Disclaimer: I don't own the MGS series. (The Patriots do!)
Chapter 1: Camel spiders
Snake: (Calls Paramedic.)
Paramedic: I see you caught a Camel Spider.
Snake: ………
Paramedic: Camel spiders are nocturnal animals, often spending days sleeping in Holes and Barrows they dig.
Snake:………
Paramedic: They normally won't attack humans, but will bite if provoke so take care not to aggravate it.
Snake:………
Paramedic: They're not poisonous, and use mainly their strength and speed to catch their prey. The Camel Spider is Carnivorous and lives on a diet of insects, spiders, scorpions and small lizards. It is so voracious that it will feed until it is too bloated to move effectively.
Snake: ……So, how does it taste?
Paramedic: ……Snake, it's a spider.
Snake: And a pretty big one at that, it should make a rather filling meal right?
Paramedic: Ugh! I can't believe you would even think of eating something like that!
Snake: What? This is the wilderness we're talking about, I can't just crack open a Calorie mate or a packet of instant noodles anytime.
Paramedic: Well, the guide doesn't say anything about it.
Snake: And why is that?
Paramedic: Well I don't know, maybe it's because in a normal situation, nobody would even think of trying to eat it. Or maybe it's because this is a guide about Wildlife in RUSSIA, whereas the Camel spider is primarily found in Deserts. How DID you come across it anyway?
Snake: It was just wandering around the jungle ground.
Paramedic: ……sure.
Snake: No, really. Anyway, do you think it's edible?
Paramedic: Ugh! I give up! Do what you like! (Signs off)
Snake: (Stares at the Camel spider for a few moments before eating it.)
Barely noticeable stamina recovery.
Snake: This is so horrible! (Throws half eaten Camel spider carcass on the ground before moving all.)
Five minutes later…
The Fear: Michelle! Michelle! Where are you?
(Sees Camel spider carcass.)
The Fear: Michelle! (Picks ups spider and begins sobbing.) Oh Michelle! Who could have done this to you? (Mourns for a few minutes before laying down the Camel spider carcass.)
The Fear: Michelle…I swear I shall find out who did this to you. And then they shall feel………THE FEAR!
End Chapter
A/N: I did this out of complete Boredom and because I liked the conversations between Paramedic and Snake so much. I also was rather amused by the fact that you could capture and eat the End's parrot so I added the last part in because of that. More will come depending on whether I get a good enough response and whether or not I suffer writer's block.