My disclaimer is in my profile. I'm so tired of writing it.
Anyways! Here's what I have so far:
Johnny's into contrabands and Robin's weird!
That's pretty much it.
To the chapter!
Behind It All
: Chapter 5
Robin opened the door of her dorm room and found Johnny lounging on the sofa watching TV and smoking. "Hey Johnny"
"Finally" He mumbled, "I was wondering when you'd come back." He smashed the cigarette into the ashtray. Robin had put one on the table since Johnny was always smoking. She accepted the fact that he wouldn't stop. And as they say, if you can't beat them, join them. Of course she wouldn't start smoking so might as well accept it.
He watched the girl as she put the contents of the grocery bag into their right places. Ever since that incident with those three shit heads it had been a good couple of weeks since anyone tried anything funny on her.
"Johnny, you know I was working overtime."
He stayed quiet and followed the movements of her tiny butt, but snapped out of his little trance when she gave a small chuckle. He replied with a grunt and scrutinized her actions again. He'd come into her dorm a lot since his roommate seemed to never stop having sex, and he knew that she was used to him popping out of nowhere.
But he didn't know that she was fond of it. Actually having someone to talk her in her own dorm was really nice, something she's hardly experienced. But last week Johnny had continually picked her lock since it had become a habit for her to lock her doors. He had told her that it was hard to stay in his dorm since his roommate had explicit behavior. Of course she understood and allowed him to come in anytime he wanted, not like he would have taken no for an answer anyways. But after that week, she had gotten her key copied and given it to him so that it wouldn't take so long for him to get in.
They also had gotten a lot closer the past couple of weeks. After the incident Johnny always seemed to be next to her. And she had gotten a closer look at his 'behavior'. During classes, when he told her that he was going to the restrooms, he actually meant that he was smoking, and he didn't necessarily mean restrooms. It was some kind of Johnny-code. She knew that he smoked but it was only this week that he had told her that he did drugs. Well that was because he assumed she knew.
It happened when he was about to take a pill and she asked if he had a headache. He stopped and asked why she was asking then she wondered if what he was about to take was aspirin. He gave her a weird look and told her what it was. She had become speechless and he had thought that she had known ever since.
Smoking was already bad enough and having Johnny tell her that he was doing drugs hit her hard. Obviously she'd never say something, so she let go of it. Hoping one day she'll get used to it just like she got used to him smoking.
"Yeah, well I was waiting for you. I was strolling today and I looked at what movies were on and I spotted this one that I thought you might like, so how about it? It starts in an hour. So?"
She looked at him carefully and tried to figure out if he was stoned again, "Tonight?"
"Yeah"
She smiled and sat next to him, "Don't you think it's a little too late? I mean it's already eleven."
Placing an arm around her shoulders he replied, "If you're tired then it's okay. But if you're job is exhausting you then you should quit. Or I could do something about it."
"No Johnny." She giggled, "And I'm not tired, I'd love to watch the movie, I just didn't want you tiring yourself."
"Me?" His arm slid down and now rested on her waist, "You don't need to worry about me."
She tensed a little at his touch but relaxed again. Johnny was a touchy person, well as far as she knew. He would run his hands down her legs, back, arms, and neck. But he did know his limits and she trusted him to know when she was uncomfortable. Okay, she was uncomfortable, but since the first day she met him, he had his hands on her. But that sounded wrong, it was just like Johnny couldn't keep still and had to do something.
Johnny smirked already very sober from this afternoon. But he was definitely getting high, Robin smelled good. Tightening his grip on her waist he pulled her on top of his lap to get a closer smell of her.
Robin braced herself and kept still. A few times he would do something weird like this. Sure she was used to his mild touches and his usual high but she was still very much afraid of him. She remembered just yesterday when they were in the cafeteria and someone took the last cup of pudding that she was hoping for.
Johnny had seen her disappointed look and grabbed the cup off of the guy's tray like nothing. She told him it was okay and to just give it back, but that only made it worse. Johnny had turned around and put it back on the guy's tray before forcing him to voluntarily give it to her. Obviously the guy refused and his head was slammed down on the cash register. The guy's girlfriend then stopped everything before anything happened and gave her cup of pudding to Johnny.
She learned that her reactions to things triggered Johnny and she told herself that she needed to master a poker face, to watch her mouth, and to be careful of what she wanted.
"So what, It's a Saturday night. Are you up to it?"
"On one condition"
He removed her off of him and picked up the box of brownies that Robin had brought, "What?"
"It's my treat."
He turned his attention back at her and frowned at her.
Instantly she shook her head, "I meant that I'll buy the popcorn this time."
Johnny didn't say anything and continued to munch on the individually wrapped brownies.
…
Robin sighed; this was going to be a long night, Johnny seemed mad at her. He had gotten his car back from the shop last week and the whole car ride to the theaters was in silence. Usually they'd talk about anything, but no… When they had finally gotten there, she just trudge behind him, she didn't even know what movie they were watching.
And now there she was in front of the concession stand waiting in line for her turn with Johnny right next to her. He never said that it wasn't okay for her to buy the popcorn but he also didn't say that it was okay. She didn't want to lose him as a friend but pleasing him was so hard.
They were complete opposites. Johnny didn't care about what people thought about him, and even if it seemed as if Robin didn't either, she did. Though she just chooses to ignore them, inside it hurts, especially knowing that the stories told are only half-truths.
Oh man. It was her turn. She could just cower like she usually does and let Johnny do what he wants or for once she could not be intimidated by him and do what she wants. Ha! Her not intimidated by him! Yeah! That would be the day he got a sex change. Well… Whatever happens happens. "Could I please have one' large popcorn and a large fruit punch and Sweetarts?"
Johnny was very fond of that treat; he said something about it being his restraint from smoking. He said: "If I have a piece of candy in my mouth I can't smoke or it takes away the sweetness. Well not really, but I just don't like it."
Mustering up all the courage in her she reached for her wallet in her pocket and paid for the items as soon as the man was finished ringing them up. She looked down not brave enough to look at her companion. Carrying the items in her arms she moved out of the line and to the many doors that lead to the different movies.
"Over here." She heard him call and turned around finally realizing she didn't know where she was going.
He walked into the double doors and she followed in after him. He made his way to the last row of seats and she followed suit and sat in the seat next to him.
Placing the drink in the cup holder on the arm rest in between them, she glanced down at the food on her lap. She picked up the candy and handed it to Johnny risking only a small glance up at him.
"Nah" He dismissed her offer with a flick of his wrist.
Robin nodded obediently. She wanted to cry, Johnny was mad at her. This really was going to be a long night. She couldn't hold them back anymore, she'd felt bad since they had gotten into the car. It was a good thing the theater was dark and the movie was beginning. Slowly beads of water made their way down her cheeks.
Johnny looked at the screen; the movie was a funny cartoon for children about a bunch of talking animals doing something. He wasn't sure what the movie was about but it had a great rating and funny animals and blah. Whatever, he was only watching it because he thought Robin might like it.
The bird burped in another birds face and as they exchanged insults the children around the theater burst into laughter. He smiled at the wit of the talking bird but frowned when he heard nothing from Robin. He looked at her and by the light of the screen he saw the trails of water on her face. What the fuck was she crying about? This was supposed to be funny.
He eyed the candy on her lap and reached for it. Startling her, she flinched and hurriedly tried to wipe away her tears. "Why are you crying?"
"Because" She knew that not answering right away would irritate him and no one, especially her, liked to see an irritated Johnny, "You're mad at me."
He scoffed and tore open the wrapper of his candy, "I'm not mad at you. Don't cry. This shit was made to make you laugh." He took a piece of candy and put it on top of the popcorn, "Look at the bird he's a retard."
Picking up the blue tart, she put it in her mouth and looked up at the screen. Johnny wasn't the greatest at apologizing and even if he technically he didn't, he still made her feel better and that, he was the greatest at. She smiled when she felt his hand on the other side of her head and as he gently coaxed her head into resting on his shoulder.
…
Johnny sat on the sofa in Robin's dorm room heavily. But as for his petite friend, she made herself comfortable on top of the coffee table in front of him.
"That was a great movie!" She laughed.
"Hn" He grunted, he couldn't say the same since he fell asleep for half of it.
She frowned and looked down, "Sorry Johnny."
Raising a brow, he watched her as she explained.
"It's just that you always treat me and since you're my friend I'd like to treat you too."
Trying to make himself more comfortable, he adjusted himself until he was lying down. "Robin, I've got money to burn and I really don't know what to do with it."
"You must get a big check from home every month."
He chuckled; she was so naïve that it was funny. "I'm talking about drug money."
She didn't know what that meant but it had the word drug in it so it must be bad.
"I deal… Robin." He said lowly.
"You're a drug dealer?" She mouthed, though none of the words came out.
Johnny nodded, "I was," He corrected, "when I was bored."
Staying quiet she looked down but then felt herself being gently pulled towards him only stopping as her face met his chest. She slowly looked up and knew instantly that he knew what she had been thinking about.
"Just don't think about it." He patted her head and mussed her hair, "Have I ever told you that you think too much?"
She smiled not wanting to irritate him but also wanting answers. "Do you get bored a lot?" Hopefully that question was subtle enough for Johnny. Any direct questions tended to annoy him.
With a small chuckle, he moved up from under her and was now standing up and looking down at the girl sitting on the sofa. Grabbing her cheeks with both of his hands, he squeezed them until he heard a little whine of pain pass through her lips and he let go. "The money I'm spending is money from previous engagements that tended to build up in a bag because of my lack of spending."
More and more questions were bubbling up inside of her and she looked down. Just how big was this bag? Or better yet, how much money did he have just by selling drugs?
Seeing the questioning look on her face he rolled his eyes. Why did she have to be so curious? "I don't directly sell drugs if that's what you're wondering. I don't go on the streets and sell to people walking around. I'm like a wholesale delivery person. They give me a shit load of stash and I take care of it and properly distribute it to the people who give it to the street sellers or whatever the fuck they are." That look on her face told him that she still had many questions bothering her. "I get over half a grand for every legit delivery I make without getting caught."
Her jaw fell, half a grand? Just who was Johnny involved with, The Mafia?
How he wished he hadn't told her. Her reaction was really bothering him, it was as if she couldn't look at him the same way ever again. Why it bothered him he didn't know but he just wanted to take back everything. He wanted to badly just start laughing and tell her it was just a joke. But she wouldn't believe him because he wasn't the person to make jokes. So he was just left with trying to ease the blow. "I know it's a lot but people who normally take that job don't get as much. You see me and the big guy are on pretty good terms."
She sank deeper into her seat. To know this little something about Johnny hurt. Or so she thought.
"Would it make you feel better if I said that we didn't know each others' names?" And for the first time since he lifted up her face she looked up at him. He gave a small smirk. "It's part of that 'if you get caught it's your shit now' deal."
She still wasn't answering him and it was getting really annoying. It was as if he knew how the cops felt when they were questioning someone and that person didn't answer. Sick, he didn't want to associate himself with those kinds of people, bastards –the lot of them.
"Johnny…" She whispered, "Is this still your current occupation?"
He shook her head, "I retired when I was a freshman. They don't know how I look and I don't know how they look, it was anonymous business." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair; this was starting to get really annoying. "If you want to hear the damn story just ask for it because I'm not going to waste my breath if you don't want to hear it."
Robin watched as he sat down next to her. She was confused because she couldn't figure out how she felt about all of this. This was all crazy but –urgh! She just couldn't say anything. And whatever had gotten into her to do what she did next was just another mystery as well.
Johnny looked down at the girl who now encircled her arms around him. But what was odd was that she wasn't doing anything else but plainly hugging him. "Robin?" He raised a brow as she looked up at him with a small smile.
"I'm so happy." She choked.
What just happened? She's happy all of a sudden? "Why?" He asked suspiciously, "Is it because I have money?"
Her eyes widened and her jaw slightly dropped as she quickly pulled away. How could he even accuse her of something like that? She stayed quiet; he could answer his own question.
'I guess not.' He thought with a smirk. Sure he didn't know her completely but he knew her more than anyone around them. "Why are you happy?"
A sigh slipped through her lips when she was certain that he had dismissed that awful thought, "You could get hurt doing something like that." When she heard him scoff, she continued, "That's not what I mean. When you do drugs –you hurt yourself, but if you 'deliver' them, then someone else could hurt you."
His brow shot up before he began to laugh. She smiled and straightened up. She absolutely adored it when he laughed because his laugh only meant one thing.
Sometimes people would laugh when they became angry or when they're sad, but not Johnny. When he was mad he'd show it, though she didn't know how he reached when he was sad because she'd never seen him sad, but! When Johnny laughs it means that he has found some sort of entertainment or he's just happy.
"Robin." He sighed, "You watch too much TV." He hoped that that would get them to stop talking about this.
"Johnny!" She whined, "I watch the news! People get shot!"
What he had wished for not to come one just did. "That's exactly why I'm on the good side of the boss and why I get paid more."
The blood drained from her face and she suddenly felt light headed and really just wanted to lie down.
Johnny looked at the now pale girl, "Robin?" He asked quietly.
"Please tell me that you've never been shot at." She pleaded with water at the brim of her eyes.
"I've never been shot at. As I was saying, that was why I was liked. I was young, the law hardly suspects young teenagers to be in large drug related business, and I was friends with a judge." He smirked at his last statement.
Dodging the law was much easier when law itself was on your side and believed that 'change' was in your future. Ha! "They suspect people of my age to be the ones selling directly to people on the street, not the ones immediately associated with the higher ranks and core of the business."
She knew him; she knew why he still had so much money. He didn't do what he did because of it; he did it for the thrill. Sighing, she wondered why he couldn't just have taken up a legal yet still thrilling hobby like sky diving or mountain climbing. "As long as you're safe now…" She mouthed silently.
"What was that?" He'd seen her mouth move and wondered if she was mocking him.
Burying her face into his chest she giggled, "I said: as long as you're safe now."
…
Robin sat in her seat patiently waiting for class to start. Johnny almost never came to class on time so she doubted he would ever come to class as early as she did. It's been her habit since she was accepted into this school to come to class at least five minutes early. It was weird but then she mostly did it to avoid further torment from people so early in the morning.
She sighed and pulled out her notebook as she sat in the same class where she had first met Johnny. Yes, she had wanted to change the two classes she had Johnny in, into classes that she would more likely enjoy but he'd been disappointed with her choice so she didn't go on with it. Well, she didn't know if it was really disappointment. "What? You're leaving me in that class with those shit-for-brains retards?" She recalled him saying.
"What are you smiling about?"
Her heart raced as she nearly leaped off of her seat. "Johnny you scared me." She sighed in relief as she caught sight of his red hair. She let her eyes close for a while before she realized what was going on, "Johnny!" She exclaimed.
He scratched the back of his neck, "Do you really have to scream? It's too early for that."
"Sorry. It's just that I never thought you'd come to class early." Wow, what she doubted just moments ago, had now come true.
A malicious smirk crawled on his face and he threw his arms around her waist, "What baby? You make it seem like I can't see you in the morning."
Okay he was stoned. He usually did things like this when he wasn't in the right state of mind. "Don't you think it's too early to be high?" She didn't fight him; he'd only latch on tighter, it was better to just wait until he gave up on the joke.
"I woke up an hour earlier than scheduled to pee and I couldn't go back to sleep so here I am." He leaned in closer and rested his face on the curve of her neck to nip lightly at the soft skin under her ear before pulling away completely.
That felt weird –she always felt that way. She couldn't describe it, it wasn't a disgusting feeling, and it was just odd, but then not really.
"We have about what? Ten minutes before class starts?" With her nod he added, "Well then you can help me with a journal topic for English." She watched him pull out a folded piece of paper from his bag, "I've been thinking about it a lot and I just can't figure it out. It's asking me what my biggest fear is."
"Everybody is scared of something."
"I know that," He unfolded the paper and placed it in front of him as he fished out his pen, "it's just that I don't really give a shit about what happens to me. I mean if I did, would I be doing the things I did?"
He had a point there, she pondered on it for a few seconds before coming up with something. "If you don't care about what happens to you then write about something that you wouldn't want to happen to someone you care about."
"I don't really give a shit about them either."
Robin looked down and remained quiet, which was interesting. It could've just been the drugs talking but it still sort of hurt. She had dealt with lots of people not caring about her but this was different. "Write about how you don't want to be raped by twenty-seven male pedophile convicts." She murmured just enough for him to hear it.
"Hey! That's pretty good. Why twenty-seven? I wouldn't want to be raped by even one man." He scoffed.
Her tone remained constant, "Because one man can't touch you, but maybe twenty-seven can." If Johnny was his normal self and she had suggested only one man then he'd say the exact things. And if she had told him her suggestion when he was 'normal' he'd smile at her and tell her that she knew him too well. And maybe if he were 'normal' he wouldn't have said what he said earlier. But she needed to let that go, it wouldn't do her any good if she dwelled on it.
A few minutes went by as she completely zoned out, and it took someone slamming the door for her to snap out of it. She reached for her bag to get a pen when she noticed that the sound of writing next to her had ceased. She glanced at the ill tempered male that sat besides her and shook her head. He had fallen asleep after just two sentences and they were just introducing what he was about to say but not what it was just yet. He'd probably forget what it was and ask her again later but at least he was finally getting some sleep. She'll just have to put his book in front of him so that the teacher wouldn't notice and he could catch up on that lost hour.
…
Johnny walked the regular route to Robin's dorm from his own. He had not seen his raven-haired friend since lunch. He had feigned illness and skipped all his classes after lunch, and now here he was heading to her dorm to see how her day went. Spotting the door right away he made himself welcome. Though, why wouldn't he be? He had the damn keys after all.
There sat the girl he was searching for on the floor leaning on the sofa staring straight at the TV. What was the use of seats when you didn't use it? "Hey." He greeted as she looked up at him and smiled.
"So… Are you feeling better?" She mocked knowing too well that he faked it.
"Mmm…" Walking over to the small sofa he sat down with a plop. He watched intrigued as she turned her body around to face him and rest her head and arms on the seat. Taking the remote off of the table, he pressed the power button and shut the anchor man up. He truly could not understand how Robin could stand the news.
"Can you help me with this stupid journal topic?"
He did forget.
"I was going to go with that rape topic but it can't get anymore self explanatory. Who the fuck wants to be raped? I couldn't describe that in a page."
Okay. He didn't.
A rough hand placed itself on top of Robin's head, "What are you scared of the most? Something that's different from natural normal fears."
Her lids became heavy and she closed her eyes. She didn't want to tell him, but she couldn't figure out why, and so she did. "Since I could remember, all I've ever wanted was a family, to be adopted, and to have parents just like all the truly happy kids had. My fear was having my wish come true but not the way it should. Lets say, if I were adopted and then my foster parents were abusive or just caused a lot of pain, if I were to report that then I'd be sent back to the orphanage and my wish might not be granted again. And the thing is, I won't, I didn't like the orphan home." And through her closed eyes she tried to fight back all her sad memories.
His eyes were only focused on her and he remained quiet. Why would she even take that shit from people she didn't even know?
She detested the orphanage. In that run-down home she learned jealousy and other ugly forms that were connected to it, and when it was released she was brought down even more. There was a school about a block or two away from the home and everyday she would see little children and their parents walk to the school.
Everyday she wondered why wasn't she in that picture. And everyday she envied them more. She wanted what they had and she wanted even better. Then one day when she was five a philanthropist donated books and toys to the orphans, she had gotten this doll of a woman with soft blonde hair and an amazing body. It had come with clothes and a hair brush, and she couldn't have been more proud.
The following day when she saw a group of children twice her age walking to their school, she rushed to them and began to show off her toy –something she was sure she finally had that they didn't.
"Look at my doll! Isn't she great! She's the best toy ever and only I have her!" Robin bragged as she raised her doll to their faces.
And then they began to laugh, "She looks like trash!"
"But, but NO! She does not look like trash! She's the best and only I have her!" She pulled out the little brush from her pocket and began to comb the doll's hair.
They continued to laugh, "You can have your stinky doll but you still don't have a mommy or daddy."
It was true; children were probably the meanest because they couldn't lie. They told the truth even if it hurt so badly. She had run back into the home crying and that's when she noticed that some of the other girls had the same exact kind of doll as her.
Again she was stuck into the group of orphans and with all the strength she could muster up in her five year old body she threw her doll to the wall. Sadly, one of the nuns had seen her and scolded her and had taken away her doll.
Every chance she had to go outside she took, and she was often around the park. By age seven she began to pick up trash and recycle to save up her money to buy something that would make the happy children envy her.
Two years after she became a paper boy and she found her fascination for the news while she read everyday. But one article stuck out the most in her memory, it talked about how going to school could make dreams come true and that the better the school the more expensive and the more likely to make your dreams come true.
At first she thought that going to prestigious school would give her parents but as she became wiser she fully understood what the article meant. That was her goal, she wanted to go to a good school, to get out of the home, and to grow up and be a parent. And so she saved all of her money, not like she spent any of it anyways, and dreamt about using it to go to a great school. But, things change, and everything changed when she met Max.
She missed him and she wondered how he was now making a mental note to check later. She just wanted to put her arms around him again, play with his soft blonde locks of hair, and hear his laugh of pure innocent joy.
Johnny looked down and Robin truly amazed. Her eyes were still closed but her expression kept changing. She went from blank as if thinking to looking as if she was about to cry to thinking again to a small smile and now to a large grin. He wondered if she even noticed. But the expression she had on now was one that he could just stare at and soon he found his fingers itching to touch her.
Robin snapped her eyes open as she felt two fingers lightly press themselves on her lower lip. Johnny was looking at her with face she had never seen him with. It was as if he was lost in thought or dreaming something so peaceful.
"What were you thinking about?" He asked not in his usual voice but in a softer tone, "Can I know?"
"Yeah but... now?"
"You can tell me later if you want."
She nodded and watched as he got up to his feet. "Robin, I'm going to go back to my dorm to finish this journal but I'll be back when I'm done okay? Don't go to work until I come back –I have a surprise for you." He ran his thumb down her cheek, "Thanks for you're help Robin, I know what to write about now, and about this morning when I said that I didn't care about people that I care about, I lied. You knew I was blown and It's kinda weird to hear someone say that they don't care about people they care about, might as well just say you don't care about them." With that he headed to the door.
Her eyes drifted close again as soon as she was out of her sight.
…
Johnny pulled open one of the drawers in Robin's room and quickly noted that this was where her underwear was located. How much underwear did she use in three days? He asked himself as he looked at the open duffle bag that sat of her bed. Moving his eyes back to Robin, he sighed.
He had come back, like he said, an hour after and he was surprised to see that she was in the same position that she was in when he left. Except this time she wasn't just thinking, she was sleeping. Knowing right away that was not a comfortable position to lie in for an hour; he picked her up and placed her on the sofa for comfort.
This was hard, why do girls have to wear bras anyways? It would make every one happy if they didn't. Except old women, there should be a law that makes old women wear bras; no one wanted to see saggy boobies. Maybe old men did –ahh whatever! He didn't care anymore! Why the hell did women have to fucking wear damn bras anyways?! Did they have any damn clue how annoying that shit is to take off?!
Giving up, he walked over to Robin and shook her lightly just for her to open her eyes a slightly. "Robin?"
"Johnny…" She grumbled before stifling a yawn, "What time is it?"
He placed his hand on her shoulder to prevent her from standing when she attempted to. "Don't worry. You still have three hours before you go to work."
She nodded and her eyes began to close again.
"Wait, wait."
"Huh?" She adjusted herself into another position.
"How many bras and panties do you use in three days?" He didn't hesitate with the question.
This time she woke up even more and her brows winged up, "What?"
Hehehe, I finally updated! Yay!
So yeah, I don't have much to say right now except that ehh, hi!
I hope you guys like it!
Anyways, big THANKS to everyone that read and/or reviewed Ch.4! Oh and my reviewers from the last chapter: You guys are so funny! Thanks again!
Until next time! R&R!