Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters and this bit of warped humor has come straight from my twisted mind.

Surprise Wedding

By: Nova Starlight

The Briefs family was all sitting down to a reasonably quiet Sunday dinner, when Trunks stood up and said, "I have an announcement." Everyone got quiet and all attention was directed on him. He looked at their expectant faces and said, "I'm getting married."

That statement was immediately followed by Bulma's shriek of, "You're what!?"

"I'm getting married," he repeated. "Aren't you happy for me mom?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Of course, I am a happy for you Trunks. Congratulations." Then she continued eating silently and he did not meet anyone's eyes. Trunks was so excited that he did not even seem to notice, the only person who did notice was Vegeta who watched her carefully and wondered why she was acting so strangely. Both of them were silent as Bra chatted on and on and peppered Trunks with questions.

"Can I be the flower girl?" she asked hopefully. "Can my bouquet be roses?" He answered her questions one at a time and the grin never left his face not even for a second. Vegeta just kept watching Bulma as she seemed to shrink back farther and farther from the happy scene until she was practically a foot from the table. She seemed meek and timid and was barely eating. He wanted to ask her about it or just say something but his pride prevented him. He just continued to watch her and hope everything was all right.

After Trunks had left for his apartment and Bar had been tucked into bed, Vegeta stood and watched Bulma clear the table. Usually, if he stood there long enough, she would make some flippant remark just to bait him, tonight she did not even glance in his direction.

When she was done she turned and walked past him to go upstairs, he followed and when they were settled on their separate sides of the bed he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He knew that once she thought he was asleep she would move into his arms to sleep. However, it became apparent after about twenty minutes that she intended to sleep away from him. He sighed and decided that just this once he could give in and approach her.

He rolled over to her side of the bed and wrapped his arms around her gently. Then he asked, "What's wrong?" Then she turned around to face him with a look of confusion. With as thick headed as Vegeta was she would have thought he would not notice something was wrong unless she kicked him in the ass and screamed 'Notice.' She smiled at him because she was happy that he had paid attention. Her hand caressed his cheek and she then let it move up into his hair.

"I guess it is just the thought of Trunks getting married," she replied. "He has always been my baby boy and now he will be starting a family of his own." He could understand that upsetting her but somehow he just had a feeling that was not the real reason for her being upset. He was not sure what it was but he had every intention of finding out. He pulled her closer to the warmth of his body and she tucked her face into the nook of his neck.

"This mating ceremony you call a wedding, what is it like?" he asked.

Bulma seemed to tense up and she averted the question by asking, "What were they like on Vegetasei?"

Vegeta felt a slight blush cross his face and was glad that Bulma could not see it. He remembered that he had explained to her a long time ago that saiyan mating was purely physical. "You know very well that I explained it all to you a long time ago," he replied. "It was private and no one else's business." She smiled again as she remembered that conversation and hopefully that would be the end of his questions. He looked down at her as if he were waiting for her to answer his question.

She closed her eyes and started by saying, "Well, here they are a very big deal and almost never private. The two people getting married have a big ceremony and invite all their friends and family. The ceremony varies depending on whether you are religious or not, and what that religion is. They take vows in front of a justice of the peace or a holy man. Then they sign a marriage license and everything is done.

Vegeta frowned as he heard the word vows. "What kind of vows?" he asked.

Bulma was starting to get a little annoyed by Vegeta's amount of questions. This was really a subject that she did not want to discuss with him. "You don't really care about weddings," she stated. "Why are you asking me?"

"I want to know what the brat is getting into," he said frustrated. "Now, tell me about these vows."

She looked away and said, "If you want to know so badly, look it up for yourself." Then she moved away from him and snuggled more securely under the covers. He moved closer to her and pulled her up against him again.

Then he whispered softly into her ear, "Just tell me."

"The groom and his best man wait at the end of the aisle between seats for the bride and groom's family. The bride walks down with her father or by herself and meets him. They hold hands and the holy man or justice of the peace gives them their vows." Then she snuggled herself closer to his chest and continued, "They look into each other's eyes and the person asks the groom, 'Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, to love honor and cherish until death do you part?' The bride says 'I do' and the person running the ceremony asks the bride the same vow."

Bulma then seemed to have had enough of his offered affection and turned away from his embrace. He did not know why she no longer wanted to sleep in his arms but he kept telling himself that he did not care. That night despite his best efforts he did not get very much sleep.

The next morning he sat at the kitchen table fully feeling the effects of his sleepless night. He had bags underneath his eyes as he sat at the table watching Bulma make breakfast. His eyes were droopy and bloodshot and it was all because of her. He scowled as he realized that she had not seemed to have any problems with their separation the night before. She placed some plates of food in front of him and then she walked out of the room as if he were invisible.

He was totally stumped as to what to do about the situation. Based on the way she had reacted to his questions the night before and the fact that she had started acting strange after Trunks's announcement, he was almost positive she was upset by the wedding. However, he did not understand why the wedding was upsetting her. He hated himself for what he was about to do but when all else fails, ask Kakkarot.

When he arrived at the Son house that afternoon, Goku was, to say the least, surprised to see him there. "What are you doing here?!" he asked in shock.

"I wanted to ask you some questions," he replied. "There is no one else I can ask, or I would most certainly not be here." Then he looked behind Goku and could see Chi-Chi and his kids on the couch. He wanted to talk to him in private so he suggested, "Why don't we take a walk around your backyard as we talk?" Goku nodded with a bright smile and closed the door behind himself as he exited the house. When they entered the back yard they sat down on the grass and Vegeta continued, "Trunks is getting married," he announced.

"That's great," replied Goku. "Is that what you wanted to ask me about, because this is the first I have heard of it."

Vegeta shook his head and said, "That is only part of what I want to talk about. The real reason I am here is because after Trunks announced his engagement at dinner last night, Bulma seemed very distant and sad."

"Did you ask her why?" replied Goku.

"Of course, I did, you blockhead," he bit out. "Would you just zip it and listen to me for one damn second." He waited for Goku to sit back before he continued. "She told me that she is upset because Trunks has always been her baby boy and now he would be having a family of his own." Goku opened his mouth as if he were going to say something and Vegeta simply swung out his hand and slapped him. "Before you ask another inane question, I do not think that is the real reason she is upset. All I want from you is a reason why she would be upset." Then he put his hand back down to his side and looked inquisitively at Goku.

Goku waited for a few minutes debating in his head whether he would be slapped again if he answered, and then finally he said, "It sounds reasonable that she would be upset over Trunks getting married because it means he is growing up but if you don't think that is it then all I can say is," he paused and put his hand behind head and smiled as he continued, "I have no idea."

Vegeta growled in anger and Goku shrank back as if waiting for another slap. "Well then Kakkarot, this has been an utter waste of my time," Then he stood up to leave, as he turned around he saw Chi-Chi leaning out of the open window.

"Listen here you numbskulls," she called out. "Bulma is upset because even I got a dimwit like my dear husband Goku down the aisle, without even having to use a frying pan, and she could never get you to marry her Vegeta. She thinks it is because you do not love her." Goku and Vegeta looked at her dumbstruck.

Finally, Goku asked, "Chi-Chi, how do you know that she feels that way?"

"A combination of women's intuition and the fact that I am the one she talks to," she replied sarcastically. Vegeta listened to then exchange with a small amount of self-disgust bubbling up within him. Why had he not realized her feelings sooner? Had he really let his pride get in the way of their relationship? Vegeta had always though that she knew deep down how much he cared about him but it seemed obvious now that he was wrong.

The shock finally disappeared from his face and he asked Chi-Chi, "Just how did you get that dimwit down the aisle?"

She just smiled and said, "I asked him while we were fighting at the world martial arts tournament."

"Well that obviously will not work," he mused to himself. He would just have to come up with another plan. He left the two of them without saying a word and returned to Capsule Corp. If nothing else he definitely needed to have a talk with Bulma. He went to the lab to look for her and when she was not there he decided to try looking in their bedroom. That is where he found her, wearing a plain and simple white tea-length dress and modeling it in front of the mirror.

Bulma was admiring the way she looked in the new dress she bought on a whim that day while she was shopping for something to wear to Trunks's wedding. She had picked up a couple of other things because this would obviously not be a good choice for the mother of the groom but for some reason she had been drawn to it. She was so involved in her thoughts that she did not even notice Vegeta admiring her from the open doorway.

However, she looked over in surprise when she heard his husky voice mumbles, "You look gorgeous," She looked away and smiled as a blush crept up her cheeks.

"It must have been some sparring session with Goku," she observed. "It does not look like you sweat at all." He avoided the question by closing the door and then walking up to her to unzip her dress.

"I was saving all of my energy for you," he replied. Then he pushed the dress down from her shoulders and was delighted to see that she was only wearing white bikini panties underneath. "You know that you look better when you wear absolutely nothing," he commented. Bulma began to feel confident so she bent down in front of him and slid her underwear off giving him a fabulous view of her butt. When she had stood up again, he turned her around and drew her into his embrace.

He laid her on the bed and proceeded to make love to her more gently and passionately than he had in years. He was not quite sure yet if he could give her the words that it seemed she needed but he hoped that for once his actions might actually give her the right impression of his feelings for her. When they were finished she laid her head on his chest and whispered, "I love you."

It was now or never, he thought to himself. He took a deep breath and said, "I love you too, Bulma." Then he waited silently for her reaction, minutes seemed to pass by like hours and still he heard nothing. He moved so that he could look down at her and saw that she had fallen asleep. He almost wanted to laugh; the one time that he had spoken his true feelings out loud she had not even been awake to hear it. He lay there and tried to come up with an idea of how to get this fool woman in his arms to marry him.

The problem was that wits and obstinance were not the only things they were matched in, they were pretty equal in pride too. He knew that if he outright asked her, she might refuse thinking that it was only being asked out of pity. He needed a way that was sincere and believable and would make her realize that he did care for her deeply. Finally, he came up with the perfect idea and slipped from Bulma's arms to call his son and Goku.

Two weeks later Vegeta stood in the large and opulent lobby of Capsule Corp. in a simple tux that was making him sweat, or maybe it was his nervousness that was making him sweat. All of Bulma's friends and family were seated in chairs and Trunks and Goten stood beside him as his best men. He had left a note for Bulma on their bed telling her to come downstairs to the lobby in her new white dress. He had planned the whole thing in secret and got Dende to come and marry them. Now, he could only hope that she just did as he instructed and that she would be pleasantly surprised to see what he had arranged.

He could feel all the sweat pouring down his body like it was in small waterfalls. The longer that he had to wait the more doubt that entered his mind. He could not help but think to himself that she would still say no and all of this would have been for nothing. He turned as if he were going to flee and Trunks placed a hand on his shoulder keeping him in place. He gritted his teeth and stood up straight again.

Finally, he sensed her presence coming down the staircase and he looked up with anticipation. There she stood, his vision, a beautiful blue-haired angel. He walked towards her and saw the shock playing over her features. He got down on one knee in front of her and pulled a newly purchased ring from his pocket. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied in a voice barely above a whisper. His nervousness was gone now and he breathed a deep sigh of relief. He took her hand and slipped the ring on and then he walked with her down the aisle towards Dende.

Dende began the ceremony by saying, "We are gathered here today to wed Bulma and Vegeta, a wedding I think their twenty year old son might say is a bit overdue." Then when the light giggling died down he looked at Vegeta and asked him, "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love, honor, and cherish her, until death do you part?"

"I do," he replied.

Then Dende asked Bulma, "Do you take this saiyan to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to love, honor, and cherish him, until death do you part?"

"I do," she replied. Then she took a hold of his hands and looked into his eyes. She could hardly believe that this was happening. Then she saw a strange look cross over his face and he turned to saw something to Trunks. Dende was about to continue the ceremony but Vegeta interrupted him. Bulma was worried, could he have possibly changed his mind?

Then she heard Vegeta say, "Trunks and Goten cover that weakling's mouth." They went into the audience and clamped their hands over Yamcha's mouth. Yamcha struggled under their hold to no avail. Vegeta looked at Dende who was somehow not very surprised by the turn of events and said, "You may continue."

He smiled and called out, "Is there anyone here, not otherwise restrained, that feels these two should not be wed?" Vegeta gave them all a warning look before he turned back to face Bulma. After a moment of silence, Dende continued, "Since there are no objections, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Vegeta gave her the most passionate and heartfelt kiss he could and heard Trunks and Goten hoot with approval. He knew then that his surprise wedding had been a success.

Six months later it was his turn to be the guest at a wedding, his son's wedding in fact. He and Bulma sat in the front row and held hands as they watched him nervously shift his weight from one foot to the other. Goten was the best man so he put his hand on Trunks's shoulder to reassure him. Finally, the bride emerged from the back and began to make her way down the aisle, and as the vows were being read Bulma rested her head on Vegeta's shoulder. Then they watched their son get married as husband and wife.

The End