Frankie goes to Hollywood
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts... Puppies, ice cream, fat people falling over..."
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My mind has been filling with Fosters fanfics this month. It's crazy, crazy I tell you! Here's a songfic for Frankie, the song is 'Little Girls' from the musical 'Annie'...obviously, it's been altered a wee bit.
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Frankie groaned. It was another 'wonderfull' day at Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends. Herriman had already ordered her to change the toilet rolls, AGAIN, and make dinner, and clean up AFTER dinner, and now...now she had laundry duty!
"We seriously need to get some more staff here", she grumbled, "It's bad enough I have to look after 500 Imaginary Friends, but to do it on my own? Seeesh! Hasn't Herriman ever heard of Jobshop?"
She continued muttering about her overworked and underpaid lifestyle as she stomped down the stairs. She didn't get to enter the laundry room, however. The reason for this was that something had latched onto her side. A big, purple, hairy something.
"Ed!", she snapped, "let go of my arm!".
Eduardo whimpered.
"But senorita Frankie", he sniffed, "I saw a mouse!!!"
"Do I look like an exterminator?", muttered Frankie, rolling her eyes, "Are you sure it wasn't squeaker? HE'S very mouse-like".
Eduardo considered this.
"Maybe", he said, then squeaked, hugging her close, cutting off her circulation, "but I still scared!!!"
Frankie gasped for breath, before quickly plucking out her hairpin.
"Look, Ed", she said, "it's my magic hairpin. If you hold it, nothing will ever hurt you".
Eduadro paused, losening his grip slightly, letting Frankie take a much needed breath.
"Really?", he asked, wide-eyed and inocent.
"Yes, really", said Frankie, handing it to him, "now, go away, and don't bother me".
Eduardo looked at the pin in his claws, pondering the situation.
"Go!", screamed Frankie, "NOW!!!"
"Arggghhh!", cried Eduardo, running away, "Frankie se ha vuelto loco!"(1)
"Yeah, you WILL run!", shouted Frankie, then groaned, walking into the laundry room, starting to sing.
Made-up Friends
Made-up Friends
Everywhere I turn
I can see them
She pulled back a pile of sheets, revealing Piggy. Piggy blinked at her, before wisely opting to run away.
"Piggy, you've muddied the sheets!!!", she screamed, then looked at them, "and they were CLEAN!!!"
Made-up Friends
Made-up Friends
Night and day
I eat, sleep and breathe them
She sighed, trying to sort out her hair, now fuzzed up from lack of hair clip.
I'm an ordinary woman
With feelings
I'd like a man to nibble on my ear
She tried to look at her reflection in one of the hundreds of washing machines (suprising, as most of the residents wear little or no clothing), before giving up, letting her hair hang unevenly on one side.
But I'll admit
No man has bit
So how come I'm the mother of the year?
She rather violently began throwing pieces of clothing into a washing machine.
Made-up fur
Made-up fangs
Everything around me is... made-up
She found a plush 'Funny Bunny' teddy in the pile, squeasing it's neck.
"Make ME do chores will ya?", she snaps, "While YOU sit in your lovely little offiice signing papers?!!!"
If I wring
Made-up necks
Surely I will get an acquittal
She tossed the now mangled 'Funny Bunny' away, glancing at her outfit, dirty form the days hard work.
Some women are dripping with diamonds
Some women are dripping with pearls
She jumped aside as the Imaginary puppies, led by Stupid, raced past her, knocking her into a laundry basket.
Lucky me!
Lucky me!
Look at what I'm dripping with
She herded the puppies out of the way, trying to avoid a blast of flame.
Made-up Friends!
She growled, heading back to washing duty. Starting to pull things out of the dryer, folding them.
How I hate
Made-up pants
Made-up socks
And each made-up wristband
She blinked as Scribble popped out of the basket, and floated near her head.
"Okay, that's it!", she snapped.
I'd have cracked
Years ago
If it weren't for my
Sense of humor
She gave a wicked grin, catching Scribble in one of Wilt's wristbands, catapulting Scribble out of the way.
Some day I'll step on their noses
Some night I'll straighten their tails
She folded her hands, looking up at the ceiling pleadingly.
Send a flood
Send the flu
Anything that you
Can do to
Made-up Friends!
She gave a manicaly laugh, throwing clothes all over the place, covering the floor.
Some day I'll land in the nuthouse
With all the nuts and the squirr'ls
"HEY!", protested the squirrel-like Thought.
"GO AWAY!!!", screamed Frankie, "leave Frankie alone, leave Frankie alone!!!!".
There I'll stay
Tucked away
'Till the prohibition of
Made-up Friends!
She fell on the floor, giggling, rocking back and forth where she sat.
"See?", whispered Eduardo from behind the door.
"You're right, Ed", whistled Mac, "Frankie HAS gone mad".
"Now", pondered Bloo, "how can we use this to our advantage?"
"I'm sorry, Bloo, but we can't take advantage of ", said Wilt.
"Coco co cococo", said Coco.
"Coco's right", said Mac, "we should just back away now and never speak of this again"
"Agreed", said the Friends in unison, backing away from the laundry room, leaving Frankie to laugh manically to herself.
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(1) - Frankie has gone mad!
And there we go, another crazy Fosters fic brought to you by the demented mind of Todd Fan! Do review!