If the Christmas episode of family guy (or any episode of family guy) has offended you please turn away now or grow a sense of humor.
Christmas, a time of niceness and giving; of family and friends and giving instead of receiving.
It's also a time of the year that Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living, thus we have to sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
This is the time of year that parents disown their children as they often come out of the closet around this time of year.
Tecna and her parents were still on "iffy" waters after last year, this year it was Bloom's turn.
It is the time of year to get together with family, or friends.
Since Musa (who has been revived as her normal self after Sonata of stuff) has no family she is coming along with Darcy to her family reunion/Christmas get together/whatever it is as a guest.
Since the author is too lazy to think up anything else for the other characters they will be together doing stupid stuff like Christmas shopping.
Prey for us all.
"Okay, why are we here?" Lucy snipped as she passed all the holiday cheeriness. "I don't even like you, why am I helping you shop?"
"I was about to ask you that," Stella said but shrugged. "Oh well, since you're already here you can help me find a nice gift for by boyfriend, Brandon."
"Get bent pixie," Lucy said as she was about to walk away. But Stella grabbed her by the shoulders, "hey! What the?" The next thing she knew she was being used as a people plow to cut through the crowd to the nice things. So far she's,Lucy, has been stunned, pepper sprayed, elbowed, bitten and stuck in somebody's fat.
"Thanks for your help," Stella said as she dropped the witch onto a random bench while walking away. At that moment Flora was walking by and stopped for a moment, she dugged around for some change.
"Oh my," she said. "You need booze." Throwing some change at the comatose witch Flora continued on towards her destination. Passing Diaspro who was taking boxing lessons using a speed ball with Prince Sky's face on it. Since Flora is going no where fun let's focused our favorite spoiled princess. No, not Stella, Diaspro!
At the moment she was fuming because she had lost her love, Sky-
"Sky isn't my love, he was just a place holder." Diaspro said.
Hey, you're not suppose to hear the narrator!
"And the narrator should keep their facts straight." Diaspro finished boxing, except for one last blow that sent the speed ball all the way across the gym. "I found out really that I,"
The killer Yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi sign came crashing though the gym's roof killing people at random. And not just by crushing them but stabbing them too.
"Diaspro, how can you say that?" Sky said as he appeared out of now where, completely unaware he is about to made into a "Kenny" joke. "All of the times we spend together, the borogroves, the tumtum trees, the pool inside of red fountain."
You never took me to the red fountain pool."
Oops, that was Timmy. "Uh, right!" Sky said when he noticed something, turning around he saw the killer Yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi sign. It had been stabbing him in the back for the past minute but Sky was so slow it didn't register that he was dead until now.
"Well, I'm down for a few chapters." Sky said before dying.
"Okay," Bloom said as she straiten out her bed. "We'll tell them tonight at dinner."
"May I suggest a different time," Tecna said while setting up her own bed on a futon. "It would be better to tell them when they are ether tired or very drunk."
"More logical?" Bloom asked.
"Nope, experience. Mom threw a stake knife the size of a yugo around the kitchen and broke a few plates."
"That's gotta suck."
"Yeah, but the next day I got a upgrade system for Christmas so things worked out fine."
Next chapter: Santa is saved by Styx while the shinto gods and Optmas Prime stops a rampaging linkin log and Megatron.
Thrilling stuff people; you want to see it!