Disclaimer: I don't own the MGS series. (The Patriots do!)

Chapter 1: Camel spiders

Snake: (Calls Paramedic.)

Paramedic: I see you caught a Camel Spider.

Snake: ………

Paramedic: Camel spiders are nocturnal animals, often spending days sleeping in Holes and Barrows they dig.

Snake:………

Paramedic: They normally won't attack humans, but will bite if provoke so take care not to aggravate it.

Snake:………

Paramedic: They're not poisonous, and use mainly their strength and speed to catch their prey. The Camel Spider is Carnivorous and lives on a diet of insects, spiders, scorpions and small lizards. It is so voracious that it will feed until it is too bloated to move effectively.

Snake: ……So, how does it taste?

Paramedic: ……Snake, it's a spider.

Snake: And a pretty big one at that, it should make a rather filling meal right?

Paramedic: Ugh! I can't believe you would even think of eating something like that!

Snake: What? This is the wilderness we're talking about, I can't just crack open a Calorie mate or a packet of instant noodles anytime.

Paramedic: Well, the guide doesn't say anything about it.

Snake: And why is that?

Paramedic: Well I don't know, maybe it's because in a normal situation, nobody would even think of trying to eat it. Or maybe it's because this is a guide about Wildlife in RUSSIA, whereas the Camel spider is primarily found in Deserts. How DID you come across it anyway?

Snake: It was just wandering around the jungle ground.

Paramedic: ……sure.

Snake: No, really. Anyway, do you think it's edible?

Paramedic: Ugh! I give up! Do what you like! (Signs off)

Snake: (Stares at the Camel spider for a few moments before eating it.)

Barely noticeable stamina recovery.

Snake: This is so horrible! (Throws half eaten Camel spider carcass on the ground before moving all.)

Five minutes later…

The Fear: Michelle! Michelle! Where are you?

(Sees Camel spider carcass.)

The Fear: Michelle! (Picks ups spider and begins sobbing.) Oh Michelle! Who could have done this to you? (Mourns for a few minutes before laying down the Camel spider carcass.)

The Fear: Michelle…I swear I shall find out who did this to you. And then they shall feel………THE FEAR!

End Chapter

A/N: I did this out of complete Boredom and because I liked the conversations between Paramedic and Snake so much. I also was rather amused by the fact that you could capture and eat the End's parrot so I added the last part in because of that. More will come depending on whether I get a good enough response and whether or not I suffer writer's block.