Chapter 11: Waking up to Nothing

Faith opened her eyes and looked at her stomach, the bleeding had stopped, and the blood had dried. She pulled herself to her feet and limped to the porch. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain. She heard footsteps coming towards her and she looked up to see who it was.

Angel stood before her, his eyes were filled with concern. Her sat beside her, put his arms around her, and pulled her close to him. He kissed her forehead and looked her in the eyes.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Angel asked.

"No, fell from the roof and blacked out for God knows how long," Faith groaned in pain.

"Why the hell were you on the roof?" Angel asked.

"My mother was screaming, I didn't want to hear it. Thought I go see you," Faith groaned again in pain.

"Okay, let's get you out of here," Angel said, helping Faith up, she put her arm around his shoulder.

"How'd ya get here?" Faith asked.

"Hurry it up! I don't got all night you know," Doyle shouted from the car.

"Well, that was convenient," Faith said sarcastically.

"What happened to you?" Doyle asked as Faith got in his car.

"Never mind that, just bring us back home," Angel said.

There was a word she didn't know. "Home" the only one she ever had was the equivalent to hell. The car stopped abruptly outside of a well-lit house…well…it was bigger than your average house, but it wasn't a mansion.

Angel helped Faith into the kitchen, he got out some bandages and some disinfectant. He lifted her shirt a little to see the cut. She grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"Don't. I can do it myself," she said softly.

She walked into a nearby empty room, and cleaned the wound and used the bandages on it. She walked back out and saw Angel standing there, his eyes never left her. She walked over to him and tried to kiss him, he turned away.

"I-when I found you tonight, I wasn't there by accident, I came over to talk to you. My parents heard about what happened from Doyle's parents. They-uh-wanted me to go back to Ireland. I'm staying until after graduation, then I'm gone," Angel said.

"June 15th," Faith muttered.

"What was that?" Angel asked.

"June 15th," Faith said again, "you're leaving on June 15th?"

"Yes, I think-um-I think we should break up now, it'll be easier this way," Angel said.

"What? Break up-I-no! But you and-and-and I-" Faith stuttered, Angel kissed her to stop her talking.

"I don't want this to happen, I don't want to go back, but I've no other choice," Angel said.

"What-I mean-can't you do something-anything-to stay?" Faith asked, her voice cracking, her eyes watering.

"I've tried everything I could think of, Faith I-I'm sorry," Angel said unsure of what to say next.

Faith felt a twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach, it was stronger than it was ever before. She felt her eyes water even more. She then felt Angel's lips on her. Before she knew it she was in his room, on his bed. She looked in his eyes the same despair was in his as it was in her eyes.

"I-I don't want to hurt you, if you do hurt in anyway, tell me, I'll stop," Angel said, not about what was about to happen but about the cut. That was mutually understood.

He kissed down her neck, and took her shirt off. He saw the cuts on her arms. At least dozen cuts on each arm. He ran his finger along one scar.

"Angel I can-" Faith was stopped when he kissed her arm.

Faith lay there, motionless, her head on Angel's chest, the sound of his breathing lulling her to sleep. The rise and fall of his chest gave her comfort. It was only 9 o'clock, but it felt as if she had been awake for days.

"Angel? You awake?" Faith said.

"I can't sleep," Angel said.

"I can understand why," she said, kissing his arm. "So much for breaking up, eh?"

"I told you before, I want to stay, but…I don't know, it's all getting really complicated," he replied.

"I love you," Faith blurted out without thinking. Angel looked at her in surprise, "guess you don't feel-"

"I love you, too," Faith put her head under Angel's chin when he said this, a sign of affection from her, "but that's not the point. I don't know how I can convince my parents to let me stay."

Angel closed his eyes; he sighed and held Faith closer to him. She laid her arm on his chest, trying to sleep. Angel's breathing now did the opposite it was keeping her awake.

"What don't you come with me?" Angel suggested.

"To Ireland? I don't know. I mean there's nothing important for me here, but I don't think I can leave," Faith said, trying to make up her mind. "I-I better go," she said reaching for her clothes.