A/N::. Hm. Not much I can say about this... I was half asleep at the time I wrote it. :P No idea where it's set in the general timeline... don't really care, either. This is just a bunch of babbling, anyway.
Summary::. In the midst of a normal day of training, Sasuke engages Naruto in some interesting new "oral taijutsu."
Pairings::. SasuNaru
Warnings::. Swearing, mild shounen-ai.
Disclaimer::. If I were Kishimoto Masashi, I would own Naruto. But it is not so.
Incidental
by AlterEthereal
That first kiss was entirely not my fault. Nope. Not at all.
I'm having some doubts about the second one.
Alright, so I was walking along, minding my own business, right? When all of a sudden, Sasuke-bastard gets in my face and challenges me to a fight.
Okay, maybe I was accidentally pushing his buttons a little that morning.
Okay, so maybe I was irritating the hell out of him purposely, just to see him get mad. And to make Sakura-chan think less of him, too, of course. That's always a good reason.
Anyway, so the bastard challenged me to a fight. I, confident as always in my superior ninja abilities and future Hokage title, readily accepted. Afterall, I knew already that I was gonna win. Or at least, that's what I thought.
So Sasuke and I started sparring. Right there, in the middle of the training session. Kakashi-sensei didn't seem to mind... He just buried his nose in that perverted book he carries around with him all the time. Sakura-chan was rooting for Mr. High-and-Mighty the whole time, even though it was plain and clear that I beating the pants off of-
OW! What was that for Sakura-chaaan?!
Fine, fine... Geez, you didn't have to hit that hard y'know...
HEY! What do you mean, "thick skull"?!
Anyway, as I was saying, Sasuke-bastard and I were pretty even (there, are you happy now, Sakura-chan?). More or less.
Now, I think we all know that my taijutsu skills aren't exactly top-notch, which is why Sasuke had just a slight advantage over me. Slight. If I had used my Kage Bunshin on him during that time I would've easily kicked his ass.
So yeah, I started to falter a little. And it did not help when that jerk activated his Sharingan. And I figured, well, if he can use the Sharingan, I can use a Bunshin or two, right?
So he rushes at me head on with his "All-Powerful Sharingan Spinning-Wheel of Death." Pretty predictable, yeah? So why he looked surprised when my clone disappeared upon contact with his kick is way beyond me.
And I, of course, couldn't just let him get away with making such a stupid mistake, thinking he had the match in the bag and all. I had to say something.
"Ha ha," I laughed in oh-so-innocent fun, "Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!"
I remembered who I was messing with just a second too late. Or maybe two seconds, because by the time I think I'd fully comprehended what deep shit I'd gotten myself in, he had already charged at me again and pinned me to a tree.
Stupid tree. As soon as Kakashi teaches me the Chidori, that thing is gonna be my first practice partner.
Of course, that thought came later, after the initial "Oh Kami, Sasuke's gonna kill me!"
I mean, who wouldn't think they were gonna die when they saw a cold-blooded, Sharingan-eyed, horrible-tempered Uchiha Sasuke staring at them with a growl in his throat and absolute bloodlust in said Sharingan eyes.
At least (and I can't imagine saying this under any other circumstances), I hope it was bloodlust. Because, if it was any other kind of lust...
...Well, we won't get into that.
In any case, he made it kind of hard to distinguish between the two when he suddenly decided to try out a new form of oral taijutsu... or something.
"Fine," he growled.
Damn, I thought, Sasuke is scary even when he's agreeing with me.
It took exactly .3 seconds for that thought to sink in before one of much larger magnitude hit me.
Wait... agreeing?! To what?! What did I just say?!
See, I was so terrified at that point that I had even forgotten what it was he was agreeing to. Pfft, go figure.
Too bad he reminded me by crushing his stupid lips against mine.
I swear, that kiss probably left more bruises than the rest of the fighting put together.
First thought: WHAT THE HELL...?!
Second thought: Sasuke's kissing me... again!
Third thought: Wha...? I didn't know it was humanly possible to do that with your tongue...
Fourth thought: Nonexistent, because at the time my brain was still trying to process the last two.
By that time, Kakashi had looked up from his book and was trying not to laugh so hard that he fell out of the tree he sat in. Yeah, I could still hear, even if my eyes had closed sometime after Sasuke had me pinned against that tree.
Sakura-chan had let out a faint squeal of "Sasuuuuke-kuuun!" before passing out completely and-
Sakura-chan...?
...Oh look, she did it again just now. Sheesh, and all I was doing was retelling what happened.
Anyway, so she'd passed out and still the bastard that was trying to kill me with his lips showed no signs of caring. Or stopping, for that matter.
The thing I remember most about it, though, isn't "how he tasted" or "how warm his lips were" -- they were freezing, for your information -- or any dumb-fool shit those silly girls talk about. No, I just remember thinking how much like his fighting his kissing was.
Yep, he kisses just like he fights. Agressive, possessive, and damn near desperate. It was nearly intoxicating, and for a brief moment or two, I really understood why those girls chase him around.
But only for a moment. Because after that thought occurred to me, I was convinced that Sasuke was transferring some kind of Uchiha Insanity Virus into me via our mouths. So I did what any sane, adolescent, and perfectly straight Hokage-in-training would do:
Choked, pushed him off, and punched as hard as I could, barely registering whether or not my fist made contact.
I'm guessing it did, because he kinda grunted and when my eyes opened, I saw him wiping some blood off his lip with the back of his hand, though still standing and looking otherwise like his normal, bitchy self, save the god-awful smirk on his face.
"W-what the Hell was that for, bastard?!" I yelled. As soon as I had caught my breath, that is. I was a little shocked at my need to do this, but it seemed we'd been making out for quite some time, as even Kakashi had fallen off his tree limb and fainted from laughing by then. Pfft, it didn't feel nearly that long to me.
"Wouldn't that question be better directed at you, idiot?" he retorted, that ugly smirk still there. "After all, you told me to kiss you."
"I didn't mean for you to actually kiss me!"
"Well oops."
Stupid jerk... he knew very well what I had meant!
Pfft, don't you roll your eyes at me like that, Sasuke-bastard! Unless you want a repeat of that fight!
Shit! I mean-
Jerk! Stop laughing at me!
Wait...
Laughing...? Oh Kami, the apocalypse is here! Uchiha Sasuke is laughing! Hide your children!
Heh, but y'know...
...somehow his lips don't seem quite that bad when he's laughing...