Hey, who forgot about this story? I almost did! Well, I've finally managed an update. I hope people are still interested and its been so long since I've updated that I'm worried that none of this chapter makes sense to the rest of the story lol! So please review and tell me what you think!

Enjoy!!!

Tow All The Conversations

"You dated Ross for a while, is that correct?" Dr Joan Hartford asked, looking up from her notepad at Rachel; who sat opposite her.

"Uh, yeah..." She nodded. "About 7 years ago now."

"But you have a baby together?"

"Yes, Emma...it was just a drunken one night thing." Rachel sighed.

"Okay..." She nodded. "So tell me, whilst you were dating Ross did you ever notice his violent temper?"

"No, not violent..." She replied. "But I knew he had a short fuse... we would fight over stupid things but then it wasn't just him, it was me too.."

"Were you ever scared of him."

She shook her head. "No, never... that's why this is so hard to take in."

"Why is that?"

"Because from what's been said... Ross only hurt Chandler when he was upset or stressed about something..." She answered. "I mean, if we had an argument, he'd take it out on Chandler instead of me."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Guilty..." She replied. "Ashamed...sometimes I would to do stuff purposely because I knew it would annoy Ross."

"Do you think that Chandler would blame you?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "Maybe a little."

"Try and talk to him about this...Tell him how you feel." She advised. "Now, I'd like to talk more about you and Ross."

"Okay..." She nodded.

"Were you in love?"

"Yes..." She smiled slightly.

"Do you still love him?"

Rachel took a deep breath, think about her question carefully before answering it.

"I thought I did."

"What do you mean by that?" Dr Hartford asked.

"When Ross and I split up...we got back together again, not long after...but it didn't last that long." She explained. "For a while after that, I never thought I could ever trust him enough to be with him again but as the years went on and as we become better friends...I thought about it a lot...I really did think that one day we'd end up together."

"Why has that changed? Because of what's come out?" She asked.

"Maybe a little... I think in a perfect world we would get back together..." She answered. "I mean, we have this big history, we have a daughter... if we were to get back together, we'd be a proper family..."

"But now, you don't want that?"

"Like I said, in a perfect world, yes I would but that's because in a perfect world there would be no fights, no jealously and no distrust," she replied. "And honestly I don't think what we have...or had is strong enough to get through all that."

"Does Ross feel the same why?"

"I don't know."

"So, you haven't told him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I guess I've only just worked it out for myself," she said slowly. "I think I kept telling myself that I still loved him but didn't want to be with him because of what he's done."

"And you're sure you're not still in love with him?"

"I guess...I guess I was just in love with the idea of him."

"You need to talk to him, neither of you will be able to move if you don't."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She nodded slightly, deep in thoughts.

XxXxX

Monica stood outside Ross' apartment, waiting for him to answer the door.

"Monica what you doing here?" He asked, surprised to see his sister.

"I came to talk."

"Uh, well I guess you should come in." He stepped aside to allow her into the apartment. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"No, it's okay." She shook her head, sitting down on the couch. "We need to talk about all this."

"Yeah," he said quietly, looking down.

"You're my big brother, Ross I want to know what's happened to you."

He sat down next to her. "I don't know what to tell you, Mon."

"Ross, you do realise that if Chandler would have wanted nothing more to do with you, I would be on his side, I would cut you out of my life," she told him causing him to look down again. "But he won't and part of me is glad of that because you are my brother but then another part me wishes that we could just walk away and forget all this."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," he mumbled.

"But we're not going to," she added. "And I think you owe us a real explanation for why all this happened."

"I know I do but I don't know!" He stood up.

"You must know you wouldn't have done it for so long!" She exclaimed. "Was it because something happened to you?"

"Like what?" He asked.

"I don't know, did someone bully or something at school or college?"

"Monica, I was a geek and unpopular of course I was bullied!"

"Is that why? Because you didn't want to get bullied at college so you decided to bully someone else?"

"No...no...I don't think so."

"Well, why Ross?!" She raised her voice slightly.

"I don't know!! Maybe a little because of that, maybe a little jealous and stress...I can't pin point the exact reason." He shouted back and was kind of glad about the fact that she didn't flinch away, at least she wasn't scared of him like Rachel was. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice before continuing. "But that's why I'm going to therapy to try and find out."

"I just want my big brother back," she whispered, quietly.

"I know." He nodded, fighting back the tear. "I'm sorry."

"I better to go."

"Yeah, okay, thanks for coming over to talk."

"Just...just work all this out okay," she said, turning to look at him once she reached the door. "So, we can all get on with our lives."

"I'll try." He nodded, forcing a slight smile.

"Bye," She said, opening the door.

"Bye," he whispered, watching her close the door behind her.

XxXxX

"This is what you want to do, isn't it?" Chandler asked, Joey as he helped him pack up his stuff read to go to LA. "I mean, you're not just doing this because of everything that has been happening."

"No, I've been thinking of doing this for a while but everything always seemed perfect here so there was no need to leave." He explained. "I guess, the one good thing that's come out of this, is that it's made us all realise we can't stay carefree 20somethings forever."

"I guess you're right." He nodded slightly.

"I'm gonna miss you guys though."

"Even Ross?" Chandler asked.

Joey sighed, picking up a box and carrying it out the room. "Why do need to bring him into this?"

"Because he's been one of your best friends for the last 10 years or so." Chandler followed him. "You need to deal with this, you can't just up and leave without talking to him."

"As far as I'm concerned you're my only best friend." He replied.

Chandler sighed, he didn't know what else to say.

"Can I ask you something?" Joey asked.

"Sure."

"Why are you sticking by him?"

"Because he's my friend."

"Yeah, you've said that before but I don't get it." He said. "After everything he's done..."

"My life has turned out pretty great." Chandler finished off the sentence. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met Monica."

"You think you owe him this because he introduced you to Monica?" Joey questioned.

"No." He shook his head. "I just...it's...I don't know, Joe."

"Is that the quote for this situation?!" He exclaimed.

"What?"

"That's all I've heard you and Ross say!"

"Joe, this is hard okay. I don't know the reason why Ross did this," He stated. "I mean, when it first started it wasn't like it was all time and when he wasn't stressed or anything, we got on really well. I never had a friend like that before."

"So, that's why you let him do it?"

"No, I just thought it was something he was going through," he tried to explain. "I thought that once he had sorted things with Carol, once they got married it would stop."

"But it never."

"It did for a while." He shrugged, sighing as he sat down. "Believe me, Joe when I say when it started out it wasn't that much of a big deal. He thought there was something going on between Carol and me. There's a lot of guys who would have hit me because of that... then there was another time where I ended up in hospital which was quite bad but that was it for ages...for years."

"But he put you in hospital?"

"I know but the point that I'm trying to make is that when it first started I didn't think it was a problem, I just thought he lost it for a moment. That's why I never said anything to begin with. " He replied. "And those two incidences were the only ones until long after Carol and him got divorced."

"It doesn't make it right."

"Joe, nothing is going to make this right again." He sighed. "Nothing is going to be the same like it was before and I knew this would happen."

"That's no excuse to keep it to yourself." He replied. "I'm glad we know, exactly what sort of person Ross is."

"That's just it! You don't know who he is, if you did you would want to help him."

"After everything he's done..."

"No, after everything he's been through." He exclaimed. "He's got a problem, Joe...that's what made him do this. You're acting as if, he kick the hell out of me for no reason for 17 years!!"

"Hasn't he?"

"No, no it's not like that."

"Then what the hell is it like because I'm sick of the secretes!" Joey raised his voice slightly. "I thought we were best friends and you couldn't come to me with something like? And when I do try to help, when I take your side... you take his side? Always defending him when you should be sending him down for what he did to you! And I really don't understand why you're not!"

"Because I don't know how!" Chandler shouted back. "I don't know what's the best thing to do. I don't know whether I should keep him away from my family, the people I care most about... I should try and help him... Should I just forgive and forget. I don't know, Joe!!! I don't know!"

Joey stared at him for a moment, watching as he sat with his head in his heads.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" He asked, quietly, sitting next to him. "I thought you wanted to help him."

He looked at him. "Its the best thing to do, isn't it?"

"No, Chandler the best thing to do is what you're heart is telling you." He answered. "Screw everyone else... if you want to cut him out of your life when go ahead. If you want to help then do that. You been through a hell of a lot and it's time you started to do something for yourself."

"Yeah but..."

"No but, dude you're gonna be a father soon and I know we'd all like think that nothing was going to change things, but you guys becoming parents would have done. You guys are moving away to be family." Joey told him. "The fact is for so many years the six of us have been each others family and even though none of us wanted to admit it that changed when you and Monica got serious. We stopped doing things together as much as we use to because you two wanted to and needed to be alone."

"No matter where I am or what happens you're still going to be like my brother, Joe."

"I know that, that's why it worked out when you two started to spend time alone because we all knew that no matter we will always be there for one another and we knew that we had to let you two go because you're meant for each other. We knew you'd always choose each other over one of us." He said, smiling slightly.

"We will always be there for each other?" Chandler repeated. "What about now? What about Ross?"

Joey looked down. "I can't forget...I can't go back to how thing use to be but maybe...maybe I acted like this because I wanted someone to blame for all the changes."

"So what do I do now?" Chandler asked.

"I can't answer that for you." Joey stood up. "But I think you should talk to Monica about how you really feel."

"Yeah." He nodded. "What about you?"

"I'm going to LA, I'm going to be the next best thing, baby!" He grinned.

Chandler smiled in return. "You're going to do great."

"Yeah, thanks man... I owe a lot to you."

"What are brother for." Chandler replied. "Gonna miss you, buddy."

"Gonna miss you to." He replied, pulling him into a hug.

"It's took us ten years but I think we've finally managed to have a deep and meaningful, mature conversation." Chandler added.

"Well, that's not like us at all." Joey replied, just as a bell went off in the kitchen.

"Y'know what that means." Chandler said, looking at Joey.

"You want to?" Joey asked, not being able to be a smile creeping on his face.

"I think we need to." Chandler smiled too.

"Babywatch!" They both shouted, as Chandler jumped on the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on whilst Joey ran to grabbed two bottles of beer, handing him one as he sat next to him just as the show started to play.

TBC

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