Author Notes: Um, hope this isn't too cliche. I think Kaiba is horribly OOC here, at least according to the stereotype I found in fanfictions, which I've had more than the canon, anyway. He has to be for the idea to work, so just excuse my pulling his leg a bit, yea?

Warning: semi-implicit m/m sex (you'll see what I mean by 'semi-implicit'...), almost-NCS, swearing.

Substitute

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Honda had come running to him, which was unsettling in itself, as he knew the guy wouldn't pass up a chance to be Shizuka's hero, had the situation been less dire.

But Shizuka hadn't listened to Honda's warning. She had accepted Kaiba's challenge to a game, mistakenly trusting the guy's fairness and honesty. Unable to do anything against Shizuka's will, Honda had rushed to find Jounouchi, hoping that Shizuka would listen to his brother.

What luck. Shizuka was only here for a week's vacation, and he had only left her with Honda for a few minutes to take a look at a cat soft toy he'd been thinking of buying for her.

Jounouchi listened to Honda's story while running all the way to the mall. They had bumped into Kaiba there; then Kaiba had 'happened' to pick up a duel card that Jounouchi had given to Shizuka, apparently 'fallen' from the girl's pouch. He would return it, of course, he'd assured Shizuka, but how about they play a game of cards over it, just to make it more meaningful? If she treasured the thing so much she wouldn't mind fighting for it, right?

Jounouchi cursed under his breath. What was that bastard up to, challenging Shizuka of all people?

When he arrived, Shizuka was looking terribly frightened, cornered by a smug-looking Kaiba.

"Shizuka!" he called, and his sister's eyes lit up.

Jounouchi rushed over and quickly positioned himself between his sister and the perceived predator. That rendered himself much too close to Kaiba for his liking, but heck, as long as Shizuka was safe.

"Late, big brother," Kaiba mocked. "It's my win."

"You can't challenge her while I am not here!" He raged at Kaiba, not caring that he wasn't being quite reasonable.

"It's your own fault for not keeping an eye on her," Kaiba replied.

"And you would challenge a girl with no gaming experience?"

"She accepted the challenge," Kaiba said nonchalantly. "It was a fair deal."

"I'm sorry, Nii-chan," Shizuka murmured miserably. "I wanted it back so much, the card you gave me... and I thought I could..."

"Not your fault, Shizuka," Jou comforted her. "It's just that you shouldn't have trusted this guy."

"Just because you can't beat me, doesn't mean I'm the bad guy, loser dog."

"That is far from being the only reason, prick."

"Whatever you say, mutt, if that may comfort your poor little heart. Now, according to the bet, she'll come with me."

"What?" Jou turned to Shizuka.

"We agreed I'd spend the day with him if I lost," Shizuka answered weakly.

Jou eyed Kaiba suspiciously. "No, she won't."

Kaiba narrowed his eyes. "I should've guessed a pathetic duelist like you wouldn't have qualms about backing out on a deal."

"Onii-chan..." Shizuka interrupted, "it won't be that bad... just one outing... right?" Well, she was a bit frightened, but if she had to...

"I don't trust him."

"That's your problem, not hers," Kaiba said.

"You're sure to have something up your sleeves, Kaiba. Spill it."

"That would be between Shizuka-chan and me."

Jou glared for all he was worth. What could Kaiba possibly want from Shizuka, if not to get to him and Yuugi somehow? Kaiba's rivalry with Yuugi was the only thing he'd cared about in connection with Jounouchi and his sister.

"Just say what it is that you want," he said heatedly. "I'll give you that, and you stay away from my sister."

Kaiba looked amused. "It's not like it's something you can give, puppy."

"What?" Jounouchi turned to look at Shizuka, but she was also clueless. He turned back to Kaiba. "So there is something after all. What do you want with Shizuka?"

"Heh," Kaiba just snickered. Loser dog really was dense.

"Oy!"

"Jou..." Honda started in a sudden insight.

Jou turned. "What?"

Honda couldn't decide whether he should tell or not. It was just a speculation, and Jou might worry needlessly and excessively, but if it were true...

Then again, it was really unlike Kaiba to have that kind of... uh... motivation.

Jounouchi frowned at Honda's hesitation. "What?" he repeated.

Shizuka yelped as Kaiba suddenly stepped around Jounouchi, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door.

"We're not wasting any more time here," Kaiba said. "Let's go."

"Shizuka!" Jou grabbed her other arm. Honda leaped to block Kaiba's way.

"Let go of her, Kaiba!"

"I won fair and square. She is coming with me."

Jou gritted his teeth. "You have to get through me first."

Kaiba quirked an eyebrow. "Not that I have the slightest doubt about my victory, but I have no obligation to entertain your request, now do I."

He tugged Shizuka forcefully out of Jou's grip, shoved Honda aside, and walked swiftly through the forming crowd towards the door. Shizuka looked back helplessly at her brother.

Jou cursed. He ran after them, followed by Honda.

He managed to overtake Kaiba outside the building, and stood in a menacing pose before him.

"Move it, mutt," Kaiba said, unfazed.

"I said you had to get through me first."

Kaiba looked at him with a bored expression. "If you insist, then."

.

.

The result was predictable, really.

Kaiba towered over Jounouchi, looking down at the beaten, devastated boy.

"You could have spared yourself the extra humiliation. Some idiots just never learn."

"You bastard! I'm not giving up without a fight!"

Kaiba smirked. "Now that could've been admirable if you were not this pathetic a fighter."

Jou glared. He couldn't argue, though, now that he'd just lost.

"No more disputes then, Jounouchi. I'll take her."

Kaiba turned. Shizuka had been standing there watching the fight a while ago, but he couldn't see her anywhere now.

Nor could he see Honda. His eyes widened as he realized the trick.

He spun around to see Jounouchi hiding a smirk. No doubt, that boy had planned for Honda to take Shizuka away while he was absorbed in the duel.

He hadn't anticipated that kind of foresight from the ruthless punk he'd known, but it surely seemed that Jounouchi was capable of almost anything when his sister was concerned.

He narrowed his eyes threateningly. "That was dirty, Jounouchi Katsuya."

"It's your own fault for not keeping an eye on her," Jou quoted deliberately, his bruised face radiating satisfaction. He had won after all.

Kaiba walked over and grabbed the collar of Jounouchi's uniform, yanking him to his feet. As he was about to spit out nasty insults, though, he noticed Jounouchi's face, and paused.

"You two are quite alike."

Jou hadn't expected the remark. "O-of course. She's my sister; what do you expect?"

Kaiba continued to stare down at him, making Jounouchi extremely uncomfortable. He tried to pull away from Kaiba's hold, but the grip was as stubborn as his effort to break free, and stronger.

At length, his opponent smirked. Jounouchi's uneasiness grew exponentially.

"What!" he barked defensively.

"Very well then. I'll have you instead."

"Huh?"

"You'll substitute for your sister," Kaiba started dragging him by the collar. "I believe I'll enjoy this even more."

"Wa-wait a minute!" Jou stumbled along helplessly. "You said it wasn't something I could give!"

"Oh, you can," Kaiba smirked. "With some... improvisation."

.

.

Jounouchi paled. "I'm so not wearing that."

"I say you are, so you are."

"I'm not a girl, damn it!"

"Exactly why you need the dress and the wig. You can't pass for your sister without those."

"-...-"

"I don't recall you having troubles being a dog for Otogi last time."

Jou bristled at the unwelcome reminder. "...I lost that bet."

"Your sister lost this one."

"..."

"Put it on, Jounouchi."

Jounouchi snatched the dress from Kaiba's hand. He was at least grateful that Kaiba wasn't one for frills and ribbons. "Where's the washroom?"

"Change here."

"I don't think..."

"Yes, you don't, and you won't have opinions about my orders."

Their gazes clashed.

Jounouchi turned around. "Fine."

He began to take off his shirt, trying not to be too self-conscious of Kaiba's eyes on him.

As he pulled on the dress, he heard a low chuckle.

"Stop that," he glared over his shoulder.

Kaiba raised his eyebrows challengingly.

"Oh, whatever," Jou muttered.

It was a plain, classy gray gown, the length reaching a little above his ankles. He idly wondered if it belonged to one of Kaiba's secretaries.

...Ew.

The material was soft and comfortable on his skin, but the back zipper was a real trial. He fumbled with it for a long while, without success, and grumbled in frustration.

"Need some help?" Kaiba supplied from behind him.

"Hmph." He tried again.

Kaiba walked over. He brushed his hand over Jounouchi's bare back, making him jump.

"Hey!"

Kaiba grabbed his arm with one hand, stopping him from turning. The other hand continued to trail down the skin of Jou's back until it reached the zipper, and pulled it up.

Jou stared down, feeling disoriented at the foreign gentleness of the touch.

"Aren't you going to say thanks?" Kaiba's amused voice brought him back.

"I didn't ask for your help!"

"So you wanted me to enjoy the view of your bare back a whole lot longer."

"Don't start talking dirty, it horrifies me," Jou grunted, actually meaning his words. He started to pull his pants off from under the dress.

"I'm sure it does." Kaiba snickered.

Jou folded his clothes and stuffed them into his bag, stalling time to calm his embarrassment. His shoulders were cold from the absence of sleeves, and his thighs felt airy without the usual encompassing layer of cloth.

Kaiba continued to watch him with an amused expression.

"Okay," Jou took a deep breath and faced Kaiba. "Now what?"

"The wig?"

"Oh." He picked up the brunette wig from the chair, where Kaiba had left it, and put it on. Did this guy own a personal fashion store or what?

...Maybe he did. It wouldn't surprise him.

"The mirror is over there," Kaiba suggested.

"No thanks." He certainly didn't want to see himself in that state.

"What a pity. You actually look pretty."

"How flattering," Jou replied sarcastically. "Next?"

Kaiba took several steps backwards, as though judging an item on display.

"Turn around," he ordered.

Grudgingly, Jounouchi complied. The dress swished a little as he did.

"Hm, not bad."

Jou rolled his eyes while his back was facing Kaiba. "Satisfied now?"

"Almost." Kaiba was suddenly behind him, his arms going up around Jounouchi's waist.

Jou spun around. "What do you think you're do-"

"Nibbling your neck?" Kaiba suggested, and did just that.

Jounouchi yelped in disgust.

"Stop that!" he screeched. "What are you nibbling my neck for?"

"Isn't that a romantic way to start?" Kaiba asked, "Shizuka?"

Jou's eyes widened, reminded of what he was there for.

"This is what you wanted her for? You pervert!"

"Ah, you're finally catching up."

"And here I thought you were just a cold-hearted bastard!"

Kaiba frowned at the word 'just', but he replied calmly, "I'm a healthy boy, with healthy drives."

"Healthy?" Jou retorted. "Thank goodness I came on time! If you'd taken her instead of..."

He paused suddenly, and stared. "W-wait a minute... y-you... you can't mean... you're going to..." He couldn't quite finish the sentence, and ended up flailing his fingers, pointing at himself.

Kaiba grinned evilly, obviously enjoying this tremendously. "Yes."

"You're... you're insane!"

"Stop being so noisy. You wouldn't want me to get irritated."

"No way am I doing this, Kaiba!"

"Then do you want me to get your sister to do it?"

Jou gaped. "Y-you won't be able to find her," he said, trying hard to convince himself inwardly.

"How many possible places do you think Honda can hide her?"

"Even so..."

"And how many opponents do you think he can take on?"

"..."

"Maybe I'll put ten, just to be safe," Kaiba smiled, and reached for the phone.

"H-hey!"

Kaiba punched the numbers in, ignoring him.

"You can't be sending your troops just to..."

"Saki? Assemble a group of ten and..."

Jounouchi's hand darted out to cover the speaker. Kaiba met his furious eyes calmly.

"Just do what you want and get it over quick."

Kaiba smiled, and pried Jounouchi's fingers from the telephone. "Nothing. I changed my mind." He put down the phone.

Jounouchi watched him warily.

"Well, for starters," Kaiba said, "undress."

"Huh?"

"Are you really that inexperienced? How are we going to do it with clothes on?"

Jounouchi flustered, clutching at his dress protectively. "You made such a fuss to get me into this dress, and so soon you want it off already?"

"That's just for the effect," Kaiba said. "And the wig stays, don't worry."

"Why the hell would I worry about the damned wig!"

"It's the least of my concerns as well, I assure you. Now do you want to drag this forever?"

Jounouchi stood rigidly, face red.

Kaiba folded his hands. "I don't exactly mind, with such an entertaining view..."

"All right, all right," Jou grunted. He reached for the zipper again. Luckily undoing it was much easier. He would freak out if he had to be undressed by this guy.

...It didn't make much difference come to think of it, as he was now standing half-naked in front of said guy.

"And a much better view to follow," Kaiba murmured.

Jounouchi almost fell. "I never knew you were such a twisted pervert!"

"You've only seen so little of it," Kaiba smiled. He leaned forward, and took Jounouchi's chin in his hand.

Jounouchi panicked, slapping and pushing him away.

Kaiba wasn't pleased. "Be obedient! You do realize I can make it really painful for you if I want to."

"I still think you're crazy," Jounouchi panted, his face pale.

"Like that's going to discourage me." And Kaiba went on about... his business.

"Akh! Kaiba! Stop that!"

Flap, flap.

"..."

"Don't go over there!"

"..."

"Kai-mmmph!"

"Told you to be quiet, didn't I?" Kaiba said. He had gagged Jounouchi with his tie.

"Mmmfff!" Jounouchi's hands immediately went up to pry the gag off, but Kaiba caught them promptly, snickering at the futile effort that followed.

"Heh." He pushed the wide-eyed boy towards the bed.

"Mff! Mff!" Jou protested. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell sitting on it.

Kaiba pressed on, and soon he was laying on his back, with Kaiba looming over him.

"Mmmmmfffffff!"

Even the muffled sounds grated on Kaiba's nerves after a while, and he was about to snap at Jounouchi when the boy was suddenly quiet, tired of the restricted breathing.

He took pity, and fingered the piece of cloth. "You'll be quiet?"

Jounouchi nodded weakly.

Kaiba released the gag.

"Fuuah!" Jou breathed in relief, bouncing his back on the bed.

Kaiba held the tie in front of him threateningly, and he immediately shut his mouth tightly.

"Now that's not how I want it," Kaiba said. He tapped Jounouchi's cheek. "Open up. But no speaking."

Jounouchi obeyed unthinkingly. The moment he did, Kaiba pressed his lips on his mouth.

That was worse than the gag for Jounouchi. He thrashed around - as much as he could move, anyway - and tried to push his aggressor away.

Kaiba ignored the noises Jounouchi made, focusing only on those body parts he was interested in. Jounouchi's skin was rough, and while he'd certainly like a girl's smooth one better, he wasn't exactly disappointed.

Jounouchi's moves faltered gradually, as he was inevitably caught up in the swirl of sensations Kaiba was causing him to feel. Kaiba wasn't paying attention to that at any rate; he was being equally demanding whether Jounouchi was being resistant or not.

Jounouchi had clutched onto his shirt at some point, and was channeling his shocked reactions to whatever Kaiba was doing to his body. That he noticed, as it wasn't all painless when Jounouchi's fingernails dug on him, but he was a bit too busy to mind that.

A repressed gasp from Jounouchi caused him to look at the boy's face for the first time since he'd started this. He paused at the sight.

Jounouchi's eyes were pressed close, sweat all over his flushed face, his blonde bangs peeking out from under the brown-shaded wig. The long strands of artificial hair could not in the slightest hide those male features on Jounouchi: the firm jaw, the defined nose, the thick eyebrows knitted in resistance of pain and something else, the lines that spoke of many a hardship its owner had gone through.

And Kaiba was well aware that all along he hadn't been thinking of Jounouchi Shizuka.

"Not bad," he murmured as he leaned down to nibble at Jounouchi's throat. "Even as a guy."

"Y..." Jounouchi failed to speak, breathless.

Kaiba reached towards Jounouchi's head, and removed the wig.

Jou looked at him uncomprehendingly. Wasn't that against the deal?

"Now," Kaiba said with just a hint of command, "I want Katsuya."

Jounouchi startled. What on earth...

Kaiba for certain did not expect him to think at the moment. He had resumed his touches and caresses, this time exploring the distinctively male parts of Jounouchi that he hadn't cared about before.

He now wanted the brother.

Jounouchi stared dazedly at Kaiba, trying to figure out the guy's intentions. From time to time Kaiba paused to look at him, and Jounouchi found himself looking into the depths of those eyes, eyes that were always either too cold with contempt or too fiery with ambitions as he'd seen them, but had just proved themselves to be capable of holding something else equally intense: passion.

He wondered at it, momentarily forgetting what was taking place, until a sharp not-quite-pain jolted him. He let out a surprised cry, clutching onto Kaiba's bare shoulders. He hadn't realized how long the shirt had been gone- nor the pants, now that he noticed.

Kaiba pushed his shoulders down, and his fingernails scratched across Kaiba's arms as he was forced to let go of his grip. Kaiba didn't even flinch as he bent down to capture his lips.

.

.

Jounouchi finished buttoning up his shirt under Kaiba's watchful eyes.

"Now that it's done," he looked up murderously at Kaiba, "don't go near Shizuka again."

Kaiba joined his fingers, looking disinterested. "I have no obligation to comply."

"Kaiba!" Jou glared threateningly.

"Say, won't she come running if I hold you hostage?"

"You evil jerk!" Jou plunged forward.

"Or," Kaiba smirked, catching Jounouchi's fist, "I can always use a substitute."

Jou stared. "Do not think I'll do that ever again."

"Oh, but I thought you liked the dress? You went all clingy to it earlier."

Jou jerked his fist free from Kaiba's hold and sent it towards his face. Kaiba barely managed to dodge it.

"All right, all right, Katsuya."

He flinched. "Don't call me that!"

"Oh, I didn't know you were that attached to your doggy nicknames."

Jounouchi fumed, but couldn't quite find the words to retaliate. "Whatever!" he retorted finally, turning quickly to get the hell out of there.

Kaiba's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Let go! I've fulfilled your stupid bet, haven't I?"

Jounouchi was certainly in for a rude awakening of how cunning a Kaiba creature could be.

"Yes, certainly," Kaiba smirked, "but are you sure you want to leave me with this much of blackmail material?"

Jou stared, rather confused. "What blackmail material?"

"Wouldn't your friends be excited to know what you've been doing today?"

Jounouchi seemed ready to murder him.

Kaiba smiled.

"And won't that," Jounouchi started slowly, his tone very dangerous, "mean you'll also have to make it known what an underhanded pervert you are?"

Kaiba noted with a tinge of respect that Jounouchi was actually quite sharp once his fury went ahead of him.

"I do not plan to make that part public, of course," he responded calmly. "My plan actually involves more of letting them guess why I start to call you Shizuka-chan."

And to this he added a highly suggestive glance.

Jounouchi narrowed his eyes. "I'm sure I won't mind spilling the details when Mokuba asks."

Kaiba actually paled a bit. Then he sighed. "Okay, we have a deal."

"Glad to hear."

Jounouchi didn't seem to realize, though, that he hadn't secured any deal concerning the use of his own given name.

He began to leave the room, and Kaiba was still thinking up some other traps to catch him back, when the boy suddenly turned back.

"I almost forget," he grunted. "Give me back that card you stole."

A grin spread slowly across Kaiba's face. "I'm surprised you remember. Just now wasn't mind-blowing enough?"

"Of course I remember. It concerns Shizuka. Give it back."

Kaiba smirked. "How about a game, to make it a bit more meaningful?"

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