Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine, except for the story (if it isn't slightly overdone).Even title doesn't belong to me. It belongs to a taiwanese movie i heard of but only watched for 20 minutes. So yeah. Don't own, don't sue.

A/N: Sorry guys, another story from me. This time I intended it to befunny but i don't think i faired too well. As mentioned above, i've got this title and idea from a movie. But i've never really watched it so i wouldn't really their plotline (though i can slightly guess). It's a typical story following a predictable plotline and a means of getting two guys together. So yeah. Warnings: Yaoi and OOCness. That's about it.

Oh, and think: 15

Chapter One: An Idea

"So you see," Naruto said finally. He looked to his three best pals sitting opposite of him. "You guys have got to help me. That old hag is threatening to kick me out!"

Said three began sipping their tea. "Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, are you even listening to me? She's kicking me out! I'm going to be homeless! Do you guys understand that?"

Neji was the first to put down his cup. He looked up at him, his white pupils, as usual, were blank. "We know what 'kicking out' means. No house, no home; living on the streets. We're not 3 year olds."

"So why aren't you offering to help me then? Like what good ole friends do for each other?" Naruto flung his arms out, exasperated. His friends continued admiring their tea. Then, after a while, Shikamaru spoke.

"I'm bored."

"Same," agreed Kiba.

A vein threatened to pop out of Naruto's forehead. "The deadline is in 3 hours," he said through gritted teeth. "In or out?"

"You mean 'in or in'?" was Shikamaru's lazy response. "You won't leave us alone if we don't help you, will you?"

Naruto sighed a little. "Glad you guys know."

"But," began Kiba, "we don't really care. We realized that you're the one all desperate and begging and when the three hours is up, you'd be sulking like a little girl. We need that sort of entertainment for now."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh you're cruel!"

When his companions resumed drinking their damn tea, Naruto decided to give up on them. He looked around the room they were in –the Ninja foyer. This is normally were all Ninja's, regardless of rank, would usually meet up or hang before missions began. Unfortunately for him, today it was empty save for the four of them.

Unconsciously, Naruto began tapping the table. He was getting desperate now and if he didn't pay his due rent, the landlord was sure as hell going to kick him out. He couldn't understand. It's only been two weeks late, he thinks. It's not like I'm not going to pay. And it's not like I'm not punctual on this either. Suddenly he thought back to those other times when his payments were late. Okay, fine. So this is slightly regular, but still. I'm the future Hokage here! She should be glad I'm living in her damn flat!

Then he sighed.

Hopeless, he turned back to his friends. "Please?" he begged again.

"This has not been the first time," Neji said. "We're getting tired of this and you never paying us back."

"It's not that I don't want to pay back," he defended, "but Konoha is so goddamn safe these days, I don't even have enough missions to survive on." Then he remembered something and added, "It's all your fault anyway! You get all the missions and leave me with nothing. You know what? You're obliged to pay my rent!"

He stood up then, hoping his height now would intimidate them a little. But again, they continued sipping their tea.

"It's so boring," Shikamaru complained again when he finished his cup. Again, Kiba nodded.

Naruto dropped back down in his seat. "Are you guys even listening to me?" he murmured.

Shikamaru looked around at the empty foyer. Perhaps they were early today, or maybe it was a special day that they didn't know about? He sighed. Naruto was right, Konoha was getting so safe that it wasn't just the blonde; almost everyone didn't have enough missions to survive on. Of course, Shikamaru usually wouldn't mind, but –damn –does it have to be so boring too?

Kiba saw Shikamaru looking around and didn't have to guess what he would be thinking. If only there was something to do around here, he thinks. Then he turned to look at the blonde and was about to finally offer paying when an idea struck him. He looked around. Yes, it was empty.

"You know what?" he said sitting up all straight. His friends looked at him curiously.

"What?" Naruto replied, listless.

"We'll pay your rent."

Immediately, Naruto sat up straight. "Really?" he asked, happiness oozing all over. "Guys, you're the best!" He jumped over the table and prepared to give them all a bear tight hug when Neji and Shikamaru both said coldly:

"We didn't agree."

Naruto was taken aback. "Huh?"

"There's a condition though," said Kiba. He put on a serious face and Naruto suddenly gulped. "You see that door?" he continued. Naruto turned back to see said object and nodded. The atmosphere was deadly quiet, to Naruto anyway. "Smash your head on it."

Then Kiba laughed. "Just joking."

Naruto decided that he didn't like Kiba's sense of humour.

"Okay, this is the idea." Kiba suddenly turned serious again. "First one in. I don't care who it is; male or female, cat or dog, fat or skinny." Kiba's eyes narrowed. "You have to make them like you within a months time. After that," he leaned back in his seat, relaxed, "don't say one month's rent, I'll throw in another two."

Naruto's eyes were glazed; he remained caught in the last sentence, thinking nothing else. "Waa," he said unbelieving, "three months rent?"

"Yes," confirmed Kiba. Shikamaru and Neji looked at him not understanding where this was going. "It's going to be fun," he whispered to them. They looked back at the blonde and registered a dreamy look on his face. Then they both shrugged. Who cares.

When Naruto was snapped out of his idiot state, he looked at Kiba in the eye. "Deal," he said, fire ignited in them.

"Anyone," Kiba reminded him.

"Anyone," he repeated.

There was silence and then –

"Ha Ha Ha Ha! This is going to be so easy!" Naruto cackled.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha! What a fool!" Kiba stopped himself then. "I mean, no, what a genius."

Naruto didn't take any notice however, but when he finally calmed down he had the senses to ask for the details.

"Well basically," Kiba explained. "It's like a little contract. Time limit is one month. During that period you'll have to do things that normal couples do. At the end, we'll pay your extra two-month rent if they admit to liking you when we ask. And when I say like, I mean really really like. But," he shot a glance at Naruto; " if we find out that you cheated on this you're going to regret this forever." A mean look. "We'll sell all your valuables and possessions to get the money back."

"Like I'll cheat." Naruto laughed it off. "I'm irresistible anyway."

"I'll personally throw in a month's rent if you get her to kiss you. Tongue and all." All pairs of eyes went to Shikamaru. "What?" he feigned innocence. "I'm just trying to join in."

Naruto thought about this for a while. Wow, four months rent. But what if-?

As if reading his mind, Kiba added, "If you fail, the month's rent will still be yours. We just need to be entertained a little, that's all."

Without further ado, Naruto agreed. "Fine."

"We shall call this-" Kiba pondered on it for a while. Then, eyes lighting up for his brilliant brain, he announced, "the 'Naruto and so and so Contract'".

Both Shikamaru and Naruto dropped in their seat. Neji, on the other hand, continued drinking his tea.

"What?" Kibacluelessly asked."Don't tell me that's a shit name."

Ignoring him, Neji decided to add his own two cents. "Since it's a contract for love, why don't we just call it the "Love Contract"? It's logical isn't it?"

Naruto nodded vigorously.

"Yeah," agreed Shikamaru.

Kiba was offended but ended up relenting anyway. "Fine."

"So first person, yeah?" Naruto reaffirmed. Kiba was ecstatically nodding. And soon, a couple of seconds into this, all went silent as four pairs of eyes focused on the door.

When a few minutes passed and no one had yet entered, Naruto asked again. "What if no one comes in?"

"That's impossible," replied Neji, "it's a Monday. Monday's usually have the most missions.

"Okay."

They waited for a while longer. Then, they heard a squeak, a doorknob being twisted and Naruto unconsciously gulped another round of saliva. Please, he begged, please be someone pretty. The door opened. And then someone stepped in. All eyes went wide.

"Chikiko?" Naruto looked helplessly at the now laughing bunch. "No! Please no! She's like 60 years older than me!"

Said old lady came in holding a broom and a duster. She was a cleaner in the building and a little deaf too. She looked at the boys in the back and shrugged her head. Kids these days.

When all three guys stopped laughing, Kiba said in between gulps of air, "First one in, remember?"

"No no no!" screamed Naruto. "Another chance! Please. Another chance! Don't be so cruel."

"Fine," Shikamaru said wiping away his tears. "Next one then."

Naruto sighed in relief. That was close.

They all left Chikiko to her work and stared patiently at the door. Neji, not wanting to admit that this was kind of fun, tried acting nonchalant. But of course, the others were too busy to notice.

After a few more minutes, the door opened again, this time it wasn't as slow. And when the person started jumping up and down, here and there, everywhere, it took the four boys a while to register who it was.

"Konohamaru? W-what are you doing?" Naruto asked also noting the two kids behind him.

Kiba and Shikamaru laughed hysterically.

"Naruto -nichan! I was looking for you! Let's go teach me some tricks!"

"Seems like there's no need for one month," said an amused Neji. "That kid's already in love."

Naruto was red in the face. "No, not today, you idiot. I've got some things to do. Go now. Shoo! Shoo!"

"Can I help?" Konohamaru became excited. "Is it a mission? Can we come too?" He pointed to his friends.

"No, it's not a mission. Now go! We're waiting for someone."

"No, we're not actually," said a happy Kiba. This was turning out to be more fun that he'd imagined. "You've got your match."

Naruto started pretending to puke. "He's a kid for Chrissakes! That's –that's… that's paedophilia!"

Konohamaru gave him a confused look. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Shut Up!" ordered Naruto, angry. "If you don't want to go then sit down and be quiet. And don't cry," he added when he saw some tears forming from the boy, "you're almost aman."

Konohamaru and his group decided to leave their Naruto -nichan alone and sit on a table far away. Naruto felt a pang of guilt but decided that he should solve his own matters first. Konohamaru and him? He'll be dead if that happens!

"Look next one, please. Seriously. This is serious now." He looked at each of his friends, one by one. "I don't care who it is, what it is. The next person. Hell, even if it's …" he struggled for a name, "even if it's Chouji I wouldn't mind. Please?"

Shikamaru eyed him curiously. "Really? Even if it's Chouji? Gee, you must be desperate."

Naruto nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Okay," they relented, sighing. "But this is the last one. And it's final. Keep in mine that the only reason we're letting you off is because Kohomaru's a kid and not because he's a guy. Got that?" Kiba warned.

Naruto didn't really get it but nodded again anyway.

They waited for another 10 minutes or so but still, no onecame in. Shikamaru yawned, Neji poured himself another cup of tea but Kiba and Naruto continued staring intently at the door.

"Let's go."

The two didn't hear the kids' voices but once they obstructed their line of vision they cried out: "Ey! What are you doing?"

"We're going now," Konohamaru replied curtly, "since Naruto-nichan isn't talking to us."

"I was not not talking to you!" Naruto defended. Here was his Number 1 fan in Konoha. He didn't want to piss him off.

"Whatever!" The little kids stuck their tongues out and exited the room. Naruto was about to grumble at this before he heard a dull 'thump'. Oh no, he thought. They must've tripped.

"Oh my god! Get out of here brats!"

Upon hearing this, Naruto would usually storm out and yell at whomever it was that yelled at little Konohamaru like that. But now, he was more than thrilled. It's a girl's voice! His mind chanted. A girl, a girl, a girl! Oh, and she doesn't sound too old or too young. Perfect!

He prepared to stand up and cackle and do a victory sign all at once, but suddenly he heard another, which completely caught him off-guard.

"You dropped this."

He stopped in his tracks trying to recognize that familiarly soft voice. Kiba and Neiji were too. But Shikamaru knew who it was. He leaned back against his chair, wondering what the outcome will be. "The girl or…"

"Thanks Sasuke-kun."

Kiba burst out laughing at this. Naruto didn't know what to do but pray that the girl would come in NOW. Shikamaru listened intently. Those footsteps, that chakra. It's…

The door opened.

"SASUKE!"

Tbc?