I don't know why I'm posting this, but it was screaming for attention. I guess I just really like the way it came out. Anyway, it was written in response to Neko's request on my livejournal meme, and her requirements were a Cloud/Reno pairing, the color violet, the verb "taping," and the scent of apple-cinnamon. I was to write a 150 to 500 word ficlet with these things. Final word count was 486, so I think I did pretty well. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to FFVII or its characters. 'Nuff said.

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Well Versed

"I dunno, man, it looks kinda mangy."

"And what would you know about it, Red?"

"More than you, I'm sure."

"Yeah, I bet you'd like to think that."

"Well, what makes you so versed in the art of women's lingerie, Chocobo boy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"No, actually, I don't think I would."

Cloud smirked gratuitously at him but said nothing.

The red-head shot him a glare and returned his attention to the violet... lacey... thing... held gingerly between his fingers, as though it carried some terrible and extremely contagious disease. For all he knew it may very well have done. He raised it up to Cloud's eye level and shook it in the man's face. Cloud, to his credit, didn't flinch. Reno sniffed it. "Is there a reason it smells like apple-cinnamon?"

The swordsman shrugged. "The intentions of women elude me," he replied.

"What do you think? Should I get it?"

"I don't know; it looks a little small for you."

Reno hit him. "For Elena, dumbass! I'm supposed to be getting a wedding present for her! That's why I dragged you out here, remember?"

"Of course I remember. You haven't shut up about it the entire day. Though I wasn't aware that skimpy lingerie constitutes an acceptable wedding present."

Reno frowned and shook the mass of chiffon and silk again. The fabric bounced and shimmered agreeably in response. "This is Elena and Rude we're talking about. Acceptable wedding presents include 44mm pistols and the newest model of the buzz baton."

The blond shrugged indifferently. "You're the one who's friends with them. You figure it out."

"I'm sorry; did you plan on staying over this week or not?"

"It's perfect. Buy it and let's go."

Reno smirked and made his escape to the cash register, Cloud trailing obediently behind. The woman behind the counter raised an eyebrow at Reno's purchase. "You sure you don't want to try it on first?" she grinned, "We've got changing rooms in the back."

"No thanks," he replied easily, pulling out his wallet, "It's not for me; it's for him." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Cloud, who choked in response. The cashier's grin broadened. "Oh, well, in that case…" she said as she rang up the item and slid it into a bag. She leaned across the counter as she handed it to Reno and winked at him conspiratorially. "Ten percent discount 'cause you two are so cute," she whispered.

"Thanks, babe," he said, flashing a brilliant smile. Then he swept out the door, grabbing a subtly pouting Cloud on the way. The blond glared daggers at him. "For me. Very funny, Red."

"You know you love it, Chocobo boy," he smirked, planting a sloppy kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "And I bet you didn't even notice-" he pointed to a small black box mounted on the store's ceiling, "-they were taping us the whole time."

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It's so very random. XP Review? Please?