WOOOOOO... Chapter 12 is FINALLY up! I know this story has been on hiatus for a while, sorry to all the people who have left reviews begging me to continue. But I just logged onto for the first time in a while, and realized I had written another chapter that I hadn't published. I can't promise I'm going to write a Chapter 13, but I am starting a different Fanfiction that I hope to publish in a couple days. Enjoy!
After getting over her initial rage at Remus, Cecilia realized that what he'd done was a surprisingly smart move. She and Sirius now had amazingly little trouble talking to each other, (which was good because she saw less and less of Remus and therefore had nobody else to talk to on a regular basis,) except for the occasional awkward silence when one of them would bring up James or Lily. Mostly they talked about their days at Hogwarts, reminiscing and laughing over stupid things they had done as children.
The days flew by, because there was always something to do. Between Cecilia going out to hunt, conversations with old friends, and the constant stream of Order members in the house, she was always busy. Her cooking skills grew as she learned the recipes and cooking styles of Molly, Tonks, and Alastor (although he tended to have interestingly named concoctions, including one he titled "Something I've Been Told Death Eaters Love and Normally Anything Death Eaters Love is Bad But This is Actually Quite Good,") and she found herself fast becoming the official chef of headquarters.
Cecilia was acquiring something else, however. As time passed, she looked on Sirius with increasing fondness. She saw his flaws and weaknesses, but she was able to look past them to the man trying to mend himself within. He never mentioned Azkaban, but she saw how it had affected him in the guarded way he talked about himself sometimes, the nervous glances he threw around a room when he heard a noise, and how he could stare into space for hours at a time. She knew he would never fully forgive her for what she had caused in him, but he became less cool towards her every day. On several occasions, she caught him looking at her in a peculiar way, almost like how he had looked at her when they had been dating, after they had made love… and then she always looked away, blushing. No, she always told herself. It's over between the two of you. He could never love you again. You saw to that.
One day in late November, she was making a midnight snack for Sirius when Snape walked into the room. Sirius immediately jumped to his feet.
"What are YOU doing here?" he snarled angrily.
"I'm here on Order business," Snape sneered. "But, I assume, so are you? Oh wait," he covered his mouth in mock surprise, "silly me, I forgot, you're always confined here, aren't you? Along with your little girlfriend over there?" Sirius moved threateningly towards Snape, but Cecilia immediately dropped her spatula and placed herself in between the two men.
"Sirius, you're being ridiculous," she chided softly. "This maggot isn't worth your time." She glared at Snape, her eyes flashing red.
"I give great pleasure in saying that you two are to leave this room right now, on orders of Dumbledore," Snape smiled. "He and a few other people will join me in a few minutes for a meeting. So scram, children. And you can continue doing what I'm sure you were doing before I so rudely interrupted you." This time, Cecilia had to forcibly pull Sirius out the door and into the sitting room.
"I don't see why you didn't just help me kill him," Sirius sat down, slightly out of breath, on the couch. "You hate him as much as I do."
"That's true, but his heart is so shriveled I bet he doesn't have any blood left in his veins for me to drink." She grinned at Sirius, and he smiled back. "So have you written to Harry anytime lately? Heard from him at all?"
"Well…" Sirius paused.
"What?" Cecilia pushed.
"I have talkedtohimacoupletimesviaFlooandhe'swrittenmeacoupleletters" he mumbled.
Cecilia leapt indignantly to her feet. "Are you serious? He's contacted you all those times and hasn't even THOUGHT to write anything to me?"
"I'm sure it's nothing personal. He's just so used to writing to me that he's probably forgotten that he can do the same for you. It's not like he doesn't care about you. He's just been busy is all."
"With what?" Cecilia sighed and sat back down.
"For starters, he has to put up with that Umbridge woman" (Cecilia snorted derisively) "and he's starting something called Dumbledore's Army, where he's teaching his fellow students ways to block hexes, fight Death Eaters, do countercurses, things like that. And since Umbridge would expel him if she found out about it, it's causing a fair amount of stress."
"I understand," Cecilia explained, "but I just hope he knows that I want to help him. I want to be there for him, because I never was before." She added, half to herself, "I want to feel useful."
"But you are useful-"
"I certainly don't feel like it! Albus said he was bringing me to headquarters to help out with the Order, but all I've done since I've got here is sit around, hunt, and cook!"
Sirius shrugged. "I'm sure Dumbledore has his reasons. You know him and his ulterior motives." At that moment, the front door swung open and Dumbledore himself walked in, followed by Alastor and a few other wizards Cecilia didn't know. Dumbledore inclined his head.
"Good evening, Sirius, Cecilia," he said. Alastor waved halfheartedly. Sirius and Cecilia mumbled their greetings and the group of wizards went into the kitchen, shutting the door. Cecilia turned back to Sirius, resuming their conversation.
"But I want to help. I've had all the time in the world to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I want to be out there fighting the good fight, killing the Death Eaters, protecting Harry!" Cecilia exclaimed.
"Welcome to my world." Sirius laughed bitterly. "You're in the same boat as I am. I just take comfort in knowing that Dumbledore's probably right. If we were out there instead of in here, we'd both probably be dead by now. But I can't pretend that I won't be happy the moment I get out of this hellhole. I hate being surrounded by everything I swore I'd leave. I hate it more than anything else."
"Well," Cecilia ventured, "at least we have each other." She smiled warmly. Sirius looked at her for a moment, his face gradually matching her expression. Cecilia's tone of voice changed as she said, "I know I've said this to you so many times, but I missed you every second I was out of this country, I really did. There wasn't a moment when I wasn't thinking about you. I need you to know that I always cared about you, even when I thought you were a murderer." Sirius turned to fully face her, and they sat looking into each other's eyes. Cecilia couldn't tell whether it was minutes or hours before he leaned in towards her, and for a second Cecilia began to panic, until Sirius tilted his head upwards and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.
"That's good to know," he whispered. Getting up, he said rather brusquely, "Well, it's time for me to be getting to bed. Good night." And with that, he hurried out of the room.
Cecilia fell back against the cushions of the couch, a huge grin across her face and her mind swirling with unanswered questions.