Category: Angst

Pairings: Jack/Sam , Sam/Pete

Season: pretty much all

Rating: G

Summary: Sam has come to the realization that it won't do any good to waste away on false hopes

Disclaimer: not mine blablabla never will be blablablabla ill give em back I sware

AN: wow ive gone from im there for you to its not 'us' anymore. its amazing what you come up with at 1:21 in the morning. You get all deep 'n' meaningful. R&R please.

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Realizations

She walks. She walks through this mirror maze that she attempts to call her work, her life, her reason for being. But as she walks her mind wanders elsewhere. It doesn't linger in this 'reality' she has created, for what is the point of staying there if it is not complete, if it will never be complete.

In the beginning and for all the years spent together they knew that even though they could not actually 'be' together they would always be there for each other. The protection against the harsh 'alien' environments, in hostile situations, or even just a shoulder when someone dear suffered or was lost to them. They had grown so close but yet still had so far to go. And that distance could never be crossed, regulations and their line of duty prevented that, and it was (reluctantly on some part) excepted as the way. They worked like this for so long, the unspoken thoughts, not just of them but of strategy and such, known by the other in the instant of a glance or a body movement.

Everything had been just peachy until she attempted having a life, now that gap was looking so much wider than before. She had found someone else, and yes she admitted to herself she did adore this other man, but HE was hurt by her sudden confiding in someone else…..the gap widened. Then HE took the position of General of the base, no longer a member of SG1….the gap widened. Now they were no longer together. HE was always on base while SHE was off doing 'their' hero thing, but it wasn't really 'theirs', now it was more 'the' hero thing, it didn't belong to them anymore. This line of thought saddened her. She did not enjoy being so far apart but still forced together by the fact that they must remain here for the greater good, for the worlds sake, this was so readily shown in the now uneasy silences, in the daring glances both given and received. She was upset by the lack of time they had for each other, when HE had time she was either working and couldn't be disturbed under any surcomstance or she was off world. When SHE had time he was preoccupied with his General-y business and god forbid he should have a minuet to spare…..no calm down girl, get a grip. She reminded herself that HE is the General of this top secret base, he is a busy man and he needs to have his priorities straight, like her, she has Pete. Now… everyone wants to know what she sees in him and well…..weellllll……well that's none of their business any way. She wasn't doing herself any favors holding on to that lost course of a hope, they had to move on. And even though it would hurt they had to……….

……….even Grace knew that…