Author's note: I usually read fanfiction but I wanted to experiment with a story of my own. It's is my first attempt at writing anything. Not very original, but I wouldn't mind hearing your opinion. Review please.
Disclaimer: I don't own FF. SquareEnix does.
One chance
She stepped out into the silent night and tilted her head up to greet the evening sky with its luminous moon and its pretty sprinkle of glittering stars. It was truly a sight for sore eyes. Thousands of stars glistened merrily against the pitch black background and the moon was large and full, occasionally peaking out from between drifting clouds. A lazy breeze swirled upon her and passed through her hair, her golden tresses lightly teasing her neck and cheeks. Somehow, the tranquility of the night just called out to her and she couldn't help but respond in agreement to the silent invitation.
Truthfully though, Quistis Trepe preferred the raging oceans and crashing waves to the silent tranquility of the night. The night was foolish, remaining strictly uneventful and serene and completely oblivious to the world. The ocean however, tended to match her mood, from infinitely calm to heatedly furious. But since Garden was, at the moment, standing on land, the instructor had to do without the empathetic seas.
She closed her eyes and breathed in the cool sweet scent of the night, curling her fingers onto the railing and leaning back. A smile tugged playfully at the corners of her lips and she told herself to drown, to just forget everything and sink in the peacefulness of the night. It wasn't hard to do since she was at peace wit her conscience.
A gentle rustle behind her broke the moment and she whirled around, frowning slightly, to greet the image of Squall Leonhart, leaning against the doorframe, bathed in the moonlight.
"You've been staring off into space for the last ten minutes," he commented uncrossing his arms and dropping them to his sides.
Quistis lifted her brow and cocked her head slightly turning to him with inquisitive eyes.
"Is that literally or figuratively?" she questioned and he smiled, pushing himself off the wall and approaching her side.
"Both, I suppose," he said, mimicking her movement by placing his hands onto the railing and looking up towards the heavens. She turned around and joined him.
They lapsed into a prolonged moment of silence both staring back out at the night. Quistis looked slightly uncomfortable although Squall seemed to enjoy the stillness of the night. She'd never figured him as one to appreciate such gifts of nature. Apparently, Rinoa had changed a lot in him.
"So," she started awkwardly, trying to make conversation. Her eyes however did not focus on him but remained fixed on the moon. "I believe there's a greater cause to your presence than merely informing me of my short-lived reverie."
He turned around, leaning his back against the railing and smiled.
"Actually," he paused, running a hand through his air. "You're right. I'm here for a reason."
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and then trailed back to the green plains stretched out across the continent.
"Dare I ask?" she inquired.
He turned his head and briefly looked at the profile of her face silhouetted against the black sky only by the silvery beams of moonlight.
"Only if you want to," he said finally turning back to watch the couples gliding across the dance floor in the interior of the ballroom.
Quistis smiled slightly. "I've got nothing better to do at the moment so you might as well entertain me." She turned her head and let his questioning gaze capture hers. "What is it."
He nodded and turned his attention once again to the dance floor. His gaze specifically sought out the stunning woman in baby blue that seemingly floated along the floor, swaying gently to the music. Her streaked raven hair swished about her, framing her face delicately.
Quistis, noticing his sudden interest in the other side of the glass doors, frowned and glanced over her shoulder, following his gaze to the center of the dance floor. She caught on quickly and a simple smile touched her lips before she turned back to the night sky.
"How do I tell her I love her?"
Startled, she nearly gasped dreamy eyes shooting wide open and delicate ruby lips parting. The question knocked the breath out of her for a moment before she quickly latched onto her composure like a drowning man.
"If you've come to me for advice on love," she stated quickly, almost hastily, "then I daresay Squall you're not much of an observer."
He met her gaze once again and favored her with a smile. "It's easy really," he stated dismissively. "I'm in love with a woman and I want her to know that. Just put yourself in her place Quistis, and tell me what's the best way to let her know. Come on, use your imagination."
There was a hint of playfulness in his tone when he said the last sentence and Quistis was tempted to scowl. She however, settled for a simple shrug.
"I'm pretty sure someone else would be more helpful in this matter," came her almost hostile reply. "Preferably with some experience. I don't really think I'm qualified to answer that. I'm not a typical romantic, love-struck city girl."
Squall angled his head and regarded her warily. "Why? Haven't you ever been in love before?"
She sucked in her breath and forced a smile. "Of course."
"Then what type of girl are you when it comes to love?"
"A pitiful one," she exclaimed with a sarcastic chuckle. "Seriously though, I can't help you with that one Squall. I suppose it's best to let actions speak, let things develop naturally but someone like Rinoa may need to hear the words explicitly." She shifted her gaze to the ground and smiled softly. "She wears her emotions on her sleeve and speaks without hesitating. Sometimes, I could swear that I know what she's thinking just by looking in her eyes." Looking back at the moon, she continued. "I don't think anyone so honest and open could possibly wait for time to tell her the truth. She'd loose patience," Quistis finished with a chuckle.
She turned to him then, smiling broadly. "But like I said. That's just my very unprofessional opinion which is probably too naïve to consider." She shrugged, shoulders rising and dropping in a heartbeat. "I don't know. Use your imagination."
There was a moment of silence, even longer than the previous one and Quistis squirmed uneasily wondering if she'd babbled too much without being of any real use. She risked a swift glance in his direction and was taken aback to see the frown that looked like it had permanently etched itself on his handsome face. She looked away mentally wondering why it was there.
"Who said anything about Rinoa?"
This time the silence that elapsed was vicious. Fierce in its intensity and her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his and drowning in a million seas of confusion.
"What exactly are you implying?" she questioned tensely, violet-tinged eyes narrowing as they regarded him. She noticed how apprehensive she sounded and scrambled to cover-it up. She took a deep breath to compose herself and then spoke in a less puzzled tone. "Are you saying there's someone else on your mind?"
He smiled, and leaned back more against the metal railing closing his eyes contentedly.
"Pretty much yes," he responded, "although I have to say that my mind has absolutely nothing to do with it. This particular matter is unique to the heart."
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes there's someone else in my heart," he confirmed softly, glancing over at her.
"You mean," she began uncertainly. "Do you mean you don't love Rinoa?"
"I do love her," he defended although his tone was calm. "Just not the same way as a man loves a woman. What's between me and Rinoa is merely a bond of friendship, platonic. As for romance…" He trailed off letting her absorb his words.
"I see," she said with a light chuckle. "So now some other chic's won you over. I'm surprised Squall. Just a few weeks ago you would shrink away from the slightest form of human contact. And that was verbal contact." He detected bitterness in her tone although it was well disguised.
"So lover boy? Anyone I know?"
He ignored the question. "You don't seem so happy about it."
She smiled. "You're happy and that's what counts," she said softly. She paused for a moment, and then looked at him once again. "You didn't answer my question."
He smiled. "I always believed that first love is true love. I guess that's why I could never forget her." He turned to Quistis briefly and then gazed out the stars. "Yes Quistis you do. In fact you know her quite well." He stopped, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "You know, I could take you to meet her if you want."
She laughed and waved her hand dismissively.
"Not right now," she said and turned around tapping her watch. "It's getting late. I've an early day tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me I think I'll turn in now."
"Hold on," he called her back reaching out to grab her hand. She turned around and arched an eyebrow questioningly.
"Yes?"
"You think…just telling her is a good idea."
Quistis shrugged. "Like I said, it probably depends on her." When he frowned, she smiled encouragingly.
"Give it a shot anyway. You probably won't hurt her feelings if you're direct about it. It's safer than having her wonder day after day if you really do love her,…whoever she is," she frowned realizing that she still had no idea who he was talking about. Squall was almost tempted to roll his eyes.
Quistis shrugged. "Just seize the chance Squall. I think when to tell her is even more important than how. The chance may only present itself once. That much I can safely assure you," she finished with a smile, remembering her solitary, futile attempt.
"You're right," he said softly as he pondered her words eyes narrowed in thought "I guess."
"Well, then.," Quistis sighed, turning. "I should be…"
His fingers brushed her arm, cutting her off. She frowned and turned around once more, surprised when his hand curled around her wrist, holding her in place. She was too preoccupied by watching the troubled look on his face lift then deepen that she failed to notice how tense his grip had become.
"Is something wrong? Squall?"
"Seize the chance," he repeated as his eyes traveled from the ground up to her puzzled eyes. His frown dissolved and he faced her with an expression of utter graveness. "In that case," he said softly releasing her hand to take her by the waist, gently dragging her closer, "I believe I have something important to tell you Quistis Trepe."
He heard the sharp intake of her breath as she caught his arms for support and watched her eyes go wide and her face drain of color as realization dawned upon her.
"I…I don't…understand," she stuttered shakily, fear and hope and uncertainty deftly interlacing into the sinuous tones of her voice to create a stunning melody. Her hands, trembling with emotion stiffened around his leather-clad forearms, tense fingers digging in as if this hold was the only thing supporting her weight. But what he saw in those eyes was not fear or contempt. Only hope and disbelief.
His smile grew as his eyes softened further and he brought her up against him as close as he dared, lacing his fingers comfortably at the small of her back. He gazed into her wide eyes.
"I think you do," he said softly and paused to see her reaction. She tore her eyes from his and stared forcefully at the ground, determined to keep her gaze away from him, dropping her eyes to her feet then staring blankly at the sky over his shoulder.
His own eyes moved with hers, leaning his head to the side, bending forward in a desperate attempt to capture her gaze again. But she simply wouldn't let him. He was too uncertain to try to force her to look at him, afraid to hurt her so he simply stared at the curtain of hair covering her eyes and spoke the words he'd been dreaming to tell her when he first saw her.
"I love you Quistis," he stated quietly but his voice was strong and firm with confidence.
Tears blurred her vision and she tried to raise a hand to wipe them away but realized that they'd only come faster. She bit her lip, cursing herself for her weakness and looked down at the ground.
"I…I…don't…"
But Squall didn't let her finish. He didn't let her speak and he freed a hand and touched his fingers gently to her chin lifting her gaze back to his. His eyes were clouded, his expression serious as he used those same fingers to sweep her tears away.
"You have my heart Quistis," he spoke solemnly. "You've always had it. You've captured it that very moment my eyes first fell upon you. It hurts Quistis because I can't live without my heart. I can't live without you."
Her eyes alternated between both of his, reading the raw emotions in their depths. They were still brimming, tears streaming down to glisten upon her rosy cheeks even as Squall stroked bare hands onto her face. Her lips parted as though she wanted to speak, to say something but all that escaped was the broken whisper of his name.
She breathed in deeply forcing herself to regain her composure and then fixed her eyes once again to the scenery behind him.
"I've fallen in love once before," she said softly, "and he broke my heart."
He knew exactly whom she was referring to. He remembered that night he turned his back on her and forced tears into her eyes for the first time in years. She had held them back then, but not before he recognized the sheen of moisture coating her hypnotizing blues.
"You'll do it again Squall," she said quietly. "You'll break my heart."
"I won't, I…" he paused, feeling ridiculously flustered. He was clueless when it came to dealing with emotions, but now that they meant his happiness, Squall just had to let it out. To know if Quistis would grant him the joy that he never deserved. He took a deep breath to regain his composure and spoke to her again.
"Quistis, I need to know," Squall said softly closing both hands around hers. She stared at him, lost and uncertain. Her eyes were still shiny with traces of tears, reddened slightly at the corners. Her lips were pressed tightly together as if she didn't trust herself to speak and her face was tired and pale. But she squeezed his hands, urging him to go on.
He tried to speak, tried to voice the words that had been haunting him ever since he discovered how much she meant to him, but he was entranced by the intensity of her gaze, completely captivated by the twin pools of deep, deep sapphire that were gazing into his smoky gunmetal eyes. And the weight of her hands against his palms was warm and comforting, touching him with a sense of inner peace that spread throughout his body like a golden wave. He couldn't just speak now. He needed to see her and feel her by his side. Just to touch her and love her in that rigorous, fervent way that he'd never allowed himself to succumb to before.
Her shudder was not lost to him when he lifted their hands to his face and ran his lips tenderly across her knuckles, pressing against her skin almost achingly. He touched the other hand with the same aching passion, watching as hesitation carved delicate lines between her eyebrows and forced the water gathered in the corners of her eyes to cling to her dark eyelashes. She bit at her lip, and closed her eyes tightly, trying to clear her mind.
But all hopes of doing so cracked and then shattered completely when Squall pressed her hands to his heart as if to calm its erratic throbbing with her presence.
Her eyes followed the movement of their intertwined hands and she stared deeply at them as he placed them against his chest, a million raging emotions twirling inside her mind. She raised her eyes back to his, blurry and anguished and parted her lips.
"What do you need to know," she asked in a low, quiet voice. "Why are you here, Squall?"
"Will you give me your heart?"
She looked away and spoke in a calm, distant voice, her eyes icing over, "I don't want to hurt you."
Silence, painful in its intensity elapsed between them. Squall didn't dare break it for fear of rejection. Still he waited for a response, a reaction trying to convince his rapidly diminishing confidence, his escalating fear that there was still hope.
He waited and waited for her, not daring to avert his eyes, to blink and when she moved against him, he caught his breath waiting fearfully for the answer that would determine his fate.
Quietly, carefully, Quistis turned her gaze back to him and he saw the ice shields that she'd erected seconds ago melt at the look in his eyes. She hesitated slightly, then pulled her hands away and turned to press her back to the railing to mimic his stance. Her eyes slid shut and she raised her face against the billowing wind, letting the cool, chilly breeze, glide past her and calm her whirling mind down. She could almost feel the dark turmoil inside her dissipate and as if a curtain had been drawn, a bright, golden light danced just out of reach.
"You already have it," she stated nonchalantly, her face breaking into a lovely smile. She ran a hand across her eyes and turned to look at him. "You've always had my heart and you know it Squall, don't you? It's about time you follow through with your end of the bargain."
It surprised him, immensely, that she could turn a matter that quite easily determined his entire happiness, into a lighthearted situation.
He quirked an eyebrow, amused and amazed and gazed at her while she turned around and stared back up at the sky. Her eyes were shimmering and clear in a way he'd never seen them before and her face was so calm and peaceful that part of him wondered if that was the same Quistis who'd been shedding tears moments ago.
"Quistis," he called, touching her arm.
She sighed deeply stepping forward to press her head into his shoulder nestling her face into the fur of his jacket.
Squall, though confused by her apparent weariness, held onto the moment slowly locking his arms around her. He bowed his head and nuzzled his face into her hair, painfully aware of just how much he'd been waiting to hold her like this.
"What did you mean when you said you'd take me to meet her?"
"What?" Squall pulled back in utter confusion and looked down at her.
"When I asked you who was the new girl you fell in love with, you told me you'll take me to meet…well, me. What did you mean?"
He smiled. "I meant you, not the SeeD. We never really get to see your real self when we're in Garden. You're lovelier than she is," he added softly.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Quistis joked and leaned back into his warm embrace. They shared a moment of silence together, just enjoying the company of one another while the party raged on in the ball room, just a few feet away.
"Squall?" Quistis broke the silence.
"Yes?"
She pulled away and looked up into his eyes.
"Does Rinoa know?"
Squall fell silent, his gaze shifting back to the ballroom, to where Rinoa was immersed in a heated conversation with Selphie, looking decidedly a lot less tidy then she did at the beginning of the evening. Quistis followed his gaze and stared at the raven-haired girl waiting for Squall's answer.
"Rinoa knew what she wanted the moment we met," he spoke quietly. "But when she realized she couldn't have it, she just smiled at me, wished me luck and moved on with her life."
Just then, the subject of their conversation turned around and her eyes fell upon them. Quistis caught her breath expecting the worst. Instead, the sorceress winked at her, waved and then ran to another corner of the ballroom in pursuit of another dancing partner but not before she mumbled something to a shocked, wide-eyed Selphie.
"She told me that if I couldn't stop daydreaming of golden hair and blue eyes then I should at least chase the dream down and force it into reality."
"You don't daydream," Quistis said flatly. Squall looked at her and smiled.
"Not when you're there," he said, "because I'm usually too busy trying not to fantasize about you."
"You don't fantasize either," Quistis responded. "You think, Squall. Only think. That's all I've ever known you to do."
"Instructor?"
"Yes," she responded automatically and then looked at him in shock when she realized that he was mocking her sudden lapse into teacher mode. She tried to scowl at him but found herself smiling.
"I think of you every day," he admitted, touching her face. "I don't want to have to think anymore."
He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, holding her against him in a warm embrace. Quistis leaned into him, lifting her hands to his neck and let herself drown.
"I just want to be with you, Quistis," he said as he broke the contact and rested his forehead against hers.
"If this is the reality you've been chasing Squall, then I want to be in it," she said softly, gazing into his smoky eyes. "Because I want to be with you too." He smiled and they shared another tender kiss that lasted only a second longer than the first.
"Do you know what Rinoa was telling Selphie?" Quistis whispered, her eyes smiling as they focused on something behind him.
"What?"
"To get us on tape," Quistis responded laughingly. "They're filming us. We should take cover or something. Selphie's dangerous with that thing."
"No, we should just give them something worthwhile to shoot. Do you want to go?"
Quistis turned away from Selphie and looked up at him. All the laughter, the delight that had been on her face a moment ago had vanished and was replaced by something quieter and much more beautiful.
"I love you," she said with quiet force as she gazed earnestly into his eyes. She lifted herself on her tiptoes, her arms curving delicately around his neck, and gently brushed her lips against his.
He felt a new world open up to him when their lips touched, stealing the two of them from underneath the eyes of hundreds and to somewhere beautiful and secluded. In that world, Quistis was alone with him, with the first, twinkling stars and the fiery sky and the green fields that extended all the way to the horizon.
She took him with her on a beautiful journey which lasted forever and yet not long enough and he smiled against her lips, a rare, sincere smile because he knew than that no matter how far he went, how long he walked, Quistis would always be with him to share his heart and soul.
The magic didn't fade away from the loving touch they shared but seemed to extend on, to quiet down and then flare back to life as the kiss deepened into something so tender and passionate and real.
This was the reality he'd been searching for. This strange, beautiful world with its flaming sky and its setting sun and its tiny stars twinkling in view. This world, with its grassy fields and its sweetened air and its soothing emptiness.
And with the woman who had made it all possible.