There's A First Time For Everything
Acepilot

AN - No.17 in the "Road" series. This one's been languishing on my hard-drive for a bit now, because I couldn't get up the guts to post it. I wasn't quite happy with the original draft, but I've gone back and re-written some of it. Hopefully it's a bit better now (actually, the changes are scarcely noticeable, but hey. I'm more comfortable with the fic now). Oh, and as ever, there's a gimmick. If you don't find it, then you'll discover what it was at the end of the fic.

Disclaimer - RR/AGU characters property of KlaskyCsupo.

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She's looking up at me from the bed. "So."

"So." The lights of the city are bouncing around the otherwise darkened room, but I don't need them to see her. I can see her in the pitch blackness. I can see the look on her face. It must match mine - confused, uncertain. Nervous, anticipative.

When I'd kissed her on the dance floor, it had seemed so natural. Like breathing. It had been something I'd wanted to do for so long, and though I thought it would be a terrifying, stuttering mess, it had been instead a beautiful moment, one that I would never forget. And never want to. No cause for embarrassment, or concern. I had kissed her and she had kissed me back, and it had all been right.

But now we're here in her bedroom, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I wish I did.

I sit down on the bed next to her. What course of action do I take now? Do we take now? Do we try to make some horrendous small talk about the wedding? About the food at the buffet? The size of the hotel?

Or do I take her in my arms and kiss her, and simply thank god to be back where I've so missed being.

"Nervous?" she asks.

My instinct is to say "No," to save face. But there's no need for that. Not now, not with her. Never again with her.

"I'm terrified," I whisper, and we both collapse into a fit of laughter.

"Me too," she says, after we both calm down. It's only then that I notice how close we seem to have gotten to each other. Her thigh is pressed against mine, her hair is teasing my nose. I inhale, slightly, taking in the rich scent of her shampoo and reveling in it. This is even better than I'd dreamed, than I could possibly imagine. This is Kimmi Finster.

The only person I think I ever wanted to be with.

I lean in and kiss her, just lightly, as if to confirm that this isn't some dream, that I won't wake up screaming in the same nightmare that I've endured these last three months. She returns it, again lightly, tipping her head up to meet me. Her hair, for once down, falls around her shoulders and covers one side of her face. I draw its curtain back, brushing it lightly out of the way, pressing my lips to hers more forcefully. When I finally feel the need for oxygen pressing on me, I pull back, only to gaze at her.

"You're beautiful," I whisper, running my hands through her black hair.

"No, I'm not," she mutters, looking down. "I'm -"

"You're beautiful," I insist, tipping her head back up with a finger under her chin. "You are the most amazing person I ever laid eyes on." And I kiss her again, as if to make sure she got the point.

"You're beautiful," I whisper, tugging her hair loose and letting it fall around her shoulders.

"Thank you." It's a mere breath on my skin, but I can hear it. Only I can hear it...

She breaks away from me this time, just for a moment, then we're fused together again like the desperate lovers we are, and always have been. This last day seems to blur into one confused and jumbled image - Tommy calling me to invite me to the wedding, my speech, laughing at one of Lil's horrendous jokes, the car ride that changed my life, reading the morning paper - it's all out of order, but it doesn't matter. This day may have lasted forever, but it's been more than worth it.

My jacket's on the floor, and my shirt soon joins it, and I don't think I'd realized it happening. She makes me lose any focus I have on the rest of the world. Whenever she's around, it's just her that I can see, or feel, or hear.

Or touch...

She runs her hand along my chest and I groan involuntarily, pushing her back onto the bed, kissing her again if only to stop her from driving me crazy with her hands. The straps of her top are pushed aside - did I do that? Did I tug at her skirt? But then it all doesn't matter in the end, does it?

"Why me?" she whispers against my lips.

"What?" I ask, looking at her in alarm.

"Why me? Of all the girls?"

"Because...I love you," I whisper.

We move together for the first time in months and I feel horrified to know that I threw her away like I did. That I could possibly ignore her, or make her feel unloved. Or that I focused so much on this part of our relationship, that I sacrificed what I knew was more important.

It's like a first time all over again, really. Rediscovering her. Having her in my arms. It's only been three months but it feels like a lifetime - and I can't believe I lasted this long. This is my second chance, and I can't waste it.

And as I lay with her, breathing deeply and frighteningly in synch, her head tucked into the crook of my neck, I realize that this isn't what I was frightened about, but rather what comes next. Where do we go from here?

I don't know yet. I'd rather just lay here and savor the feeling of having her in my arms.

But I know that I've got some serious planning to do, a lot of stuff to think about. I'm engaged. I'm in love, and I've got a life to go on with. It's a whole new experience, for both of us. But it was one that was going to come sooner or later. And it's one that I'm going to face head on, with her by my side. It'll be terrifying, but new things always are.

"Do you want to go back to your room?" she asks.

"No," I shake my head adamantly. "So what if Chuckie finds us?"

She giggles quietly, and I kiss her on the forehead, pulling her closer. "I love you," she says, for what must be the tenth time tonight. But I'll never get tired of hearing it.

"I love you too."

Or saying it.

"You really don't care if Chuckie finds us? He might beat you to a pulp."

I grin broadly. "There is no way that anything could drag me from your arms right now."

"Good. Don't go," she whispers, snuggling in closer. "Just...don't go."

I definitely don't plan to.

"Good night," I wish her, though she may already be asleep. Her breathing is steadied out, and rhythmically hypnotic. And as I slowly drift off, all I can think is that things are going right. No matter what comes next, I'll face it, no matter how scary it is.

There's a first time for everything, after all.

---

I might disappear for a few days (I might not). I'm moving, and my family's just had a major breakdown. :( I've been happier in my life, I'll tell you. Oh, and I dropped and broke my Game Boy. When it rains it pours. Anyway, if I do disappear, rest assured I'll be back. Sooner or later. Hopefully with new fanfics to share. Acepilot

the gimmick thingy was that the passages in italics are their first night together and the passages in plain text are from the night they're reunited - the same night as "Road Trip" and "Asked To Say...". so - what did you think?

And one last thing - for those who asked me to list the Road series in chronological order - it would go something like this...

The One That I've Been Waiting For
The Rain
Cannibal's Hymn
Visitng Hours
Under This Moon
Road Trip
I've Been Asked To Say A Few Words
There's A First Time For Everything
Brilliant Ideas
Domesticity
On Average
Some Romantic Evening
Waiting Rooms
The Monkeys Is Coming
The Glory of Fatherhood
Nights of Indigestion
Clockwork

Hope that helped. :) Be sure to review!