Shrek, Inuyasha Style
By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek, and read the story to find out the rest.
Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit

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Kagome slid down the small bowl rim slope and cried dramatically, "You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing! Wonderful! You're..." she paused as Inuyasha and Shippo fell after her in an undignified heap, "not what I expected, I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine blood is pure. I am eternally in your debt." Shippo cleared his throat suggestively.

"And where would a brave knight be without his noble page?" Kagome asked as she bent down and hugged Shippo.

"I hope you heard that. She called me a noble page. She thinks I'm a page."

Kagome giggled. "The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight."

"Uh, no." Inuyasha said evasively.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to!"

"Please? Iwish look upon the face of my rescuer..." Kagome pleaded looking cute.

"No, you wouldn't...'st." Inuyasha argued as he slowly backed up.

"But how will you kiss me?"

"What?" Hejerked slightly in surprise then turned aroundto look at what he'd backed into. "That wasn't in the job description."

"Maybe it's a perk." Shippo suggested.

"No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon," Kagome was moving around and moving her arms emphatically, "is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss."

"What? With Inuyasha? You think... Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! You think that Inuyasha is your true love?"

"Well... yes." The two guys stood there for second,looking at eachother with blank stares, before breaking out into hearty laughter.

"You think Inuyasha is your true love!" Shippo gasped between laughs before he fell on his back with laughter.

"What is so funny?" Kagome demanded.

"Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?"

"Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now-- Now remove your helmet."

"Look. I really don't think this is a good idea."

"Just take off the helmet."

"I'm not going to."

"Take it off." Kagome sounded like a scolding mother.

"No!" And Inuyasha sounded like a rebellious child.

"Now!"

"Okay!" Inuyasha said as he gave in. "Calm down. As you command... Your Highness." When Inuyasha took off his helmet and shook out his long silver hair, Kagome pulled back slightly in surprise, looking at Inuyasha with a hint of disappointment. Inuyasha, not knowing what else to do, pulled a charming grin.

"You-- You're a-- a half-demon," Kagome stuttered. Inuyasha's grin disintegrated.

"Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming."

"Well, yes actually." Kagome paused for a moment. "Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be a demon," Kagome said mournfully as she walked away to go sit down. Inuyasha sighed and followed her, trying to explain things.

"Priestess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Kouga, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you." Inuyasha explained. "And he's a demon too." He added under his breath.

"Then why didn't he come rescue me?"

"Good question. You should ask him that when we get there." Inuyasha said as he threw the helmet away and turned around, mocking what she said next.

"But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some half-demon and his-- his pet."

"Well so much for noble page."

"Look Princess, you're not making my job any easier."

"Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Kouga that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here," and with that Kagome sat down on the rock behind her, crossing her legs and arms and looking away.

"Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy." Inuyasha snarled, now face to face with Kagome.

"You wouldn't dare." Kagome snarled back. Well Inuyasha dared by picking Kagome up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Ahh! Put me down!"

"You coming, fox?" Inuyasha asked Shippo over a screaming Kagome.

"Uh, yup. I'm right behind you."

"Put me down or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! Ahh!"

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Later at around sunset Inuyasha was still carrying a very bored Kagome on his back while Shippo trailed behind the pair asking Kagome questions.

"Okay. So here's another question. Say there's a woman that likes you, right, but you don't really like her inthat way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?"

"You just tell her that she's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when you find your- ah!" Kagome was interrupted her as Inuyasha jostled her around a bit with a smug grin.

"Hey!" she cried as sheglared at him, sighing when he just ignored her again.

"The sooner we get to DuLoc the better." Kagome complained.

"You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!"

"And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Kouga? What's he like?" she asked hopefully.

"Well let me put it this way, Priestess," Inuyasha spoke up, throwing Kagome unceremoniously on the bank near a small lake.

"They don't make wolves like Kouga anymore." Inuyasha bent down and washed his face.

"Yeah, or else we'd be rid of them." The guys chuckled while Kagome seethed.

"Stop it. Stop it both of you. You know you're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Kouga," she chastised as she poked Inuyasha in the chest.

"Yeah well, maybe you're right Princess. I think my people would overthrow me faster than you could say, 'Let's get going!' This time tomorrow I'll be relaxing."

"Tomorrow?" Kagome asked worridly, looking at the setting sun. "It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?"

"No," Inuyasha said, turning around. "That'll take longer. We can keep going." He turned back around and started walking.

"But there's demons in the woods." She protested, rather lamely.

"Whoa! Time out, Inuyasha!" Shippo panicked and jumped around. "Camping's starting to sound good."

"Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest." Inuyasha protested.

Kagome ran in front of Inuyasha. "I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!" Her voice echoed through the woods and both demon and half demon had their ears flat against their head as they stared at the new found ferocity of the gentle spirited woman.

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Inuyasha pushed a huge boulder away from the mouth of a cave. He looked inside and called out, with a wave of his arm, "Hey! Over here."

"Inuyasha, we can do better than that," Shippo hissed. "No I don't think this is fit for a princess."

Kagome took a quick glance at the setting sun and replied quickly, "No, no. It's perfect. It just needs a few... homey touches."

"Homey touches? Like what?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. There was an odd ripping noise and Kagome was walking towards them with a huge piece of bark.

"A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night."

"You want me to read you a bedtime story?" Shippo asked. "I will."

"I said good night!" Kagome snapped. They both jumped slightly at her tone, and Inuyasha started to move the boulder back.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" Inuyasha faced Shippo chuckling.

"I just-- You know-- Oh come, on. I was just kidding." He walked away.

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"And, uh, that one! That's Throwback... the only demon to jump over three wheat fields." Inuyasha pointed out in the sky. It was well into the evening and Inuyasha was preoccupied with showing the little fox constellations.

"Right, yeah," Shippo stated disbelievingly. "Hey! Can you tell my future from these stars?"

"The stars don't tell the future, kit. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent." Inuyasha chucked. "You can guess what he's famous for."

"Now I know you're making this up," Shippo accused.

"No, look. There he is." Inuyasha drew out the picture in the sky, "and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench."

"That isn't nothing but a bunch of little dots."

"You know, kit, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?" Inuyasha peered at Shippo intently, waiting for a reply. "Forget it," he said when Shippo remained quiet.

Shippo sighed. "Hey, Inuyasha, what are we going to do when we get our swamp anyway?"

"Our swamp?"

"You know, when we're through rescuing the princess."

"We? Fox, there's no 'we.' There's no 'our.' There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do is create an unbreakable barrier around my land." Inuyasha rolled over, his back to Shippo.

"That hurts Inuyasha, that really hurts. You know what I think?" Shippo asked, walking over to face Inuyasha. "I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out."

"No, do ya think?" Inuyasha asked sarcastically, rolling over again.

"Are you hiding something?" Shippo inquired as he moved to face Inuyasha again.

"Never mind, kit."

"Oh, this is another on of those onion things, isn't it?"

"No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things."

"Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"Why do you want to talk about it?" Inuyasha cried as he rolled over yet again.

Shippo raced to meet his face again. "Why are you blocking?"

"I'm not blocking."

"Oh, yes, you are."

"Fox, I'm warning you."

"Who are you trying to keep out?" Shippo pressed.

"Everyone! Okay?" Inuyasha screamed. Shippo looked a little taken back but then exclaimed, "Oh, now we're getting somewhere."

"Oh! For the love of Kami!" Inuyasha waved his arms around and sat down at the cliff ledge.

"What's your problem Inuyasha? What do you have against the whole world anyway? Huh?"

"Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, 'Ahh! Help! Run! A big, stupidhalf-breed!'" Inuyasha sighed sadly. "They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone."

Shippo felt Inuyasha's sadness and slowly walked over to sit next to him. "You know what? When we met, I didn't think you were just a big, stupid half-demon."

Inuyasha paused momentarily. "Yeah, I know."

"So, uh, are there any kitsunes up there?" Shippo asked, referring to the constellations."

"Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying."

"Okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?"

"That's the moon."

"Oh... okay.

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Inside Kouga's personal chambers it was getting messy, what with all the wedding preparations and matching articles for Kagome and himself. There was a small but beautiful melody playing enchanting the night.

"Again. Show me again." Kouga demanded. The music stopped and rewound. "Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess."

"Hmph," Miroku said annoyed before complying, rewinding a bit more.

Kouga looked at the picture of Kagome in her tower and took a drink of his sake. "Ah. Perfect."

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A/N: Okay, so I've figured out I like to procrastinate and I have a bad memory. Add exam week to that and you have a frantic Fuji. Tomorrow I have my band test and then I go to the library with Kushielle to study forthe math test. Thefinal from last year was 17 pages and took students around 4 hours to complete. Fortunately for us it's been cut down but we still have a lot to study.
Credit to Kushielle for betaing this chapter.

Review Responses:
Dark-Black-Wolf: Applaudes my greatness? Well that's a first. I don't believe I'm that great (because it's insane how much my beta fixes it up) but thank you none-the-less,
omae: Yeah, I see your point. But I think I can work it in the next story(hinthint).
demonslayer06: The point was when Shippo used his magic to change into a donkey to dissuade the dragon, but I see what you mean. Thanks for the advice, I shall keep it in mind for later.
CatHanyouNelia: Oo;;; I don't like you... Kouga is awesome, at least when he's in character. I hate when people don't portray his character right, therefore not showing the real Kouga and giving people stuff to poke fun at.
RockyShoreline: My beta and I debated about that. I wanted green but once she showed me the electric blue she was talking about I couldn't resist.
abnormally cool: Yes, I like her purification powers. As for the martial arts... Shifty eyes You'll have to read to find out.
sesshy-can-die: Thank you very much for your review, and I intend on continuing the story. The problem is when I commit myself to actually writing it and then getting Kushielle to beta it for me. Should be easier now that she's got unlimited internet.