Title: Outcast

Summary: Love is like riding a broomstick. Some people are addicted to it and others just can't seem to get the hang of it.

Couples: Ron/Hermione (yes! My very first R/H fanfic! I'm a big D/H fan, but after seeing the 3rd HP movie again I just couldn't resist)

Disclaimer: I own all the Harry Potter movies, but that's all. Too bad.

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Hermione looked around the Great Hall, her eyes meeting the gaze of people she once considered her friends. They seemed to look straight through her now. A shiver ran down her spine as she noticed it. She averted her eyes and tried to find an empty seat. They were all taken.

She bit her lip, her hands firmly clutched around her robes, trying to look like it didn't matter to her. Thoughts whirled around in her head. Memories of a time in which she felt happy, accepted. A time in which she was judged by her character, not her looks.

Hermione Granger wasn't the prettiest witch around, that much was sure. It was one of the reasons she was always complimented about being so smart. Most guys barely acknowledged her, only speaking to her when they needed something done. In her sixth year, she was Gryffindor Prefect, the smartest witch Hogwarts had had in many years, and so alone.

She had never had many friends, even before she went to Hogwarts. Girls never bothered to hang out with her, because she wasn't interested in the things they cared about. When she had gone to Hogwarts she had hung out a bit with some girls, but they always turned out to be boring after a while. All they cared about was make-up and guys. Even Ginny, the one girl she had thought to be a real friend, let her down in the end.

Of course she had still been happy. There were two guys that were her friends and she thought that they would never let each other down. Harry and Ron. After a rough start they had become the bestest of friends, and nothing could end that.

Or so she thought.

Thinking back of the heated argument she had had, the accusations they had thrown at her, she felt her blood beginning to boil again. She could still remember Harry's eyes, the way they had turned from a fiery emerald to ice-cold green. The sound of his harsh words, and the way it had made her want to laugh out because what he was saying was too insane to be true.

But yet he believed it. He believed that Hermione willingly destroyed his relationship with Ginny because she had a crush on him. A crush that was so powerful that she wouldn't allow anybody else to come near her loved one. A crush, that hadn't even existed.

And Ron and Harry had abandoned her. Had broken their friendship and never spoken to her again. Eventually the rumours about her being responsible for Harry's broken heart had spread all through Hogwarts, leaving her more alone than ever imagined possible.

She turned her back to all the people who had started talking softly as soon as she had entered the Great Hall. The last thing she saw were Ginny's eyes, filled with loathing and anger. She bit her lip once more before exiting.

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Wandering through the school she breathed in the atmosphere of peace there always seemed to be whenever the halls were abandoned. She walked through halls and more halls, not bothering to see where she was going. It didn't matter. As long as everybody was in the Great Hall she felt safe here, not so selfconscious as she did in the presence of others. It almost made her feel good about herself. Almost.

She heard a moan and stiffened. Her footsteps came to an abrupt halt but the people in the corner had already seen her.

Ron messed up his hair with one hand and leaned into the wall. In his arm he held Parvati, and they had been making out furiously until Hermione had noticed them.

"What are YOU doing here?"

Parvati questioned in a tone that made it obvious she thought herself to be above Hermione.

"The library is thát way Granger"

Ron added with an oh-so-sweet fake voice.

She didn't bother to answer, quickly slipping past them into the direction she had been heading before. She heard Parvati whisper something about ugly witches and their obsession with books and heard Rons wellknown chuckle before she walked into her bedroom.

It was her own room, because nobody wanted to be her roommate, but she was secretly glad about that. Nobody would ever have to know what she did in her room. Nobody would ever find out as long as she was wearing her robes.

She critically observed her looks in the mirror before suddenly throwing her books at them. The mirror shattered and she took up a piece of glass, holding it in her hand like it was a secret treasure. Then, with another frustrated scream she started attacking her arms, slashing her wrists open time and time again until the carpet seemed to have changed colour. She didn't feel pain. She never did. She only felt loathing, towards the person she had become. She wanted so desperately to be happy, but nobody would let her. Nobody would leave her alone when she wanted to, and when they did leave her alone she craved for them to be there.

She fell down on the floor, the hard wood under the carpet skimming her knees. Teardrops started to fall on the floor, until she hid her face in her hands and sobbed in silence. How could they do this to her? How could they be so cruel? Didn't they understand that she needed someone? Someone who could make this madness stop?

Because she felt like she was going mad. For weeks now, she had stopped eating, stopped caring because it made her feel numb and numb felt oh so good. She had started hurting herself, because if she did want to feel something it had to be there. She had to be able to feel because sometimes the numbness scared her and she just wanted to be happy but happy seemed so out of reach. She was going crazy. And she didn't know how to stop it. She couldn't do it on her own.

Review please!