Clavicula Nox

epilogue: kanashii

:"Aya...Ran..." Ken shuddered once, hands clutching at his teammate's leather jacket. The blood slicked hands slipped before finally catching in one of the many criss-crossing straps. "Let me go...":

Aya choked back a cry as he threw himself from the dream...or memory...though it was all fading away now. The past memories were nothing more than odd shadows that haunted with less frequency. Omi supposed it was because they had fulfilled their purpose. With Yuki and the Key in Hell, there was no chance of retrieval...or the Door ever opening again.

The Heaven they had been long denied would be theirs after death, no questions asked. Youji joked that he was sorry that he spent so much time feeling guilty for sins he had more than paid for over a few hundred years of suffering. And then proceeded to escape from the flower shop, assured that nothing else in this life could stop him from final peace.

Nagi had gone back to Schwarz, with the promise that he would return if he couldn't convince his team to leave Rosenkreuz for good. They had managed to save all three remaining members, sparing a little of their own rapidly dispersing power to keep the German breathing, and Crawford semi conscious. Farfarello hadn't made a sound or move, sitting quietly in the Kritiker hospital until his American leader had come to claim him. The mysterious team was gone without even a nod of thanks, but Aya knew that the experience had changed them profoundly.

Aya started sharply as Omi gave a warning rap on his half open door. Before...when they had been ordinary, his door was shut and locked to keep the others at bay. Now, it was always cracked, so someone could save him from the soul tearing dreams of Ken. Though Aya was grateful that those memories were still clear, and showed no sign of being affected by the recession of their powers.

"Aya-kun?" Omi called as he stepped across the threshold. He smiled slightly at seeing Aya awake, a sympathetic smile. He knew why his teammate was still wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. "Ano..." He didn't want to disturb Aya's mourning, but his own dreams had brought him at this early hour. He was sure they were the remains of memories, but he also knew they weren't his memories.

"Who is mother?"

Aya looked up in surprise, brows furrowed with concentration as he tried to recall why that word set off an echo of pity in his heart. "Mother? Yuki begged for her mother before..." He couldn't finish. His throat constricted and he bit back more tears.

Omi sighed. "I don't mean to make you sad, Aya-kun. I just wondered why."

Aya shook his head. He hadn't shared the last moments with anyone, to keep the face of his lover selfishly close. "I've thought of that myself. Why Mother? Why white?" He stood and paced to the window, pale curtains touched with the beginnings of dawn. "I think her mother was darkness. She drew her power from the absence of the light in people, in the world. The Key knew this and the only way to finally beat her power was to eliminate the darkness. The white world...was pure. No shadows, no evil for her draw on. Only herself and her own sins."

Aya sensed more than saw Omi leave after he finished speaking. He was lost in the white dawn just touching the city and he felt something lighten within him. He felt a reassurance that Ken was untouched within the darkness he sacrificed himself to, surrounded and protected by the light.

He couldn't have explained where the feeling came from anymore than he could explain to his other teammates why he still held the silver thread of their web long after it should have simple drifted away. Omi and Youji's threads were thin and nearly gone, but one still pulsed with silver power. Aya had been holding it with all his strength, unwilling to do what he knew was right.

With a sigh, he opened his hand, though no gesture was truly needed. Ken's thread sparkled briefly and the last tenuous knots unraveled. Now he was truly ordinary again, left with nothing but the memories of his life as Weiß. And the one night of passion spent with the other half of his soul.

:No, never ordinary, Aya. No one who is loved is ordinary...:

Aya smiled as the voice faded, never to haunt him again. He had let go and Ken's peace had become his own.

- - - - -

:fin:

:for everyone...minna...thank you so much: