One fine day at Titans Tower, the Titans were all off doing their own things. Robin was watching TV, while Starfire went to the City Park to explore. Cyborg was napping in his room, or charging up his batteries, whatever you wish to call it, and Raven was in her own room, meditating, as usual.
But the whereabouts of Beast Boy were unknown.
Indeed, this wasn't unusual, for nobody really knew what Beast Boy did in his room. He probably played video games or something, for all anybody cared. Or maybe he slept. Or cleaned it.
Wait . . . no. He never cleaned his room.
Anyway, that's just another story. Beast Boy was in his room, but for the first time in a long while, he was BORED! Bored out of his mind, in fact! But this was unusual for the changeling. He always had some kind of joke to play, or some kind of new game to try out. But this time, there was just nothing . . .
Nothing to do but wait.
If he waited just a little longer . . .
"BEAST BOY!" came an angry voice from a couple of floors up.
Beast Boy squealed in delight. "Oh goody!" he said to himself. "That's Raven!"
Beast Boy, happy that his plan had finally come into effect, without hesitation, ran up the stairs, down the halls, and finally reached Raven's room.
"You called?" he asked in an innocent voice.
"GET IN HERE NOW!"
Beast Boy calmly opened the door to Raven's room, stepping inside.
"But, wherever can you be?"
"I'M IN THE FREAKIN' BATHROOM!"
Beast Boy squealed that his plan had come this far. Normally, his plans always blew up in his face.
"But I can't just walk into your bathroom!" cried Beast Boy. "You could be doing something . . . icky!"
"JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN HERE!"
Beast Boy once again calmly opened the door to find Raven tapping her foot, arms crossed, and looking very . . . mad.
"Raven, why are you standing next to your toilet?"
Raven sighed angrily. "You know very well!" She then reached into the toilet and pulled out a HUGE wad of wet, rolled up toilet paper. "You were playing with the toilets again, weren't you?"
Beast Boy looked innocently at her. "Maaaybe . . ."
Raven marched up to him and rubbed her contaminated hand in his face, causing Beast Boy to scream and make a disgusting face. He did not expect her to do that!
"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU?" yelled Raven in his face. "THAT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PLUG THE TOILETS!?!?!"
"Uh . . ." said Beast Boy, trying to dry off the yucky water from his face. "56?"
"I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, AND I FIND THAT IT WON'T FLUSH! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID JOKES!"
Beast Boy laughed because, unaware to Raven, this was all being recorded by the tape recorder in his pocket.
"And turns out," said Raven, more calmly. "That all of the toilet paper you used for this little 'trick' has caused a clog in the Towers plumbing system. Can you guess what that means?"
"No one can use the toilets until it gets fixed?"
"Very good Beast Boy." She patted him on the head. "And what do you think you'll know what Robin will say when he finds this out?"
"He'll say that it was all my fault, and that I'm a troublesome little gnome."
"Uh . . ." This wasn't the answer Raven was looking for. "Yeah. Sure."
"But Raven," said Beast Boy, hoping to get Raven caught up in his plan. "Can't you just use your little powers to remove the clog?"
"Yeah. I could. But knowing you, you're going to do something really stupid to get me to mess up. Aren't you, you troublesome little gnome?"
Beast Boy looked extremely offended. "Why, Raven! How could you say such a thing?"
"Do I need to remind you?"
"OK Titans" said Robin. "Anyone remember what we're supposed to do?"
"Yes!" shouted Starfire, raising her hand. "We are to turn on the TV in the lounge, where we will turn to channel 49 and scream at the top of our lungs 'WOO HOO! GO PACKERS!'. After an hour of watching the game of the ball of foot, we will say 'BOO!' everytime the other team gets a touchdown, and throw random condiments and snacks at the television set. We shall continue our rant of anger until the Packers tackle the other team, and we'll say 'YAY PACKERS! WOOHOO!' And then we'll all stand up and sing a chorus of the song of the Packers. We shall continue to celebrate until anything else goes wrong, and vice versa until the end of the game. If the Packers lose, we are to randomly shout profanities at everything that gets in our way, and we shall remain in grumpy attitudes for the remainder of the day."
"Right!" said Robin, patting her on the back. "OK everyone, do you have your weapons ready?"
Cyborg and Starfire nodded, revealing their Packers hats and big foam fingers.
"But Robin," said Starfire, placing the big foam finger on her head. "We cannot start watching the ball of foot game until Beast Boy and Raven are attending!"
"Beast Boy won't be here, and Raven doesn't want to watch."
Robin threw himself on the couch, followed by Cyborg. Starfire, who had never thrown herself on the couch before, simply leaned back until she fell on the couch. Cyborg grabbed the remote and pressed the "ON" button.
"Now all we have to do is . . ."
Beast Boys face appeared on the TV, scaring everyone out of their minds.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" it screamed.
"ACK!"
"Wait," said Beast Boy. "What does that have to do with messing you up?"
"Uh . . ." said Raven, not really knowing what to say. "I . . . DON'T KNOW! But I know you'll do something to mess me up!"
"Raven, don't be ridiculous!" said Beast Boy, stepping back. "You know I'd never interfere with our plumbing needs!"
Raven, who was trying her best to process that thought, just gave up and sighed. "All right. But if you do anything to make this even worse, I swear I'll . . ."
"Yeah, yeah, I know what you'll do. Just hurry up. All of this talk about plumbing is making me have to pee . . ."
Raven tried to block out that last statement, and succeeded, fortunately. She bent over the edge of the toilet and used her telekinetic powers to locate the massive wad of toilet paper.
"The ball's in the center of the pipe. If I can just gently bring is up here, the problem will be fixed. Just don't do anything."
"Right," said Beast Boy.
Raven closed her eyes, summoning up a great deal of energy. She moved that energy down the toilet and followed the path of the pipes, making the occasional turn here and there. Within a few moments, she found the wad.
"Great," thought Raven. "Now I just need to gently . . ."
And then it happened. Raven felt her head submerge in the bowl of disgusting water while a high-pitched laughter filled the air. And then she felt the water filling up, covering all of her head, and she then felt her hair move around.
"HA HA HA!" came the high-pitched voice. "SWIRLY!"
Starfire flew towards the Titans Tower with a bouquet of roses. She had just recently gone to the Park, and there she had found the cutest little floral shop. She just couldn't decide on what beautiful flowers to buy, until the shop owner suggested the roses to match her reddish hair.
"I cannot wait to show these to my friends!" thought Starfire as she saw the Titans Tower come into view. "And then I can put them in my room! Oh, it will be marvelous!"
But the happy thoughts escaped her head when she felt a strange presence coming from the Tower. Strange enough to stop her in her tracks, leaving her floating the air.
"What is going on?" Starfire asked herself outloud.
Then, the Tower turned black, and as soon as it had, blew up.
"Oh no!" said Starfire outloud once again. "That's the fifth time this month!" She then resumed flying to the remains of the Tower, just in time to see Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy fly out and land in the water.
She didn't know if she should fly to the Tower first, or to the floating bodies of her friends. She decided either way, it wouldn't matter, as her friends were all right. But was Raven all right? Starfire could not find her body in the water . .
It was settled! She must fly to the Tower and see if Raven was all right. Starfire resumed flying and soon enough reached the charred remains of the Tower. There, in the mass of rubble, she could easily spot Raven, who was dripping wet. Her hair looked a little twisted up, as well.
Starfire, concerned for her friend, landed in front of Raven, who was panting with rage. Yes, she had defiantly blown up the Tower again.
"Raven, what happened?" asked Starfire in a concerned voice.
"Beast Boy gave me a Swirly!" replied Raven, angry as hell and still dripping wet from the neck up.
"A 'Swirly'? What is a Swirly? Should you not be happy? I thought a swirly was a kind of ice cream you could get."
"No, Starfire. That's when somebody shoves your head down a toilet and flushes it. And your hair does this little . . . twisty thing."
"Ah . . ." said Starfire, nodding her head. "It must be a painful experience."
"Not painful. Humiliating."
Starfire nodded her head, and then took off to save her friends from the water. But since Beast Boy had shoved Raven's head down a waste dispenser, she figured Raven would be happy if she left him there.
"So . . . How long will it take to rebuild the Tower, Raven?" asked Robin, who was now nice and dry from the earlier incident.
"Oh, not too long," said Raven, throwing her arms up. Black energy surrounded the remains of the Tower, and they soon began reattaching themselves. "About a minute, maybe."
Robin nodded his head. "I can't believe Beast Boy did that to you."
"You can't?" she asked, surprised. She looked out to the ocean to see a green blob coming towards them. "I kind of figured he would do something, but he really should've figured I would do something back."
Cyborg, who was sun drying, just sat there. "I better not rust," he said.
Within a matter of minutes, Beast Boy came swimming up to the island. He crawled out, exhausted and stared at Raven. "You . . ."
"Watch it," said Raven. "I wouldn't want to have to do that again if I were you."
Beast Boy shut up.
"Can we go into town?" asked Raven to Robin. "I want to get some shampoo or some kind of soap or something. I feel so . . . unclean."
"Yes," said Starfire. "And I also wish to purchase more flowers for my chamber."
"Might as well," said Robin. "I'm bored anyway."
Within a matter of minutes, the team got into town. Raven and Starfire went off to Wal-Mart for shampoo and inexpensive flowers, while the three boys looked around and wondered where to go.
"Well I know I'm never going to do that again," said Beast Boy, still recovering from the shock of being blown out of a building.
"You'd better not," said Cyborg. "It's not good for the heart to just be sleeping and then woken up by a huge explosion."
"Let's go the video store," said Robin. "We can find something there to keep you occupied, Beast Boy."
"Yeah!" said the changeling, rushing off to the video store. "They're supposed to have 'Elf'! I wanna see it again so bad!"
Robin and Cyborg would've run after him, had he picked a better movie title. The last time they had seen "Elf", Beast Boy loaded the refrigerators with syrup. And, to make things worse, made them dress up as elves, while Cyborg dressed up as Santa Clause. For Raven, it was not the season to be jolly. It was the season to blow up large towers.
Beast Boy had already reached the video store, to find that Robin and Cyborg had stayed behind. That, or they abandoned him.
"Oh well," thought Beast Boy. "They will never get to experience the happiness that is . . . ELF!"
He ran inside, looked around, and soon got lost. You see, changelings never really have a good sense of direction. That's why there are so few of them today: because they can get lost easily.
"So . . . alone . . ." Beast Boy then looked up to find what he was looking for. There, right in front of him, was 'Elf' on VHS.
"Woo!" shouted Beast Boy, grabbing the cassette. He then looked at it.
"Oh, wait . . . it's on VHS." He looked around, but to his surprise, saw no DVDs. In fact, this was the only 'Elf' left!
"Well of course! It's a popular movie!" Somehow, he found himself to the check out and proudly purchased it with a smile on his face.
Beast Boy put the video in one of the store's plastic bags and left the building. There, he saw Robin and Cyborg, waiting for him.
"I found it!" said Beast Boy waving the bag in front of his face.
"Oh . . . you found it," said Robin. "Poo. I mean . . . uh . . . good for you!"
"Yeah! Let's go find the girls, and then we can WATCH IT!"
Beast Boy hurriedly ran off to find Raven and Starfire.
"Man . . ." said Cyborg. "If he makes me dress up like Santa Clause again, someone's not going to be very jolly."
"No kidding," said Robin, rubbing his head where he had hit the water.
"COME ON RAVEN!" said Beast Boy, down on his knees in front of Raven.
"No."
"Oh come on! You know you want to watch it!"
"I said no."
"Why?"
"Because, that movie made you crazier than you are now." She then turned to him. "If you promise me that you're not going to make me dress up like an elf . . ."
"Oh yes! I promise!" And then Beast Boy just kind of . . . lifted Raven into the air and set her down on the couch next to Starfire.
"Raven," whispered Starfire. "Is it safe to say that? Won't he make you do it anyway?"
"Yeah," said Raven, looking at Starfire. "But you know what I can do that he can't . . ."
"SHHHH!" said Beast Boy, throwing himself on the couch. "It's about to start!"
"Yeah . . ." said Cyborg, looking at the TV in confusion. "In gray and white."
"Huh?" Beast Boy looked at the TV. "That's weird. It's supposed to be in color! We're in the 21st century, for crying out loud!"
A big, white circle appeared on the TV screen.
"Isn't that the Ring?" asked Raven, staring at the white circle.
"I think so . . ." said Robin. "Are you sure you got the right movie Beast Boy?"
"Uh, yeah." Beast Boy lifted up the box for all to see.
The circle then turned into a woman combing her hair.
"DUDE!" shouted Beast Boy. "IT'S YOKO ONO!"
"That's not Yoko Ono, you idiot!" said Cyborg. "That's a lady combing her hair!"
"Woah," said Raven. "Surprise, surprise."
Blah blah blah, and then there's the well.
"Isn't that the place that the little girl is supposed to be held captive or something?" asked Robin.
"She's not being held captive," said Raven, knowing the movie very well. "She got shoved down there."
"Oh."
And then the movie fuzzed out.
"Now we just wait for a call on the telephone, correct?" asked Starfire.
But no! There wasn't a call from the telephone! Samara Morgan's head appeared on the TV! The alive one, not the dead one. Ew.
"SEVEN DAYS!" she shouted.
"ACK!" screamed the Titans.
"Tee hee hee hee hee hee! Don't look into my eyes, or you'll die!"
The Titans stared into her eyes.
"Uh . . . I'm not dead," said Raven.
"Me neither," said Robin. "Maybe we have to stare at it longer?"
They continued to stare as five minutes went by. Then ten minutes. And then it happened.
"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Apparently, the belch of Samara was enough to wet their pants. Or at least those who had pants.
"Hee hee!" laughed the head of Samara. "I scared you!"
She then began to sing a song.
"Rain, rain go away. Come again some other day."
The Titans, now sort of scared by the sudden head of Samara, didn't know what to do.
"So who's going to take the tape out?" asked Beast Boy.
"Dude, you bought it!" said Cyborg.
"Yes," said Starfire. "I agree. You should eject the tape."
Beast Boy slowly got up and walked towards the TV, the head of Samara watching. When Beast Boy was about to hit the eject button . . .
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Beast Boy, who was now running away from the TV and towards the sofa.
"TEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!" laughed Samara. "YOU CANNOT STOP ME! YOU CANNOT DESTROY THE CURSE! YOU CANNOT . . . HEY! YOU! GOTH GIRL! GET BACK ON THE COUCH! NO! DON'T COME NEAR THE VCR! NO! DON'T HIT THE BUTTON! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And then she went away.
"That was . . . weird," said Raven. "Where did you get that video from, Beast Boy?"
"Videe-O-Rama," said Beast Boy. "Way in the back."
"In the back? Did you even bother to look at the back of the box to make sure it was 'Elf'?"
"Uh . . . what do you mean?"
Raven grabbed the video box from the table. She then read out loud.
"Please take caution! The contents on this tape contain a curse that will effect everybody in a different way. It does not matter what kind of mental condition you are in or if you are relatively stable. You will still be cursed!
With love, Samara Morgan."
"Oops," said Beast Boy, smiling a nervous grin.
"No kidding!" said Cyborg. "Now I'll never be able to sleep at night! Did you see the way that girl BURPED?"
"Yes," said Starfire. "It was very significant to your emotions, was it not?"
"So . . ." said Robin, "how are we going to deal with this then? Are we just going to have to wait to even see what the curse is?"
"I guess so," said Raven. "This is weird magic. I don't know what to do. Maybe our powers will be drained or something."
"Maybe." Beast Boy then heard something. It sounded like . . . acoustic guitars? It was kind of catchy, but not something he would listen to. And it just came out of nowhere. "Do you guys hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"The guitars? And drums? And bass line?"
"Uh . . . no."
Robin then patted Beast Boy on the shoulder. "Let's go to bed. It's been a big day, and we're probably all a little warped."
"Good idea," said Cyborg, getting up. "And maybe we'll forget about that . . . thing we just saw."
The Titans all left the living room, Beast Boy the last one. And since the last one to leave a room was to turn off the lights, he reached for the light switch. But then he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Samara's head was still on the TV screen.
"Hmmm . . ." it said, staring at Beast Boy. "I think you'll be the first."
"The first for . . . EW! YOU'RE SICK!"
"What?" asked the head confusedly. But it was too late, for Beast Boy was gone.
Ooh. Scary. Review and you'll get something nice. Really. If you don't, Samara will appear on your TV screen and burp. Not like that's a bad thing, anyway.