Author's Note: Teletubbies are a guilty pleasure of mine. Recently a friend of mine reminded me of a Teletubbies screensaver I had a few years ago which was completely innocent looking, but unintentionally sounded very dirty with the constant cry of "Naughty Noo-Noo" by Po. My friend and I were watching Profiler when he spotted my vacuum nearby and began a tirade of how Jack would understand the vacuum's dark obsession with the red Teletubby. It is meant in fun and should not be taken seriously for even one moment.

Secret Guilty Pleasures

Jack cast a nervous look around as he stepped out of the bakery with his parcel under his arms. There was no way Samantha, Sharon or the VCTF would find out what he was doing, but paranoia resonated in his body as he made his way stealthily down the street. He was only five minutes away from arriving and another five from indulging his most secret guilty pleasure. Stopping in front of an ordinary apartment building, Jack looked around before entering. Clutching his package tightly to his chest he opened the door to an apartment and walked inside.

There was no furniture except for a large white couch and an entertainment center with a television. In the kitchenette a silver toaster gleamed on the counter. Jack locked the door, placed the bakery bag on the counter and went to look through the blinds to double check he was alone. Satisfied at last, he opened the bag and brought out the round cylindrical loaf of bread the bakery made just for him each week. Taking a sharp knife from a drawer, Jack sliced the still warm bread and placed two round slices in the toaster.

As they began to cook, he got the squeeze bottle of margarine out of the fridge and got a plate out of the cupboard. Another opening of the fridge produced a small carton of milk which he poured into a glass. Cheerily the toast popped up and Jack whisked it onto a plate and added the margarine. Studying the butter smilie face he'd made on each slice with satisfaction, he carried the plate and glass to the sofa. After sitting the glass on the floor beside his feet on the floor and placing his plate on the cushion beside him, Jack reached over and grabbed the small red stuffed toy from the far end and clutched it to his chest as he hit the Tivo remote.

As a week's worth of his guilty pleasure came up, Jack smiled and crouched slightly behind his stuffed Po. It was time for Teletubbies...

Back at the bakery, the woman shook her head as Samantha crept outside, checking to make certain no one had followed her. As Sam left, the woman at the bakery wondered what these two did with the round bread that made them both so high strung and if maybe she should introduce them some Saturday morning...

Samantha sat with her smilie toast and stuffed Noo-Noo in front of the television and wondered what Jack would think if he knew she was a covert Po and Noo-Noo shipper, unaware he was wondering the same thing about her...