A/N: Here's an odd circumstance. When I watch Enterprise, I barely even notice Malcolm and Hoshi, but I can't get enough Malcolm/Hoshi 'ship fic. Here's my first attempt at it, written in three parts, with (IMO) distinctly different styles. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: While I dream of being Gene Roddenberry's long lost daughter, alas! a dream is but a dream.

Gossip

"It's just so sad!" Hoshi exclaimed.

"Here we go again," Malcolm said, rolling his eyes. "I knew you couldn't leave it alone."

"What?" Travis asked looking from one to the other and back again.

"What else?" Malcolm asked. "The continuing saga of Commanders in Love."

"Sometimes I think you have no romance in you at all, Malcolm," Hoshi said with a pout.

"I do," Malcolm said affrontedly, "I just don't go sticking my nose in other people's business."

"Can I help it if people tell me things?"

"I suppose not. Unfortunately, it's never actually the people involved who have this urge to share with you."

"What's the scoop, Hoshi?" Travis asked with an amused smile.

"Well," Hoshi began, leaning in conspiratorially, "You know ever since everyone heard about T'Pol's marriage, there have been people saying she never really cared about poor Trip. Don't you believe it! It turns out she was forced into the marriage by her family."

"Why would they do that?"

"My source didn't say, but it's pretty obvious... It's because she's in love with a human."

"Go on, tell him your reasons for this brilliant theory." Malcolm's tone conveyed his skepticism.

Hoshi blushed. Leaning in even closer, she whispered, "Yesterday, they both downloaded the same book from the ship's library – Romeo and Juliet."

Travis appeared to be digesting the information. Hoshi glanced at Malcolm with just a little triumph sparkling in her eyes, a look that quickly vanished when Travis asked, "How could you possibly know that?"

"Sources," Hoshi said defensively.

"Don't you believe it," Malcolm mocked Hoshi with an echo of her phrase. "We have a spy in our midst."

"I am not," Hoshi objected, "I just happened on the information."

"How?" Malcolm challenged.

"Accidentally," she said petulantly.

"Mmm-hmm. Honestly, Hoshi, sometimes I don't know if I should report you or turn you over my knee."

Hoshi cocked an eyebrow at Malcolm, causing him to furiously blush. She turned away to hide her grin.

"I, ah, have to...go," Malcolm stammered. "See you tonight. At dinner! I mean I'll see you at dinner. Probably. Tonight."

"Bye, Malcolm," Hoshi said with a wide smile. She watched him exit before telling Travis, "I'd better go, too, Travis. Are you coming?"

"Not just yet. I'll see you on the bridge," he replied. He watched her walk away, then slipped over to the next table. "Hess, did you catch that?"

"Oh, I almost died! Can you believe he said that?"

"You should have seen her face," Travis grinned. "She didn't look at all opposed to the idea."

"They're so cute when they bicker like that. How long is it going to take for Malcolm to get a clue?"

"I think someone's going to have to spell it out for him."

"Well, in the meantime, this interesting tidbit should cheer up Commander Tucker for a little while, at least."

"You're not going to tell him about..."

"No, of course not," Hess exclaimed, "just the spanking part. The commander lives for Hoshi-and-Malcolm gossip!"