the single most under-rated sport anyone ever thought up."
"When can we have sex?" Kurou asked, looking fascinated.
"WHEN YOU'RE THIRTY!" was the desperate cry from the other room.
"What. A. Hypocrit," Kyu said, glaring at the wall seperating the two rooms.
"What, Mommy?"
"Nothing, nothing..."
Later that night...
"Mommy?" The door to Kyu and Kankurou's room cracked open, a wall of light breaking through the darkness.
"What?" was the tired, croaking answer from the entanglement of covers and two lumps on the bed.
"I still don't understand where babies come from," Kurou said, crawling up onto the bed. "You never really explained that."
"Yes, I did," Kankurou said tiredly, pulling up his pillow to hide his face.
"No, you didn't," Kyu said, pinching him.
"So, you didn't either?" Kankurou rubbed the injured spot.
"I thought I did..." Kyu turned to look at Kurou. "What do you need to know?"
"How does the baby get made from a chicken egg and a tadpole?" Kurou asked. (A/N: My friend Kate asked her mom that when she got the talk. I was there because I was always over her house. It was really funny. I read the book so I knew what she was talking about, HA!)
"Chicken egg and a... What the freaky?" Kankurou looked at Kyu.
"I did NOT say that," she snapped, sitting up. "I drew them a picture!"
"So did I, but you don't see him talking about chicken eggs and tadpoles after MY talk, do you?"
"Shut up..." Kyu stifled a yawn. "It's not a chicken egg, it's a human egg. And it's not a tadpole, it's a micro-organism Daddy makes without knowing it."
"Really?" father and son said together.
Kyu gave Kankurou a look.
"Hey, I never got a talk, either!" Kankurou cried defensively. "Baki tried, but I declined, thank you very much."
Kyu: (falls over anime-style)
"Ok, well, look," said that poor, harassed female, recovering from her fall, "when Daddy's things and Mommy's thing meet up, they join together and make the right kind of thing-a-ma-jig to make a baby. HOWEVER, when we made a thing-a-ma-jig for you and Kura, there were two, and that's why there are two of you."
"I feel educated," Kankurou said thoughtfully.
Kyu rolled her eyes and turned to Kurou. "Do you understand now?"
"I'd feel better if I got a demonstration," Kurou said unblushingly.
Kyu and Kankurou turned beet red in a matter of three point five seconds.
Kurou POOFED, allowing Gaara to kneel in his place, giggling to himself. "You should have seen your faces!"
"GAARA!" Kankurou shouted, punching his brother in the jaw (such a kind, caring big brother, isn't he?). "GET OUT!"
Ok, well... that's it for now. I don't have any other chapters or ideas now... if you have anything you want these kiddies to experience along the ways of growing up, let me know and I'll get around to writing it...
Maybe.