Here I am, with another beyblade fic. This focuses on Kai and Tala, at different points during seasons 1 and 3. Each chapter will alternate between the two: so this chapter is from Kai's point of view, and the next is from Tala's and so on until we reach the end.

Please note that all my fics are non-yaoi so the material in this fic should not be interpreted as anything more or other than friendship. That is all I intend it to be and I am the author. I hope no-one will take this the wrong way and get offended: I just don't write yaoi: I hope you will read the story anyway, regardless.

Disclaimer: 'Beyblade' and 'G-Revolution' and all associated characters and names are property of © Aoki Takao · BB3Project, TV Tokyo, licensed by d-rights Inc. I do not own Beyblade in any way and in writing this fiction I am not making a single cent/penny/any other form of currency. So don't sue. Please.

Reflections

By AngeLhearteD

Chapter I: Heartbeat

I failed. I lost. I almost died. Part of me wishes I had. Nothing matters anymore. I'm no longer the strongest. I'm no longer the best.

I'm sorry, Tala. For everything. You welcomed me back into your team so readily. Despite everything I had done to you. Despite the past. You were smiling on that day. That day you offered your hand in a gesture of goodwill and forgiveness. You were a fool. I am the fool. A fool to abuse the trust you gave so willingly. You thought I was rejoining your team because I wanted to win the tournament with you.

For Russia.

You didn't know I had my own selfish reasons for returning. Or maybe you knew all along. Sometimes I'd catch you looking at me with an expression on your face you only use when you secretly know something and are unwilling to talk about it. You always tended to give me those long, hard looks. Like you wanted to figure me out; what my mood was, which Kai you were talking to, what I would do next. Like you wanted to burn a hole through my mind with those eyes and extract the truth from me.

I think you knew all along. Bryan and Spencer were suspicious of first but it wasn't long before I had them fooled. They thought I was really back. Not just in body, but in mind. Spencer always looked like he was proud to have me on the team. Bryan even smiled at me once, when I made a comment about the competition. I never fooled you though, did I. You're smart Tala. So smart. And yet you're on a life support unit now because you did something so stupid. So rash and sudden.

I had it all figured out. Now things are so complicated. I used you and Spencer and Bryan to get to Tyson. It's the reason I rejoined. I wanted to win the championships, yes. But not for you or for Russia; I wanted to win for myself. I wanted to beat Tyson at his own game. You were my only means of doing so. If I could have done it alone, I would have. At least that way, no-one would have gotten hurt. I would have happily faced off against you and your team, and ended your hopes of winning the tournament if I could have been a one-man team. But I couldn't. The new rules changed everything. To face off against Tyson, I needed a team. When I saw you on TV, a few days before I rejoined, I knew I had found my solution. I knew you'd take me back.

I wish you hadn't.

None of this would have happened if you'd downright rejected me. But you thought you'd win with the great Kai by your side, yet I knew I wouldn't with you. You lost because of me. I lost because of you. We weren't balanced. So many years apart have erased so many memories. I was just using you. You were just the team captain I had to cooperate with until I reached my real objective. Nothing more. Not even a guy my age. Just a team-mate. Not a friend. Never a friend…

I was using you even after Garland struck you down. Garland did this to you. His team did this. A team I was planning on joining, up until three days ago when Brooklyn beat me, that is. I've been taught a lesson. A very harsh one, but that's the only way I can learn. Many years at the Abbey made me realise that. I wanted to join BEGA so I could face off against Tyson again. But my plan has backfired. I now have no team. Bryan and Spencer are constantly by your side and I know that if they knew I was here, they'd probably try and kill me. I'd probably let them. I'm not in much of a state to fight. They hate me. If they ever disliked me before, they must surely despise me now.

Hn…Kai Hiwatari. The famous beyblader. The kid who ran away from the Abbey. The spoilt rich brat who left you behind. The one that got away. The guy who ditched the Demolition Boys when they were on the brink of victory, in the semi-finals, and cost them the Russian title.

The traitor who rejoined and made the Blitzkrieg Boys lose, and then abandoned the team to join the one that put the captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys into hospital.

So many betrayals…and each time, the same people had had to put up with it. The responsibility of picking the team members back up after every let down I caused always fell on the shoulders of the same person.

You, Tala.

But not this time. This time it has gone too far…you can't inspire your team-mates to recover and battle on. Because you're unconscious. You have been for days now. This is the first time I'm visiting you. I wasn't planning to. I told myself you'd be fine. But I couldn't stand what I was thinking and feeling and here I am, standing over your bed, watching. I'm wearing a cloak. I'm hurting. I don't want people to see my injuries. Brooklyn was so powerful, too powerful: completely ruthless. He made it look so easy while I gave everything I had. I needed to beat him to take his place in order to battle Tyson. But I couldn't even do that.

I'm also wearing the cloak because I don't want people to recognise me. Even Tyson has been here to see you. Max and Ray dropped by only yesterday. Even Hilary, and Daichi, who you told me annoys you very much. People who don't know you have come to see you. Mr. Dickenson is here frequently too. It's funny. All these people who used to frown when they heard your name and called you evil and disliked you…they all really care about you. You have friends Tala. People who want you to wake up. They say that you're brave. You are. You're a hero now you know.

I wonder what I am.

I've slipped in after visiting hours. I don't care if I'm caught now. Nothing matters. I'm aching all over. Physically…mentally…emotionally; it's all turned out so wrong. It always does, when it's me involved.

I never deserved your trust. I got what was coming to me. I deserve every wound I received from battling Brooklyn. It's so late now. I need to rest, but I can't. Your heart-beat on the monitor resounds in my head. You're stitched up and motionless. When will you wake up? What if you don't?

What would I do then? I wonder how I'd feel about that.

Why did you try to take down Boris by walking right into his trap? You, Bryan and Spencer were giving him exactly what he wanted. He wanted to see you fall, once and for all. He got his revenge without even touching you. Garland got it for him. Wasn't it obvious, Tala? Aside from Tyson and I, Boris blamed his defeat and humiliation two years ago on you. You were team captain of the Demolition Boys and you lost and cost him, and my grandfather, everything.

Garland didn't hurt Spencer and Bryan nearly as much as he hurt you. But then he didn't need to; they weren't as strong as you anyway. You got angry at seeing them hurt. You did the right thing and wanted to get revenge. But he rammed punch after punch at you. I was there. I was watching. I should have done something to stop it, to stop you getting hurt. I could have, just by yelling. If I had just gone down those stairs and launched my blade to back yours up, we would have destroyed Garland's blade.

But I didn't. I just stood and watched as you fought a losing battle. Tyson, Max, Ray, Daichi, Kenny and Hilary, people who don't know you half as well as I do, people you would never call your friends, were standing behind you, supporting you, cheering you on. I should have been there. I saw how you battled. You'd grown much stronger; you threw everything you had at him. Your Novae Rog attack was spectacular. I remember holding my breath when you unleashed it. Maybe I was unconsciously hoping you'd win the battle. I'd never seen you so angry. You'd get angry with me sometimes, but nothing like the way you were glaring icicles at Garland. Like you hated him and really wanted him to die. If looks could freeze, he'd still be a snowman right now.

Of course, me being the traitor I am, I would have melted him out of there and he would have come after you and where would be now? In exactly the same situation. You in hospital. Me teamless. Boris gloating. Hn. That…goofball. How could I be so desperate to want to battle Tyson again that I would actually want to join a team run by him again? What was I thinking?! What if I had gone on to battle Tyson and defeated him. Boris would have ruled the world…we both know he's capable. He's got the mind. He's got the money. Then what would have happened? What would have happened to Max and Ray and Tyson and the others…my…my friends? What would I have become? It would be like…Black Dranzer all over again…but with no way out.

It's too late for guilt. It's too late for everything. My career as a blader is over. My body is broken and bruised and it'll take weeks to fully recover. It should be me on that life-support machine. Not you, Tala. You did something brave and stupid, for the right reasons. You wanted to stop Boris from brainwashing more kids, you wanted to put an end to his crazy plans, you wanted to bring him down. You wanted to make him regret underestimating you, Bryan and Spencer: the Blitzkrieg Boys.

I did something stupid for all the wrong reasons…treacherous, deceitful, selfish reasons. When Garland finished with you and you fell to the floor in exhaustion, I know you saw me, as Tyson bent over you, shaking you in desperation. I know you saw me as I went down the stairs. I'll never forget the look in your eyes before they closed. You were confused. It was like you knew I wasn't there to back you up. Like you knew your so called team-mate was about to betray you…again. You looked afraid…afraid because you were in pain and you knew your injuries were serious…and you were angry; angry at Garland…angry that you had failed…angry at Boris…maybe even angry at me. If you had had an ounce of strength left in you, you would have gotten up and yelled at me. You could have stopped me. I should have stopped myself right then and there and turned to Garland and put him in hospital. That would have been what a real team-mate would have done.

A friend would have gotten revenge. But not me, not Kai. There's no Kai in team. Even Tyson thought I was there to back you up. He was happy. He said 'He did this! Look what he done to your team-mate Kai! You've got to even the score!' I had looked at you then. It was at this point your eyes had turned to me and I had seen pain. I looked expressionless to everyone else, but you read me like a book. Pain from your injuries…and pain because you knew my next words before I said them. You smiled faintly at me, a ghost of the smug smirk you usually have when you know you're right about something. Then you blacked out completely. Then I betrayed you.

I didn't even ring an ambulance. I left with my 'team' and you were in Tyson, Max and the others' hands. How I walked away, I don't know. I have no idea. It's not like I felt nothing. Boris was watching me the entire way and I think even he was surprised that I looked like I didn't give a toss about you. But I didn't sleep that night. I haven't slept for five nights now. I always see your pained eyes and the faint smile.

I failed. I lost. Failed to protect you and Bryan and Spencer, failed to save myself. I could have prevented it all. I knew you were going to BEGA headquarters. I knew what you were going to do. I could have stopped you. I should have…or I could at least have gone with you and backed you up.

Tala. I wish I could rewind time. I wish I could go back and change everything. I'd have fought beside you in every single match, instead of fighting single battles and switching after each turn like the other teams did. I promised I'd blade with you at tournament finals once. Nine years later and I still haven't fulfilled that promise. And you're still waiting. I don't know why you never gave up on me. I don't deserve the trouble and effort and time you always made for me. You never did speak much, but you never needed to. Just sitting beside me in silence was enough. I wish I could reverse it all. I'd fight for the Blitzkrieg Boys, instead of for myself. I'd fight for Bryan and Spencer and for Russia. I'd fight for you.

Even you snapping at me would be better than this. Even you being sarcastic, even having an argument. Even losing to you in a snow fight like I always did when we were kids.

Hn…funny. I've been remembering so much lately. Things I thought I'd forgotten, but they all come back when I look at your bandaged face. You're asleep. You look peaceful. I wonder if you know I'm here. Probably not.

They've brought my beyblade and they've put it beside your head. It's resting there, on the pillow. I've just moved over to it and picked it up. I'm looking at it, Dranzer wasn't destroyed in my battle with Brooklyn.

My eyes are moving from Dranzer, to you and then back to Dranzer. The guilt is merging with something else. Something stronger.

Your hair is flame red. The same colour as Dranzer's wings. The same colour as fire. The same colour of the blood that was spilled; your blood.

Anger…is red.

Brooklyn won. But I still stand. He defeated me, but I am not down. I am the only remaining member of the Blitzkrieg Boys standing. He beat me. I want to beat him back. I want to get him back and bring down his team, and Garland, and Boris. Not for myself. Not so I can defeat Tyson. But for you. For Spencer and Bryan. I want revenge for everything and I am going to get it. No matter what the cost, I promise you Tala. I will defeat Brooklyn. Even if it costs me my beyblade. Even if it costs me my life.

Dranzer was not destroyed and this beyblade can still spin. It can still go on. It can still fight.

And so can I.

Author's note:

Well, there is part one. I hope you enjoyed it. Please remember these are all thoughts and Kai's thoughts are bound to be more emotional than his actions. Now, in each chapter it's up to you to guess at which points during the seasons the character's thoughts occur in. It's part of the fun for you. Sometimes it's obvious, other times it's not. Feel free to guess each time you review and I'll let you know if you're right or not. And I'll give you a hint with this one…it's not season 1, that's for sure! Anyway, please review and prepare to dive into Tala's thoughts in the next chapter.